My mom and mothering: how to talk the talk without walkin it.

She just loves telling all her friends about how she and I spend time together.. how she’ll come home earlier just to “spend time with me.”  Rearrange her schedule just to “spend time with me.”  

Reality: she goes home, says hi, then talks on the phone/goes on facebook for hours.

Also, she always acts as if she has to wake up early to help get me ready for school.

Reality: I wake myself up around 7.  IF she wakes me up (I usually end up waking her up before I leave for school) she wakes me up at 8am or later (a.k.a. way after school has started)

askoriginsrayman asked:

"You should only give kisses to people on their cheeks, unless it's someone special, in which you can kiss them on the lips." She says, pulling him closer. Bad tilts his head. "What are you looking for?... Oh. Hmm. I think it just converted into your web hole? I'm guessing?"

(<Oooooh… …Master Ales deserves all the kisses on the lips then! (He grinned. Evans does not get love at all.)>)

Eeeeer… …Wait! I see it! (She stepped in her place a little while looking excited.) It’s a bit of a doozy to see but maybe if I roll over you can see it! (She then rolled over and pointed to where her vagina’s new location was.)