ed sheeran is my life okay

The little things are what really matter.

Waking up early. The open window in your bedroom letting in the spring breeze. Earl grey tea with honey. A fruit bowl. Your favorite blanket. Ed Sheeran’s new album playing. A pen and a journal.

The little things can make you happy.

—  N.C. // that’s what matters
Summer Playlist

Aries: “Let’s get lost you can take me home, somewhere nice we can be alone, bikini tops coming off” // Lady Gaga, Summerboy

Taurus: “And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind, I can never leave the past behind. I can see no way, i can see no way, I’m always dragging that horse around” // Florence + the Machine, Shake It Out

Gemini: “She was mine, I was hers, And all that’s in between. If she would cry, I would shelter her, and keep her from the darkness that will be” // Ed Sheeran, Sunburn

Cancer: “If you are breathing in my tears, I won’t let them dry. If you’re still squirming in my scar, I won’t let it heal. Even if it hurts, it’s okay if it’s you. Even if they are sad memories, it’s okay if they’re mine” Lee Hi ft. Jennie Kim, Special

Leo:  “So don’t you worry your pretty little mind, People throw rocks at things that shine and life makes love look hard.  The stakes are high, the water’s rough, But this love is ours” // Taylor Swift, Ours

Virgo: “What is love if you’re not here with me? What is love if it’s not guaranteed? What is love if it just ups and leaves? What is love if you’re not here no more? What is love if you’re not really sure?” // V Bozeman, What is Love

Libra: “I’ll be as honest as you let me, I miss your early morning company, if you get me. You are my favorite ‘what if’. You are my best ‘I’ll never know’” // Fall Out Boy // Fourth of July 

Scorpio: “We’re nothing like we seem, passionate words are never spoken. You don’t know how I bleed when I leave your side” // Beyoncé, Satellites 

Sagittarius: “Moods that take me and erase me, and I’m painted black. You have suffered enough, and warred with yourself. It’s time that you won” // Glen Hansard, Falling Slowly

Capricorn: “You hold me without touch, You keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much, than to drown in your love and not feel your rain” // Sarah Bareilles, Gravity 

Aquarius: “Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing through my open ears, inciting and inviting me. Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns and calls me on and on, across the universe” // The Beatles, Across The Universe 

Pisces: “Take my hand, stay Joanne. Heaven’s not ready for you. Every part of my aching heart needs you more than the angels do” // Lady Gaga, Joanne 

A Letter to Nintendo (I Met My Love on Mario Kart)

Dear Nintendo,



If you didn’t exist I would not have met the love of my life. You’re probably thinking, “So you bumped into someone and realised you both liked Nintendo, who doesn’t? Cool story…” Not even close. 

The year was 2008, a year I’m sure many hold dear in their hearts. The year Mario Kart Wii was released. I don’t know about yours, but my days were filled with holding that wheel (of the plastic kind). MKWii was basically the air I breathed, I still remember my very first online race as crisp as a freshly cut lawn (Grumble Volcano before people realised that glitch existed). After playing the other Mario Kart games over the years against item-lucky computers (and the rare actual person), this blew my mind. However this is barely relevant to the story. The point is, people. There were people out there, just like you and me, casually sitting on the couch with a wheel imprint (perhaps 3.5% of the racing population) left in our hands and soul. Many hours (days, weeks, months), races (thousands, easily), blood sweat and tears went into this game and we all got something out of it I’m sure; fun, frustration, and friends.

Living in that piece of country people may often forget even exists (if it weren’t for the fact we use kangaroos as transport, especially after we realised emus don’t fly nor reverse), the option to play continental was such a blessing as we would often bump into the same people and you’d have that unspoken connection. No words, no contact, you just recognised each other by your Mii and/or name (for those who didn’t change it from John to W4FFLEZ, to SwagMeister89 every day). There was this one player that just stuck out to me, perhaps it was her luscious brown pixilated hair. Or it could have been because we seemed to be completely evenly matched, the only thing that separated us were those items. She’d win one race, I’d win the next. We had formed some unspoken bond, completely without contact, as we wouldn’t hit each other with items but were happy to do so to others. Side by side we’d race until some item-happy player would come along and separate us. So I’d stop at the finish line for her, even if that meant getting last place, just to let her know I saw what happened and she doesn’t deserve to come last because of some item spammer (you know, usually the 3 red shells one at a time). This became a trend and went both ways, I’d see her waiting there at the finish line for me. Then we’d both stop, together, and neither of us would cross. We just sat there at the line, revving our engines, moving backwards and forwards, wanting the other to cross. I still remember so clearly at 1am in the morning we ended up in a race together with just one other person, so the 3 of us. The race started but, simultaneously, we turned around and went backwards, did loops around each other, did the stop start (like when cloud man picks you up and you need a boost) into each other’s vehicles, grabbed items just to hit each other with, not having a single care about the race itself. This lasted for a good while, many laughs were had, and it seemed a true bond was formed - without a single word to each other. At this point, Mario Kart Wii didn’t have the option to add a friend just by clicking on them, or contacting them for that matter. You had to actually converse with them to get their friend code to then become friends, so all this time we were ‘scouring the country side’ to find each other (or more so because Australia is about as big as a 250kb USB, it was easy to bump into each other). Race after race, hour after hour, day after day, week after week we would race.


I didn’t know who this girl was (or even if she was a girl on the other side, let’s be honest) but we were Mario Kart soul mates. It wasn’t just Mario Kart that I loved, it was racing her, through our unspoken bond and silly rituals, that was fun in the purest form. It sounds like a Mario Kart love story… Until that dreaded time came where eventually we went our separate ways. It was time to say that unspoken goodbye, time to let go of that unspoken bond, time to move on. That was it…



So that’s the story, I met the pixilated love of my life and we raced until we could race no more.



…Ah but that’s only the beginning.

 6 years later Mario Kart 8 was released and I wiped the dust off the wheel, reflecting on the past. That wheel was my partner in crime, Epona to Link. It had scratches, bits missing out of it, even bite marks (ahem, sometimes races don’t exactly go your ways…). Those were the times! I jumped online only to find I had people from France, UK and Italy roam my races. Where were my fellow Australians? I played a few races and that was it, holding too strongly onto the past. Down went my trusty wheel and off went the game.

