ed's body ink

They said be small.
Be delicate and frail,
With fingers like needles and
Arms like twine.
Be cute as a button, but
Old enough
To spread your legs.
Keep your curves,
Be soft to the touch,
Yet firm to watch.
Be confident
Yet meek,
Remain quiet,
But speak,
And remember-
we won’t listen
To your voice.

Shrink your body, they said.
Quiet your voice, they said.
Be soft, be hard,
Be blonde, be dark,
Be anything but yourself, they said.
Okay, I said.
Okay, I said.
Okay. I said okay.

But now,
I’m saying I won’t be small.
I won’t be quiet,
I won’t sit idle in the dark.
My past may be small, but
My future is large,
And I promise you-
I will take up space.

Stay small, they said.

No, I say.

—  KK 11.10.16

I threw up in my grandmothers toilet because I ate a bowl of oatmeal and I couldn’t stand the idea of it in my stomach anymore. you see I think this is where it starts. at first it’s just skipping breakfast, and “I’m not hungry” at lunch but then it goes to sticking your finger down your throat trying to force up whatever’s inside of you that’s causing your skin to stretch and your bones to feel like they’re caving in because you feel like you’ll never be the people on the tv.

sometimes when I look in the mirror I feel like I’m dying. nothing matters except the fact that I’m not as thin as I used to be and I can’t fit into the dress I wore to the eight grade dance three years ago and although my bones have grown since then it doesn’t matter. i am drowning in skin that’s always felt too large.

when I go home I will look my mother in the eye and she will ask how my day was and I will not tell her I spent 20 minutes crying because my lunch was refusing to come up my throat, I will not tell her about the triumphant feeling I had when it finally beat gravity.

i will tell her my day was fine.
i will tell her I’m fine.

—  I’m falling apart– Lily Rain

You think biology has stopped forgiving you.
And each year the moon slips 1.5 inches farther from Earth,
you tell me that you’re always one step farther
from loving yourself and two steps closer
to finding your own ghost. Years from now,
you say even the palaeontologist
who tries to assemble your fossils will give up
when they find that even your backbone has
given into being more liquid than bone.
That the left hemisphere of your brain lit itself on fire
when you were ten, and no longer remembers how to use “love”
and “myself” in the same context anymore.

I know you are all bruises and thunder
from beating yourself at night in your sleep,
pinching your hips and thighs until your blood
has stopped running and started howling instead.

Five years ago, your mother began noticing that the
carton of milk always seemed to refill itself and started hiding all the
measuring cups in places she knew you couldn’t reach.
And after spending four hours lifting the fork to your mouth with
both hands shaking so hard they’d think you were trying
to balance a whale’s heart on your fingertips,
I watched you struggle not to turn your stomach inside out over
toilet bowls the way sea-stars do.

Baby, I know you hate this body.
I know you have forgotten what the stars taste like
because you’ve been so caught up with the idea that you
must shrink until your thighs can hold the universe
between its spaces before you can call your skin and bones
something like home.

But please, let today be different.
Tell me you are learning.

Learning how to rearrange the bones of
the words “my”, “love”, “I”, and “body”
until it sounds less like broken English and
something more like an apology.

Because that’s always the first step.

—  astagesetforcatastrophe, the first step 
Soulmate AU’s/Tropes/Ideas

Originally posted by stelenastef

AU’s

  • Matching tattoos.
  • Age tattoo-ed on body.
    • Age of your soulmate when they meet their mate.
    • Own age tattoo-ed when they’re supposed to meet them.  
  • First words to each other being tattoo-ed on their bodies.
    • The ink slowly appearing with age. Some people have their mark with 5 years and others with 19 years.
    • Being born with the mark.
    • Ink slowly/fast fading when their soulmate dies.
    • It’s written in their soulmates handwriting.
  • Name tattoo-ed on each others body.
  • Hearing each others voice inside their head.
  • Realising being soulmates by touch.
  • Realising being soulnmates by looking them in the eyes for the first time.
  • Realising being soulmates by hearing their voice for the first time.
  • Seeing what their soulmates really are (i.e knowing that they’re a werewolf, seeing an angel wings).
  • Seeing the world colourless until meeting their soulmate and staring to see everything colourless when they die.
  • Seeing only your soulmate in colour.
  • Seeing auras and knowing by colour/lightness/darkness/feeling who’s good for them and who’s toxic.
  • Different kinds of soulmates (friends, lovers, enemies, family, pet, platonic/aromatic mates).
  • Dreaming or seeing visions of soulmate.
  • Feeling their emotions and/or physical pain.
  • Not aging (stopping at 18) until they meet their soulmate.
  • Multiple soulmates so they can decide who they want to be with.
  • Rare soulmate couples (i.e guardian angel/human, non-human/human)
  • AU where every kind of soulmate marks exists (tattoo, hearing their voice for the first time…)
  • Knowing how your soulmate looks in your dreams but as soon as you wake up, you forget and wonder about their looks.

