@dankiawarden fact of the day, this is my very first ever fenhawke artwork! I’ve never done a piece with them before :3 So I hope I did it justice! <3 Thanks for requesting this. I hope you like it! :D
As a YoungArts finalist, I’ve spent the last week in glorious Miami with 24 of the most talented young writers in the country. It has been an incredible, incredible honor and experience. I still can’t believe I was even chosen, that’s just how amazing everyone there was. As a finale to the one week intensive, I performed my poem “Sink” at The Jewel Box and this is it!
My aunt miscarried four times and after each one, she took me to Chinatown in the city, and we would watch the gloved men gut fish after fish after fish as if it meant something.
She carried all the ultrasounds for years after, with names and the expected date of birth scribbled on the back, and on the train ride home, she’d clutch the bag of headless fish close to her body, and softly, rub her finger over the worn leather of her wallet, where the faint memories of life gathered dust inside.
My uncle used to burn hundreds of matches on the front porch, each one burning like a firefly. The first time we came home, he stared at my aunt’s stomach and stumbled backwards, something immense, something too big to understand, to describe, quaking inside of him. He stopped burning matches and started burning flowers, instead.
My aunt carries him too; in the way she walks, stooped over, with this gentle sorrow pulling her into the floor like sand.
Salma, May 17th 2003 Laila, November 29th 2006 Sophia, January 4th 2007 Hanna, August 23rd 2011
Four seasons for four daughters; every day, dawn is the time for grief, dawn is the moment where my aunt can finally sob under the weight of the world, a 34 year old Atlas with a home empty of children, and a body that deemed her unfit; I have grown into a family of grief, a life in which mourning and morning mean the same thing.
She said once: I am a shell, and you can hear the ocean sputter and cough in my bones; I swear, I would swim, if I wasn’t already sinking.
@ultimateshitbag@reborntale omfg….I’ve been hooked on reborntale by those two lovely people ;w;
Ultimates art is like….amazing and i love how they draw these two…probably got the proportions wrong. :,D hope you two like this. Eep and its not too sloppy ;u;
Haven’t written in forever! Eep! Didn’t fact check 100% of the ages but I hope you like it.
Aelin watched the snowflakes fall, lost in thought. Her first Yulemas back in Terrasan in so, so long. Up north, snow was common nearly year round, but it was wonderfully appropreate for the flakes to fall back down. Growing up, it had always been regarded as good luck to have snow on Yulemas.
She remembered that no flakes had fallen that year.
But instead of frowning, Aelin smiled, letting the memory fade and replacing it with warmer ones. Early holidays, riding around the kingdom in the morning, breathing in the scent of pine trees. The extravagant holidays at the Assassin’s Keep. They’d been lavish in all the ways she’d adored, but she thought back to the simplest gift. Sam had tossed a package at her the moment she’d left her room the morning in her thirteenth year. She’d hissed at him, but he just growled something about not to stab him in the back. It had been a very simple, well-weighted knife.
She touched the window before her.This holiday had been wonderful, too. Aedion and Rowan had chopped down the largest pine they could find, while Aelin, Lysandra, and Evangeline spent the time covering every available surface with garland and ribbons. The tree was kept very simple: a star at the top and candy strings swung around the way Aelin and Aedion had done when they were younger. Aelin had told Fleetfoot very clearly that if anything happened to the tree overnight, she would be blamed.
Fleetfoot did not pee on the tree.
In the morning, Dorian, Chaol, and Nesryn had finally arrived and the gift exchange began. Notably, Dorian, the smart boy, brought a ten pound bag of candy. This time, he managed to take a receive a few back before Aelin finished. Nesryn had baked pounds upon pounds of Yulemas tarts, which disappeared very quickly. Aedion attempted to give feeble handmade ornaments to each of the friends, the most ornate suspiciously going to Lysandra. It had been a day of love and laughter and fun. It had been a day of family.
Night had come, and people had retired to their respective rooms. She and Rowan had opted to save their gift exchange for the evening.
Aelin smelled Rowan’s pine-and-snow scent before even reaching the room. In all honesty, she didn’t know what to expect. She’d hardly known what to get him. Still, Aelin wanted to know what he’d gotten her. Not that’d she’d peek, she just wanted to find it. Aelin had(lightly) checked around the castle and had seen no trace of any gift. She didn’t know what he would get her. But she wanted to know. And she wanted him.
When her eyes reached her fae, she smiled broadly. A tender kiss served as greeting before the two sat on the bed.
“I’ll go first,” Aelin declared. She was nervous, not hesitant.