Until one afternoon my brother was bored (or procrastinating) and wanted to know what Mario Kart 8 was like, as we didn’t spend that much time together it was a prime opportunity to chill. So I popped it on, jumped online and went through the motions. A few races with people so far away, whilst fun, I got bored too fast. Almost switching the console off, something stopped me. Those brown eyes, luscious brown hair, big smile, black outfit. Could it be? It was. It was her. In a packed race filled with people from France, UK and Italy there were two Australians. Myself and the girl I raced almost 7 years ago. The girl who stopped at the line for me, the girl who didn’t hit me with items, the girl who who was my racing equal, the girl who I never spoke a word with but shared an unspoken bond. She had the same Mii, same name, there was no doubt it was her. Unlike me I had a different Mii (puberty does things to you) and a different name (I felt now that I was 23 I could level up from nickname to actual name). I knew who she was but she would never know who I am! I was on the tracks riding next to her, beeping at her, bumping into her, all the while knowing she would just think I’m some weirdo who doesn’t know how to handle a bike. It was all so ironic, as well as the fact unlike MK Wii we both didn’t race as our Miis but as Mario and Peach (the helmets covered up our luscious brown hair, y’see). Mario chasing his princess whilst the princess was basically in another castle/didn’t know who he was. I wanted to reach out and tell her who I was; I was that guy she raced almost 7 years ago, that guy who stopped at the line for her, protected her from items, the guy who she stayed up with into the early hours of the morning, that guy she never spoke a single word to. I savoured every race not knowing if I’d ever be able to see her again. I raced by her side race after race, even though I was hit with her items (“And if you hurt me, that’s okay baby” - Ed Sheeran, ‘Photograph’), I even stopped at the line for her. Did she know who I was? Probably not. Next race she was gone. 



And that is how I met the love of my life on Mario Kart, twice. Does that count as a real love story? We basically raced into the sunset to live happily ever after, right?



So there may be more to it. Being in a state of excitement, nostalgia, and who knows what, I was a man on a mission. When I’m a man on a mission I usually forget the simple things, like clicking on her Mii to add her as a friend. I didn’t even know such a thing existed. So I literally was a man on a mission. My first resort, google. Obviously no luck. Miiverse! Excitedly I reached ‘Search Users’ and typed in her name, only to realise that it was one of the most common names to exist. After about an hour of searching my hope was wearing thin, my face resembled a Mii who came in at least 10th, head down, lost, reflecting, pondering. Hang on, she had stars in her name! Apparently everyone with the name Lisa has stars in them. No luck. Utterly defeated, I held the power button down for two seconds and just before the third I realised something. Something didn’t look right… That’s right, she had spaces between the stars! I’ve never been more determined to hit that space bar. There she was. I had found her.

“Hey Lisa! I’m not sure if you’d remember me but I used to race as Ed back in the MKWii days! Was good to see you, can see you haven’t lost your touch!” Not even sure if she’d see the message or even reply, it was all in the hands of fate now. Fate it certainly was. She remembered me. We conversed through Miiverse, learning little basic bits about each other. The most important being that The Legend of Zelda was our favourite gaming series (and basically favourite thing to exist). To the point I have a Zelda tattoo and her dog’s name is Link. Destiny? From there, she asked for my email address so she could send me a photo of Link (let’s just say I am very thankful for Miiverse’s lack of characters/ability to send photos). 


One message turned into many, across days, weeks and months. A one sentence message grew into paragraphs, pages, novels, photos and videos. One single message evolved into over 25 000 words combined. Who knew what one message could lead to. I had found someone who I connected with on every level, whom I shared endless things in common with, big to small (to the point of both of us being left-handed and our birthdays being 2 days apart). However she lived a whole state away. This was nothing but a mere friendship over the internet.



I came across the amazing fan book “Legend of the Hero” by Kari Fry and bought one, along with a few other Zelda bits and pieces. A thought crossed my mind, perhaps I could send this to her? I mean it’s just as easy for her to go buy it herself, but it would be nice, right? So she ended up giving me her address and I excitedly made her a Zelda package. 


Off it went, along with my number on the back of the package (as required by the, ultimate wingman, post office). I soon received a very excited text message and from there we conversed through text - although we couldn’t let go of our novel emails straight away, as our recent messages were “Hey, just letting you know the Postman has left something in your inbox (Da na na naaaa)!” Soon after she sent me my very own Zelda package, which was easily the best package I have ever received in my life.








From there I knew I wanted to meet her. I wanted to drop everything, catch a plane, and meet this girl who I shared this abnormally special connection with. Meet this girl who I had raced for many hours, days, weeks and months on Mario Kart(s) (“Oh I lost you once but I found you twice, and my search is over” - ‘Deeper Love’, Mike Mago). Meet this girl who I waited for; not only at the line but, unknowingly, for many years. Meet this girl who I had spent hours upon hours writing to, words upon words, photos upon photos. Meet this girl who seemed to be a destined part of my life. That I did. 



One single flight and a solid friendship turned into thirteen flights (within a month) and a beautiful relationship, with the final flight being a permanent one. I’ve now moved states, transferred jobs, and am living with my best friend, my soulmate, my love. Best decision I’ve ever made was to catch that flight. No, the best decision I’ve ever made was to play Mario Kart. 











Who knew that Mario Kart could forever change your life?



Thank you, Nintendo.



- Elijah 



P.S. We are now very happily engaged - Zelda rings* for the both of us!


*Austin Moore from Earth Art Gem and Jewelry (https://www.etsy.com/shop/mooredesign13) made both our rings, with Lisa’s being a custom made design. Absolutely recommend!


P.P.S. Here is a link to the video (also included within post) of me proposing to my now fiancee (with Mario Kart included - as well as a Zelda cake): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukkw6XI4jTo 

Thank you, Nintendo.

Moving On

pairing: Lin x reader

warnings: alcohol. swearing. SADNESS.

summary: TEN moments in the journey of moving on

I rose from the dead to bring you all some PAIN. It took me a while to get this done because I wanted to get it right. A big thanks to @l-nmanuel for being my sunshine, @linslovelylocks for helping me out with the Pain, and @gratitudejoyandsorrow for making me read Love & Misadventure (which inspired this fic). (@imkindapassionate-kindasoulless)

words: 2,592


ONE (play is all it takes for her to fall in love)

You remember seeing him for the first time in a school play, all untidy black hair and dark wild eye. He was confident, almost arrogant in the way he commanded presence onstage. You ran to him after the play to congratulate him on his excellent performance.

