edit:ms

Não se condene pelo fracasso,
nem se acomode pelas desculpas
apenas observe e aprenda.
A vida tem seus erros e acertos
porque dela só temos uma;
estamos em construção
o tempo inteiro.
That time I walked out of class.

Today was a day. I woke up feeling great, excited to go to the 10:00 gentle practise at my studio.
I had a smoothie and coffee with my husband, he dropped me off, saying he’d pick me up in an hour and a half and we’d go for brunch. Perfect.
I went into the studio and immediately my vibe was off. I should have turned around and left but I was feeling committed. The studio was busy and loud, the opposite of normal. The teacher was someone I’d never had before. She didn’t make two seconds for me to let her know that because of spasticity, I might need help with adjustments (I waited to talk to her but she wasn’t into it and I felt insecure and went to set up my mat).
The room was full. People were loud. I couldn’t relax and get comfortable, but I stayed and started some deep breathing and tried to get my vibe together.
The teacher came in and started talking about herself and her back and that she’s so busy and barely had time to plan a class and what do you want to do today, etc etc etc - it was just chatter.
The class started. Her style had no flow, and her instructions weren’t clear. She didn’t give enough time to get into a pose before I felt like she was instructing us to move on to the next thing. She wasn’t paying attention to anyone in the class and didn’t offer guidance at any point. At one point I was getting so frustrated I was holding my breath, and she told us to get into some pose with no flow and I sat back into child’s pose to sort myself out… And I just thought - I don’t need to do this. I’m into this to feel good and strong. I’m not into this just to be here. I’ve been getting more out of YouTube videos. So I got up and left.
Am I crazy? When I go to a class I want instruction. I want guidance. I want my form to be corrected and noticed. If I didn’t, why would I pay for a class?
Anyways. I went for breakfast instead with a best friend and my husband (I love that my husband is also best friends with my best friends). Breakfast was great and I got in some really good belly laughs.
Now there’s a thunderstorm and I’m watching movies with Landon and the dogs, thinking about going to yin with a teacher I really like tonight.
Lesson learned, trust your vibes.

Every week I throw up a quote or a saying that comes to mind on this whiteboard that sits on my desk.

This week it happens to be “View everything as optional”. I have no clue where I came up with it (if I did) or if I saw it online or in a book sometime in the past.

But this has been in the back of my head for a long time.

When I say “view everything as optional” I am talking about your decisions, your life, everything around you.

Did you have to get that coffee? Buy that shirt? Go out with friends? Tell your friends you weren’t going out because of other pressing matters (like watching Daredevil all night like I did)?

I recently posted this on my other blog (that’s not on tumblr)

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