Rowan growled lightly. You’ve gotten bossy since you became queen, he teased.
She didn’t bother hiding her eye roll. I’ve always been bossy.
Rowan nodded, and the two smiled gently at each other. After a second, Aelin lept off the bed and dug around in her wardrobe. At the very back was a large box.
“That’s where you hid it?” Rowan exclaimed. “I searched every nook and cranny, figuring there was no way this oh-so-brilliant queen would hide a box right in her bedroom.”
“Our bedroom,” she corrected. And it worked, didn’t it? Naughty boy, she added cheekily with a glance.
Rowan looked about two seconds from snatching the gift from her hands, very different from his usual relaxed and controlled demeanor. She wondered how long it had been since he’d had a real Yulemas.
The gift was neatly wrapped in green and white paper. Aelin’s smile grew as he so obviously struggled to resist the urge to tear the paper.
Inside the box was a very frilly, very short, golden nightgown.
Rowan stared at the gown for a long minute before fixing her way a bored expression. It’s not quite my size.
Maybe you’ll find some other use for it was the coy response.
Rowan tugged a little at the material before glancing meaningfully at the bed. “Well,” he mused aloud, “it might look very good around your wrists.”
With a deep blush, Aelin gritted out that he should look further into the box. What had been hidden under the dress was a flower. Not any flower, but a terrasen rose.
The terrasen roses was considered very special to the kingdom. When Rhoe got engaged to Evalin, Evalin’s family presented them with an enchanted rose bush that was said to never prick the well intentioned and to smell sweet without ever wilting, even after plucked for eternity. But it was more than that. Whenever Aelin got sick, Evalin Ashryver would make Aelin a tea from the rose petals. Even though no one had ever claimed the petals had any healing properties, it was comforting.
The bush had been burned, those years ago. It stood to reason the roses were gone forever. But a few weeks ago, while Lysandra and Aelin went for a walk, there was a single rose at the base of a tree. How it got there, Aelin could not know, but she knew it was for her.
And now she gave it to Rowan. Because the terrasan rose was a kind part of her childhood, and flowers would always have a special meaning to Rowan. He knew what the rose was, too, because Aelin had mentioned it before. Rowan fixed his gaze at her, a bittersweet smile.
A moment later, Rowan slid off the bed and grabbed a package from under it. Apparently over the past centuries Rowan hadn’t learned how to properly wrap a box.
It was a small shape, and it smelled odd.
Aelin sniffed. Why does it smell like dirt? she asked with a tilt of her head.
Rowan shrugged. I didn’t want you to find it early.
You think I’d be as childish as to look for it early?
So you buried it?
Fae brat, she thought before carefully opening the present.
It was the dagger.
Inside was the dagger Sam had given her seven years ago.
She stared at the dagger, then back at Rowan. How?
Her fae prince shrugged. “When I was in Rifthold a few weeks ago, I stopped by the Keep. Your scent was very faint, but I smelled it.
She still didn’t know how he’d found it; she’d tossed it aside so carelessly for something shiny when she was so young.
Aelin clutched the dagger tightly and then hugged him.
Warnings: violence - reader is attacked, beaten up. Also some heavy language (i never put language warnings but there’s a bit in here)
a/n: 400 followers omg! i love you all so much, eep! i hope you guys like this installment! :-)
anything you say here is confidential. Unless I feel that it may be endangering
to you or your fellow inmates, whatever you say,” the prison therapist, Melanie
Garcia, said, “shall remain in this room.”
make me want to talk though,” you muttered, playing with your hands.
went through, and you’re going on trial soon, right?” You nodded in response to
her question and she continued. “Tell me about that.”
there to say? My time has come,” you answered, not looking up at her.
“How do you
feel about being back in the courtroom again?”
absolutely terrifies me.” You laughed nervously, rubbing your hand on your
thigh. “I thought I’d be okay, but now I don’t know how I’ll cope back there.”
“And why do
you think that you won’t be okay?” She asked you, taking notes on her notepad.
I wonder why it’s less terrifying to face the boy
you love once you know that you love him. Why I’m not half-sick at the thought
of going down to supper with a headful of sweetheart ribbons declaring my love,
knowing that he will never love me in return.
love is not an expectation, catkin, murmurs my father in my mind, an echo of a
conversation from my childhood. It
doesn’t cease to be simply because it isn’t returned. That’s why so many hearts
break: the weight of love, borne alone and unreturned, becomes too much.