You expected a haughty smirk from the lead actor, but instead he grinned bashfully and admitted that your pieces in the school magazine was always the highlight of his Tuesday.

“If only I was as good a writer as you are, I could write the greatest play in the history of ever,” he had said.

Just for a moment there, you saw the bleeding edge of insecurity underneath his sunny exterior. All it took was an exchange of numbers, a series of texts overnight, and by the next day, the two of you were already best friends.

TWO (people play acting. or are they?)

Lin is pacing the length of his bedroom, looking absolutely terrified for his audition tomorrow.

“I wish I could help,” you say absently, editing your article on your laptop. His head immediately snaps to you.

“Help me act out some scenes?”

You raise your eyebrows at him. He grins, pulling on his ‘but-I’m-your-best-friend’ face. You’ve never been able to say no to that smile. He grabs your laptop from you and types something, then shows you a list of prompts. So you spend 5 hours switching between at least 20 different characters, ranging from an angry grandmother to a hot girl he meets at a bar. You both turn to your laptop to see the final prompt.

‘A and B are best friends. A’s reaction to B getting married. ’

“Congrats,” you say, turning to him, already in character.

“That’s a lie.” He gives a mirthless laugh.

“I’m not! Congratulations,” you repeat, wondering where he was trying to steer the script.

“You’re lying! Why aren’t you happy for me? What are you trying to say?” he said fiercely, his black eyes boring into you.

“I’m trying to say that I’m in love with you!” you yell.

Right after the words leave your mouth, your heart stops. That isn’t part of the prompt. Your feelings aren’t supposed to get tangled with your improvisation. Wait, your feelings? For him?

“You have no right to say that just before I’m getting married,” Lin hisses.

“I’ve tried, you idiot. You think I want this?” you snap.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do anything about it,” he says, looking down. Your heart drums against your chest, and then you grin.

“Aaaand, scene.”

THREE (times he rewrote the script and it was still rejected)

He slumps down in the seat next to you, everything in his movement looking drained. You ask him if anything is wrong, but he just shakes his head mutely. You try again, taking his hand in yours. And for some reason, he tells you.

“My script was rejected,” he says quietly. “I thought I already knew rejection, but not this. I put everything into this. I rewrote the entire thing 3 times.”

You squeeze his hand. “Keep rewriting. You have all the time in the world.”

His smile is sad, and grateful, and something in your heart tightens. You smile back at him, hoping that he can’t see the butterflies in your stomach. You stare at his brown eyes. They aren’t the colour of the ocean, but you can drown in them anyway.

“Mi corazón,” he says, smiling at you.

“My nerd,” you reply affectionately.

(at) FOUR (a.m. he decides to get a tattoo because he can’t stop thinking about someone)

Lin gets paired up with Natalie, the future valedictorian, for a project. You see them and the first thing that you feel is a loud, stinging pang of jealousy, but in the back of your mind, there’s a click that tells you they’re meant to be. You ignore it and keep it to yourself, because that’s what you do best.

He texts you. ‘hey i’m getting a tattoo of a mic, come with?’

You accompany him to the tattoo parlor as he gets the mic. He’s over the moon as you drive home.

“What do you think?” he asks, trying to catch a glimpse of his tattoo for the first time.

“Personally, I wouldn’t get a tattoo that says daddy in cursive, but-”

“What the fuck?” he yells, wheeling around to try to see his back in the mirror.

“I’m kidding! Who inspired you to get a mic anyway?”

His face transforms into a wide, carefree smile, and his entire being relaxes. “Natalie.”

You turn up the volume of the radio so he doesn’t hear your heart breaking.

FIVE (Gordon Ramsay insults. technically, the last one isn’t an insult.)

You’re there when Lin finally kisses her.

It’s her birthday, and she tries to pass it off as low-key by calling it ‘just a barbeque’, but the truth is that it’s a very expensive beach party. You and Lin are piling food into your plate, trying to fit in with the rich kids by shouting Gordon Ramsay-esque insults.

“The pork is so raw it’s still singing Hakuna Matata!” you yell, stabbing it and taking a big bite.

“Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn’t fucking cook it!” He says in a terrible British accent.

“Maybe you should give this piece of meat to the gods; I hear they like burnt offerings.”

He puts both hands on your cheeks. “What are you?”

“An idiot sandwich,” you say, faux tearfully. The two of you cackle in amusement, stealing bits of food of each other’s plate. Lin is about to launch into Ramsay mode again when Natalie approaches the two of you.

“Hey, guys,” she says happily.

“Hello, linda,” Lin interjects quickly, taking her hand. It’s a joke he always uses when trying to pick up girls - calling them linda so they’d say “my name isn’t Linda” and he can reply “linda means beautiful in Spanish” and watch them turn red.

Instead, a dusty pink blush spreads across her cheeks. “Quiet, you,” she laughs. Lin’s eyes light up in disbelief, like ‘holy shit, this amazing girl knows Spanish, she just got even hotter’. His eyes flit to you for permission, and you give him a big thumbs up.

You watch as Lin walk Natalie to the edge of the water, and they sit down. Gently, he puts his hands on her cheeks and says: “What are you?”

Natalie grins. “The love of your life?”

Even from a distance, you can hear Lin’s warm laugh, fading away as he leans in to kiss her. Everyone ceases their conversation to cheer and whistle at them. When Lin pulls away, he’s wearing a smile similar to a Cheshire cat’s.

Daniel, Lin’s roommate, lunges forward and pushes Lin towards the water. Natalie’s friends catch on to the idea and push her towards the water until the two of them are knee deep in water. You laugh along with everyone, until the crowd starts to dissipate. You return to your room.

It’s past midnight when Lin tiptoes into your room to grab fresh clothes that he keeps in your drawer. “Good night, Lin,” you whisper as he passes your bed.

He gasps. “Shut up, (Y/N).”

“I’m happy for you.”

“Shut. Up.” You can’t see his face in the dark, but you’re pretty sure he’s smiling as he leaves the room.

SIX (songs that aren’t even dedicated to her)

The worst thing about being in love with your best friend is that you can’t tell your best friend about it.

