Note: If you noticed, my posts have been very jumbled and disturbing. That’s because I’ve been having crap thrown at me every single day. I don’t know what God’s trying to do to me, but I’m sure he just wants to break me down and shape me up. and um, this blog is going to be super long.
I called my friend once I got back into the car. (…Costco jerks) I was sobbbbing. He told me to go to EFCI’s bible study because I needed brothers and sisters. Even though I was absolutely s-faced, I sped. I arrived just in time.
As soon as John opened the door for me, I ran to Shannon and poured out. I felt super sick. I had a huge headache. My eczema was flaring up. My eyes were swollen. I was dizzy. (the daily symptoms) Even though I couldn’t focus on the lesson, God helped me get there. God provided me with the fellowship right after I broke down. (um, perfect timing.) Even though nobody really knew what was wrong with me ( “…you’re a wreck” says John) I really appreciated having such good brothers and sisters with me. After we finished the lesson, I shared my problems to all the sisters during our prayer time and they sincerely listened to me. After that, they surrounded me and prayed for me. It reminded me of when I was sick at missions in Taiwan. And it felt just as amazing. Tiffany let me rest in her bed and she gave me a bag of Advil before I drove home.
Once I got home, I realized how empty it was. It was dark. Nobody was there. Teddy was taken. I washed dishes and cleaned in complete silence. I was so scared. I fell asleep crying.
I woke up crying. I dragged myself to church (late). I stood embaressed, not knowing where to sit. But as soon as I looked to my left, Bryan and Melody invited me over to sit with them. It’s interesting how I barely knew them, but that they care for me so much.
After the service finished and I walked out, Hazel gave me lemon chamomile teas and throat-coat herbal teas and I received some hugs. I walked over to my sunday school class, feeling really awful that I hadn’t made anything for my kids, but Ruth found me, held my arm and walked with me to class. My missions partner Isabella came to help me teach since I was so weak. I felt like my kids were taking care of me, instead of me taking care of my kids. Teaching them was so fun. i’m going to friggin miss these kids. I don’t know if i can let them gooooo :(:(:(
My lesson plan:
(I find drawings very practical for teaching kids. it makes lessons funner for them, & they love looking through my sketchbook.)
And this is the drawing Rachel drew for me in my sketchbook after class.
A flower and Mr. Fly guy
Moving in = super painful. I wanted to go to a hospital or take some semester absence….. but thank God my friends and not so close friends have been checking up on me so much. (texting, emailing, caling, fb-msging) I feel so… loved. thank you, seriously. This feels good. Being spoon-fed and cared for, esp since I’m such a big crybaby right now. I know they’re not doing it out of obligation. but really just out of sincere love.
And now, I’m enjoying a cup of the herbal tea that Hazel gave me. I’m very, very weak. I’m starting to think that God’s physically tearing me down to force me to sleep early. because yes, I’m going to sleep now.