Sometimes they shatter, sometimes they split cleanly in two and fall apart, and
sometimes they crack slowly and silently over a period of weeks, months, even
any broken thing can be repaired, he explained, but
not all choose this path. Some prefer a heart full of holes that can never
truly hold love again, and for those pitiable folk whose hearts have been
shattered, every last piece must be found before the heart can be made whole
once more, and some of those pieces they’d rather remain lost forever.
will never be broken,
I told him firmly, with an eight-year-old’s stubbornness and ingenuity. I’ll build a great stone wall around it so
no one can get in.
late for that, catkin, he replied with a gentle laugh. Your heart is brimming with love already: for your mama, your sister,
and me. What’s more, you could build a tower as high as the sky and your
sweetheart would still find your heart. Be he a sparrow sheltering at your
shutters or a mousekin burrowing through the soil to make a nest in your
cellar, a bee in the honeysuckle growing up your walls or a sunbeam spilling across
your hearthrug at noon, he’ll find you and you’ll love him so fiercely that
you’ll tear down those walls with your bare hands just to embrace him.
I look in the mirror again and raise a hand to
cover my naked heart. “You were wrong, Dad,” I whisper. “I didn’t have to tear
down the walls. They crumbled when I saw him.”
A/N: This was inspired by the lovely luvs-jade. The prompt was: Rae’s mum and Karim had to leave for the school year and Rae has to stay at Finn’s. Or something along those lines. When I started writing this, I’d forgotten the prompt and then when I finished, I went back and looked at it and got it completely wrong so I’m very sorry. But, I hope you like it anyway?? Eep. Enjoy :)
There’s a steaming cup of tea sitting on the counter, the first light of a new dawn filtering in through Finn’s kitchen window. Rae wakes up to the sound of the kettle beeping.
As she pads down to the kitchen, yawning and stretching along the way. It’s quiet in the house, so unlike the night before when all Rae could hear was the sounds of Finn’s moans and noises of pleasure mixing in with her own, echoing through the otherwise empty house.
(It was pure luck that Finn’s dad had a conference the same week Rae’s mum and Karim went on holiday before the baby was born. It wasn’t planned, this arrangement where they stay in all morning, meet the gang in the afternoon, then spend the rest of the night cuddled up on the couch or lounging on Finn’s bed listening to the The Smiths but Rae had showed up that first night and never left. )
When Rae peeks her head out from behind the wall, Finn’s pouring himself a brew, navigating around his little kitchen. He’s good here, she thinks. Comfortable in his own space. He’s so raw like this, undone with his hair skewed and messy, sweats hanging low on the sharp cut of his hips. Rae likes this version of him. The one that doesn’t have sunglasses to hide behind, the one that doesn’t shove his hands into his pockets to keep them from shaking because he hasn’t had a smoke in hours. She likes that she’s the only one to get to see him like this.
“Morning,” she says, wrapping his blanket tight around her shoulders.
Finn turns, a little smile on his lips.
“Hiya,” he grabs the cup that’s sitting on the counter and hands it to her. “Sleep good?”
“Better than ever.” she takes a sip and smiles into Finn’s hair when he kisses her cheek. The tea’s good, too. Three sugars and no milk, just how she likes it.
They spend the morning on the sofa, Rae’s head in Finn’s lap, his fingers massaging her scalp gently. She thinks that they could just do this forever, be like this until they’re old and gray and even then, they’ll sit with each other and talk about anything and everything. She feels almost grown.
(And she knows it’s stupid, to wish things like this but when Finn’s pressed up against her like he is, whispering things about life and the future and everything Rae is scared of in a way that makes it less frightening, she can’t help but think that it would all be okay as long as Finn is there with his hands tight around hers. Because his hands have always made her feel like the world is hers for the taking.)
By night, they’re spent and sort of drunk and high off the stale spliff Chloe had gotten. Chop wanted to go to the pub for a bit which turned into a few hours turned into five hours and now they’re home, stumbling over each other and laughing into each other’s necks, barely pulling apart from the other for longer than a minute.
When they get into Finn’s bed, the moon casts shadows on his walls, gray and dark and soft. Rae traces them along the planes of his bare chest as they’re coming down from their euphoric high and from the high of being everything else. The high of being young and free and doing whatever they want because they’re infintely in love, to the point where they tremble at the thought of being with other people. She wasn’t prepared for this, she thinks. To need someone so fiercely that even the thought of having this with anyone else or not at all makes her skin itch.
But then Finn is here, too, his hand coming up to lace their fingers together, to press soft kisses on her knuckles and she feels it, this sensation under her skin like it might be dangerous to love someone like him.
