Why I'm not raw till 4 anymore
I was raw till 4 for almost exactly one year. I started off anorexic with binge eating disorder, so the idea of eating a ton and not gaining weight seemed amazing to me. I ended up gaining about 20 pounds within 4 months and it stayed on the entire time I followed this lifestyle. I didn’t care though because all my cravings were gone and I wasn’t stressing over food anymore. I felt like I had full control over what I ate. But as time went on, my digestion became faster and a 1000 cal banana meal would end up keeping me full for only two hours. I started to crave cooked savoury food for lunch. But I forced myself to stay strictly raw till four in fear of gaining weight or not healing my metabolic damage. I went to school everyday with a litre of juice or tons of bananas in my bag. I wasn’t enjoying it anymore but I was so scared of losing control over my eating habits or going back to my eating disorder that I forced myself to continue. All those YouTube videos where freelee said you can’t be successful as a vegan unless you’re smashing in the carbs, literally scared me into staying raw till four. No matter how much fruit I ate, I would still never be full and satisfied. I was doing everything right but it just didn’t feel right to me anymore. I was envious of my friends at school who didn’t have to plan their day around getting in enough carbs and avoiding fats. And then I finally realized that for me raw till four was just another way for me to control my eating habits. Although I was eating enough, and also eating really healthy food, mentally I was not doing so well. I realized I hadn’t fully overcame my eating disorder. And I wanted to be fully free from the stress that food had caused me. So I decided to delete my cron o meter account, stop counting calories and macros, and to just live and be vegan and eat healthy whole foods or whatever kind of vegan food I felt like! At first it was scary and stressful. I had to actively force myself to just eat what I felt like and what I knew would make me feel the best. It was hard at first to let go. But after about a week I became used to it. My energy levels stayed the same, my workout recovery stayed the same, my hair and nails kept their strength, my skin improved, my mental clarity became better, And my overall well being improved a ton. I also ended up losing some weight, without calorie restriction, calorie counting, or bullshit like that. I can now say that I am fully healed from my eating disorder. I am now free to do whatever the fuck I want to do with my life.no restrictions. No worries. And to anyone that is on raw till four or any diet that they aren’t fully enjoying, but are scared to leave your comfort zone, just do it. You’ll be so happy afterwards once it all turns out. And to anyone struggling with an eating disorder, don’t ever let anyone tell you it’s impossible to fully recover, or that you’ll never be the same afterwards.