O problema é que, quando o assunto é amor, há sempre um pouco de covardia. Ninguém quer se arriscar demais. Porque é meio que uma aposta, né? Você passa anos ao lado de alguém, fazendo planos, contando segredos, dividindo o lado cama e, de repente, fim. Em um passe de mágica, a pessoa que conhece o seu lado mais feio, não está sequer mais ao seu lado. Talvez, amor seja isso; o encontro de duas pessoas com vergonha de parecerem covardes aos olhos da vida.
Joshua sits in front of his camera. An outlet to share his music to the world has evolved into so much more. His viewers turned into fans, and his fans loved beyond the guitar and the voice. They wanted to know more about Joshua the person, not just Joshua the singer.
So how could Joshua talk about himself without mentioning you? He couldn’t do that. Even with the guys, your name is brought up every two sentences.
However, being the sweet person that Joshua is, he never really said your name on camera out of consideration for your privacy. Of course, he flaunts the fact that his girlfriend was the most amazing person on earth, and he gushes about how much he loves you in vlogs. He’d also dedicate every song that reminded him of you, which is a lot, every chance he gets. Naturally, when you watch his videos a big happy smile would beautifully grace your face.
“Hi, it’s Joshua! We have a very special guest today!” Joshua announces in front of his camera. You giggle quietly in your spot out of the frame.
“Drum roll please!” Joshua exclaims excitedly, patting his lap. He pulled you into the frame, his arms were wrapped around your shoulder as yours were wrapped around his waist.
You managed to wave to the camera and squeak out a cute hi while you and Joshua laugh happily, simply enjoying each others company.
“So, this is the person that I have been telling you guys about. AKA the person that I’m completely in love with, y/n.” Joshua’s words rang inside the shaken corridors of your heart.
“Hi, guys! I’m Y/N! It’s nice to finally meet you all.” You say with a bright smile.
Joshua holds up his phone, and explains, “So today, my lovely ray of sunshine has taken a break from their busy schedule to answer questions you guys have left us on my twitter, Instagram, and snapchat!”
Joshua’s right hand was holding his phone, as his left was holding your hand.
“When did you two first meet?” Joshua reads from the phone.
“It was in elementary school right?” You recall back the memory.
Joshua laughs out loud. “Oh yeahhh! You stole my juice box, and then told me my haircut looked stupid.” He playfully nudged your shoulder with his.
“Hey, all great friendships start out that way!” You giggle.
He humorously scrunched his face up at your statement. “No you were a bully.”
“Only because you were so adorable when you got mad at me. Even now.” You messily ruffled his hair causing him to roll his eyes and try to get his perfect hair back into place.
“Wait, did you guys hear that? Y/N thinks I’m adorable.” Joshua lowly chuckles with a proud expression on his face.
“Okay, okay next question, you weirdo.” You laugh, taking his phone to scroll down the twitter feed.
Joshua points to the screen at one question that has caught his eyes. “Has Joshua ever serenaded you?”
“Yes, actually.” You smile at the sweet memories of him singing to you. “No matter how late it is at night, or how tired he is, if I’m having trouble sleeping he’d always sing me to sleep. Or if I’m sad, he’d sing something to cheer up. All in all, Joshua is always singing to me. So thank you, babe.” You top your answer off with a kiss on Joshua’s smiling lips.
“Oh this is a good one!” You point at a question.
Joshua reads it out loud. “When did you start realizing that you were catching feelings, when did you tell the boys and how did they react?”
“I’m assuming that one is for me.” Joshua chuckles at the camera, a hint of blush starts to show on his cheeks.
“I’ve always seen you as a friend up until freshman year. That was when you told me you had a crush on one of our classmates, but I didn’t know why I was so bothered by it.” Joshua explains.
“Because of how strangely I was feeling, I talked to Vernon about it and he was actually the one that helped me come to terms with my feelings.”
“Wait,” You pause him. “You’ve liked me since freshman year?”
Joshua nods shyly. “Yeah, I did. But I decided not to tell you until last year because I was just scared of how you would react.”
That was something you never knew. It was senior year now, the last year of high school for the both of you. So, you’ve realized Joshua has loved you for quite some time now.
“Vernon was especially annoyed with me during that time because I’ve always talked about you, but I never had the confidence to ask you out.” Joshua says sweetly with a peck on your cheek, causing you to blush and to tease him about his little crush on you at that time.
“Ooh! I found the perfect follow up question.” You excitedly start to read, “How did Joshua ask you out?”
Joshua groans out in embarrassment while you laugh at his expense. “You’re never going to let that go, huh?”
“Nope!” You grin.
He rolled his eyes but nonetheless he continued on telling the story. “I took her out to our favorite spot to hang out which is this little dock on the lake. I was so nervous and out of it, then why you told me that you would go on a date with me I was so happy that I started to jump. Then, I fell off the dock and into the lake.”
You couldn’t stop giggling at the image of wet Joshua doggy paddling at the surface of the water.
“Okay okay, let’s move on.” Joshua says as he attempts to control your laughter by rubbing your back.
“What is it like to date me?” Joshua asks.
“Hm..” You smile. “It’s like I’m dating my best friend. But don’t tell Vernon I said that, because he’s gonna argue with me that he’s your only best friend.”
“Who cares about Vernon?” Joshua jokes. “You are my best friend.” Joshua pulls you in for a hug as a means to leave sloppy kisses on your face. Joshua pauses to look at the camera. “Just kidding man, I love you, you’re my best friend too, Vernon.”
The next fifteen minutes, you and your boyfriend answered questions about your relationship and each other. Some were funny, and some led you to find out things about Joshua that you never knew before.
“Ok, last question. Do you love me?” You asked, slightly tilting your head amusedly.
