Pacific Ocean To Close In 2018
The world’s largest ocean, after being open for almost 750 million years, will end its run in July of 2018. Pacific Spokesman Roland Haphausenhauer cited over-fishing, pollution, and the bad global economy as the reasons for the closure.
“This is the end of quite an era,” said the spokesman, “We tried to keep the Pacific going as long as we could but the fact is, it’s just not profitable and it’s just no longer rewarding work for those responsible.” The Pacific has seen several hundred lay-offs in recent years, with the ocean becoming less popular with tourists and new businesses. Now over 30 billion USD in debt, the ocean will file for bankruptcy and close its shores forever.
The effects will be long lasting as ships fall to the dry ocean floor, weather and water concerns go haywire, and many countries bordering the ocean dry up and their people flee in search of water. Said Japanese oceanographer Noriyuki Honjo, “Japan as we know it is essentially over with this news. Much of our economy is based on fishing, most of our contact with other countries happens by sea. With no Pacific Ocean, our land is doomed.” Most other island nations have expressed similar fears.
This is the largest geographical closure since the breakup of Pangea, a supercontinent that comprised most of the world’s landmass well into the Mesozoic, when it was hit with an antitrust lawsuit and was forced to break into smaller continents.