anonymous asked:

Your myth retellings always make me giggle. Could it be possible for you to do Echo or Narcissus? If not it cool, just wondering. Thanks again for making my days brighter. *hugs*

Sweet summer child, that is absolutely something that I can do! 

Anyone who wants to skip a poorly retold story of a ludicrously hot young asshole and a woman who is cursed to accidentally hit on people should press J on their keyboard now, as this is a long post. Historical / literary info under the Read More!


Our story begins with the birth of a beautiful, bouncing baby boy. Well, actually, our story begins with a man named Teiresias, who used to be a woman who used to be a man and was cursed with blindness by Hera and blessed with prophecy by Zeus for daring to say that women enjoyed sexy times more than men, but that’s another myth for another day.

Anyway, back to the adorable bundle of joy. One day, this baby’s mother, a smoking hot nymph named Liriope, goes over to old man Teiresias and asks him “you’re old as balls, will my sweet baby Narcissus grow to be as old as you?” and Teiresias nods sagely and says “yeah, he’ll be fine to claim a state pension, as long as he never comes to know himself, if you get what I mean” and Liriope just shrugs and says “I actually have no idea what you mean, but I’m sure I’ll find out” and Teiresias does a really enigmatic thing with his arms and says “but you have to find yourself first” and Liriope frowns and she’s like “is that part of the prophecy, or” and Teiresias is like “look, lady, I don’t even want this job, just let me have some fun with it” and Liriope looks at him really strangely and walks away with her ridiculously adorable baby. 

16 years later, that adorable baby boy is no longer an adorable baby boy, because that is how time works. Instead, Narcissus is a tantalisingly hot piece of man. It’s actually ridiculous how attractive he is. All over the realm, there are literally hordes of women and scores of dudes just overheating with lust for his perfectly sculpted cheekbones and the way his hair curls alluringly at the nape of his neck. There is no way of exaggerating just how incredibly, incredibly good-looking this guy is. Imagine every single beautiful thing you’ve ever seen: a rose-hued dawn; an oil-slick sea under a sky threaded with silver; a full box of pizza with the steam still rising off it. Narcissus is all of those things and more. Unfortunately, he’s also a massive arsehole. Whenever one of the millions of girls and boys who want to climb him like a tree eventually plucks up the courage to tell him, he just gags and pretends to throw up, and then starts laughing until they leave in floods of noisy tears, and then he shakes his head and says something like “my wit is as sharp as my cheekbones” and then he high fives himself, because he has embraced a poetic kind of solitude and also it’s hard to make friends when you’re that much of a vain dick.

Narcissus lives on Mount Kithairon, near a forest because he’s basically Snow White apart from the hideous personality defects. In these woods there also lives a nymph named Echo. Echo lays eyes upon Narcissus one day while he’s out frolicking in a manly fashion in the woods, and being a sentient being with both eyes and a pulse, she immediately falls in love and starts fantasising about getting married to him and having his genetically superior children and maybe getting a mortgage and living in wedded bliss until their kids leave for college and the love dies. However, there’s a slight hitch in her plan, and that’s the incredibly inconvenient curse that was placed on her a while ago by Hera.

Around the time Narcissus was first growing beautiful golden tufts of hair under his armpits and staring lustfully at inanimate objects, Echo was playing wingman to Zeus. Basically, Zeus would pick up a honey with legs up to their armpits and an apparent incapability of experiencing basic fear, seeing as Hera, Zeus’ wife, has a really bad habit of viciously murdering and maiming Zeus’ lovers and their extended families. Anyway, when Zeus picked up his saucy companions, he’d go and find Echo and be like “yo, if Hera comes looking for me, can you distract her? I’ll need, like, ten minutes max, you can totally do it, I have complete faith in your bullshitting abilities” and Echo would be like “if I decline, you’ll fry me to death with a lightning bolt, won’t you” and Zeus would say “got it in one, sweet-cheeks, now go and talk to my wife about the political situation in Crete or some shit like that, I don’t know what women talk about these days apart from how good I look in these jeans” and then he’d bugger off and go and make sweet, adulterous love to his latest squeeze, probably in the form of an animal, because that’s how Zeus rolls.

