eating you away

You were the special one
unique and inspiring
your challenges
to be overcome
your spirit
to be unrivalled
inspiring me
to be better
where have you gone?

Frosted over
ice covering
the lies
the deceit
we loved you
still do
would move
mountains
if you asked us
even if you didn’t

We hurt
because you hurt
and it rips us apart
tears falling
like acid
eating away at our skin
but they are inside
breaching our stomach
turning and churning
a fiery worry and anxiety

Scared is an understatement
we are downright terrified
helpless to defend
against the poison
that’s slowly eating
you away
it fucking kills us
to watch it take
the brother we
love so dearly

I can’t say
Fuck You
because it isn’t you
but I can’t hide
the anger
burrowing and consuming me

I don’t know
who to be mad
where to direct
this pain in my heart
I just want
more than anything
for you to be ok.

If you don't have BPD...

You have no idea what it’s like to PHYSICALLY feel your thoughts eating away at you. My head literally aches all the time because I have zero control over my thoughts or my mood swings.

It takes everything in me not to lash out at those I love. Those I know who would be better off without me in their lives, but my fear of abandonment has made me so selfish and I cannot bare the thought of them not being around, so my mask is always on. I can never fully be my true self. And it hurts, it hurts so much and I’m so fucking tired. I’m so tired of the extreme thinking. I’m tired of never being enough. I’m tired of being ecstatic one minute and suicidal the next. I’m tired of overthinking and overanalysing EVERYTHING. I’m tired of the unpredictability and impulsiveness that comes with this shitty disorder. I’m tired of not actually being vacant for pockets of time in my day.

I hate being so dependent and I hate that I know I am? I hate that I’m incredibly self aware and I can see what my illness does to those around me.
I hate being a burden.

I did not ask for this. I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS. And I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I am in chronic pain. The nightmare is constant and it’s never ending.

I Miss You (One Shot)

I Miss You: After weeks of being apart from your boyfriend, Bucky, the distance become a bit too much for you to handle.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Phone sex. Dirty talk. Mentions of past injuries. Graphic details of sex. Porn gifs are used. Super NSFW. (If you’re not comfy with phone sex or anything else listed, keep scrolling.)

A/N: I have no idea where this idea came from, but just know that it’s for a good cause! ;)

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Zodiac Checklist: Libra
  • ☑: Strangers open up to you, people approach you with ease
  • ☑: It may have taken you a long time, if ever, to self amuse, such as getting lunch or seeing a movie alone
  • ☑: Your intelligence can be overlooked or undervalued by many because it surprises others. You are naturally gifted with words and can learn easily
  • ☑: You empathise with your intellect
  • ☑: Many many people tell you how brilliant you are, and how they think the world of you, but on the inside your self consciousness eats away at you
  • ☑: The mere threat of confrontation unnerves you
  • ☑: Because you mean what you say, you think other people do too
All It Takes (two)

Bucky x Reader

Summary: It’s not just Bucky who is miserably lusting after you.

Word Count: 1349 | Rating: R 

Warnings: SMUT. Masturbation, one nsfw gif

A/N: okay, that’s a crappy summary. but I hope the content is good enough for y’all 

also sorry for any typos, i’m on the phone.

Masterlist here

All It Takes Part One

(*gifs are not mine!)


From the moment he stepped into your life, you were aware of what all he could do to you. Bucky Barnes was a walking warning himself, a constant reminder for why you cannot be anyone else’s but his. You are head over heels for him and all he has to do is look at you and throw that sexy smirk along with those twinkling blue orbs and you were done for good.

You find yourself daydreaming about him – a lot, often about his lips, how he would roam them all over your body, pressing gentle feather light kisses on your sensitive skin, leaving goosebumps in his wake. How his perfect lips would mould with yours, sucking all the air from your lungs, leaving them red and swollen. How he’d graze the tip of his nose along the underside of your jawline, breathing you in. He’d connect lips on the column of your throat, biting and sucking bruises and it would take him little to no time in discovering that sensitive spot on your neck which makes you release that sweet harmonious noise.

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A Lesson in Love (The Confrontation)

Summary: (College!AU) In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3,036

A/N: The tag list for this story is officially CLOSED. Also, this one is for Matt, the most fabulous resident I know, and all the other amazing residents who might be reading this.

