Sogna in grande, dicono, mira alle stelle. E poi ci rinchiudono per 12 anni e ci dicono dove sederci, quando far pipì e cosa pensare. Poi compiamo diciotto anni e senza aver mai avuto un nostro pensiero, dobbiamo prendere la decisione più importante della nostra vita.
This is the first post in a three post series on Compulsory Heterosexuality.
What is Comp Het?
heterosexuality, or comp het, is a lesbian specific experience that occurs when
lesbians are influenced by societal pressures into believing that they are or
could be attracted to men.
Comp het is not
genuine attraction and acting on comp het usually results in traumatic or
extremely unpleasant experiences for questioning lesbians, as sex or
relationships that lack genuine attraction can be emotionally draining and
Common Signs of
Your crushes on
men are all famous or fictional characters that you will never realistically be
able to interact with.
You tend to have
crushes on men who are seemingly unavailable or unattainable such as teachers,
married or older men and you lose all attraction or get extremely uncomfortable
if there are any implications that they might like you back.
You don’t find
guys attractive until one of your friends express their attraction of a man.
You mistake the
desire for male approval as attraction. You don’t necessarily want a
relationship with men, but you want men to want a relationship with you.
You have a ‘list’
of impossible criteria in your head that a man must meet for you to be
attracted to him, and if you ever meet someone who matches all the criteria you
just add more impossible standards.
relationships with men as a chore, burden, or just something you must deal
i doodled a bit so a concept: serizawa katsuya has two loving parents
his mother went through some hard times with him during his time being all hikikomori’d up and miscalculated when she had been at her wits end, and his father couldn’t be there much due to his job and didn’t know how to connect with katsuya’s problems the rare times he was…. but after the biggest weights were lifted from their shoulders, they quickly snapped back into a close, happy family.
here they’re all super stoked about having bought katsuya a proper suit for the first time ever, and of their son getting a job that’s not a fucking cult bent on world domination. not pictured is their dog currently chewing katsuya’s shoes.
their names are aiko and ishi and y ea i did this mainly to think through stuff for the next chapter of shit-all. spoiler: they’re so good people they adopt reigen immediately.
Dream big they say, shoot for the stars, then they lock us away for 12 years and tell us where to sit, when to pee and what to think. Then we turn 18 and even though we’ve never had an original thought, we have to make the most important decision of our lives and if you don’t have money and don’t really have the grades, a lot of desicions gets made for you.
Comp Het Struggles (aka Am I Bi/Pan or a Lesbian?) (3/3)
This is the third post in a three post series on Compulsive Heterosexuality.
lesbians who struggle with comp het and wlw who struggle coercive
heteronormativity often are confused on their identity. Because of this, it can
take wlw years to actually figure out who they are.
I have gathered some questions to ask yourself about your attraction in order to clarify between genuine attraction and comp het.
Do I actually like this man or do I just want him to like me?
If this man liked me would I be uncomfortable/ stop liking him?
Do I only have crushes on unattainable men?
Do I have an impossible list of traits a man must meet in order for me to find him attractive?
When a man has all those traits do I still look for an excuse not to like him?
Do I idealize relationships with men in theory, but the reality of relationships with them make me uncomfortable?
This is the second post in a three post series on Compulsory Heterosexuality.
before, comp het is a lesbian specific experience. Bi and pan people cannot
experience comp het as they are actually attracted to men.
experience comp het if you experience genuine attraction to men.
However, there is
a thing called coercive heteronormativity which all people attracted to the
same gender can experience. Coercive heteronormativity is the internalized idea
that m/f relationships are better, easier, or more desirable than f/f or m/m
heteronormativity is what pressures bi/pan women into choosing relationships
with men over women. This is not the same thing as comp het, and bi/pan wlw who
talk about experiencing comp het are referring to their experiences with
Why We Need Separate Terms
Many people don’t understand why we need to clarify between comp het and coercive heteronormativity. The reason is quite simple. We use these terms in order to identify our experiences in other people. A lesbian being socially pressured into faking attraction to men is a completely different experience that a bi/pan woman being pressured into prioritizing their attraction to men.
In Civil War, Peter barely knows anything about Star Wars but in Homecoming his room is covered in toys and legos and such. Only logical conclusion? Tony made part of Peter’s superhero training an education in the series. Totally sent him Blu-Rays and novels in the mail. Wookiepedia articles sent to his email address.
He totally got excited for each message thinking that it was a hint towards a new Avengers mission, but nope more Star Wars.