Your heart skips a beat when Lin texts you. ‘heya i’m making you a mixtape! it’s cute and adorable and fluffy (like me)’

You reply within seconds. ‘hm, what’s it about?’

‘SHIT sorry that message was for natalie!! actually, since you are a fellow pretentious fuck when it comes to music, can you help me out with the mix?’

‘sure. tell me about it.’

‘okay so i already have Perfect by Ed Sheeran, for obvious reasons, and Don’t You Forget About Me. what else?”

‘Ignition (Remix)!!!!’

‘are you fucking kidding no way’

‘come on, dude.’

‘fine. I’m also feeling The Fray. How To Save A Life?’

‘no wtf that song is mainstream and irrelevant. Heartbeat.’

‘good one. 505?’

‘YES. also. Cherry Wine.’

‘It’s done! It’s a mini-mix, i’m putting together a longer and better one for her birthday. THANK YOU, wingwoman.’

‘send it to me for prooflistening!!’

My Only Sunshine, by Lin-Manuel

Heartbeat - The Fray
505 - Arctic Monkeys
Ignition (Remix) - R. Kelly
Perfect - Ed Sheeran
Cherry Wine - Hozier
Don’t You Forget About Me - Simple Minds

‘nice job, cabrón.’

SEVEN (billion people in the world and she chose to fall in love with the one who doesn’t love her back)

“Natalie’s parents are thinking of saying no if Lin proposes to her,” Chris announces, placing a plate of eggs in front of you.

“What?” you splutter, dropping your spoon. “No. The wedding has to happen.”

Chris gives you a long, measured look. “I thought their wedding being cancelled would save you from a great deal of pain.”

“It doesn’t matter if I tear my own heart in two. Because if Lin is happy, then it is worth it-”

“God!” Chris’ eyes narrows. “What could possibly be worth it?”

“Everything that I have lost!” you shout. “Lin!”

Chris breathes in and out slowly, and there’s something like pity in his eyes when he looks at you. “7.5 billion people in the world and you had to choose the one who doesn’t love you back.”

EIGHT (bottles of beer and she still misses him)

“What’s up, big shot?” you slur, holding the phone in one hand and a bottle of cheap beer in the other.

“Fuck,” he exhales, realising you were drunk. “I’ll be at your place in 5 to make sure you’re okay.”

“You’re so far away, Lin,” you complain. “Souls don’t understand the notion of distance, you know that? They only know how right it feels to be with one another. I miss you even when you’re just a room away, because my soul only feels the absence of yours.”

He laughs, and through the haze of alcohol you feel warmth spread through you, like a sun peeking from behind the clouds. “You only miss me when you’re drunk.”

“I’m drunk because I miss you,” you say softly. A beat of silence passes, and time stands still. You wonder if he hung up.

“Natalie’s calling.” The sound of her name shatters the moment like glass. You can’t find it in you to reply.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get there,” he jokes. His voice is rough, scratchy, and he mutters a goodbye before hanging up.

True to his word, he appears 5 minutes later in your doorstep. He notices the empty bottles of beer on the floor and sees you lying down on the couch. Without hesitation, he gently pushes you to make space for him and lies down next to you.

You grin sleepily up at him. “Thanks for coming, but I’d rather sleep.”

“Sleep, mi corazón,” he whispers softly, pulling you closer to him. You know that he isn’t going to stay the night, but it’s still a slap to your face when he’s gone in the morning leaving nothing but a note taped to a glass of water.

For the first time, you feel white-hot jealousy flare up in you. All you wake up to is a hastily scrawled note, while Natalie gets to wake up to the life-sized, walking, talking Lin: to the sizzle of him cooking bacon, to his raspy humming, to his brown eyes half-lidded with sleep, to him.

(he’s on cloud) NINE

“(Y/N). You should fall in love. It’s amazing.”

He sounds drunk, but he actually isn’t. Drunk on love, maybe. It’s a joy for you to see your best friend like this, but it hurts like hell to see him like this because of another girl. It’s like he can’t stop talking about her, he always slides her name into every single sentence, twisting every conversation to relate it back to her.

You become so worried about losing your best friend that you check his phone to see what your name is in his contacts. You breathe a sigh of relief when it’s still mi corazón. You look for Natalie’s contact. Mi alma.

Mi corazón, my heart. You’re his heart; you know what he likes, what he hates, you see all his dark and you love his light.

Mi alma, my soul. She is his soul; he lives and breathes her, she sees the stars in his smile, everything he does is either with her, because of her, or for her.

TEN (years after meeting him and she finally lets him go)

Lin appears in your house with two cups of coffee. “I’m thinking of proposing to Natalie,” he says, after taking a long sip from his cup.

“Do it,” you cheered, grinning. He looks at you, searching for any kind of falseness, but there is none.

“I- Are you sure?”

“Yes. When I met you, I thought you hung all the stars and the moon in the sky. But I came to realise that you are just like me. You know the shape of my soul and the words of my heart. You’re my first love, Lin, and you always will be. But I deserve someone who loves me back, so I can be the poem instead of the poet I’ve always been. I’ve been stuck in your orbit for years, and this is me breaking free.”

He bites his lip and stares at the ground. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you say softly, pulling him into a hug. You savor the moment, drawing it out for as long as possible, and then you pull away. The smile that he gives you afterwards is worth everything.

The next day, you’re out at dinner with Natalie, and you can tell that she has something to say by the way she cuts her chicken into smaller pieces than is necessary. “I think Lin’s going to propose to me.”

“Really?” you enthuse. “That’s great!”

“Any words from his best friend?” she asks.

You’re silent for a long moment, trying to find the words. “Take care of him. He looks like he has enough love to give to everyone, but sometimes he needs love as well. Be honest about his work. He enjoys criticism. He’ll sometimes think he’s the dullest of the bunch, when in reality he’s the brightest. With every word, pen stroke, and touch, you’re going to fall deeper in love with him. Please, just love him with everything you have.”

She holds your gaze, and between the two of you, there was some kind of resolve; an understanding. She knows. And she knows you’re moving on.

“Oh, and Natalie?” you ask, just before the moment fades.

“Yeah?” she says, with a smile that eases your mind. Not many people deserve Lin, but she definitely does.

“Don’t you fucking dare break his heart.”

Moments. Chapter 13: Yes

Idea explained here

You can read all the parts here

(I’ve decided to put the prompts in the end from now on so it’s not like a spoiler or anything)


Chapter 13: Yes

“You start your last year of uni on Monday, are you excited?”

