not to try to make a nuanced post or whatever but imo treating girls w/ eating disorders/pro-ana/mia blogs as villains + the sole perpetrators of eating disorder culture instead of victims of all of the constant messages in our society that promotes thinness as the epitome of beauty and a goal worth all sacrifices no matter what, and the glorification of thigh gaps, visible collar bones etc etc etc….is very like… unhelpful and kinda cruel imo. teenage girls who surround themselves w other pro-ana/mia girls are honestly very very lonely, sad, insecure people looking for a community and companionship, and even though its incredibly destructive, these girls are genuinely trying to “help” each other, even though its an incredibly harmful way of enabling each other. the culture of pro-ana/mia is the fault of our larger culture, not a bunch of teenage girls w a legitimate illness. ed culture is never talked about w the sympathy and nuance it deserves, girls w pro-ed blogs are not demons, they are people who need healing, sympathy, and support. also, i see a lot of anti-ed people saying things like “anorexic girls are UGLY” which is so….counterproductive….like, telling deeply bodily dysmorphic girls that they’re ugly does…at best, nothing, and at worst, simply adds another layer to their body hatred. eating disorders in my expirience and in what ive observed in others is that they tend to function as a kind of addiction and imo should be treated as such to be truly effective in helping people w eds recover. anyway thats the discourse for the day, enjoy
Saw some girls talking about an older version of ed singing pony, so, I thought I’d share an updated version of him singing pony. He also sing let me love you and this all leads into my favorite performance of I see fire. Let’s all enjoy now lol
Can we talk about the fact that Ed said he slept with some girls from Taylor’s squad and everyone applauded him but if taylor would’ve said something remotely close to that statement she would have been called a slut and a whore and everyone would sacrifice her ass? I mean i love them both to death but double standards just get on my nerves.
today in class i went off on a tangent about inclusive sex ed that talks about lgbt people and this one girl goes “what if it makes people uncomfortable to learn about about gay people having sex” and i said “what if it makes me uncomfortable that i wasn’t taught what dental dams were in sex ed” and half the class was like “what are those” and i said “exactly”
I just have a lot of feelings about Ed talking to Winry in his sleep. He misses hER SO MUch and I don’t care what you tell me, transdimensional alchemy rifts will not keep these two idiots apart. Ugh I can’t. And it’s even more important because this is right after Alfons talked to Noah about how Ed never seems interested in girls……yeah. This is why. It’s just one girl–on the other side of the gate where he can never see her again except in his dreams. /heartbreak/
So in interviews when Taylor gets asked about her and Ed dating her answers always seem a bit strange to me. At first I thought there was no way she thought about Ed like that. He isn’t a tall, dark, handsome metrosexual for example. I thought she was just being polite. But I realised looking back even if she wanted to be more than friends with Ed she hasn’t really had the chance if we are to believe Ed talking about his 9 month relationship with the mystery girl. Then Ellie and Claire.
So picture this. You are purely platonic friends with a boy. Someone askes you if you are dating. What do you say? First things that come to mind.
We don’t see each other like that. We are just friends.
It is more of a brother/ sister thing.
It would be too strange.
It would be complicated etc..
We have different lives (live in different countries etc)
But no. She panics and says “I don’t want to lose him and the only way I can guarantee we can hang out forever is not to date him”. I thought she was being polite but what if she really means it? If you think about it this is a really strange thing to say about a friend. It means she has at least considered dating him to answer like this. If the thought of loosing him is so bad and so scary that isn’t just a friendship kind of thing. Maybe it is because she loves everything about him and he makes her happier than anyone in the world and he is perfect in every way.
be my forever
i sat down on the hotel bed and looked at ed, who was laying, legs crossed, on the other side of the mattress. He was occupied with his phone, and so I sighed, exaggerating a bit, just so I could get his attention. He moved his phone to the side and laughed at my attempt to be noticed.
“What are you sighing about?” He asked.
“Ah nothing, I just don’t really know what to do.” I smiled.
He sat up, and shrugged. “You’re Taylor Swift. Go buy a cat or something. He mocked me.
"Fine.” I sarcastically said as I made my way for the door. I turned around and let out a laugh. “Kidding, obviously.” I made my way back over to where Ed was, and purposely jumped on the bed. “I don’t know what to do.” I whined, and Ed just looked at me, shook his head as he laughed, and stood up to walk across the room. He came back with his guitar. “OH! song time!” I clapped my hands and sat criss cross, waiting for him to play something, similar to how a little kid would wait to watch thier favorite movie. “What are you going to play for me?” I asked.
“Well, I was actually going to give you a sneak peak of Christina’s song that I’m going to record tomorrow. She said you’re welcome to come along to the studio as we go and record, if you’d like.” He suggested as he tuned his guitar.
“I’d love to!”
He smiled and began striking the strings of the guitar, playing an unfamiliar melody. I was assuming he was going to sing both his and Christina’s parts, considering she obviously wasn’t here.
“We’re on top of the world,
We’re on top of the world
Now darling so don’t let go.