Ideas

  • Soulmates die together.
  • Only soulmates can have children together.
  • Being someone’s Juliet but not being their Romeo.
  • In modern time using the internet to find soulmates.
    • i.e posting pictures of their mark.
    • Soulmate dating websites. 
    • Reaching out on social media to find the one since it’s possible they live in another country (i.e through groups).
    • Predators/Killers faking marks to lure victims into their traps.
  • Death penalty if you kill someones soulmate on purpose.
  • Social events/clubs/blind dates for people to find their soulmate. 
  • TV soulmate commercials.
  • Watching TV and recognising their soulmate.
  • So much music/books/art about soulmates.
  • Being taught in school about soulmates. 
    • The topic being treated in different ways in different countries. (i. e Don’t lose your virginity to a random person, it being treated like sex ed in some countries, treated in art/music/lit class). 
  • Some people being against soulmates. 
    • Rejecting their soulmate. 
    • (Radical) hate groups.
    • Murdering their soulmate.
    • Murdering people with marks.
    • Burning their mark away (i.e sex workers, people who found someone who is not their soulmate).
  • Political groups for/against soulmates.
  • Discrimination against people who don’t have a mark.
    • They are not allowed to adopt kids, to marry and so on.
  • Fate being a bitch and giving homophobes, racists, sexists and awful people in general the ‘right’ soulmate to put them back in line (i.e a female homophobe gets a female soulmate // murderer kills own soulmates and realises it too late).
  • Soulmate myths, legends exists all around the world. Soulmates being mentioned in religion. 
  • Communicating with your soulmate through time (and space) until you meet. She’s in 2000 and they’re in 2018.
  • Your soulmate having the same or opposite eye/hair colour. (blue eyes = brown eyes // brown hair = blond hair).
  • Touching each others makes them feel better instantly(during sickness, pain).
  • Only a soulmate’s touch feeös good.
  • Serial killer tries to kill their victim and they find out it’s their soulmate,
    • Their victim is a serial killer, too.
  • Villain and hero are soulmates.
  • Employers giving people a few free days after their employees met their soulmate (to bond).
  • Las Vegas making so much money because soulmates decide to marry a few days/month after they met.
  • Being drunk and having sex with your soulmate and not realising it until one gets pregnant (since only soulmates can have kids).
  • Sharing the same room at the hospital (being on the same floor/station). 
  • Football kiss cam!
  • In the future finding out that aliens and earthlings can be soulmates. That’s why not all humans have found their soulmate in the past.
  • Scientists testing soulmates. 
    • In the past/present/future scientists do cruel experiments for the goverment.
  • Dying and meeting your soulmate as a ghost (either both dead or the ghost following their soulmate and being their guardian).

Places to meet your soulmate

  • Clubs. 
  • Coffee shop/Starbucks.
  • Hair salon.
  • Nail studio.
  • DIY market.
  • Sex club/swingers club/ sex shop/ local orgy.
  • Prison. 
  • College/school/work.
  • Comic con/conventions.
  • Church/mosque/temples/synagogue.
  • Meeting while traveling another countries.
  • While playing online games.
  • Teacher-parent conference.
  • Local party.
  • Friend’s party.
  • At the doctor’s/ at the vet’s/ at the hospital.
  • Target/Mall.
  • McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy’s.
  • At the cinema.
  • During a football/soccer/baseball game.
  • In heaven/hell/purgatory after death.
  • On a tropical island after you stranded.
  • While (roller/ice) skating.
  • On Tumblr/Facebook/Twitter.


(Submit your cliches, tropes, stereotypes and au’s)