“And All… I need is a beauty and a beat that can make my life complete! It’s all, bout you when the-”
My ringtone blares from my side of the bed and I reach for it aimlessly hoping that it won’t wake up Justin.
“Hello?” I” answer groggily my voice cracking at the end of my question,
“Hey baby girl,” Justin’s perky voice answers on the other line I turn around to find his side of the bed empty. I place a hand to his side and realize it’s quite cold too. He’s been gone for awhile.
“Hey babe, where are you?” I ask with a quiet yawn trying to keep my eyes open for this conversation.
“ I went for a jog with Alfredo I was going to ask you to join us but you looked so cute sleeping that I couldn’t do it” I smile and wake up a little more
“What time is the run through for your video?” I hear Fredo saying something in the back but it’s too muffled for me to make out the words.
“4:30, what about your shoot?” He asks and I can tell that he’s started to run a bit faster.
“9 Am on the mark,” I say checking the clock on my phone before my eyes widen.
“Jay,” I say patiently he pants a bit before answering
“yeah Nonnie?” He answers and for a moment I swear i hear something downstairs. It’s probably Belinda his housekeeper.
“It’s 5 Am! Why are you running so early and how the fuck did you wake up Fredo?” Before i can get an answer two all male bodies are in the bed one holds me in A tight embrace while the other tickles me mercilessly.
“What. The. Fuck!” I struggle to grit my teeth between bouts of laughter as Fredo’s hands tickle my abdomen and Justin holds me in place with a loud laugh. Fredo stops tickling me long enough for me to catch a breath,
“why?” I groan slapping away the boys
“good morning mami!” Fredo booms hopping off the bed before throwing open the curtains to Justin’s room.
“I hate you,” I murmur hiding my face in Justin’s chest
“I brought donuts senorita” I pause…
“Are there any other kind? Now get up I’ll make some coffee in that kitchen you two never touch” and with that Fredo walks out of Justin’s room closing the door behind him.
“Cameras will be here at around 7 that’s why I got up so early I just wanted a bit more time with you to myself,” I kiss his lips and take off the trucker hat that holds his messy hair.
“You’re wearing my shirt” he notes playing with them hem and lifting it a bit to show off a pair of his Calvin Klein briefs.
“and my underwear” he says with gasp and I giggle.
“Let’s go downstairs baby” he whispers placing a kiss on my cheek he pulls me along with him but I stay on the bed he gives me a look of confusion
“I’m nipping it up hardcore” I say and it’s the truth because it’s cold as hell in his bedroom and being so close to him this morning didn’t help any.
“W-what?” Justin stutters choking on a laugh and I throw a pillow at his stupid blonde head,
“this isn’t a joke okay? It’s like female morning wood” he gives me a serious face,
“well that’s no fun is it? Here, let me help you Nonnie” Justin pushes me back onto the bed and hovers over me precariously before ripping away his shirt from my body
“Just-” he covers my protesting mouth with a tongue filled kiss and I relax against the mattress. He massages my sides before palming my breasts in his large, calloused hands
“Justin…” I moan arching into his touch and he begins to massage and roll my nipples between his fingers until they are soft instead of the hardened pebbles they were before.
“Better?” he whispers before leaning in to kiss me again I nod and he adds a bit more pressure,
“mmm, what flavor of doughnuts did you get?” I moan and he bursts into peals of laughter.
“Babe, my hands are all up on your chest…. and you’re thinking of some donuts?” I arch into his hands again as he squeezes my boobs,
“I’m starving no joke, but this is nice” I say lazily before he removes his hands to wrap them around my waist, pulling me into a big, warm hug. The door opens but Justin doesn’t notice
“and… she’s naked.” Fredo says Justin shields my naked torso with his body
“only half” Justin argues and I hide my smile in his chest
“well hurry up your coffee’s getting cold” then he leaves.
I get dressed in a simple Nike sweatsuit because once I got to the photoshoot they’d change me anyway. Fredo Justin and I munched on donuts and talked for a good two hours before the cameramen showed up at the door. Right before they called action Justin gave me the kiss of a lifetime leaving my cheeks rosy and red for the world to see.
“I can watch your shoot until it’s time for me to leave then you can catch a ride back with Kylie she’s in it too yeah?” I nod and stare at a little girl next to us in traffic our window is cracked just enough and I can hear Justin’s album blaring from her car
“Jay,” he turns to look at me and I point out the window
“Jay listen,” he listens and smiles before rolling down my window I wave at the girl’s mom to get her attention and her jaw drops then I lean back and Justin leans over me as far as he can to wave at the little girl who screams, laughs, then cries
“I love you!” He yells she waves and blows both of us kisses before traffic picks up again. I know that he didn’t just do that because there’s a camera in the car. He was just that genuine of a guy and maybe this show would help people see that.