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - thank you for everything, always

Originally posted by sebjpeg

You sit in silence, nibbling on your bottom lip and tapping your foot against the carpeted floor. You’ve taken your fair share of difficult classes throughout the years, but nothing compares to the discomfort that comes with someone reading something that you’ve written. It’s as if all of your thoughts have been placed under a microscope, leaving every single imperfection out in the open for anyone to see. After taking this writing class, you have a newfound respect for all the authors who are willing to put their work out there.

“I must admit, I was a little apprehensive when you said that you were planning to scrap your initial idea and start afresh,” T’Challa says, carefully lowering your laptop onto the coffee table. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and propping his chin in his hand.

“And?”

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anonymous asked:

Isak eats really unhealthy! While his friends are all eating sandwiches at school he'll eat a bun or a Norwegian waffle. Like boy should not be living by himself, lol. I'm glad even makes him eggs for breakfast. And I wonder if even is good at cooking in general. At least he seems to be taking charge in the kitchen so far. I have a feeling Isak is the kind to just grab a handful of cereal out of the box before

FO’ REAL!! I doubt Isak has had a balanced meal since he ran away from home! And he may very well grab cereal from the box, assuming he has any at home, either way he’s probably forgotten to buy milk.

Even is definitely more interested in cooking than Isak, and given that he has some seasoning tricks to make the food taste better, I imagine he has some culinary talents as well. Isak however, I doubt could cook to save his own life! At least this is what empiric data tells me…

Because of course me being the weirdo I am, I’m physically incapable of speculating about stuff like this without researching and getting all the facts™ first, so I’ve gone through all the times (that I could remember) we’ve seen Isak eating and compiled some data.

In the words of Isak: NU KÖR VI~


We don’t really know anything about Isak’s eating habits at home (in S1). And aside from Even, the only one who’s made food for Isak is Eva. When they were at Jonas’ cabin she made them pasta and tomato sauce

She also treated him to a coffee at one point (not food but still!).

I didn’t remember seeing Isak eat anything in particular in S2, so let’s skip onto S3….

First time we see Isak eating in S3, is the bun you mentioned. We see him tearing the raisin out of the bun, which tells me this is one of those semi-sweet raisin buns. They are delicious but not exactly healthy. (somewhat related: after close inspection I’m 95% sure these are raisin buns with CARDAMOM ❤︎).

Next time we see him eating it’s the cheese toast with ALL THE SPICES and ketchup that Even made him. Not exactly balanced food, but alright for a midday snack imo?

Unfortunately I doubt Isak finished it… when their datehangout got interrupted by guests, you see Isak look down dejectedly at his toasts and tap his thumb against his leg. :( Once Sonja is introduced I imagine Isak made himself scarce.

When Even spends the weekend at Isak’s after Halloween, they must have eaten something. The flatmates didn’t see either of them until Sunday, supposedly, but the mug Even puts ash in suggests to me that Isak probably sneaked out and made them sandwiches & cocoa or smth (that or the mug was already in his room… but one entire day, they’d have to eat) at some point.

Isak isn’t really great at getting breakfast either. That Sunday he literally opens the door, gets asked about Even by Noora and Eskild, and then closes the door again. Wonder how long it took for him to dare venture out… boy must have been starving!

After the painful ‘breakup’ when Isak wasn’t sleeping well, I can’t imagine he was eating so great either. Especially not if you consider the sad sad toast he got from the canteen. One toast with only cheese, it seriously looks just as tired as Isak does!

Of all the foods Isak has bought, the kebab he ate with Jonas is definitely among the healthiest. I imagine he spends most of his allowance/the money his dad sends on snapbacks (he can’t have borrowed all of them!), beer and eating fast food.

Luckily, if it’s down to Even Isak gets to eat a sturdy breakfast. And that’s good considering how Isak hardly seems to be able to get himself breakfast at the flat. (does he even have any food there?) I imagine that Even realized this when he stayed over the previous time, and simply decided to take matters into his own hands, with a little help from the Noora (and Eskild), making Isak scrambled eggs after staying over the second time.

Isak doesn’t join the guys for pizza… but on Friday, Isak waits for Even at the KB. I only saw a coffee cup though, so who knows if he had anything to eat there? Once again Even makes sure they get some food, ordering burgers and champagne (and what looks like cakes? fancy smørbrød?) at the hotel. Isak doesn’t exactly lack appetite at that point ;)

We don’t know what or how he ate the days after… but on Tuesday, we’re back to Isak’s classic diet. He gets a waffle. The guy doesn’t even put jam or anything tasty on it (except whipped cream?). idk what is up with Nissen’s canteen, but stuff looks plain af. (I feel for norwegianall kids who are forced to pay for or bring their own school lunches….)

