Joyce, this is Hawkins, okay? You wanna know the worst thing that’s ever happened here in the four years I’ve been working here? Do you wanna know the worst thing? It was when an owl attacked Eleanor Gillespie’s head because it thought that her hair was a nest.
So this screenshot post came up on my dash yesterday and I just kefhkdswhak IT LOOKS LIKE THE COVER OF A CHEAP HARLEQUIN NOVEL and so I did a thing again. I couldn’t figure out how to reply with a picture in the original post, so I’ll just tag u guys: @thejohnlockhell and @spoko
shitty is a conspiracy theory junkie. it takes several years for him to befriend jack, since we all know a beautiful hockey player and model have to be aliens with an alien son who aRE CONTROLLING THE HOCKEY WORLD JUST LIKE THEY MADE THE PYRAMIDS AND ABDUCTED THAT ONE GUY IN NEW MEXICO YOU CAN’T HIDE THE TRUTH ZIMMERMANN