“I guess?” Sana said looking up from his book

They were in her living room, Sana sitting on one of the couches reading while Yousef lied on the other one going through his phone

“You guess?”

“No, I mean, I’m excited but I’m also kind of scared”

“Ah, you’re going to do great. You’re a genius”

“You think that because I’m smarter than you, but that’s not really difficult babe” she said winking at him

“Hey!” he said standing up and sitting by her side on the other couch “That wasn’t nice missy”

“I wasn’t trying to be nice” she said shrugging

“You’re hurting me Bakkoush”

“Life is tough” she said smirking

“Oh okay…that’s good…that’s fine…guess I’ll have to go to that restaurant tonight alone then” he said as he stood up and made it look like he was leaving

“What restaurant?” Sana said

“Nah, nothing…I was just thinking that since it’s your last Saturday before you start uni again that maybe you wanted to go out with me to a fancy restaurant, but I guess life is tough”

He shrugged and left the room waiting in the hallway for Sana. But Sana was not having it, she knew he would come back so she just lay back on the couch and kept reading her book.

“Are you seriously not going to come?” Yousef asked from the hallway after a minute

“Sorry, can’t hear you”

Yousef shook his head and sighed. He went back to the living room and stayed by the door.

“You were supposed to go after me” he said crossing his arms on his chest

“Why would I do that when I know that you were coming back?” she said not looking up from her book

“Okay, smarty pants, do you want to go out with me tonight or what?” he asked

“If you insist” she said shrugging but smiling at him

He shook his head once more and laughed, that girl was definitely going to be the end of her. Sana laughed too but was interrupted by her phone beeping.

 

“What happened?” Yousef asked seeing Sana’s face “Who was it?”

“Noora, she wants, she needs, to meet me today. Apparently some trouble with William”

“William? I thought they broke up months ago and that this time was for real”

“And that’s exactly why I’m worried. What if he came back again?” Sana said biting her lip

“There’s only one way to find out. Go talk to her”

“But what about our date?” she said

“We will go out tomorrow, it’s okay. Go, your friend needs you”

“You’re the best” she said walking to him and kissing him on his cheek.

 -x-

“So you’re telling me that your big emergency with William is that you accidentally liked a picture of his?”

“It’s a BIG crisis Sana!!” Noora yelled “He’s going to think that I’m not over him and I’m waaay over him!”

“Noora, it’s just a picture”

“It’s not just any picture, it was a picture of him, he’s going to think that I still find him hot”

“But you do still find him hot” Sana said

“Well, I have eyes, but I would never ever date him again and now he’s going to think that I’m stalking him and…”

“Noora! Can you please stop trying to figure out what he’s going to think?” Sana said placing her hands on Noora’s shoulders.

“I’m freaking out here! I need to do something to calm me down…let’s go shopping!”

“What? shopping? Now?”

“Yes, let’s go find some clothes and let’s get beautiful and walk down the streets like we own the world”

“Noora…you seriously need some help”

“Please Sana, please, please, please”

“Ah…fine!”

 

 -x-

Sana shook her head as she entered her house later that evening. Somehow Noora had convinced her to buy the white dress she was wearing now and match it with a light pink hijab. She wasn’t going to lie, she felt really pretty but what was the point? She was entering her house ready to take a shower and change into her pj’s. But she had had fun with Noora, she had to admit that, even though she would’ve wanted to go on that date with Yousef.

As Sana closed the front door behind her she started to hear some music, Siste gang was sounding.

“Hello?” she asked but no one answered.

All the lights of the house were off. She started to walk down the hallway and when she looked at the floor she saw flowers, flowers leading her way to the backyard. She smiled to herself, there was only one person dorky enough to do that.

She entered the backyard and smiled at the view. Yousef was waiting for her, white shirt and light trousers, no snapback on his head. There was a table set up with candles and somehow he had managed to bring music to the place.

“What is this?” she asked as she approached him

“You really thought you were going to get rid of me?” he said.

“You look beautiful”

“Thank you, it was Noora’s idea”

“I know” he said with a smirk

“What?”

“I may or may have not been the one who told Noora to distract you today so I could make this”

“So the restaurant thing was all false?”

“Why go to a restaurant when we can bring the restaurant here” he said pointing at the table “I made your favorite”

“You’re unbelievable”

“And this is just the start” he said

 -x-

After they finished dinner they just stayed there talking about nothing and everything and looking at each other. The music had continued sounding and at this point a new song began, I feel it coming by The Weeknd.

“Oh my god remember when you caught me dancing this song?”

“I’ll always remember it as one of the best moments of my life. The look in your face was priceless” Sana said laughing

“I was so embarrassed, I had a crush on you since forever”

“You were extremely cute”

“Cute huh? Let’s see if I still have the moves”

He stood up and started to dance to the rhythm of the music making Sana laugh with every facial expression he made.

“Okay, okay, enough with the laugh” Yousef said changing to the next song

Sana’s face lit up as she heard the first notes of Kiss me by Ed Sheeran. Yousef smiled back at her and offered his hand.

“Can I have this dance?”

Sana took his hand and stood up. He put his other hand on her waist and brought her close while she rested her hand on his shoulder. They swayed to the rhythm of the music, both lost in each other’s eyes.

“You know you’re the best thing of my life, right?” Yousef whispered

“So are you”

“I can’t picture my life without you, Sana”

“You don’t have to”

“And I know this year is going to be really important to you and I want to be there for you and once you finished I want us to celebrate”

“Well, that’s what the graduation is for” she chuckled

“Yes, but I want us to celebrate more than that, I want us to celebrate our love and the start of a new life together”

“What are you talking about” she asked confused

“Sana, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And you’re probably going to hate me for this but I’m going to do it the cheesy way”

He took a step backwards letting go of her and put his hand on his pocket

“Yousef…”

He got down on one knee and showed her a little box.

“Sana, will you marry me?” he asked opening the box to show her a ring

Sana gasped in shock and covered her mouth with her hand.

“Is that a…?”

“YES! It’s a yes! Yes, yes, yes of course I’ll marry you” she said with tears in her eyes

Yousef smiled widely at her as he slipped the ring on her finger while she kept nodding. She grabbed his shirt and made him stand up before wrapping her hands around his neck in an embrace. Yousef hugged her back and lift her off the floor slightly.