Can I call you mine?
So can I call you mine now darling
For a whole lifetime?
My heart finally trusts my mind.
And I know somehow it’s right.”
I listened to the lyrics he sang, and his voice sounded like silk. Soft and smooth. I always enjoyed listening to him sing. I closed my eyes and absorbed his voice. My body began to sway back and forth to the beat of the song, and my lips curved into a smile. I really liked this one.
When the lyrics stopped and his guitar playing faded out, I opened my eyes, and saw ed was looking at me, as if awaiting an opinion.
“Wow. That’s really good, and the lyrics are…” I thought of the right word. “…pure. I like it.” I shot him a thumbs up, and he smirked.
“Thank you, it was mostly her work writing it, so I really shouldn’t take credit. But thanks anyway.”
“Wow, I’ll have to tell her tomorrow what I think of it. You sure she’s okay with me coming to the recording studio with you guys? I know you kind of had a fling-like thing. If you guys want some alone time it’s okay.” I trailed off and sort of half smiled. I tried to deny it, but every time I talked about ed and another girl, I was overridden with jealousy. It wasn’t necessarily an “I want to date you, and she can’t have you” jealousy, it was more of an unexplainable feeling.
“Oh no, no, no.” He laughed. “Christina and I are just friends, and that’s it. No need to get protective, Swift.” He nudged my shoulder, add I laughed as if it was just a joke.
“Yeah, yeah. Fine I’ll come. It should be fun anyway.”
“I agree. But, I’m actually going to go to bed, because it’s getting late and I’m supposed to meet her at the studio at 9. You going to bed too?” He asked.
“Yeah, I might as well.” I got off the bed and moved over to the couch.
“I’ll sleep there…” He said.
“Are you sure? You can have the bed if you want?” I replied. It was funny, we went through the same routine every time we stayed at a hotel. Whether it be for touring, or because we were traveling together, I’d always try to sleep on the couch, but we’d end up changing and ed would take the couch and I’d occupy the bed.
“Yeah it’s fine, as always.” He smiled and brought two pillows and a blanket to his sleeping area. I walked over to the bed, laid down, and fell asleep much faster than I expected.
When we got to the studio the next morning, I walked in and greeted Christina. We caught up for a few moments, as I hadn’t seen her in a few months. I made sure to compliment her new song, and say I couldn’t wait for her new album. We continued the small talk, and then the two of them went I to the studio and went to work. I watched them record, and when they finally got through the whole song perfectly, Ed looked over at me, smiled, and sang the last line “be my forever.” I smiled back, and began laughing. He let out a slight “Wooo!” And sat down his headset. “That’s a wrap.” He said as he motioned for me to come over. He gave me a hug, out of the blue, and then he thanked Christina and congratulated her for the third time today.
“No problem, and thank you too! I’ll be sure to send you a physical copy of the album when it comes out. I’ll see you guys around, don’t get in too much trouble, love birds.” She laughed. Ed and I looked at eachother, as if to question the label we just got. We both awkwardly shrugged it off and made our way for the door. It was already around one, and so we stopped for lunch on the way back.
Later that night, I was sitting on the hotel room bed, watching the TV. Ed came over and say on the opposite side. We were both in pajamas, which wasn’t unusual, as we typically lounged in them when we stayed together. I looked over at ed, and he was already looking at me.
“So you really liked the song?” He asked.
“Yes, I’d love to know what it’s about. I mean, I have a general idea, but there are some parts that could use further explanation.”
“Oh yeah, I, um don’t really know what it’s about.” He said, losing our eye contact.
“You don’t?” I replied. “Didn’t you write it with her?”
“Well yeah…” He sighed. “You’re really going to make me tell you, aren’t you?” He said, his face turning a bit red.
“Well, I’d appreciate it, but you don’t have to if it’s something personal to her or you.” I have him a soft smile, hoping he’d tell me.
“Us.” He whispered, quickly.
“It’s about us. She wrote the song about us, and she wanted me to sing it with her, because I’ve told her about you.” He wouldn’t look at me, which was probably good, because the fact that he told her about his feelings for me sparked a smile.
“There.” He said, looking at me now. “Now you know.” He flashed me a shy smile.
“Now I know.” I grinned, and I could tell my face was bright red, as his was. “So you really feel that way?” I trailed off. “About me?”
“Yes. I really do and I really always have. I just could never find a right time to tell you, and you always said in interviews how I was a great friend and you could never date me, so I took that as you weren’t interested at all.” He sighed. “And if you’re not, I’m sorry for making tonight awkward.”
“Ed?” I said, a bit nervous. He looked up, and I leaned in pressed my lips to his. When I pulled away, we both had an expression of shock.
I broke the awkward silence by speaking up, “totally interested.” I laughed, and caused ed to do the same.
We spend the rest of the night discussing the past few months and the way we’ve felt about eachother. And for the first time, we didn’t argue about who slept on the couch, because Ed slept behind me on the bed, with his arm wrapped around my waist, and I had never felt more secure in my life.