Then again, Rae hardly ever walked on the safe side of things.
After many days of trudging through work and holding in my emotions, and many nights of letting them spill on my pillows as tears, I finally got the courage to do this. My hands gripped the steering wheel as I stared at Ashton’s house. I was going to give Michael all of his stuff that was at our apartment. I mean my apartment. It was tough but I packed everything he owned and put it all in my car. I’m glad I did it though. It’s helped me get over what’s happened a bit. But I still had some mixed emotions churning within me. I just needed to be free of reminders of Michael for my birthday coming up in a few days. The birthday he planned a surprise party for. I sighed and shook my head. Let it go. I took in a deep breath, reaching for the door handle and pushing the car door open. During my mid-shuffle out of the car, the front door of the house creaked open. My gaze flicked up and I hoped and prayed it was Y/B/F/N. Footsteps lightly hit the footpath and my heart dropped when the person rounded the corner. Michael. I sucked in a deep breath and slammed my car door shut. “Y/N?” Michael asked in shock. I walked towards the back of my car and didn’t respond, the ache in my chest quickly turning into a bubbling anger from remembering all the hurt he caused me. “Y/N, what are you doing here?” He asked again. I reached the back of my car, flinging open the boot and grabbing the first box. “Returning your shit.” I said, shoving his stuff at the lawn. “Hey!” He said, reaching out his hand as if it would stop the box from falling. I grabbed the second box, shoving it down next to the first. “Y/N..” Michael said less forcefully, it sounded almost regretful. “Y/N, can’t we just talk about this.” He tried to reason. I frowned as I got the third box out of the boot. Just the other day he was yelling at me for being reasonable and asking for space. And now he’s trying to be reasonable with me. No way. He’s not getting another chance. “No.” I said simply, tossing the box to the ground. Michael sighed in defeat, walking towards the garage. I tossed the final box to the ground, shutting the boot and getting back in the driver’s seat. My heart felt heavy as I looked at Michael for what I thought was the last time. It was hard to be angry with someone you still loved, no matter what they did. I watched as Michael approached my car, walking towards my door. Maybe he was coming to say Happy Birthday early? My heart did a little flip, making me grunt in frustration that he still had some hold on me. Michael tapped on my window, so I rolled it down, wondering what he was going to say. He leaned in and gave me his cheeky, old smirk, making me smile internally. “What?” I asked, a little happier than I wanted. I put up a wall inside me, trying to shut Michael out. “I’m gonna need you to get the hell off the driveway. Thanks love.” He said with a smile, curling his fingers beneath my chin before snatching them back and walking away. I felt furious and internally hurt. What a dick. I gripped the steering wheel again, my knuckles turning white. I had to let it go so I could let him go. Shifting the car into reverse, I swung out of the driveway and floored it down the street, leaving Michael in a cloud of smoke. ~~~~ “Come on!” Y/B/F/N whined, tugging my arm. I laid sprawled out on my bed, trying to make it hard for her to get me up. Y/B/F/N had been at my place before I got there and hadn’t stopped pestering me since she walked through the front door. She was hoping to take me out for a girl’s night out, but I wasn’t feeling up to it. “No Y/B/F/N. I’m not going.” I groaned, looking at her pulling my arm playfully. “Please Y/N! Please!” She said, throwing her head back in annoyance. After a second she quickly flicked it back to look down at me with a mischievous spark in her eye. “We can take photos of ourselves having fun to show Michael what he’s missing,” She grinned cheekily, sitting on the side of the bed, “We could even take photos of us with guys.” I stared straight in her eyes, considering her offer. It could make Michael jealous and show him that I’m over him even though technically we’re still together. “Okay. Let’s do it.” I nodded, hopping off the bed and heading straight to my half empty drawers. “That’s the spirit!” Y/B/F/N exclaimed. ~~~~ I had changed into a cute, purple dress that flowed out at my hips with some nice heels to finish it off. “Looking hot Y/N.” Y/B/F/N smiled. “Thanks.” I said plainly. I wasn’t in the mood to play along or to even do this. My heart felt ice cold and heavy after today. I was completely rid of Michael. I was supposed to be happy. But for some reason I wasn’t. I looked Y/B/F/N up and down quickly. She looked gorgeous. Drop-dead gorgeous. But all I said was, “You too.” Before heading out the front door and to her car. We both hopped in, speeding off down the street to our destination.
