effin sick

Lie to me - Dean Winchester x Reader - Chapter 2 (French Mistake AU)

Title: Lie to me

Pairing: Dean/Jensen x Reader x Sam

Word Count: 4,342

Warnings: None

Imagine: Imagine Dean and Sam getting transported to the French Mistake universe. Only for Dean to realize he is married to you, his best friend, love of his life and… Sam’s girlfriend.

Great thank you to @gaveherhearttotheliontattoo for being an amazing beta!

Read Part 1 here!

“Well, talking about awkward huh?” Dean laughed nervously as Sam only looked at him with a hard look.

“Yeah, very.” he said through pursed lips and Dean cleared his throat, avoiding looking at him in the first place.

“Honey?” it was your voice that broke the silence that had set between the two Winchesters “Can you come help me?” you sounded a little too eager and at your question Dean’s body stiffened and he felt his heart beat harder inside his chest. Gosh, how every fiber in his body just screamed for him to find you.

But he knew he had to keep himself, much less something from showing. He cleared his throat and shook his head “Well, this is gonna be a whole lot of fun.” he huffed.

“Definitely.” Sam mumbled and Dean instantly looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

“You know I’m just joking, right?” he asked with a deep frown but Sam wouldn’t even look him in the eyes.

“Yeah, when are you not?” he stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets and prefered to look at the things that were in the house instead of pay attention to his insanely increasing jealousy.

Keep reading


- That’s an endangered species. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?
-  Don’t point that gun at him, he’s an unpaid intern.
- Interesting specimen … 
- They say you’ve got the crazy eye! 
-  Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is-h-how did you get my espresso machine?
- Well… uh… we fuckin’ stole it, man.
- Son of a bitch, I’m sick of these dolphins.
- Oh, shit! Swamp leeches!
- Everybody, check for swamp leeches, and pull them off!
- Nobody else got hit? I’m the only one? What’s the deal?
- This is an adventure.
- Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go on an overnight drunk
- In 10 days I’m going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.
- Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.
- We made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music.
- Don’t you think the public perception of your work has significantly altered in the last five years?
- That’s your first question? I thought this was supposed to be a puff piece.
- Is it true that this is going to be your last voyage?
- I thought aspects of it seemed slightly fake.
- I think you’re a fake. I think you’re a phony.
- I would’ve named you “Kingsley” if I had a say in it.
- Are those assholes talking about me?
- People say that when someone says something like that, it’s because they’re jealous. But it still hurts. It hurts bad.
- That man was damn rude. He can go straight to hell.
- Let’s go to my island.
- Your cat’s dead. A rattlesnake bit it in the throat. 
- She’s a rich bitch, you know. She was raised by maids. 
- I’m going to find it and I’m going to destroy it. I don’t know how yet. Possibly with dynamite.
- I’m part gay.
- Please don’t make fun of me. I just wanted to flirt with you.
- Are those hijackers?
- Nobody picked me up at the effin’ airport!
- I’m sick of being on “B” squad.
- You might be on “B” Squad, But you’re the “B” Squad leader.
- I hate fathers, and I never wanted to be one.
- I’m going to have to start locking my effing door.
- They made soup out of my research turtles.
- You know I’m not good at apologizing, so I’ll just skip it if it’s all the same to you.
- You never say, “I’m gonna fight you.” You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.
-Do you mind if I butter you up a little before I answer that question?
- If you ever touch me again, I will kick your goddamned teeth out.
- That pregnant slut is playing us like a cheap fiddle!
- That’s it. I’m retired.
- I’m so pissed I wanna spit!
- Are you finding what you were looking for out here with me? 
- I just became a Knight in Portugal, the Presidente gave a special ball.
- Don’t be nice to [name,] s/he’s my nemesis.
- Those fucking amateurs. You left your dog, you idiots!
- We’re being led on an illegal suicide mission by a selfish maniac.
- Fuck! They wired it! Go downstairs and get me cable snippers.
- If we don’t handle this right, we’re gonna all get murdered.
- I’ll order you a red hat and a bikini.
- I’ll order you a red cap and a speedo.
- I need to find a baby for this father.
- You really think it’s cool for you to hit the sauce with a bun in the oven?
- I’ll fight it, but I won’t kill it. Now, what about my dynamite?
- Obviously people are going to think I’m a showboat, and a little bit of a prick. But then I thought… that’s me.
- I said those things, I did those things. I can live with that.
- This is probably my son. 
- I said get your ass the hell off of my boat!
- Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass.
- One of the interns just fell down the stairs with the main tracking processor.
- By the way, who knocked up the journalist?
- Next time you have a brilliant idea, whisper it to me first. Otherwise I look sort of like a Day-Dream-Johnny, you know?
- We’re a dying breed.
- You strike me as a very special boy. 
- Thank you very much for naming your bug after me. 
- I know I haven’t been my best this past decade.
- Tell them if they don’t get off my boat right now… there’s gonna be a major shit-storm.
- We got about 25-30 minutes before the Coast Guard gets here to arrest us.
- Give me that camera. I’m gonna smash it over your head.
- I’m sorry I never acknowledged your existence all those years.
- Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.
- You let him change your name?!
- Do you think [name] and I have a family resemblance? 
- We fuckin’ stole it, man
- I was sort of terrified about having this baby. And right now I’m not really scared of anything. Maybe it’s my hormones.
- I’m sorry that you think my red hat is - what’s the word you used? - “contrived.” 
- You’re the most ravishing creature that I’ve ever seen in my life.
- Apparently some crooked fuckers broke into my [place] yesterday.
- Do you know that you just charted us on a course through unprotected waters?
- I think you’ll make a very good single mother. 

I think my favorite Led Zeppelin song would be ‘Immigrant Song,’ ‘cause it’s such a sick, ‘effin, heavy-ass song. We all know that Sabbath or Blue Cheer were the first heavy metal bands, but that first riff, the drum beat, the bass, and the way Plant screams the intro… to me, that was the first heavy metal song.
—  Eddie Reyes, guitarist, Taking Back Sunday, “Led Zeppelin: Sound and Fury,” 2013 by Neal Preston.


it’s emalf here, finally got around to making an effin’ sick geocities page so people can ask me shit! obviously there’s a lot of stuff to ask, i’m a pretty interestin’ dude. oh, and i guess the other flame demons are around too sometimes… so GO SEND US SOMETHIN’!