azhaiplana  asked:

please stop with these feels you're hurting me

What’s that? you want more?

  • John Murphy grew up loved. Loved so deeply by his parents.
  • That love was taken from him when his father got floated because of HIM. Because HE got sick.
  • The damn medicine wasn’t even what made him better, causing his father’s death to be for NOTHING.
  • His mother spirals down and the love she first showed her child turned to hatred and despair and young Murphy doesn’t know what to do but shit does he TRY to keep them afloat.
  • Young Murphy stealing shit because his mother drowns herself in alcohol but fuck they still need food too.
  • Young Murphy who’s scrawny and easily forgotten and feels like this all is HIS fault
  • Young Murphy who gets beat by his mother regularly both physically and mentally
  • Young Murphy who teaches himself how to cook because his mother and him need food to eat
  • Young Murphy who argues with his mother at rare moments but most of the time lets her shout at him because he feels he deserves this
  • Young Murphy who runs off one day because it’s all too much and the last thing he hears his mother shout after him is that it’s all his fucking fault that his father is dead.
  • Young Murphy coming home to his mother’s dead body and trying to do CPR on her to revive her because fuck she can’t be dead.
  • The love was torn away from him and what happens if first you felt your heart bursting with love and then suddenly it’s all gone?
  • Young Murphy growing silent and cold in the following months because he’s falling into despair himself and feels like he’s losing everything.
  • Murphy finally snapping and setting fire to the arresting officer’s desk as a big fuck you
  • Murphy punching one of the guards in the face before being thrown into skybox at the age of thirteen.

Oh, not to forget all the shit that happens in the show then.