Your eyes are the prettiest shade of just fuck me up and your lips I want to kiss even though poison drips from your tongue and
I know you’re bad news but
with a jaw chiseled by Michaelangelo
I’m not sure that I’m ready to say goodbye.

My hands fit perfectly in yours and you callously hang on to what you think will make you feel right.
But no amount of conquered hearts
in your palms will make you feel less alone.

I can hear the echoes in your blood and see the etched tremor of love in your bones.

You loved once too and you loved her as I love you.
And when love is sucked out and dragged and beat, then it really does not work out.
I know it hurts to breathe and I know you don’t want to learn and you don’t want to see clear.
Not when she makes your palms sweat and your eyes heavy and your insides hammer.

And I understand. I understand the way you make me feel when you say my name or when you put your arm around me and I understand the warmth in my blood when I have you near and when I hear you speak and I know that I love you.

And I love you as much as you love her and I’m not ready to say goodbye so
I guess I’ll hold your hand tight as she rips apart your heart.

It seems you’re just as stubborn as I.

—  L.D//untitled//for the one I can’t stop writing about

Can I just point out that we, the becommissar fandom- took a character who had less than a half hour of screen time and brought her to life. We’ve named her (a few names), brought out a very strong personality of hers, created a genealogy and history of her, and have many many fan fictions written beautifully with her in it! We did that guys, there is so much creativity in this fandom.
Long Live Kommissar!

Longing (Arms, Chapter One)

Part Two // Part Three // Part Four

[This is the first of a Multi-Chapter fic that is my version of what happened between Beca and the Kommissar, enjoy!]

Beca could barely register anything that was going on, all she knew was that hot hands trailed scorching paths on her stomach and an equally scorching mouth was kissing her. the blonde that had her trapped against the wall only seemed to be as emotionless as ever, the only thing flashing through those blue stone eyes was lust. So that’s all Beca told herself it was.

She was already hardening her heart against this blonde, because she knew that if she didn’t she would get carried away and the Kommissar would simply leave her behind. In fact, the woman had told her this was just sex, and it couldn’t be anything more. So that’s all it was, sex. Good old fashioned emotionless sex.

Keep reading

i. There was no fire inside of him. His touch did not burn, it did not sting, he did not exhale smoke. He was more like water. He drowned me in his words and his presence engulfed me. It was like he was everywhere and nowhere all at once. I could hold and I could lose him in the same thought and I knew I needed him more than I wanted to admit.
ii. He was not the sun. He was the moon. I could stare at him with ease. He was light but not too bright. He liked to hide underneath fabricated layers and he liked it when I reached out and tried to unravel them, getting my fingers stuck in the fabric of his puzzles. He liked to murmur riddles in the middle of the night so that the stars would listen and fight to answer his call.
iii. He was not ravenous, chaotic. He was not a hurricane. He was a light drizzle on a Sunday morning. It did not hurt and it felt like home. But the dripping was endless and incessant and it made flesh sticky and it made hair drip and there was no cover.
iv. He carried himself with the wind. He moved too quick and played in the chambers of my heart, hid in the small crevices of my palms and then ran off again. He did not like restraint, he did not like chains and the tiny cells in his blood were restless with the rust of his withered heart. He was everywhere and he was nowhere and I stood in place, waiting for something I was never sure would ever be mine.
v. But then the rain ceased. The constant dripping and steady thumping, thump, thump, thump disappeared. He was gone and suddenly I could breathe. Oxygen filled my lungs and the water was gone. The tiny veins inside my palms were still blue but there was some red in the rainbow that sprouted underneath my feet.
vi. He was gone the way the moon silently slips away from the grasp of the sky as the night turns to day, he was gone the way the clouds gently sweep the horizon after a heavy day of rain. He was gone and in his trail, he left the Earth soaked to her core. He left her soil drenched and he left the air dense and she knew. She knew, she knew in her entrails that rain, that water, that storms are not forever and that not all of the elements belong together.
—  L.D.//Dirty Water//For The First Boy Who Broke My Heart
I’ll Take You There

Prompt: Beca thinks she doesn’t enjoy sex, because she never liked it with her previous partners. She tells Kommissar/Luisa this and she enjoys proving her wrong
A/N: At first I was really excited to do this, and then I was like, I can relate to this on so many levels, and then I was like, my body was not ready for this.
Smut, smut, smut warning, woops.