This arrangement worked like a charm for a while, until one day Hera suddenly remembered that actually, she wasn’t a total fucking idiot, and she immediately caught on to what Echo was doing. Echo was like “look, Zeus made me do it, it was a choice between joining his clique or joining his hit-list and honestly I regret the choice I made” and Hera just raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow and said “damn straight you should, you’re on my hit-list now and trust me, my hit-list is way worse than his, for a start I don’t give gift bags” and Echo tries to say something like “you don’t even get a gift bag when you join his clique, what a scam” except what actually came out of her mouth was “give gift bags”, and then Hera cackled evilly and she was like ”I am so diabolical and attractive, good luck helping Zeus distract me now when all you can do is repeat the last few words you hear!” and Echo was like “words you hear” and Hera nodded and said “yeah, words you hear, now run along and tell my husband… oh, I don’t know, I guess just tell him whatever he tells you, seeing as that’s all you can do” and Echo was like “you can do” and Hera just grinned and said “damn straight I can do, I’m the fucking head honcho around here, now run along” and Echo, more humiliated than Hades at a marriage counselling session, ran off and hid in the woods, probably mournfully howling “run along” as she did so, and that was that.

So, back to the present day and the slammin’ bod of Narcissus. Echo, as previously mentioned, totally wants to cut herself a generous slice and serve it for all three courses, but as it turns out, it’s pretty hard to flirt successfully when your pick-up lines are limited to ceaseless repetition, and the object of your affection is about as talkative as post-Apollo Daphne. Therefore, Echo spends most of her days creeping around the place, staring at Narcissus’ abs.

One day, Narcissus is taking some time out of his busy schedule of being devastatingly attractive and being insanely easy on the eye, and he decides to take a masculine stroll down past the river. Echo follows him, because apparently boundaries aren’t a thing in Ancient Greece, and after a little while, Narcissus gets hopelessly lost, because apparently a sense of direction isn’t a thing in Ancient Greece either. While she’s following him, Echo makes a sound, and immediately shit goes down.

Terrified, like a woman who’s just come face to face with Hera, Narcissus is like “is anybody there?” and Echo is like “shit, shit, I fucked up, I fucked up everything”, except what she actually says is “is anybody there?” and Narcissus rolls his eyes because he’s 16 years old and being teased is his second worst thing ever, after his mum going into his bedroom without his permission, and he says “well, no fucking shit, obviously there’s someone here, I literally just asked you that” and Echo is like “asked you that” and Narcissus grits his pearly, perfectly aligned teeth and says “I’m going to knock your block off, just you come here” and Echo is like “you come here” and Narcissus shakes his wonderfully glossy mane and he’s like “no, you come here” and Echo decides fuck it, enough is enough, and she leaps out of the bushes and beams manically and cries “come here!”, and she’s so overcome with lust at seeing him close-up in high definition that she can’t stop herself from throwing her arms around his neck and basically fawning all over him, living the absolute dream.

For 10 seconds, anyway, because Narcissus is totally grossed out by this creepy girl touching him, and he shoves her off and he’s like “whoa, whoa, sweetheart, don’t touch what you can’t afford, you’re not invited to enjoy this body” and Echo just silently wills him to say something else, anything else so that she doesn’t have to repeat that, but Narcissus just stands there and looks at her and so Echo sighs and says “enjoy this body” and Narcissus wrinkles his adorable and yet rugged button nose and says “I don’t want to enjoy your body, I thought I made that like really clear” and Echo nods forlornly and says “really clear” and then she just runs away, because avoiding conflict is another of her trademarks.

Over the next few months, Echo continues her creepy stalking addiction, and eventually she literally wastes away from sadness, because as we all know, a woman is nothing without the love of a man. Luckily her consciousness remains, and so she’s still able to follow Narcissus around like a bad smell. Unluckily, this means that she gets to watch Narcissus act like a total fucking douche about a hundred more times, just rejecting all these well-meaning people who want to maybe stroke his face a few times and have him tell them that they’re pretty, and eventually, one rejected nice guy decides that enough is enough. His manly pride wounded, he raises his fist to the sky, probably knocking off his fedora in the process, and says “Narcissus has friend-zoned one too many of us! I hope the fucker falls in love one day with someone who’ll never love him back. Then he’ll know what it’s like to live under the cruel haze of inadequacy, or something like that. I am so alone.”