“I love you so much” she said as he left her on the floor

“And I love you, my love” he said kissing her forehead softly.

“Do you think our parents will be okay with this?” she asked hesitantly

“I think that it’s safe to say that they like the idea” Yousef said placing his hands on her shoulders to turn her around.

In the door that led to the backyard her parents, Yousef’s parents and Elias were looking at them with huge smiles on their faces.

“They knew about this?”

“Of course, I talked to all of them to make sure that they were okay with it”

Sana smiled and walked to her parents to give them a huge hug as Yousef did the same with his.

“Yousef! My man! You’re going to be my brother in law, finally!!” Elias said patting Yousef’s back and hugging him

“So you’re all really okay with this?” Sana asked her parents and Yousef’s

We want you two to be happy, habibti, and that’s what you are when you’re together” her mom said

“We couldn’t be happier, Sana” Yousef’s mom added

“Ah, little sis!” Elias said placing his arm around Sana “I can’t believe that it was right here when you told me that you didn’t like Yousef, what a liar you were. And now you’re getting married to my best friend and you’re about to finish your degree and…”

“Elias, are you crying?” Sana said seeing how his eyes got red

“It’s the allergies, shut up”

Sana laughed and took a moment to look around, those were the people that she loved the most and they were all here, happy because she, Sana Bakkoush, was finally marrying her soulmate, Yousef Acar.

BONUS (YOUSEF’S INSTAGRAM)

(I know they kind of suck, sorry!)

————————-x————————-

Prompt:

Hello! First of all I wanted to tell you what a great writer you are! Then I wanted to ask you if you could write something about Yousana’s engagement night (like the night they make it official with their parents)… thanks in advance!

Hi! I have a Yousana future prompt for you, don’t worry about the time it’ll take you to write it, I’m in no rush… prompt: Sana and Yousef decide that they want to get married (what I mean is they are ready for the “next step” in their relationship)

(this probably wasn’t what you wanted, I’m sorry!)

Hope you’ve liked it!

Thanks for reading!!

anonymous asked:

5,12,55

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take are of you?

idek who i like anymore.

12. What are your 5 favortie songs right now?

holy shit okay… in no particular order:

The Cure- Lady Gaga

No Such Thing as a Broken Heart- Old Dominion

Just In Case- Conor Maynard

F.F.F.- Bebe Rexha ft. G-Eazy

U.N.I- Ed Sheeran

(that was so hard omg)

55. Favorite Blog?

how dare you? that’s so hard omg. i’m gonna go by fandom bc there are so many. (ily guys sm even if we don’t talk!!) (also, this is a side blog so i follow you on @i-am-never-getting-my-life-back ) be sure to follow all of them; they’ll make your day, i promise :)

Youtube:

@iheartmyyoutubers @wroetoredman @jackmaynardwifey @cursivesugg  @thatchermaynardimagines @line-sidemen  @vintagesugg  @maynardmayhem @phangirlingforphan @cafephan

Harry Potter:

@@lumosinlove @trjwizard @hp-headcanon @scarheadcanons @actuallydrarry @drarrytalks

13rw/riverdale/anything ross butler tbh:

@jeff-deserves-better @reginatkins @fuckyoumontgomery @mantlelificent @mantlemagic @sunny-styles @ooooomahama @liamrabnud @bandstripper

5sos/1d/larry:

@5sowoc @let-the-bands-take-c0ntrol @meowcalumhood @candouredcalum @daintylouis @larryftdua @larrydagger @kindofsharethat  

i didnt know where to put you bc ur a lil bit of everything/ur like the only blog in a category and i didnt want to make this post longer than it is:

@mygayisshowing @milominderbindered @evaschistad @67chevy-imagine @lokiscreen @heathledgerdaily @ao3feed-gallavich @cluelesshavoc

i am so sorry this is super long but you asked and i couldn’t just put one blog lol… if you made the list, i most likely check your blog everyday and/or have your post notifications on so cheers :) 

Snooping on your playlist

I was tagged by the mom @sherlockaddictfan , thank youu^^ (get ready bc I’m gonna hit you so hard with that kpop shit eheh)

Rules: put your music library on shuffle and post the first 10 tracks.

Okay, here it goes: 

- Save myself by Ed Sheeran

- Whalien 52 by BTS

- Adore u by Seventeen

- Light by Sleeping at last

- We don’t believe what’s on tv by Twenty one pilots

- Flower by Topp Dogg

- Smoke and mirrors by Imagine Dragons

- Lets not fall in love by BigBang

- Play ugly by AKMU

- Spring day by BTS

Tag: @mydailycraziness7 @skylophosaurus @another-army-blog @kvroo @gangstakaashi @birbtuxedos @doitforsuga @cutietetsu @milky-waee @dii-o

Only if you want to do this!!

I don’t just have my favorite song.

there is,

my song

my jam

my anthem

my signature number

my tune

my golden oldie

my rock out in my room song

my nobody can kill my mood no matter what song

my let’s annoy my family by constantly singing it song

Hey Guys/Roadies!
Let me tell you the way I’ve met these five amazingly talented boys. I remember I was looking for Galway Girl (by Ed Sheeran) covers because in this time I listened to this song day and night. So the first song I’ve heard by them was Galway Girl and when I found their cover I just can’t stop listening it. Their voices give me life and whenever I feel bad I just have to listen their songs/covers or watch their vlogs and my mood is better than ever. Don’t Hurt Yourself is my personal favourite song by them because this song is about how many scars and pain have some people got. Everybody has ups and downs but oneday everything will be okay, just hold on. So it was my story about how I met them and why I love and admire them that much. 

 Only three weeks ago I started this tumblr as a daily blog about RoadTrip. Today (june 18th) this blog reached 100 followers. In my opinion it’s a really big milestone for this blog. I cannot thank you enough this guys, it’s such a pleasure and I’m endlessly grateful for you all! I’m also very happy that there are more and more Roadies on Tumblr, see today we’ve become 100 together. A hundred Roadies on Tumblr. Still can’t believe it.

