ebisu and konohamaru

  • Naruto: I am a Leaf village Ninja.
  • Ebisu: Yes, finely trained and skilled in the art of being the village reject. These people you call your comrades, they don't respect you. They don't even see you. Do you honestly expect they'll change their minds?
  • Naruto: I expect I will make them.

So I’m working on the Kakashi’s Wish translation (the time travel comic) and there’s a part where Minato is quoting Hiruzen as saying that a Hokage has to consider every person in the village as his own family, which definitely comes from canon. I don’t believe canon ever calls Hiruzen out for his hypocrisy on this one, especially given that Boruto heavily relies on the theme of “Naruto the Hokage must put the village’s needs above his family’s wants”, but Hiruzen is such a hypocrite on this one.

Why do I say that? Because you can compare the treatment of Konohamaru, the Sandaime’s orphan grandson, to the other orphans in the series, and it’s not even close.

The reader first meets Konohamaru–who gets called “Honoured Grandson”–with his dedicated tutor Ebisu, who was in fact a tokubetsu jounin who specialized in teaching–in short, the person who Konoha considered to be the best teacher in all of Konoha. Ebisu got assigned to Konohamaru when he was just starting out at the academy, to teach him one-on-one. And sure, Konohamaru showed talent, but certainly less than Sasuke did; and one could easily argue that if Ebisu was going to have one-on-one time with anyone, it ought to have been Naruto, who was so massively underperforming considering the potential of his heritage and his chakra pool.

So Konohamaru, the Third’s grandson, got the best teacher in Konoha as his personal tutor, whereas other orphans didn’t get any tutor at all. Plus I will bet you a hundred thousand ryo that Konohamaru didn’t live alone, didn’t have to cook and clean for himself, and didn’t have to budget to be able to afford enough instant ramen to live.

“Everyone in Konoha is like my family”. Hiruzen could be such a great character because he’s such a flawed person, someone who 100% believes his own bullshit and who sincerely thinks he’s doing the right thing. His nickname of “the Professor” is too right because he’s honestly the worst of that kind of ivory tower stereotype that has these lofty ideals and believes in them so passionately but lacks the self-awareness to see how completely he’s failing these ideals in practice. He believes so hard that he’s Kindly Grandpa Hokage, but so many of the worst tragedies of the series are directly traceable to his actions or inactions.

Naruto the series came so close to giving some really powerful examples of how just intending to do the right thing is not enough (Itachi is an even more tragic example). The story shows so clearly how their choices massively backfired that I honestly forget sometimes that the story right to the end seems to think that the only thing that matters is that they were Good Guys Who Did the Right Thing. Don’t look any closer than that, don’t ask yourself if they did have other choices (even if they honestly didn’t perceive any), definitely don’t ask if some of the “wrong” choices wouldn’t have been more moral or had better results than the ones they actually took. (Would the death toll of innocents have truly been higher if Itachi had allied with his clan’s coup? If he had taken out Danzo and his sympathizers covertly to allow Hiruzen and the more moderate elements control? If he had attempted to whistleblow to Konoha at large all the fuckery that was going on? If he had decided “fuck you, fuck you, and especially fuck you, we’re out” and took li’l Sasuke and ran off to another country to open a dango and tomato stand? But I’m getting down a rabbit hole now. [Somebody write me an AU about Itachi and Li’l Sasuke’s Tomato ‘n’ Dango Shoppe.])

IDK if I should tag this hiruzen sarutobi or not? Does this count as character hate? IDK. If there are any Hiruzen fans who feel offended that this is tagged that, let me know and I will remove the tag and/or throw down with you about Hiruzen’s fuckboy-ness at your leisure.

  • Ebisu: If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?
  • Konohamaru: None.
  • Ebisu: Why?
  • Konohamaru: Because the shot scared them all off.
  • Ebisu: No, two, but I like how you're thinking
  • Konohamaru: If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?"
  • Ebisu: The one sucking her ice cream.
  • Konohamaru: No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!
  • Naruto: *laughing*: Old man Ebisu is a pervert~
  • Ebisu: wHAAAT
What's in Icha Icha? Part 2

I know I’ve made a post about this a while back so this will be a part two of the discussion of Kakashi’s beloved books; the Icha Icha series. Okay so I’ve did some researching base on the information that we have from the anime, manga, spinoff series, the characters opinion and ect; The the few that we know.

• it’s perverted (obviously)

• you must be 18 or over to read it

• when Kakashi reads it he ends giggling like a school girl or he gets embarrassed when he has to read the book out loud to people.