Now last food Isak prepared (as I am writing this) was a ready-made frozen Grandiosa pizza, which can hardly be considered cooking. And it wasn’t even his (he doesn’t have any food at the flat does he…).

In conclusion (TL;DR):

I doubt Isak knows how to cook. I’m CERTAIN he maintains a horribly unhealthy diet ever since he ran away from home. And I’m hoping that Even’s cooking skills extend beyond breakfast and sandwiches, but honestly I’m fairly certain it does? Even seems comfortable enough in a kitchen to figure it out and make them some healthy food. So with Even in his life…

Hallelujah Isak is saved!!

12 | You’ll Never Walk Alone

BTS + GOT7 X READER [GANG!AU]

WORD COUNT: 5,987

series warnings: mature themes, strong language, violence, substance abuse, eventual smut. this chapter contains graphic content such as violence, torture, death, light smut

Originally posted by younas

masterlist | ask | prev | coming soon


The pounding in your head was unbearable, but it was nothing in comparison to the burning sensation embedded deep inside your nostrils. Your aching body was heavy, almost too heavy to move; it took all your strength to eventually sit up on the bed, your eyes immediately scanning your surroundings in confusion, what had happened? By the looks of things you were in a cheap motel, the garish yellow patterned walls adding more fuel to the fire beneath your temples.

Glancing down you recognised Taehyung’s still body, his face weighed down heavy with sleep as his light snores echoed throughout the sparsely furnished room. Everything was a blur, one moment you were talking to Taehyung in your bedroom and the next, everything was black. Rubbing your eyes to try and adapt to the sunshine beaming through the windows your gaze eventually settled upon a brown glass bottle next to a white rag on the bedside table. Chloroform. The smell became overpowering as memories of a large palm pressing a damp rag over your open mouth played in your mind, that bastard.

“Good morning sunshine.” Sung chuckled before tossing you a box of painkillers, her face emotionless and unreadable, “Sleep well?”

“What’s going on?” You croaked, too proud to swallow one of the painkillers she had offered, instead choosing to hurl them towards her physique with force, “Where’s Jimin?” You barked, just where had Taehyung taken you? However if Sung was around surely your brother would be close by.

At least you hoped.

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The Arrangement (pt 1)

A/N: I’ve always kind of liked reading these arranged marriage scenarios cuz they can get to be a little angsty, and y’all know I’m a sucker for angst. Let me know if you want a part 2, or I’m not going to write it hehe. I don’t think this will end up being 10 parts like IDMI, but ya never know. 


You never thought it would happen to you, but it did. You always imagined falling in love with a boy, dating for a year or two, and finally get married to someone you were sure about. 

But instead, your parents pushed you into a marriage all because of some promise your grandparents had made way back in the past. You didn’t even know about said promise until you were quite literally forced to get engaged to some stranger. 

Your parents tried to ease your way into the marriage, saying you could date this man while you two were engaged. And since you weren’t exactly the best at scoring a date, you thought that maybe this wasn’t so bad. Maybe it would be one of those fateful connections. You thought that maybe you would just happen to fall in love with him while you were engaged.

But if anything, you grew to dislike him. Park Jimin didn’t like you, and he made sure to let you know. Like you, he also didn’t know of the promise between the grandparents. And he was fuming. 

So there were no happy dates. No hand holding, no hugs, and definitely no sweet kisses. You were engaged, exchanged a few short words, and before you knew it, you were getting changed into your white wedding gown. Your friend had to constantly tell you to stop crying because it was going to ruin your makeup. 

You always dreamed of this day. To be the happiest day of your life. But instead, you felt like you were being sentenced to life in hell. Because what else is living with a man who despises you?


A day passes into a week and a week eventually turns into a month. You wished it went by quickly, but each day was incredibly slow. You didn’t even know if the days were passing as each day was the same.

You would wake up, get ready for work, and quickly make a breakfast for you and your “hubby”. He would eat without a word and quickly retreat back to his room. Hell, you didn’t even share a room. Thankfully, the parents bought you a house with a few rooms, allowing you and Jimin to sleep in rooms in completely opposite ends of the house. 