It wasn’t that Beca didn’t want Kommissar ravaging her body like a hungry animal; she had just figured that it would be like all the other times. Sloppy, wet kisses placed over her body, not-so-tender hands brushing against places that made her cringe. The brunette wasn’t saying she hadn’t ever been turned on, hadn’t ever wanted to have sex, but once it started, she just didn’t enjoy, hell she was sure that throughout her encounters she hadn’t once orgasmed.

The television caught the girl’s attention and she called into the other room. “Luisa, come on its starting!” The blonde entered the room, giving the smaller woman a nasty glare. Beca never called her that in public, the one time she had, Kommissar hadn’t spoken with her for a whole day. “Alright, alright, I’m here!” she exclaimed, sitting herself down on the couch. Beca threw her legs over the blonde’s and grabbed the bowl of popcorn from her setting it on her lap.

The German was getting bored with the American movie. Something called The Breakfast Club, a movie that had somehow gotten Beca to appreciate her love for music just a little more. The blonde woman shifted, turning her head and placing a soft kiss on Beca’s forehead. The brunette smiled up at her and placed a peck on her lips before pulling away and returning her attention to the movie. The older woman’s jaw tensed, but only ever so slightly. It frustrated her that, the small brunette was always willing to give, but never be on the receiving end of things.

The Kommissar wanted so very much to relish the woman’s figure, make her scream her name, writhe beneath her. The thought itself made the woman hunger for it. “Beca…” her voice was low, a hand reaching out to cup the brunette’s face. “What?” her voice was innocent, igniting something within the blonde. “Let me-“ she placed a hungry kiss on the girl’s lips, lust growing at an alarming rate “-fuck you.” The words sparked something in the small girl and she kissed back, lips pressing together with equal force.

Beca pushed the bowl of popcorn off her as Luisa pushed her onto her back, settling herself on top of the girl. Breaking their lips apart, Beca was already breathing hard and the blonde had to grin at that. Swift fingers were already working at the buttons on the brunette’s flannel, but she was stopped and grunted as small hands pushed her backwards. “You first,” the small girl insisted, getting slightly flustered, and breaking the contact. Luisa grabbed the girl’s wrists, looking hurt. “Why won’t you let me?” she asked her, concern slightly tinging her face.

The brunette huffed, sitting back against the arm of the couch. “Look, I just don’t think I like it that much, I like making you feel good, but that’s about it,” her voice was quick, and she watched as the German popped an eyebrow, waiting for a further explanation. “Okay, okay; it’s just never really felt that good. It’s sloppy and unexciting, and predictable,” she sighed, jutting her jaw out slightly, eyes avoiding the blonde’s face. “You mean to tell me, you have never…?” the German didn’t get to finish her sentence for Beca grunted and looked away, giving her an answer.

“Let me try, if you don’t like it, or want me to stop, you just need to say so, and I will,” she insisted, placing a soft hand on Beca’s arm. The touch sparked a fire on her skin, but she bit her lip, still unsure. Eventually she made up her mind, and figured that what Luisa was offering was fair enough. “Ok, yeah sure…” she whispered, but now things felt sort-of awkward. The older woman noticed and gestured her to come near her. “Let’s finish the movie though.”

They hadn’t quite gotten to the end of the movie before Luisa had started up again. Soft lips brushing up against the skin of Beca’s neck, leaving trails of hot kisses behind; the kind that didn’t feel like a dog had been slobbering all over her. The new feeling made the brunette close her eyes and moan quietly. Electricity sparked through her abdomen when feather light finger tips grazed over her stomach. This was definitely something she had never felt before. She was leaning back now, dragging Kommissar along with her. “Keep going,” she hissed, this time not stopping the nimble fingers that picked at the buttons on her flannel.