• also when over people read or seen the book their ether shock, embarrass, or giggling like Kakashi

  • rated R (obviously)

• the narrator says the book is a little riskquè and catered to a adult audience Some of us have a few ideas when the book is about:

•kinky, hardcore, BDSM and fetish (stuff like that)

•romantic comedy based on relationship and/or dating

•romantic drama based on relationships and/or dating

Also the few characters in naruto that read the book or little parts of it:

•Kakashi (definitely)

•Yamato/Tenzo (seen little parts of the book)

•Naruto (reviewing Jiraiya’s rough drafts)

•Jiraiya (don’t know if he reads his work, but he wrote it so…point)

•Ebisu (he’s reading them in Naruto SD/Rock Lee’s Springtime Of Youth, also he has a lot of porn magazines so I won’t be surprise if he does the Icha Icha series)

•Iruka (maybe??? Oh wait, there was a game when he want to see Icha Icha the movie with Kakashi and Kakashi told him he would lead him the book cause it’s even more better the the movie)

•Hiruzen (not sure, but I bet he does and I won’t be surprise ether)

•Garaa (only reads it to understand romantic relationships)

•Konohahamaru (um, well he knows it’s a dirty book)

•Kabato (he reads it out loud in Naruto Sd/ Rock Lee’s Springtime Of Youth)

• Rock Lee (in spring time of youth when he reads one of the books to help him get a date with Sakura and take to the swimming pool)

That’s an interesting list, don’t you agree? Now there’s two books that I want to talk about but I need to list them.

•Icha Icha paradise

•Icha Icha violence (Kakashi “Hmmm” a lot when he was reading this one)

•Icha Icha tactics (“it’s bigger than I thought” line still cracks me up)

• Icha Icha paradise: the deluxe edition (Jiraiya gives these to Kakashi when he was at the hospital and told him that it will ‘past the time’ and says “if you know what I mean”…I think Kakashi knows what he means; Eww! haha)

•Ero Ero Paradigm

•Icha Icha Strap (in a game and given to by Ebisu)

•Icha Icha Pool time

•Icha Icha Emotion

•Icha Icha Dynamic Okay that’s a lot of books there.

Okay so now that’s out of the way I would like to talk about Icha Icha Pooltime and Icha Icha Dynamic because these give some idea of what the Icha Icha series is about and also there both in Rock Lee’s Springtime Time Of Youth. Icha Icha Pooltime: in episode 15, Kakashi was left in change to fill the pool using Esther style justu for the summer but goes look to for the latest edition of the the Icha Icha series and turns he was gone for weeks looking for the book since every store in the leaf was sold out; turns out Orochimaru and Kabuto bought all the books to thicking the plot in the episode (that’s so evil; don’t take Kakashi’s porn, bad things happen when you mess with his porn) anyways Kabuto deices to read the book and says that the book is some really intense stuff and reads out the line “A co-ed chicken fight wearing only shell swimsuits; suddenly she fell onto his-” and was cut off by Orochimaru (not sure if I should be thanking him or be annoyed) and later in part two of that episode Lee reads the book for help on a date with Sakura at the pool (though he didn’t ask her yet) the book also give tips on dates and that (the secrets of a good pool date). But one of the tips it give makes me feel uncomfortable and that is “An embarrassing, but happy accident; when suits get pulled up or fall off”. Other then that it’s perverted; yes, but no as bad as Icha Icha Dynamic, according to Jiraiya. In episode 46 Jiraiya came across a battle with Kakashi. So he summons one of his books; Icha Icha Dynamic and says it’s his hardcore work yet and deem to graphic to be published. Kakashi couldn’t help himself and wants to read the book (which he did) letting Jiraiya win the fight as he give into temptation…hey at least he got a new that didn’t cost him anything right? (Kakashi seem a little too happy reading Icha Icha Dynamic though, naughty Kakashi heehee) Based on the little information that I’ve got, I think the thing we can agree with is that Icha Icha is very perverted then your standard erotic novels/books. ….. I still want to read it though

(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

Okay, so the stats for Team Konohamaru came out and out of the group, Mitsuki has the most intelligence (165), Sarada in second (145) and Boruto in third (90). Eveything else for Boruto, he’s pretty good. Now, i know people are saying “he’s a prodigy, he’s suppose to be SMART” I mean, a 90 isn’t that bad, it isn’t high or great, higher then Naruto when he was 12 (i think) but, it’s okay. I mean, he has 3 chakra natures and he’s only 12, that’s damn good for a 12 year old lol. Trust me, when he’s older, his intelligence will definitely go up considering Sasuke is his master and Sasuke is smart. So i’m not worried. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE MY SON!!!!

Also, 

Since 2 members of Team Ebisu have a genin team 

Konohamaru - Sarada, Mitsuki, and Boruto 

Moegi - ChouChou. Inojin and Shikadai 

Does Udon have a team? 

if you don’t remember Udon, here’s a picture of him @ chapter 700