You would leave for work after cleaning up breakfast and after a long day at work, you would come home to an empty house. You don’t really know when Jimin would come home from work, but you made it a habit to always a have a meal waiting for him if and when he came home. 

You rarely talked to each other and the silence was slowly eating you away. You had managed to convince your parents that this was, in fact, a happy marriage to keep them at peace at least. And apparently, Jimin had told his parents the same. 

Some nights, you had to cry yourself to sleep, cursing your fate. But little did you know, that this fateful encounter was one that was going to change your life, more than it had already done so already.


A/N: I know this was kinda vague, but I intended it to be. I promise the next part will be more in detail…if you want a second part that is. Let me know, or I won’t write one! 

Friendly PSA:

Do not keep people in your life who don’t allow you to be yourself. This is something that kept me from loving who I am for years. I would feel bad about every single aspect of myself. They made fun of my sexuality, my goals, my interest, etc. Don’t date them. Don’t keep them as friends. Their words bury into your mind and eat away at you overtime. You deserve people in your life who love you. My life has improved so much from cutting people like that out. If you have to block them do it. Do whatever you need to free yourself from that abusive situation.

Marinette Cake

Marichat May Day 2: Purring

Ao3 Link || Other Works

Summary: Chat Noir was very hungry.

And Marinette smelled nice.

Really, really nice.


Meant to be a short drabble, became longer and lead to an identity reveal. Oh well, it was fun to write. c: Hope you enjoy!


Chat Noir was just going home after a lunchtime akuma, and he was starving. He could feel his energy draining from him, and if it weren’t for the suit, he’d probably be collapsed somewhere, starving to death. Then he would die and his father would be arrested for parental neglect. Ladybug would never know what happened. His classmates would mourn…

Speaking of classmates.

He stopped on top of the school when he caught a glimpse of one Marinette Dupain-Cheng, holding a sack of flour on her shoulders. She and her father seemed to be unloading some sacks from a delivery truck right outside their bakery. He watched as Marinette put down her sack next to a small towering pile and roll her shoulders as she entered the truck to grab another one, passing her father who had one sack on each shoulder.

He whistled as she easily hoisted another one on her shoulders, impressed. He never knew she was that strong. She always looked so small and soft that seeing her easily carry a sack of flour that was half her size and probably twice her weight was quite a nice surprise.

Chat Noir would be a terrible hero if he didn’t go down there to lend a helping paw. Maybe he could ask for a croissant as repayment. Just one. He was just so hungry, and they were nice people so they’d at least give him one, right?

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2

Can we talk about how servers continually get fucked over in the food industry?

I work at a 5 star restaurant & people will come in and get $60-$100 worth of food and leave a couple bills on the table. How can you do that and not have your conscience eat away at you?

I adore every single moment where Ezekiel does literally anything and Jacob gets frustrated about it.

Know Who You Are

Summary: In which you come home and remind Bucky who he is. 

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,081 

A/N: Inspired by Know Who You Are from the Moana soundtrack. This was supposed to be a drabble, but apparently I’m no good at the whole short and sweet thing. 

@avengerstories - you’ll forever be my editing hero

Originally posted by the-way-im-feeling

If a man tortured by his nightmares is crying and no one is around to hear him, does he actually make a sound?

For months, the answer to that question was no.

No one knew about the way Bucky thrashed around like a madman in his sleep. They had no clue that the blankets that covered him became a cage that he couldn’t escape every night. They didn’t realize that his mind was exactly the same.

They didn’t know that he woke up with tears in his eyes that he didn’t remember shedding. They failed to hear him shout for the help that wasn’t coming. They were unaware that the first thing he did when he woke up was jump out of bed and search his surroundings, looking for the evil monster that lurked in his dreams. They were never there to watch the light leave his azure eyes when he looked in the mirror and realized that the monster he was running from was himself.

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[9]

I just. 

I get the feeling that Fai is being sarcastic about this and lying as obviously as possible. But the most telling thing about this is that it actually works better than his actual lies, because Kurogane actually goes with it. 

That should tell you everything you need to know about how good at lying Fai really is. 

Also, Mokona, DID YOU JUST FREAKING TAKE THE CURSED BOOK THAT ALMOST ATE SYAORAN’S SOUL AND JUST 

CASUALLY

PHOTOCOPY IT?

… and then ATE THE PHOTOCOPY?