The younger girl arched her back off the couch when the older woman reached around underneath her and unclasped the bra she wearing. Beca bit back a moan as the woman’s hands reached up and cupped her breasts her mouth hungrily nipping at the skin on Beca’s hips. Running her hands down the brunette’s sides, she peppered kissed up her taught abdomen, making way towards her breasts. “Oh, God, yes,” the small woman breathed shakily, one nipple being taken into Luisa’s mouth the other being twirled between her lithe fingers.

She itched for more. Her hips arched off the couch, searching for more pressure, more friction, more anything. Luisa reacted almost instantly, pulling herself forward, grinding her hips into the smaller woman. A loud moan escaped the girl’s mouth; she didn’t want this to stop, ever. This feeling was something that she could get used too. Small hands raked through blonde locks, Luisa’s face in the crook of Beca’s neck, nipping at the soft skin, sure to leave marks. The blonde wasn’t done with the smaller woman’s torso, but the brunette was getting too heated too fast.

“Want me to slow down, ja?” she mumbled against Beca’s skin, her grinding hips coming to a halt. “Wha-? No, no keep going, God, go faster,” she practically whimpered, grabbing at the older woman’s shirt in a poor attempt at pulling it off. Luisa lifted herself off of Beca, and pulled her shirt over her head, her chest glistening with small beads of sweat. The sight of the blonde kneeling between her legs, sweaty, with unkempt hair, was almost too much to bear. The throbbing between her legs was something new too.

Hooking her fingers in the brunette’s waistband, she quickly pulled them down to her ankles, surprise taking over her face. “No underwear?” she smirked, tongue wetting her bottom lip before she bit it, lust filling her. Beca also bit her lip, both in nervousness and embarrassment; so far things had been far better than she imagined, but she definitely didn’t want it ruined; but the desire that burned deep in her core was pushing her to take this farther. “Well?” she breathed, her chest rising and falling fast. The German didn’t need to be asked twice.

Luisa’s hunger was practically animalistic; leaving bite marks up the girl’s thighs, but soothing them with gentle licks and kisses. One finger teased the entrance of the girl, her hips bucking at the contact.  “God, fucking, dammit, Jesus Christ,” she cursed, one hand clutching the back of the couch, the other the cushion underneath her. Long arms wrapped around the brunette’s thighs as Luisa scooched herself down the couch so that she was lying. Her face right in front of the brunette’s sex. It wouldn’t take long now. Beca’s breathing was labored, her face and chest flushed bright pink, a few more minutes and she would have the young woman screaming her name. One flick of her tongue over Beca’s clit had her inhaling sharply, and gripping at the couch for dear life.

A long lick up the woman’s slit nearly made Beca cry out, which cause Luisa to hum against the brunette’s nub. The blonde woman continued to perform, and slowly pushed two fingers into the woman’s core. It only to two or three thrusts, curling her fingers to hit that oh so sweet spot, until she felt the woman’s walls clench down and her thighs tighten around her head. “Oh, fuck, Luisa!” the tiny girl screamed, as she felt her body shattering into a thousand brilliant pieces.

The German didn’t stop, she couldn’t stop, and she herself was coming at the sounds that left the woman’s lips, the way her body tensed up around her. It wasn’t until Beca’s body started coming down from her high when Kommissar stopped her ministrations, and unraveled the small woman’s legs from around her. Beca turned onto her side, with Luisa crawling up behind her. “How was that?” she whispered into the brunette’s ear placing a soft kiss to her neck, where dark marks were starting to form.

“That… was amazing.”

Build A Bear

Wherein Beca and Luisa build bears to match each other’s personality. 

           Beca and Luisa were walking through the mall and visiting all their favorite stores to prepare for a trip to see Luisa’s family in Germany. It was mostly Beca heading towards Hot Topic while Luisa steered her towards Forever 21 and Charming Charlie.

           “What’s Build-A-Bear?” Luisa asked as they passed the store. Beca looked at Luisa with her jaw dropped. They walked like that for a few seconds before Lusia looked over at Beca. “What?” She asked.

