In recovery we have all heard how every meal is a battle and that is very true. When first starting and for a long time we have to fight our own thoughts just to eat even the smallest morsel of food that feels “unsafe” or “to fattening”. We struggle to listen to our own hearts and bodies.
The true testament to being fully recovered and free is when the only questions we ask concerning a meal is this:
1. What do I want/feel like eating?
2. Is that option available to me ( through driving or making myself)?
3. Will it satisfy my hunger/cravings?
To often in recovery we trade one obsession for another in the hopes of staying a certain shape or weight. When recovery is really about letting go and finding who we are and what we need/want. Sure many of you eat more than you used to but maybe only when you eat “healthy” or only “if it fits your macros” or only if you still watch your calorie intake so that you don’t gain “too much”. This method is not freedom it’s a compromise. It’s you saying to your Ed that ok I’ll get better BUT…..
The only real recovery is when you can accept that any kind of reasoning with your eating disorder with keep you stuck and you will remain stuck mentally, physically and emotionally till you can free yourself of all ED tendencies and methods. This entails accepting you for you right now and forever and when I say you I mean the you without ED the true you. The one who wants to never count another calorie, the one who would rather paint than workout, the one that misses going out with friends to eat. You are so much more than the shell that contains you. So why spend so much of you time and mental capacity only wording about the outside. What you need to start taking care of is your soul and that is when you will recover.