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To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Joss Whedon’s vision for Justice League. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of boob humor, most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Batman’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from DC comics, for instance.

The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Joss Whedon’s Justice League truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Clark’s existential catchphrase “Do you bleed?” which itself is a cryptic reference to Batman V. Superman. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Joss Whedon’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Marvel tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid.

Justice League Reactions (No Spoilers)

Barry Allen/Flash says anything:

Aquaman/Arthur being badass (aka existing):

Bruce badmouths THE Steve Trevor:

Diana does literally anything on screen:

Any time Aquaman and Diana are being badass in a scene together:

MAJOR JUSTICE LEAGUE SPOILERS

Alright y’all so I finally saw Justice League tonight, and I have some feelings. For those of you who have seen my posts before, you know of my deep love for the DCEU and Zack. Before I begin with anything though, I would like to say this: I was greatly entertained by the film and found myself enjoying most of it. I do see the faults, more flaws than I saw in any of the other DCEU films (including Suicide Squad). That being said, I did have fun. 

Now, I would like to start with what I enjoyed about the movie. There were many things I did love about it. So let’s start.

First and foremost, I have to give a huge fucking round of applause to Ezra Miller’s portrayal of the Flash. To me, the Flash is all about fun and joy and finding the good in everything. While we get to see glimpses of Barry’s tragic past, we see what the Flash stands for. We see him being goofy but fun and cracking jokes. He adds to the League.

I loved what character arc Batman had. I thought Bruce evolved and really showed that he had grown beyond Batman vs. Superman and was trying to redeem himself. If Justice League is about anything, to me, it’s about redemption.

Wonder Woman. Diana is so much more developed. And her line of working with children was funny and a nice touch, at least to me. She gave us this wonderful balance of humor, love, kindness, and mom.

I really, really liked that Lois and Martha were included in this film. I do wish they had been in the film more and that Amy hadn’t had to wear such a terrible wig. But the pieces they had in the movie were great. And I do love that Bruce called Lois the big guns.

One of my most favorite parts of the film was Jason. I think he made Aquaman his own and gave life to a character that everyone thinks is lame. That scene where he was sitting on Diana’s lasso was the funniest part of the movie, to me. I think his interaction with Mera was amazing, and I cannot wait to see what his own movie has in store.

By far and away, my favorite part of this movie was Cyborg. I grew up on Teen Titans. There were many characters I loved from that series, but Cyborg has always been my all-time favorite (even higher than Superman and for those of you who know me, you know that means a lot). Cyborg is everything I had hoped he would be. He is… the perfect combination of tortured and well, Teen Titans’ Cyborg. Plus that “boo yeah” line gave me fucking life. I loved when Cyborg did that in the series.

Which brings me to this next thing. I love that the other three League members had their stories fleshed out in a perfect amount. We got to see a touch of their backgrounds, however tragic there are, and made me want solos for each of them. Crave, the Aquaman movie. I believe that’s all on Zack.

Finally, one of my favorite things about this movie was the opening scenes. You could tell that was Zack. You could sense that cinematography that makes Zack so amazing. The credits scene in particular is what made me feel like it was Synder’s film.

Now with all that said, I need to point out what I felt was lacking. I had been staying as far away as possible from spoilers as I could. But still, I saw how disappointed many fans were. And I understand now. As much as I enjoyed this film, it didn’t feel wholly like Zack’s.

My biggest problem with this film is that Superman was (I hate this phrase) not my Superman. It wasn’t the Henry Superman I had come to know from the two previous films. It wasn’t Zack’s Superman. This version was the version everyone wanted. He was the funny man. It wasn’t what Superman really was. See, Superman represents hope which is what the opening scene tries to show. Superman is a man who makes mistakes. He’s not perfect, and the Superman we have come to know and love wouldn’t have made those quips. And don’t even get me started on them taking out and FUCKING CHANGING THE GOD DAMN CORNFIELD SCENE! ARE YOU SHITTING ME JOSS?

Superman tangent aside, I hated that I could tell where Joss came in. Zack takes care with his actors. I felt like we had a lot of female butt and boobs shots, shots we wouldn’t normally see in a Synder film. Usually, we get the opposite. We get to enjoy the shirtless men (Can we talk about Henry’s shirtless body?). And I could tell. It felt like only 60-70% of the film was Zack. 

This is the part that irritates me the most: I felt like in the main battle scene I was re-watching the Avengers. Long before I ditched M*rvel, I was a huge Avengers fan. And almost everything about the battle scene reminded me eerily of that battle scene from Avengers. The worst part was I knew Zack would have put in more of his cinematography, his touch. It felt like that was all Whedon.

I also hated that it felt like a Batman movie. That’s all the DC universe focuses on is Batman. Look, we know Batman and I’m excited for films for him, but Zack created the DCEU first with Superman. SUPERMAN is the core, which is why the Justice League doesn’t really work without him. Superman is the one we trust. He gives us hope. 

I’m writer. When I read books or see movies, I judge and critic everything based on whether or not it makes me feel like it’s in my world. If a book or movie doesn’t not allow me to feel engaged (I do suspend some belief for superhero and science fiction movies), I don’t feel like I come away truly enjoying the movie. 

The point of that statement is that in Zack’s previous movies, I felt like the superheroes were truly a part of my world. The opening scene, the one with the credits, that made me feel like it was real world. It was beautiful and tragic, but they took that away in the rest of the films. They moved away from civilian causalities, they moved away from the military, they moved away from realness, and as much as I liked the film, it felt so different from the others.

I’m just as disappointed as my fellow DCEU fans. I get it. And while I had great enjoyment from the film (and will add it to my ever-growing collection of DC movies), I do wish that Warner Brothers had just taken the loss and pushed back the release. I wish that had given Zack the time to mourn, to step back, and to come back to a movie he loved. I wish that we could have been more patient so that we could have received the movie we needed, deserved, and expected.

It’s hard for me to critic a film I enjoyed a great deal, but I’m aware of its faults. And just like every other DCEU film (excluding WW), people are going to hate it. They are going to praise Joss and not Zack. Zack deserves the credit. And when he is good and ready, know that we are waiting for your cut. 

Zack, our fandom owes you a lot. We appreciate you, and we understand why you needed to step down and away from this movie. We do not hate you for that; we never will. Life happens, and family always comes before movies or fans or work. Until you are ready to come back, know that you are in my thoughts and I am sending the best of vibes to your family. 

Justice League, while an entertaining movie, didn’t give me what I fully wanted. Did I enjoy it? The parts that didn’t scream Joss, the shirtless Henry, the Cyborg, Aquaman, and Flash scenes. But, I expected more. And maybe that’s my fault knowing Whedon had come on. 

What more can I say? Higher hopes weren’t achieved, but in the next films, I know Synder’s original vision will come back. And Warner Brothers, I do hope you remember what his vision is all about. It’s Superman-centric. Superman– hope.

Well it’s certainly an interesting lesson in just how crucial the editing process is not to mention how drastically a score can change a film’s tone. And I mean what other fans care so much about a film’s music? Mos and bvs made us smarter filmgoers for sure i mean the cat’s outta the bag i can’t go back to just accepting mediocrity, at least not with these characters

Bruce “I bought the bank” Wayne

Diana “I’m working with children” Prince

Clark “I take it back. I want to die” Kent

Barry “ I stopped listening when he said we are all going to die” Allen

Victor “ Keep the littlemerman away while I work” Stone

Arthur “ You are all tripping over yourselves” Curry

Lois “Big Guns” Lane

Alfred “ Send a letter to Paris that says «Do you want to be Bruce’s teammate. Cross yes or no” Pennyworth