           “Build-A-Bear is probably the best store ever! You get to, like, build a bear!” Beca said excitedly and Luisa just looked at her. They continue walking like that in silence until Beca threw herself in front of the blonde to stop her. She turned Luisa around and pushed her forward and when Luisa asked she just said, “We are building a bear.”


           “There are barely any bears here.” Luisa stated as they were looking among the skins you could choose. Beca just giggled and looked back at the array of skins in front of her. She picked up a camo bear while Luisa picked up a black lab. They held them up to show each other and shook their head with disapproval.

           “Well they have to have other things too.” Beca said and Luisa just sighed. “Oh!  Why don’t we do that thing where we make bears based on each other?”

           “That’s a thing?” Luisa asked surprised.

           “Yes of course! Here I’ll get this one for you!” Beca said as she picked up a black cat and Luisa shook her head. They continued searching, pulling up skins, only to have them shot down by each other. Luisa picked up a grey mouse that stood on two legs. Beca nodded as she picked up a moose that was on all fours but wasn’t that realistic.

           “That’s the one!” Luisa exclaimed, causing a few people to look. She placed her hands on Beca’s waist and leaned down for a quick kiss. Beca smiled and grabbed Luisa’s wrist to pull her towards the heart machine.

           “Okay so here you can choose the sound or record your own.” Beca explained and Luisa looked at her.

           “That’s dumb, I’m choosing a sound.” Luisa sighed.

           “No you are leaving because I’m recording!” Beca said and Luisa rolled her eyes as she walked away. Beca sat at the station and mentally punched herself because she could not think of anything to record. Suddenly, it hit her, she got quite a few looks from other customers in the store but it would be worth it.

           When Luisa’s turn to record came up she knew exactly what she was going to record. She disregarded her previous statement because this would be good. Her recording drew the attention of other customers, but not as much as Beca’s. They traded off hearts carefully so they didn’t accidently press them.

           They took their bears to the stuffing station where they had to wait for a group of girls to stuff their My Little Pony characters. Luisa got so irritated she almost left but Beca kept her entertained with little kisses.

           “This will be so worth it.” Beca whispered to Luisa as they stood embracing each other. Luisa just sighed and handed her mouse skin to the lady who was stuffing. When the lady told Luisa to step on the pedal she growled and Beca had to push her on. When she was done she handed over the heart and the lady stitched up the mouse. Then Beca went through the process.

           “What do we do now?” Luisa asked and Beca led her to the washing station, where she was reluctant at first but then enjoyed it. After that they headed to the fluffing station where Beca showed Luisa how to push the peddle for air and brush the bear.

           “Do we have to do outfits?” Luisa asked as they finished up at the washing station.

           “Do they have a black bra and leather pants I can choose?” Beca asked in reply.

           “Probably not.” Luisa stated and they moved on to the naming station. They named their bears Elch and Maus. After they payed they headed out of the store and the mall to their car.

           They pulled out their bears and squeezed at the same time. Luisa was shocked at first but then started to giggle at her moaning Maus. Beca’s Elch started to sing the thong song and she couldn’t help but smile.

           “I have to admit, you were right. I loved that.” Luisa smiled and Beca leaned forward to kiss her blonde partner.

Hope you enjoyed! Send me feedback!

I wanted to hold on to the person I thought you were
but the pavement cracks and breaks
and facades fall and
some masks are never put on properly
and they slip and unveil the mess beneath.

And it was through
your crooked fingers that I slipped,
reaching out to the ghost
of the person I hoped you were
and coming up empty
you were nothing but a reflection.

You don’t know who you are
and you don’t know what you want,
you don’t know how to speak
and you don’t know how to love.

But I did and I do.
And I loved you more than you know
and I cannot blame you
for letting me splinter
and crack against the pavement.

It’s not your fault I look for love in all the wrong places.

—  L.D//In All The Wrong Places//For The One I Still Miss

Prompt: Becommissar’s first Christmas???

Beca smiled as she watched Luisa decorating their Christmas tree. They moved in together shortly after they started dating when Luisa moved to the USA, and this was the first Christmas they would be spending together.

