edit:barca

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Lionel Messi, Forward/Attacking Midfielder, often considered the best player in the world and rated by many in the sport as the greatest of all time, Messi is the only player in history to win five FIFA Ballon d'Or awards, four of which he won consecutively, and the first to win three European Golden Shoes. With Barcelona he has won eight La Liga titles, four UEFA Champions League titles, and four Copas del Rey, among other trophies. Both a prolific goalscorer and a creative playmaker, Messi holds the records for most goals scored in La Liga, a La Liga season (50), and a club football season in Europe, a calendar year (91), as well as those for most assists made in La Liga and the Copa América. He has scored over 500 senior career goals for club and country.

JUVENTUS vs BARCELONA

how this is all going to play out…

Dybala and Neymar drop everything in the middle of the first half and break out in a bitch fight over who loves Lio more.

Chiellini, Bonucci and Mascherano will get into some bald headed mafia fight club. One of them will die (probably Chiellini see below)

Messi will bring back the little mascots on the pitch and use them to build a wall try to score a wonder free kick

Gigi will end up angrily chasing Rugani around the pitch with a pasta fork while blaming him for why the defence isn’t doing it’s job.  

Allegri will be pacing running like a mad man up and down the pitch screaming his head off telling the boys to get their shit together or he and his mafia people will end all of them

Lucho will be sitting there a little clueless before finding the comical side in it all and breaking out into endless bouts of laughter.

Suarez ends up chasing Chiellini with drool over his face, whining about not finishing that meal from the last world cup.

The sounds of commotion and rattling actually sounds like some hardcore rock music to Juan and he’ll start happy dancing in the middle of the pitch

Pipa finds this is opportunity while everyone’s fighting and arguing to run clear on goal but still fucks it up

Dani Alves becomes the official commentator but the only thing you hear the whole time is ‘crazy good in tha house’

Pique’s complaining about fuck knows to anyone and everyone who gives him an ear to listen

Mandzukic is standing their expressionless and mumbling “no good” every now and then