So, a few days later, Narcissus is out hunting in the woods with a group of his less attractive bros, and he suddenly realises how thirsty he is. Actually thirsty, that is. It’s not euphemistic. So he jumps gracefully off his trusty steed and goes to the nearest spring, and he’s about to take a nice long sip of water when he spies this goddamn vision of loveliness in the spring, and immediately he’s just like “oh my days, this must be what love feels like, or perhaps it’s just teenage arousal, but either way, I want to get on that” and so he just sits there, staring into the spring, saying stuff like “babe, your hair is like spun silk, I could run my hands through it and give you a scalp massage at the same time because that’s the kind of boyfriend I’d be”, but the image in the water doesn’t respond and Narcissus is like “this must be how all those people I rejected felt, don’t make me feel empathy, just love me” 

but obviously, the image doesn’t reply because it’s just Narcissus’ fucking reflection, and this entire time Echo is just watching him like ‘holy shit, and to think this is the man I’m in love with, he’s certainly something to look at but there’s absolutely jack shit going on upstairs’. At one point, Narcissus leans in to try and give the hot boy in the pool a cheeky smooch, and the water is disturbed and the reflection fades away, and Narcissus panics and he’s like “whoa, whoa, I’m sorry, I moved too fast, we can take it slow, baby, just come back to me” and the water stills again and the reflection returns and Narcissus smiles wanly and says “this is enough for me, baby, we don’t ever have to touch, just let me look at you” and by god, does he look. For weeks, he just sits there like a teenage girl waiting for One Direction ticket announcements, staring into the spring and sighing wistfully.

Eventually, he just starts to waste away staring lovelorn at his own reflection. Instead of doing the normal thing and doing things that are necessary for life, such as eating, he literally just lies by the water and stares at himself, because Narcissus is nothing if not committed. He’s so committed that he ultimately ends up dying, because that’s the sort of thing you should be willing to do for love. With one last melodramatic sigh, he whispers “I just don’t get it, I’m a hot hunk of beefcake, everyone else wanted me but you… farewell” and then he just keels over and dies the lamest death that anyone has ever died. Echo, who’s been doing her usual routine of standing unnervingly near and watching, says “farewell”, which for once is not an inappropriate thing to say and would probably make a really great line of dialogue in a Nicholas Sparks novel, and then she watches as his body turns into a bed of fucking white and yellow flowers, because if anyone’s corpse is going to do that, it’s Narcissus’. 

Somewhere, probably in a strip-club far away, Teiresias says “I fucking told you so”.

More mythological goodness can be found herehere and here. The latter two links also allow you to follow my progress in writing a whole actual book. Thrilling.

Keep reading


Echo and Narcissus

Echo, a woodland nymph who was cursed to only repeat the words of those who spoke to her, fell for Narcissus, who was the most beautiful and haughty of all in his land. Echo longed for his love, but Narcissus felt little interest for anything but himself. Eros, the god of love, saw the smitten nymph and Narcissus as they strolled by a pond, and took aim with his bow so that Narcissus may come to love echo and find happiness. In the moment that the arrow of love pierced his heart Narcissus tripped, and upon seeing his reflection in the pool of water, fell madly in love with himself. 

For my illustration class I recreated the story of echo and Narcissus in the setting of 1600 french court. 

Mythology Meme: (2/6) Muses and or Nymphs ➝ “Echo”
in Greek mythology, a mountain nymph, or oread. Echo offended the goddess Hera by keeping her in conversation, thus preventing her from spying on one of Zeus’ amours. To punish Echo, Hera deprived her of speech, except for the ability to repeat the last words of another. Echo’s hopeless love for Narcissus, who fell in love with his own image, made her fade away until all that was left of her was her voice.

greek mythology/myth picspam series >> echo and narcissus

“One could only be the reflection of other people’s words, and the one could only pay attention to one reflection: his own. None could conquer what they wished for, the love of someone untouchable. Love and grief, when combined, kill the victim slowly, without mercy. Echo’s spirit will talk back to those who visit the mountain where she once lived until the end of days, and those who wander the lake will swear they could see someone staring back at them.”

When she saw Narcissus roam alone in the woods
she was excited at once and secretly trailed,
and the closer she followed the hotter she grew,
as when sulfur is daubed at the top
of a torch and snatches the dancing flames.

Jane Alison, author of Change Me: Stories of Sexual Transformation from Ovid discusses what sex, relationships, and love were like for teenagers in ancient Rome.