They had recently just got back from a short trip Germany, for an early present, Luisa bought Beca a plane ticket to go and visit the best German Christmas market in Cologne. Beca also got to meet Luisa’s family; they were very welcoming and accepting of the couple and they had an early ‘Weihnachten’ celebration with them where Beca learnt lots of German Christmas traditions.

When they got back to New York, they went to buy a Christmas tree and they picked a beautiful smelling Nordmann Fir. Luisa insisted on decorating the tree because it was a tradition in her family and she didn’t want Beca to drown the tree in tinsel and glittery baubles. It had to be perfect.

Luisa was humming along to a Christmas song that was playing on the radio and she carefully draped the lights over the branches. Beca couldn’t help but think how lucky she was to be blessed with the privilege of being Luisa’s girlfriend. Beca lived for these moments, when Luisa wasn’t the Kommissar – the scary but sexy leader of DSM – but her adorable, sweet, girlfriend, the massive a capella nerd and superhero movie lover. This is a side to Luisa that only very few people see.

“Do you want to put the star on top of the Tannenbaum?” Luisa asked.

Beca stood up from her seat, took the star out of the box and walked over the tree, which towered over her. She looked up the top of the tree knowing she had no chance of reaching all the way up there

“Too small tiny Maus?” Luisa teased Beca

“Yes” Beca muttered dejectedly

Without warning Luisa grabbed Beca by the tops of her thighs making Beca cry out and lifted her up. Beca managed to carefully put the star on the tree. Luisa slowly lowered beca and turned her body so they were facing each other, and Beca linked her arms around the taller girls neck.

“I love you” Beca said as she was getting lost in the Blonde’s sea-blue eyes

“I love you more”

The clock on the wall chimed, and twelve gongs rang out.

“Merry Christmas, Liebling”

“Fröhliche Weihnachten, Lu”

Luisa bent down to kiss Beca, and brushed her lips with the softest, most tender and loving kiss.

“Thank you” said the German

“For what? You kissed me” Beca laughed

“Nein, for everything, for just being you and for loving me. You’re the best present I could ever wish for, I am so unbelievably lucky to have you”

Becommissar [college au]

     The first time Beca sees Luisa, she’s at a camp that her friends dragged her to, saying that the she should be more communicative. She’s walking to the tents when she sees the other girl among a group of people next to the bonfire. Beca’s breath caches and she can’t tear her eyes away from the beautiful blonde for a few long seconds. Almost tripping over some roots sticking from the ground is what brings the girl back to reality. A few moments later she looks back, but she doesn’t see the girl again.

     The first time Luisa sees Beca, she’s glad that she decided to come to the library instead of studying at home on her laptop like she usually does. The girl looks engaged in whatever book she’s reading and Luisa smiles softly. She doesn’t know what is so alluring about the tiny girl she sees for the first time, but she feels the need to learn more about her. She’s thinking of the best way to approach the girl while going through the stands of books she came here for. But when she comes back to the tables the other girl is gone.

     A lot of time passes before they actually meet. But once they stumble into each other at one of the college parties, they don’t let go.

Take Me Home, 5/?

A/N: I live for cliffhangers.

Months had passed by, and Luisa and Pieter had been able to finally afford a small three bedroom house in a decent neighborhood in the city. Beca was invited to live with them even though she had insisted that she wasn’t contributing, and that she should get a job to help pay for the mortgage. The German’s convinced her though, that the only reason they were able to afford such a nice place, was Beca’s mixes and through Das Sound Machine rising in popularity.

The brunette had her own clothes, her own bed, her own home. She had been provided with a nice laptop and Beats audio headphones in return for creating mixes and allowing DSM to use them.

Most of the time Beca found herself alone, wandering the city, and managing to find herself back at the park where she used to sleep. It felt like forever ago; scrounging around for food, shivering herself to sleep; none of that happened anymore, but she still found herself lonely. Pieter working with DSM every day. Luisa working at her office job, and then going straight to practice.

