I came home from the mechanic in tears. My cars air conditioner which I thought was going to be a simple fix is actually a pretty complicated one that will cost somewhere between a few hundred and over a thousand dollars- which of course I don’t have. In the meanwhile I can’t drive with the air on at all, and with my job I’m in the car a few hours a day.
And so I got home, tired, sweaty, sad, and hungry. I wanted a big bowl of mac and cheese more than anything. I debated. Mac and cheese was one of my top go to purge foods.
DBT says to avoid things that make you more emotional, but it also talks about using food to self soothe.
This, of course, becomes a grey area for those of us in recovery. Do I avoid the struggle or risk it?
Well tonight for the first time I took a risk. I ate the Mac and cheese despite being upset. I ate mindfully and I allowed myself to enjoy it.
And I didn’t purge :)