Best Friend’s POV Y/N wasn’t herself tonight. Normally when I offered to do this sort of thing we would both be bouncing off the walls, but tonight she was down and dragging me down with her. Maybe her mood would go right back up with what I had in store for her tonight. I giggled with excitement as I drove, wrapping my fingers tightly around the steering wheel. Y/N frowned at me which made my smile fall and my grip loosen. I couldn’t give the surprise away. I hoped she didn’t recognise it though…
Your POV We pulled up in front of Y/B/F/N’s house in the pitch black night. “What are we doing here?” I frowned, pointing at her house. “I forgot my handbag.” She said, waving away my confusion. Y/B/F/N hopped out of the car before popping her head back in. “You’re coming too! You have to help me decide which one to bring!” She smiled. Her happiness was contagious, a smile cracking on my face. I felt my inner wall crumble as I got out of the car and walked beside Y/B/F/N, linking my arm with hers. Even though I was trying to block my emotions out, I couldn’t block her out no matter how hard I tried. We approached the front door but I stopped, hearing something scrape on the floor inside the house. “Did you hear that?” I asked, leaning to peer in the window. Complete darkness. “Nope. Didn’t hear anything.” She shrugged, unlocking the door. She stepped aside and gestured for me to walk in. “Okay…” I said, eyeing Y/B/F/N suspiciously. I walked through the front door and flicked on the lights. “SURPRISE!” I jumped back in shock. A large group of people filled the lounge room and front foyer. Some were on the stairs even though they can’t really hide there. I laughed for the first time in days in shock and happiness. Y/B/F/N planned this all for me! Wait a sec. I remember these streamer and balloon colours. I pulled Y/B/F/N aside. “These were the decorations from,” I swallowed my nausea, “Michael and Sylvia’s surprise birthday party plans.” I whispered. And it wasn’t my birthday for a few days. “I know it’s not your birthday but you were down so I thought to do this early. I want you to be happy.” She smiled before looking at her feet, “And Michael handed the plans over to me. He still wanted you to have a good birthday.” The guilt washed over me like a tidal wave. Even after what I’d done he still wanted me to have a good birthday. No wait. I hadn’t done anything. He had. I straightened myself and turned around to face everyone. “Let’s get this party started!” I shouted. People responded with hollers and hoots as a loud song began to pulsate through the house. Y/B/F/N walked in front of me. “Let’s forget about Michael kissing that girl,” She smiled hesitantly, swallowing nervously. She only does that when she’s hiding something. I was going to ask her about it, but she cut me off. “Let’s party!” Y/B/F/N squealed. She walked away from me, greeting the people she invited. I would have done it with her but I needed to go to the bathroom. People yelled happy birthday’s at me as I pushed past them, trying to reach the stairs. The decorations around the house reminded me of Michael which is not what I wanted. It brought back the familiar feeling of burning at the back of my throat but I held it back. Not in front of these people. I finally pushed through the crowd and quickly got up the stairs, walking down the hall to the bathroom. A familiar voice from behind me stopped me. “Nice party isn’t it. Well of course it is, I planned it.” The voice sent chills down my spine. I forced my walls up again, holding in my pure anger and loathing as I spun around. And there she was. The girl who kissed Michael. The girl who Michael kissed. The bitch in the flesh. Sylvia.
A/N This is a filler chapter so that’s why it’s not as “interesting” as the rest. Sorry about that! And my writing in this one wasn’t as good as other times due to nerves (school’s back tomorrow eep!) But I still hope you like it :) Bianca xx
Welcome to knb-hell!!!! Hope you do well with this blog 😘😘😘 Akashi fluff please?
(this fluff isn’t really working(?) eeps I hope you like it :3)
You blindly reached out for your phone, answering the call without even checking the caller ID.
“Good morning,” The person on the other end said.
Out of reflex, you replied, “Morning, mom.” Said person chuckled at your reply, successfully snapping you out of your daze. Shooting up from your bed, you looked at your phone screen and squeaked. “Morning… Akashi-kun.”
“So you are awake, my daughter. Did you get your beauty sleep?” You hummed softly as you listened to your boyfriend soothing voice. “Get some more sleep. I will pick you up for our date later,” He said and you nodded absentmindedly although he could not see you.
You woke up for the second time that day to the touch of someone stroking your hair. Thinking it was your mother, you asked, “What time is it, mom?”
“Almost half a day is gone, darling.” The familiar chuckle effectively drove away your drowsiness and you scowled at Akashi with no ill intention. You snuggled against the warmth of Akashi’s palm and sighed contentedly. You lifted your blanket and invited Akashi to join you. He complied to your request and laid beside you as you snuggled to your new source of heat.