The small woman had only ever seen them rehearse once and perform once. The girl let out a sigh as she slouched back against the bench, pulling the headphones over her ears. An eyebrow raised as she scribbled on a notepad, My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark, and All I Do Is Win. Two popular songs for the time being, and she thought heck, why not, stray away from the techno, machine like music, and throw some pop and alternative.

A body sitting down next to her made her jump, and she looked up only to see Luisa. “I figured you would be here,” the woman smirked, Beca pulling off her headphones. “It’s just a great place to think, so quiet, peaceful,” she replied, smiling up at the woman. Her heart raced, something new that had recently started. The woman made her warm, and fuzzy inside, her knees were weak, and.. Beca thought about her in the most inappropriate ways; but the girl kept quiet, she didn’t need to lose what she thought was a job and the roof over her head.

“I left work early, and you weren’t home. I was worried…” the last part of the German’s sentence was murmured, barely audible, but Beca had caught it. “Heh, yeah, no need to worry, I’m a big girl,” she stammered nervously, closing her laptop. “There is when I care about you mäuschen,” her voice was clear, stern, another tone that the brunette couldn’t quite decipher. This was when Beca got the most uncomfortable. People didn’t care about her, she wasn’t important. Hell, she lived on the streets half her life and almost starved to death a few times.

Running away was still the thing Beca was best at. “Y'know I should probably get home, I have to finish this new mix, and I didn’t bring my charger, I’ll, uh, see you later?” Her voice was hurried and she was shoving her things into her backpack. Luisa tried to stop her, slow her down, but the girl was already on her feet and scurrying off.

The German sat there, slightly baffled, but not quite as surprised as she thought she would have been. She expected the brunette to flee, she feared it, but it had happened, and all the woman could do was sit on the park bench and watch with sad blue eyes as she headed back to their home. The blonde had always had some sort of feelings for the younger woman, but ever since that first night she had stayed at their former apartment, her feelings had just gone wild. The woman wasn’t the best at showing her feelings, or even speaking them, but she was going to try at least. Most times she ended up just venting to Pieter, and even he had pushed her to tell the girl. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she got from the bench and walked in the direction of her house.

Beca was quick, she had thrown her things in her room, and she knew that she needed a shower. The one place where she could think, and not be bothered. Both her and Luisa shared a bathroom, and once again Pieter got his own. She turned the tap on and undressed herself throwing her clothes on the floor.

You got me so wild, how can I every deny…” sang the brunette, letting the hot water wash over her body.

Meanwhile, Luisa had pushed through the front door, and smelled food cooking. Pieter, she thought to herself. Beca didn’t know how to cook, and every time she tried it was inedible. The blonde made her way towards her bedroom, and heard a voice. “You got me so wild, why should I be so surprised? You got me so high, don’t you see it in my eyes?” Luisa didn’t want to read into anything, but she was sure that Beca was singing her feelings. She’d seen it before, but mostly sad songs; which usually ended up in the brunette crying and the blonde holding her until she fell asleep.

And you keep telling me, telling me that you’ll be sweet, and you’ll never want to leave my side, as long as I don’t break these…” the tiny woman’s voice rang, and the German’s heart skipping a beat. Her ear was resting on the door, and she sighed softly. It was rude to invade the girl’s privacy, so she backed away even though she didn’t want too. The blonde’s fingers curled into a fist as she walked to her bedroom and collapsed onto her bed.

Why were things suddenly getting complicated and frustrating? These past few months hadn’t been anything, but now, it just seemed like everything was falling apart. The German knew it could be worse, but it still felt like she had a lot of things going on regardless.

There was a soft knock on her door, and she lifted her head off of the bed to see the small woman standing in her doorway. Her brown hair was down, and soaked from the shower she had taken. Dressed in her typical ‘comfort’ clothes, of leggings and a cotton shirt. She was biting her lip, and Luisa could have eaten her alive, and was finding it hard not too; but she tore her eyes away from the brunette’s body, and cleared her throat a little.

