re-imagined citadel dlc photo because bioware, you can’t give me a dlc specifically dedicated to proving how much this ridiculous ragtag group of buddies love each other like family, and then give me their drunken houseparty photo… where they’re all standing in strict lines at military attention not touching each other????? like, I get it, making people interact in video games isn’t easy, but that weirdly awkward photo did break my game immersion somewhat. I haven’t been to a drunken houseparty in about five years but I can tell you, they’re gonna cram as many people as possible onto that sofa, and most of them are gonna be distracted well before the photo gets taken.
TOP ROW: steve and vega are on krogan-wrangling duty. steve is better at it. zaeed wants wrex’s drink umbrella but wrex is watching him closely to make sure he puts it the fuck back.
jack’s just…jack. miranda was meant to be looking kind of disgusted like “ugh really?” but I realised as I was colouring it looks like she was about to say something and got, um, distracted by jack’s tongue soooo……… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
its definitely canon that samara L O V E S babies and excited-daddy-to-be jacob would deffs have baby scans to show anyone and everyone.
BOTTOM ROW: kaidan “biotic beefcake” alenko unfortunately ends up next to garrus “unreasonably bulky armour” vakarian, and is torn between “YES FRIENDS :D” and “dear god shepard your feet s t i n k” (she fell through a fishtank yesterday kaidan give her a break). sam is tipsy enough to find this all hilarious. shepard’s the only sober one there but she’s still bein a little shit and lounging over everyone because drunk garrus is handsy garrus. liara’s trying to point out that javik’s passed out to tali but its a miracle that tali’s even sitting upright after being blasted on the bathroom floor for like an hour, so its not very effective. kasumi’s trying to convince joker that his hat would make a lot on the merch market and he’s saying that if she tries it he’ll sic edi on her (edi won’t do anything but her Disappointed Face is absolutely Devastating). javik passed out like five minutes ago and let me say, if all he gets is a bit of paper taped to his head, he gets off INCREDIBLY lightly.
plot twist: EDI loaded a backup of herself into a toaster on the Normandy to ensure survival, but she had to deactivate it to ensure it wasn’t taken out in the blast, so one day, while they’re trying to get the Normandy off that random planet, Chakwas is trying to force Joker to eat something and he finally just gives up and grabs some bread and goes to make toast. He pulls down the lever and hears “Good morning, Jeff. On a scale of 1-10 how burnt would you like this toast?” and he breaks down crying in the galley, to which Toaster!EDI can only respond with “That was a joke.”