Joshua diverted his attention from his phone to your eyes. A smile spread across your lips, transferred to your cheeks and reached your eyes.
“I’ve loved you ever since you stole my juice box, and I’ve been and will continue to love you as hard as any human possibly can love.” Joshua places a kiss upon your forehead, and you could feel the truth behind his words.
(A/N: heh self promo (like in admin cali’s), the fanfic mentioned can be found here)
“So…tell me again, why are you dating that imbecile?” Soonyoung glances at you as you both walk down the sidewalk, ice cream cone in hand.
You roll your eyes at his question, taking a lick of your vanilla soft serve. “We’re just going on dates, we’re not actually dating.”
Soonyoung raises both of his eyebrows in an expression that implies how ridiculous what you just said sounds. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.”
“Anyway, how’s the youtube thing going?” You ask, as you take the last few bites of your cone.
“Well it’s,” Soonyoung stopped talking. His eyes turned wide in amazement at your demolished ice cream. “Holy crap, Y/N. You finished that in like two minutes.” You shrugged, what can you say, you love food.
“Anyway, it’s going good. Did I tell you that Jun found a fan fiction of us and the other boys on the internet the other day?”
You laughed slightly. “No way! You guys are already that famous? Wow, what website was it on?”
Soonyoung stopped to recall the website that Jun had mentioned. “Oh! Tumblr or something like that, it was really detailed. It was kinda accurate to how the guys and I act too… so that was a bit scary.”
You found the idea of someone writing intricate fantasies about your friends to be hilarious. Then again, you weren’t surprised either since they were talented, funny, genuine, and not bad looking boys. Especially Soonyoung, his dancing always made your heart melt.
“Hey, Y/N.” Soonyoung softly said your name which interrupted your train of thought. “Seriously though, why do you like that sleaze? You know that there are better people out there, people who are considerate and nice and sweet. I don’t know if I’m just being protective or if your taste in people is just plain bad.”
You sighed. You know Soonyoung only wants the best for you but the more he is like this to you, the more you keep falling for him. He should’ve known that you had feelings for him.
You had given him so many hints, and have come so close to confessing so many times. Did he not feel the emotions that radiated off of you? Soonyoung good at reading how you feel, and he always noticed if you had something on your mind. It frustrated you that he couldn’t figure this out.
“Why does it matter to you? I’m going out on dates with him because he likes me back.” You lash out at Soonyoung. You didn’t mean to but you just had to say it. Soonyoung wore a shocked expression on his face, clearly taken back.
“Okay, well I’m going inside. Are you okay?” Soonyoung nodded towards his house. You were so enveloped in your own thoughts that you didn’t realize you both made it home already. You tried to calmly nod and made your way to your own house which mirrored his.
Soonyoung ran up his stairs to his bedroom, the second he sees his chair he plops his body down onto it.
He enters the Skype group chat with all of his friends, the ones that are on at least. The image of three other boys pop up onto his computer monitor.
“Guys! I have an emergency.” Soonyoung announces.
Woozi groans and rolls his eyes as he fiddles with his guitar. “What is it now?”
“Girl problems?” Jun asks.
“Yeah, er, how did you know?” Soonyoung asks.
Jun smirks and shrugs. “I just know.”
“Hyung, what’s your problem?” Dino, the youngest of the group, asks.
Soonyoung explains his dilemma. He wants you to stop dating, not only because he has feelings for you but also because he knows you deserve better. He’s been trying to drop hints, and he’s been saying a few things here and there hoping that you would catch what he’s trying to do. But to his avail, nothing.
“Y/N likes you.” Woozi says with a monotone voice like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, unbothered by the situation and solely focuses on his guitar.
A ridiculously confused expression adorns Jun in almost a comical matter. “Wait, wait. Don’t go making any assumptions, what makes you say that?”
“Well, Y/N has been doing the exact same thing to Soonyoung. But the only reason why he hasn’t noticed is because he’s all up in his own head.”
“Ohhh…” Dino, Jun, and Soonyoung all say in unison. It all makes sense, and is now clicking into place.
“Wah, Woozi hyung is the best.” Dino says astonished.
Soonyoung ruffles his hair then places his chin on his hand. “What do I do now, Woozi?”
“Hey, I’m here too. You can ask me for help too.” Jun chimes in. The Skype call is silent for a fat second.
“Anyway, Woozi, what do I do?” Soonyoung asks again.
“You talk to her in the way you know best. Through dance.”
Things like school, girls, and cooking have never came easy to Soonyoung. Dance, on the other hand, was like second nature to him. There were so many things he was frustrated with you about, so many things he wanted to say. Now he can with the help of music and his body.
Being a Youtuber, naturally he wanted to showcase this piece to the world. What did he have to lose, right?
It took him approximately two days to film and edit the whole thing. Now it was time to think of a name. Soonyoung smiled to himself as he realizes how simple it had to be.
You were sitting in the last class of the day, you didn’t see Soonyoung show up to school. You swore that if he ever put Youtube over school, then you would’ve personally hide his camera. Your suspicions turned out to be correct.
Your phone lit up with a Youtube notification.
“Kwon Soonyoung Choreography - Dear Y/N”
What was this? Your curiosity had to wait until after school ended. The minute you got home you tapped on the notification.
If you thought Soonyoung’s dancing made your heart melt before, words didn’t come close to how you were feeling right then. You were shocked to say the very least. Yet, the shock faded away as hope replaces it.
Being neighbors with Soonyoung had perks sometimes, this was one of those times. You head out your front door to his.
“I take it that you saw the video that I made for you.” Soonyoung says with a sheepish half-crooked smile.
She taught me all about real sacrifice. That it should be done from love… That it should be done from necessity, not without exhausting all other options. That it should be done for people who need your strenght because they don’t have enough of their own.