“I love kids Nonnie I wanna have like five!” He says excitedly and I only nod and kiss his cheek. Justin has always been vocal about his want for a big family and I’ve always placated him with a smile and a laugh but it seemed that today that really wouldn’t be enough.
“How many kids do you want anyway?” He wonders aloud gripping my hand in his I stare out of my window and become acutely aware of the cameras documenting this exchange.
“I’m not sure… maybe more than one?” He puts his lips to my hand and smiles at me I return the grin but deep down I can’t help but cringe at the secret I’m keeping from him. He drops the topic as we pull into the studio parking lot, Kylie is waiting for me by the door and it looks like Gigi, Kendall, and Cara decided to tag along.
“Hey babes!” I yell as I hop out of the car and run over to the girls who each take me in their arms for a big hug, Cara kisses me on both cheeks and I smile pointing at my ‘CAKE’ shirt, she slaps me on the ass and laughs. I’ve missed her.
“Hair and makeup is ready for us doll face,” she looks at an approaching Justin as we walk inside she points to the seating area
“girls only Bizzle sorry!” Justin flips her off and takes a seat on a couch. Kylie and I are both seated in makeup chairs as stylists zoom around us with hairspray and makeup.
“ You seem tense Rhi what’s going on?” I take a deep breath and decide that now is as good a time as any to let the world…and eventually Justin know about my secret. It’s a bit comforting that the girls already know.
“Um, yeah it’s just Justin mentioned a family again, you know, kids” the girls look at me with expectant eyes and I close mine because my stylist holds a brush to my face,
“have you not told him about your childhood?” Kylie wonders
“it’s never really come up you know? I mean yes he knows I’m adopted but I haven’t gone further into that”
“do you want to tell him?” I feel my eyes burn with tears and I curse silently because the makeup artist has already started to apply my foundation.
“I want too… I need to tell him that I was abused in the foster system and that has shaken my view of family considerably” the girls all nod and Kylie reaches for my hand and I continue because it feels really good to get this off my chest.
“The media is always wondering about my past and I try my hardest to make sure none of it slips out but I think letting people know will help with making people aware of what goes on in foster homes and families”
“And you aren’t talking about all foster homes and families right?” Cara asks to clarify and I nod in agreement
“yeah some are the greatest and it sucks that they get a bad rep just because of the ones who are shitty.”
“Babe Justin isn’t going to judge you know that right?” Of course I knew that.
“Besides you guys Justin is my family I guess I was afraid of scaring him away? It sounds so stupid out loud oh my god” Kendall wraps her arms around my shoulders and looks at me in the mirror
“did we treat you any differently when you told us?” I frown and shake my head
“that boy loves you so much that it makes us all sick” I give a watery laugh at Gigi’s comment and raise my arms
“hug?” My stylist steps back politely and they all smother me in a hug, even Kylie who’s stylist is holding a curling iron dangerously close to her face. The shoot is going great it’s for Teen Vogue and the theme is all black everything.
“Stop snapping pictures of Rhiannon’s ass Justin!” Gigi yells from their place behind the cameras I burst out into a laugh and Kylie joins me, the cameras capture the candid moment and I can’t wait to see it.
Justin has to leave at around three and before he goes I run up to him and give him a huge hug
“what’s the matter princess?” He asks his brown eyes full of concern I only hug him tighter and he mimics the action before pulling back,
“babe what’s going on?” He asks and I take a deep breath,
“just… stop by my place tonight okay? I’ve got shit to tell you” he raises an eyebrow and for a minute I think I see his eyes glisten
“are you… are you going to break up with me?” I slap him as hard as I can on his chest.
“You idiot! No i’m not breaking up with you I love you!”
“I love you too but you’re scaring me” exactly what I was trying to avoid…
“ Everything is gonna be fine Jay” I say quietly and he presses a light kiss to my nose
“promise?” I nod and kiss his lips
“promise.” He then leaves and I turn back to my girlfriends with a nervous smile
“‘I’m going to tell him tonight.” I’m welcomed into yet another group hug. I love my family.
I love jelena, I wish jelena were still together but if they don’t want too, that’s ok. I want both Justin and Selena to be happy and if it’s not with other, so be it. They’ll find someone else sooner or later or even maybe get back together in the future. We can’t push them to be together if they don’t want too. All we know is that they’ll always care and love each other.
“I could just feel people’s energy and also I didn’t really care either. I could give two shit if someone liked me or not. And that’s where things went bad because I got so involved in me, me, me. Sometimes like man I don’t want to do this anymore ‘cause once it starts it doesn’t stop for me. Just because I feel like I forgot my purpose for awhile so now I feel like I found my purpose. And I just want to bring that hope to people and that light to say, ‘hey, you might’ve lost your purpose or maybe you’re searching for your purpose but purpose is so important.’ And i just want people to see that there is hope and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. The best is yet to come ahead of you and not to dwell in the spot you’re in. And know that hey if Justin did it, than i can do it.”