Image: Echo and Narcissus, John William Waterhouse. Public domain via Wikimedia Commons.

classics crash course #1 - echo and narcissus


  • Echo was a nymph
  • she was a goddamn chatterbox, but that’s not the problem
  • or is it
  • basically, when zeus was fooling around with other nymphs, echo distracted zeus’ wife, hera, by telling her very long stories
  • hera realised what was going on
  • cursed echo to never speak again, except the last words anyone would say around her
  • (because she was covering for zeus and she was also v annoying according to Ovid)


  • was the son of a nymph, liriope, and a river-god (or so she said)
  • when he was 15, his mom went to a prophet, tiresias, and asked him if narcissus would have a long life
  • tiresias, like all prophets, likes to be vague as hell and fuck with everyone
  • told narcissus’ mom that, if narcissus failed to recognize himself, he would live a long life under the sun
  • ~foreshadowing (the greeks and romans do love a good foreshadowing)

Narcissus and Echo

  • echo sees narcissus one day and has the hots for him
  • have i mentioned that narcissus is incredibly beautiful
  • because he is
  • also a MAJOR DICK
  • so echo can’t speak
  • but narcissus is lost and starts shouting ‘is anyone here’ and so echo can answer him. they start a conversation of sorts, if you can call that a conversation when one of the people involved keeps repeating the end of your sentence. they flirt a bit tbh
  • she finally comes out of the woods and tries to embrace narcissus
  • but he rejects her, ‘i’d rather die than be with you’ because he is a major dick
  • echo then goes in hiding inside a cave, her body shrivels, her bones change to rock and only her voice remains, repeating the last words of the humans forever
  • hence, THE ECHO
  • what happens to narcissus now
  • well he is a dick and he does what he’s done to echo to EVERYONE
  • a youth whom he has disappointed asks the gods to curse him
  • ‘if he should love, deny him what he loves’, he says (yes. he. narcissus is bi as fuck, like p much everybody in greek mythology)
  • and nemesis hears this
  • so narcissus is tired after his hunt, and he sits by a stream to drink a bit
  • ovid offers then this amazing sentence
  • ‘ There as he stooped to quench his thirst another thirst increased.’
  • hilarious
  • anyways, narcissus might be beautiful but apparently he’s thick as a brick
  • so he falls in love with himself, and tries to embrace his reflection AND HE STILL DOESNT UNDERSTAND WHO THAT GUY IN THE WATER IS
  • doesnt seem to understand the concept of water or reflection or any concept whatsoever
  • is convinced that the guy in front of him WANTS HIM because whenever narcissus tries to kiss him, he gets closer too
  • ‘'Tis a strange delusion that is keeping us apart’ IT’S BECAUSE HE’S NOT REAL YOU DUMB SHIT
  • realises he’s going to die but happy about it, ‘we shall be united in death and all that jazz’
  • he starts hitting himself and crying and shit, and finally lies down to die
  • echo weeps for him because she is NICE unlike him who’s a massive pile of steaming shit
  • the naiads weep for him, and all the nymphs
  • as they were about to light his funeral pyre, they realize his body is gone
  • replaced by a pretty and sweet flower, ‘golden and white, the white around the gold’
  • hence, the narcissus
  • and see? he DID live a long life. under the sun. just not. you know. as a human.

Yes but what is the meaning of this story?

  • first of all, etiology
  • a lot of greek myths are used for etiological purpose, i.e. explaining the causes of a natural event (lightning, earthquakes, disease…)
  • here we have both the creation of the echo, and of a flower
  • morale of the story: dont be a self-centered prick
  • you’ll die and turn into a flower
  • don’t be a chatterbox and a liar
  • you’ll die and become a disembodied voice who keeps repeating people’s last words
  • don’t lie to hera to cover zeus’s cheating ass
  • you’ll die
  • overall the lesson to get from this: don’t lie, be nice to people, don’t talk if you have nothing to say

read Ovid’s version here!


John William Waterhouse (1849–1917, England)

Scenes from mythology

Waterhouse was an English painter known for working in the Pre-Raphaelite style, as well as being one of the last exponents of this aesthetic. His artworks are known for their depictions of women from both ancient Greek mythology and Arthurian legend.

The moment Echo saw Narcissus
She was in love. She followed him
Like a starving wolf
Following a stag too strong to be tackled.
And like a cat in winter at a fire
She could not edge close enough
To what singed her, and would burn her.
She almost burst
With longing to call out to him and somehow
Let him know what she felt.
But she had to wait
For some other to speak
So she could snatch their last words
With whatever sense they might lend her.
—  Extract from Ted Hughes’ ‘Echo and Narcissus’, published in Tales from Ovid (1997).