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Client Etiquette: First Contact

If you’re planning on seeing a provider, you’ll have to contact them first. Many providers, including myself, have multiple acceptable forms of communication (email, text, as site inbox, etc) listed prominently in multiple places. This means they can get a lot of contacts in a very short period of time. Here’s a few tips for how to make sure you get a response.

1. Tell me who you are. Whether you text, email, call or whatever, tell me who you are. A nick name or user handle is great; it doesn’t have to be a legal name. For instance: “Hi, this is PapaBear from ECCIE…” maybe you’re not ready for a name exchange or you don’t have a user name. That’s also cool. For instance: “Hi, I saw your ad on BoyToy…” IF YOU CALL
MY PHONE and I don’t answer, it’s probably because I can’t at that moment. Maybe I’m actually busy, or driving, or in public, or around my parents. If I don’t know who you are already, I don’t know what you’re going to say when I answer. Not picking up doesn’t mean I’m ignoring you; it means I can’t answer the phone. Leave me a message and I can get back to you. Being angry that I didn’t answer or call you back if you didn’t leave me any information about who you are makes you look like an assbutt. Here’s a thought: use text. If you text, I can respond fairly quickly unless I’m driving. It doesn’t matter if I’m in public or having brunch with Aunt Eunice. I can also text you back at my convenience without having to play phone tag. I have better things to do with my day.

2. Tell me what you want. The single most irritating thing to see in my inbox is “Hi :)” with literally nothing else. For all I know you’re a three year old who managed to punch enough buttons to send a text. Tell me what you want. For instance “Hi, this is Derrick. I saw your ad on Back Page and was hoping I could see you.” This gives me somewhere to take a conversation. I can move on to important leading questions like “are you interested in an incall or an outcall” or “are you looking for a half hour or full hour session”. An even better contact might be “Hi, my name’s Jacob. I saw your ad on Slixa and I’d love to have you come visit me for an hour or so.” See, now I don’t have to do the leading questions thing because I already know you’re interested in a one hour outcalls. Sending me vague messages with no context is wasting my time. Even if I don’t respond to your smiley, it’s still taken me the 3 seconds to open the message and process that you’re an idiot.

3. Don’t mention money. Unless you are seeking a provider in Vegas, you should probably know that soliciting sex for money is illegal. That’s why ads have suggested “donation rates” or “contributions”. If you do want to ask about rates for something that isn’t listed, ask how many roses would be requested, or state what you’re looking for and follow it with an innocuous question like “what’s your student loan payment”. It doesn’t really matter how you say it as long as it doesn’t sound like “how much money am I giving you to blow me”…because you’re not paying a provider for a sex act. You’re either paying for their company or giving them a gift. In fact many hobbyists leave their donations in something like a birthday or thank you card. I have one client who makes a point to say “I hope this helps with your student loans”, in part because that’s a verbal acknowledgment that he’s not paying me and because he knows I have a shit ton of student loans.

4. If you want a provider to take you seriously as a client, act like a serious client. Your first contact should not devolve into phone sex. Again, you’re not trading money for a sex act, so don’t talk to or about your provider like you are. It’s why providers say things like “I’d love to play” or “I can’t wait to see you” instead of “when can we fuck”. If you want a cheap thrill, have a one night stand. While many escorts do have wild and crazy fun with their clients, they are still classy and professional in their demeanour and presentation. You probably should be too.


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