I hope the boys will stay as amazing as they’re now and I also hope more and more people will become a Roadie, because this fandom is the most amazing. So, in this post I just wanted to thank you all your support and everything. We’re in a big big family together, we’re all Roadies and this blog is for you, for RoadTrip and for the Roadies all over the world. Thank you so much. ❤️

#RoadieForever

My Sad Playlist

If your sad you need this playlist. It will succeed in making you more sad and relieving your sadness at the very same time…

- Can’t Help Falling In Love//Twenty One Pilots
- I’m Not Okay// My Chemical Romance
- The “I” In Lie//Patrick Stump
- The (After) Life Of The Party
- I Wanna Be Yours//Arctic Monkeys
- Northern Downpour//Panic! At the Disco
- Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)//Green Day
- Disenchanted//My Chemical Romance
- Fluorescent Adolescent//Arctic Monkeys
- Burn//The Pretty Reckless
- She Will Be Loved//Maroon 5
- Wake Me Up When September Ends//Green Day
- Demons//Imagine Dragons
- Give Me Love//Ed Sheeran
- Boulevard Of Broken Dreams//Green Day
- Famous Last Words//My Chemical Romance
- A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Kiss Me//Fall Out Boy
- You//The Pretty Reckless
- I Will Wait//Mumford & Sons
- Migraine//Twenty One Pilots
- I Don’t Love You//My Chemical Romance
- Millenia//Crown The Empire
- The Only Exception//Paramore
- All Of The Stars//Ed Sheeran
- Laura Palmer//Bastille
- One For The Road//Arctic Monkeys
- The Past//Never Shout Never
- Bleeding Out//Imagine Dragons
- Sunburn//Ed Sheeran

i am not afraid to keep on living // a playlist for those in recovery. words and songs alone cannot save you, but they sure as hell can help.

Listen Beyoncé / Misguided Ghosts Paramore / This Is Gospel Panic! At the Disco / Where I’m Gonna Be Artist Vs Poet / This Year Meghan Tonjes / Recovery James Arthur / Warrior Demi Lovato / Battle Scars Paradise Fears / Life Support RENT / Famous Last Words My Chemical Romance / The Age Of Worry John Mayer / Go the Distance Hercules / Not Alone Darren Criss / Last Hope Paramore / Even My Dad Does Sometimes Ed Sheeran / Falling Slowly Once the Musical / Skyscraper Demi Lovato / You’ll Be Okay A Great Big World / The Best That You Can Be Artist Vs Poet

lionheart || the inquisitor & the commander

i. the devil’s tears - angus & julia stone / ii. i see fire - ed sheeran / iii. foolish love - allman brown / iv. heaven - claire guerreso / v. king and lionheart - of monsters and men / vi. the fires - james & the wild spirit / vii. i love you (cover) - woodkid / viii. wicked game (cover) - chris isaak / ix. nara - alt-j / x. stole you away - benjamin francis leftwich 

{listen}

Small Bump- Nate Maloley Imagine

Okay this is going to be based off the song Small Bump- by Ed Sheeran and it’s gonna be kind of sad. 

This one is for anon I hope you like it! If you want one just request and I promise I’ll have it out!

Request: Can you do a Nate imagine off of the song small bump by Ed sheeran and Nate gets a tattoo of the baby girls name? 

You’re just a small bump unborn, in four months you’re brought to life,
You might be left with my hair, but you’ll have your mother’s eyes,
I’ll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as I can,
But for now you’re scan of my unmade plans,
A small bump in four months you’re brought to life

“Nate, I need to talk to you. It’s important.” You said sitting next to your boyfriend on the couch. He put his phone down and looked down at you seriously. “Is something wrong? Whatever it is, I can fix it, I promise.” He said nervously. “It’s not that Nate, I’m not leaving you.” You laughed. “Then what is it?” He asked. You looked at him for a minute, smiling, “I’m pregnant.” You said. Nate looked at you seriously for a minute before a smile erupted across his face. “You’re pregnant?” He shouted. You nodded. For month’s you and Nate had been trying to have a baby only to be met my a negative test result. But this time, it was positive, you and Nate we’re going to have a baby. “I love you so much.” He whispered before placing kisses all around your face. “We’re going to have a family, I can’t wait.

I’ll whisper quietly, I’ll give you nothing but truth,
If you’re not inside me, I’ll put my future in you

After Nate found out he brought you up to the bedroom that the two of you shared. He layed you down in the bed and plopped himself next to you. “Hi baby. This is your daddy, Nate. I know you’re very very small right now and maybe can’t here me but I love you so much already. Ever since your mom said those two words, I’m in love with you. I wonder what you’re going to be. If you’re a girl you’re going to be as beautiful as you mom. You’ll probably have the same beautiful green eyes and freckles all over your face. You’re going to be my princess and you’re never going to be able to date a guy. But if your a dude, me and you get to do all the cool guy things. I can teach you everything I know and maybe even show you how to pick up hot chicks like your mom.” Nate said to the baby. You smiled at every word he said and couldn’t wait for what the future could hold.

You are my one and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
Oh, you are my one and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
And you’ll be alright.

Every single night, Nate would talk to the baby. He always had something new to say. “The real world is scary, as soon as you come out everything will change, but I just want you to know that you will always have your mom and I. If you ever get scared we’re here for you. I love you so much!

Oh, you’re just a small bump unknown, you’ll grow into your skin.
With a smile like hers and a dimple beneath your chin.
Finger nails the size of a half grain of rice,
And eyelids closed to be soon opened wide
A small bump, in four months you’ll open your eyes.

You were now five months pregnant and it was finally time to find out the gender of your baby. It was later then usually gender reveals, but with Nate always on tour it was hard. It was something that you knew he wanted to be there for, so you waited. You knew inside that Nate wanted a girl. Even though he never admitted it, he would love to have a little girl run it around. One that he could spoil and at the same time be protective of her. You knew it would be daddy’s little girl. You would be happy with either gender, as long as your baby is healthy. You went to your ultrasound, the anticipation killing you as you got closer and closer to the doctors. "Well I’m happy to inform you that your baby is healthy.” She said. “Okay now, it’s time for what I know you guys have been waiting for.” She said as she moved the wand around. “Congratulations! You’re going to be having a little girl!” She cheered. You looked over at Nate who was smiling ear to ear. She walked out of the room “We’re going to have a daughter!” Nate yelled.

