As the days count down to Jiyoung’s concert, you text him more and more, trying to set up a time when you guys can meet up and when you can be together. He still evades your questions and keeps begging off with things like “I’m tired” or “I’m busy.”
You try to contact the other members but they all give you the same excuses. Dae calls you, one day, and you can hear the guilt in his voice.
“_________-ah, we’re all really sorry, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
“And Jiyoung, he really does want to see you, it’s just been so stressful.”
“I sure hope so.”
“Don’t be too angry at us, okay? You know we love you. Jiyoung especially.”
You sigh. “Yeah, I know. I love you guys too. Thanks, Daesung.”
You feel a little better after his call, but only barely. You’ve bought tickets with your friends, the most expensive ones. You had hesitated, but what would it matter, to see your boyfriend live in concert, up close? What would it matter to see him smile at you, you, out of all the fan girls in the crowd? So you had done it. Afterwards you patted your wallet and said, “It’ll be worth it, I promise.”
Suddenly it’s the night of the concert, and you’re so nervous. Ji still hasn’t told you what the plan for tonight was yet, and it’s 3 hours before the concert. You’re panicking over what to wear. You know what it’s like at concerts. And floor seats, too. You cobble together what you hope to be an acceptable outfit, in case Ji wants to hang out right after the concert, and nervously await your friends. You look in the mirror, still unsure. But your phone buzzes, and you’re out the door.
You stand in line for what seems like eternity, but then, it always does, right before a concert. And then you’re finally in. Your heart is pounding against your ribcage. “Will Ji even see me?” you wonder to yourself, “Do I want him to?”
After another eternity, the lights go out. Your friends are screaming at you but you can only manage a feeble smile back. There are so many people here, you’re just another face in the crowd. None of the boys will even see you, how can you expect Jiyoung to notice that it’s you? For whatever reason, this makes you a little less nervous. After all, Jiyoung can’t have high expectations of just another face in the crowd. You can just be a fangirl tonight.
And suddenly, there they are. All 5 of them, on stage together. They look genuinely happy to be there, and Ji looks so beautiful. You feel a surge of love, and chide yourself for your own insecurity. Then they start singing, and you let yourself get swept away in the music and the crowd.