In the name of The House, The Stage and The Backstage, Amen.
1.Give not unto the actor his props before his time, for assuredly as the sun does rise in the East and sets in the West, he will lose or break them.
2. When told the placement of props by the Director, write not these things in ink upon thy script for as surely as the winds blow, so shall he change his mind.
3. Speak not in large words to actors, for they are slow of thought and are easily confused.
4. Speak not in the language of the TECHIE to actors, for they are uninitiated, and will not perceive thy meaning.
5. Tap not the head of a nail to drive it, but strike it firmly with thy strength.
6. Keep holy the first performance, for afterwards you shall party.
7. Keep holy the last performance, for afterwards you shall party.
8. Remember always that the TD is never wrong. If it appears that he is, then you obviously misunderstood him for the first time.
9. Leave not the area of the stage during the play to go and talk with the actors, for as surely as you do, you will be in danger of missing your cue and being summarily executed or worse.
10. Beware of actors when flying in walls, for they will stand and watch and be crushed.
11. Beware of actors during scene changes, for they are not like unto you and are blind in the dark.
12. Take not they cues before their time, but wait for the proper moment to do so.
13. Take pity on the actors, for in their roles they are as children, and must be led with gentle kindness. Thus, endeavor to speak softly and not in anger.
14. Listen carefully to the instructions of the Director as to how he wants things done– then do it the right way. In the days of thy work, he will see thy wisdom, give himself the credit, and rejoice.
15. If it is not yours, do not touch it, for surely as you do, your hand will be severed.
16. If you break it, you shall buy it.
17. It is not the question, What if something goes wrong? but, What will go wrong?
18. The question, Why do we have to sing? when doing a musical, should never be asked.
19. Do not miss your cue, for as you do, your world will crash down upon your head.
20. The only valid excuse for missing one’s cue is death.
21. Do not overestimate the audience.
22. Do not underestimate the audience.
23. Always write down your blocking notes, for if you do not, the stage manager shall punish you.
24. One must always check their props, for if thou do not, they will mysteriously disappear.
25. To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, to be late is to be replaced.
26. And above all, get carried away not with the glow-tape or thy stage will be like unto an airport