And I’ll hold you tightly, I’ll tell you nothing but truth,
If you’re not inside me, I’ll put my future in you

“Are you sure everything is okay?” Nate asked as held your hair back. You threw up whatever was in your stomach from the night before. The morning sickness had returned which sucked as you thought you left everything behind in your first trimester. “I’m fine, just a little sick.” You replied. You flushed the toilet and went back to the bed where you planned on spending most of your day. “Can I get you anything. Are you thrifty? Hungry?” He asked. “Considering I just threw everything up, I’m not hungry. Maybe I’ll get some water.” You said starting to stand up. “I got it.” Nate said exiting the room. “Ice or no ice?” He asked poking his head back into the room. “Ice please.”

You are my one and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
Oh, you are my one and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
And you’ll be alright.

Tonight you had fallen asleep early, really early. Nate hadn’t bothered to wake you up as you were tired from carrying a baby around all day. Eventually you felt the bed dip down meaning Nate had gone to bed. You heard him whispering to the baby since you were sleeping. Eventually he said goodnight and went to sleep himself. Later in the night you woke up to Nate shouting. “Please Y/N I’m sorry, please done take her. Please.” He yelled. “Nate.” You said. “Nate.” You repeated. You guessed that it was him sleep talking. You turned on the light next to the bed and gently shook Nate awake. He opened his eyes and tears immediately began to fall. “Are you okay?” You asked. “It was just a nightmare.” He said. “Well you’re crying.. Tell me about it.” You said. “Y/N..” He began. “Nate tell me about it.” You repeated. “It was just that I had a dream that I did some horrible things and you and the baby left. You guys are my everything and if you two left I would have nothing.” He said. You wiped the tears from under his eyes. “Well that is never going to happen, so please don’t worry.” You said planting a kiss on his head. You shut the light off and closed your eyes. “What if I’m not a good father?” He asked. “Nate, I know you’re ready to be a father, frankly I don’t know someone who is more ready than you. You are excellent to kids and you love this little girl so much. I promise.” You whispered.

And you can lie with me,
With your tiny feet
When you’re half asleep,
I’ll leave you be.
Right in front of me
For a couple weeks
So I can keep you safe.

There were only a few more months until the baby would come. You and Nate had finished the nursery and had even chosen a name. You daughter was going to be named Ava. Nate was still making music and still there for you whenever you needed him to. Nate has been a real trooper the last few weeks. As your pregnancy progressed so did your hormones and you could be quite a grouch sometimes.  

‘Cause you were just a small bump unborn for four months then torn from life.
Maybe you were needed up there but we’re still unaware as why.

Everything seemed like it was going perfectly until one night when you woke up to go to the bathroom. You looked down to see what looked like the beginning of your period. “Nate!” You yelled as tears began to fill your eyes. He came rushing into the room and his eyes widened as he saw you. “Oh my god.” He said with his hand over his mouth. “We need to get you to the hospital.” He said. He took your hand and gently guided you to the car. You cried the entire way and you and Nate didn’t say anything to each other. You and Nate had read all the books, blood was a sign of a miscarriage. When you got to the hospital, they immediately began running all the tests on you. They took your blood and did ultrasounds but didn’t tell you what was going on. You sat in the room, the only noise was the two of you sniffling. Your doctor walked in with a clipboard in her hand and an expression on her face that you never want to see. “I’m sorry to say, but you lost the baby.” You instantly burst into tears burying your head in your hands. Nate rushed to your side and rubbed your back trying to sooth you. You had lost your baby girl.

                                                        ……

“Are you sure you want to do this?” You asked looking at the sign of the tattoo parlor. “I have to do this.” Nate said getting out of the car and heading towards the entrance. “Hi what can I help you guys with?” The owner asked. “I want to get a tattoo of my daughters name.” Nate said. “Okay, if you just come back here then we can get you started.” He said. You followed the two of them to the back of the shop. “Where are you thinking about getting the tattoo?” He asked. “My chest.” Nate said. He took of his shirt and layed down on the table.

“So how old is your little girl?” He asked as he prepped the needle. You were both silent. “Actually, she’s not with us.” Nate said. “We had a miscarriage right before she was born, that’s why I’m getting this tattoo.” He said. “Oh my I am so sorry I didn’t know.” The artist said. You sat in the chair next to Nate holding his hand as the needle ran across his chest. Nate squeezed your hand gently as the pain increased. “You know this is supposed to be the other way around. Your supposed to be in the bed and I’m supposed to be holding your hand. But instead that bed is supposed in the hospital and we should be meeting our baby.” Nate said. You watched as your daughters name was tattooed across his chest.

“Does it look good?” Nate asked. “It looks beautiful.” You replied. When the guy was done you both admired the tattoo. Ava Maloley was written right over his heart with some angel wings on either side. “This is for you baby girl.” Nate said.

I'm okay! (Trust Me)

You’re not okay, and that’s okay

- I’m Not Okay (I Promise)//My Chemical Romance

- The “I” in Lie//Patrick Stump

- Disenchanted//My Chemical Romance

- The (After) Life Of The Party//Fall Out Boy

- Northern Downpour//Panic! At the Disco

- Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)//Green Day

- Famous Last Words//My Chemical Romance

- Wake Me Up When September Ends//Green Day

- Burn//The Pretty Reckless

- She Will Be Loved//Maroon 5

- Demons//Imagine Dragons

- Give Me Love//Ed Sheeran

- Boulevard of Broken Dreams//Green Day

- I Don’t Love You//My Chemical Romance

- A Little Less Sixteen Candles A Little More Touch Me//Fall Out Boy

- Growing Up//Fall Out Boy

- You//The Pretty Reckless

- I Will Wait//Mumford & Sons

- Millennia//Crown the Empire

- The Only Exception//Paramore

- All of the Stars//Ed Sheeran

- Laura Palmer//Bastille

- One For the Road//Arctic Monkeys

- The Past//Never Shout Never

- Bleeding Out//Imagine Dragons

- Sunburn//Ed Sheeran

- I Wanna Be Yours//Arctic Monkeys

Listen

Who you are - Jessie J (Ed Sheeran cover)

Don’t lose who you are
in the blur of the stars.
It’s okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it’s hard
to follow your heart.
Tears don’t mean you’re losing.
Everybody’s bruising.
Just be true to who you are.

Burshing my hair,
do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do
to fit the mold.
The more I try,
the less it’s working.
When everything
inside me
screams
no…
Don’t lose who you are
in the blur of the stars.