“Can I come in?” her voice was timid, one hand grabbing her own arm. The blonde nodded, gesturing her in. Beca sat on the edge of the bed, where the German’s feet were hanging from. “I have a new mix for you guys,” she was avoiding the main topic. Beca didn’t look at Luisa, but the blonde propped herself up on her elbows. “Beca…” the blonde woman started, but she was cut off by the brunette.

“Ok, ok, I get it; there are things we need to talk about…” Beca threw her head back and let out a loud sigh. Green eyes wandered and found blue ones. “Where do I start?” her voice was almost a whisper, as fire shot through her body, the older woman’s hair a mess, and her clothes slightly disheveled. The brunette rolled over onto her stomach, face now inches away from Luisa; she felt relaxed, but unsettled at the same time.

The German leaned forward, lips right next to Beca’s ear. “Let’s start with this…” she murmured, then turning her head and pressing a soft kiss to the brunette’s lips.

She loved him. He swore he loved her back.
With trembling hands and quivering lips and hammered up insides,
she loved him whole.
With an iron chained heart and sweaty palms and fucked up thoughts,
He thought he loved her too.

She loved him even when she hated herself.
He did not know how to love, he couldn’t even love who he thought he was.
She loved him when he spoke,
words heavy and thick to take up space and
she loved him when he didn’t speak at all.
He loved to hear her laugh because then he felt less alone
And he loved it when her voice filled the empty spaces 
in his head because then he didn’t have to hear the bitter echoes.

She loved him in the dark and in the
empty rings of laughter.
He loved her when he held her close and he loved her when she
Scared away the ghosts.
She loved him even when he yelled,
when his words pierced the walls enclosing them and
when poison left his tongue.

she loved him whole.

When she began to crumble at his touch, he grew wary.
She began to crack in places he thought were china.
She began to howl and the walls surrounding them seeped
In sour pain
Because she was lonely too
And she was cracked in places she hid and
not nearly as strong as he wanted her to be
she was fragile and  

He could not
Would not

she loved him whole.

She loved him when he held the knife in his hand and
she loved him when he cut her open.
His shoulders grew heavy, the light in her eyes dim.
He couldn’t take care of her too.

Not when shrill cries of buried anger surfaced in the dark.
Not when he needed light and hers was running out.

She loved him when he tore her apart,  
Taking what he needed and leaving the rest behind
Because he did not know how to love,

He did not know how to care, how to mend
He did not know how hold her, how to love her
He needed her to love him, selfless and whole
Because he was too splintered to know
What love is.

She loved him when he chewed her and spit her out and when he buried
Her beneath him and what he thought he was and she
Still loved him whole,
Even when she was ripped apart.

—  L.D//And That Is The Difference Between You and I//For Rachel

Beca had to pull an all-nighter at the studio for a deadline. 10am the next morning she finally gets to go home, but she has to walk, and it started to snow sometime during the night. Beca comes outside only to be surprised by luisa, waiting outside of her warm Chevy Tahoe (yes kommissar drives a Tahoe).


~~~ The Becommissar Playlist ~~~

I have put together a list of songs that I think goes well for the ship. These songs are based on what I think represents them the best. If you have a song you think works for the ship, don’t be afraid to add it on. Enjoy~

• = New to the the list.

1. I found - Amber Run
2.Trouble - Halsey
3. Tear in my heart - Twenty one pilots
4. Chasing cars - Snow patrol
5. Colours - Halsey
6. Down by the river - Milky chance
7. Poison of wine - the civil wars
8. Is there somewhere - Halsey
9. Here’s to us - Halestorm
10. Beam me up - Pink
11. Piece of mind - the jezabels
12. All I want [Cover] - Ellie Goulding
13. We are broken - Paramore
14. I knew you were trouble - Taylor swift
15. Crazy in love [Cover] - Sofia Karlberg

•16. I think I’m in love - Kat Dahlia
Becommissar prompt

after a few months of dating beca and kommissar start to subconsciously do things that the other normally does like mannerisms or just speech patterns like beca will be talking to one of her friends and she’ll say “ja” without even realizing it or like kommissar will do/say something thats so AMERICAN and pieter will be slightly annoyed/amused by it hell i dont know BUT I NEED SOMEONE TO WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS