Okay, so like how when sheep/kids baaa at you and you baaa back and they all baaa again?? How would aliens react is if a human on their mission started making the creatures noise back at them until they all doing it.
The mission was fairly simple in Grutona’s mind: follow the tracks of certain creatures and use environmental clues to discern aspects of the creature’s lifestyle and needs. The group had been following the large, octagonal shaped prints of a swutonaton for the past several standard hours, and up to this point, they still hadn’t actually encountered the beast.
Good. Grutona was not keen on being eaten alive today, which would surely be the result of disturbing the beast. Protocol on the mission was to leave should contact be breached with any species that was not fully documented.
However, there was one member of the team that made Grutona worry. Maria seemed to take things like Protocol as more of a… guideline. Already today Maria had disregarded rules about eating wild tree fruit claiming “they have these on my planet, don’t worry!” Grutona did worry. Especially when Maria added: “Besides, they’re delicious.” Grutona knew what type of treefruit Maria was eating, and xhe was skeptical of the claim. These deadly fruits humans called “lemons” were HIGHLY acidic and sour. On xer home world, a fruit like that would be used by deadly criminals as a poison.
Needless to say, having a human on the crew had been an eye-opening, mind-boggling experience. Grutona was learning more about universal cultures on this mission than ever before, that was for certain.
It was a few more minutes of walking along the path, Grutona taking note of the way the plant life was smashed down to the side of the path of the tracks as if the swutonaton had stopped for a time and rested.
“Ah, so it appears swutonaton are a restful breed, and likely a predator species as evident by their choice location being one leaving them so vulnerable.” Kerip, another member of the team, said this clinically, xis eyes dilating further as his species was wont to do in order to get a magnified look at things. As he was examining he spoke to his partner, Bepin who recorded xis observations on a datapad.
There was a noise further down the trail, strangely like a yawn. Grutona looked over cautiously. Maria was gone. Grutona frowned and made toward the sound hoping it was just Maria doing some sort of human thing xhe was unfamiliar with and not the beast hiding in the plant life beyond planning an attack on the mission crew.
But when had luck ever been on Grutona’s side?
As xhe rounded the bend in the trail xhe was met with the horrifying sight. Xhe would have screamed if it were a characteristic of xer race. Instead, xhe stood there in shock.
Maria stood in front of the creature they were tracking all right. The only thing was, the team was entirely wrong about what they thought they were following here. They had assumed the animal was very large, at least nine or ten times the actual size of the creatures in front of them now. And creatures they were. There were at least fifteen of these creatures and they were all piled atop one another, drooling heavily, spiked tails and trunks laying anywhere.
“I’d definitely call this a dog-pile.” Maria chuckled, completely unconcerned at the reality that basically everything they had assumed about these creatures was wrong. Maria turned to look at Grutona, eyes gleaming in mischief. “Guess we were wrong about the elephant-sized animal with forty pig-sized feet, huh?” Grutona said nothing, still reeling. They needed to leave, Protocol demanded it, and they needed to go soon before more of the creatures woke up as one was doing now.
“Hey, look! They’re starting to wake up! They’re so cute!” Maria took another step closer to them, making cooing noises as Grutona watched in horror as more of the swutonatons started to rouse. Footsteps behind xer alerted xer to the rest of the team arriving to the scene finally.
There was a moment of stunned silence before an exasperated sound came from Bepin and Kerip started mumbling in astonishments about all the things they had wrongly ascertained.
“We should leave,” a voice of reason finally called from the back of the group: Teriwald, the ranked officer from the ship who had been tasked with “protecting the scientists” on the expedition.
Grutona found xer voice again, finally. “You’re–”
There was a sudden, loud sound from the pile of creatures “Meeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrm.”
“Okay, that was the greatest thing I’ve ever heard,” Maria was watching the herd of swutonaton with complete adoration in her gaze. Grutona had been warned to be wary of humans when they assumed a look like this one. There was no telling what kind of things they might do next.
Whatever Grutona had expected, it was not what Maria did next. Maybe xhe thought she would have started running in circles around the group or walk over and touch one, but xhe certainly did not predict that Maria would raise her arms in imitation of a swutonaton trunk and repeat the noise back at them in perfect imitation. “Meeeeeeeerrrrrm!”
“What are you doing, we need to go!” Teriwald reminded in an increasingly demanding tone.
“Calm down, Waldo, we’re fi–” Maria was cut off by several cries of the swutonaton calling back at her.
“Oh, this is too good!” More of the swutonaton had stirred now, and they were climbing off of each other and standing in a herd before Maria who laughed and made the noise again.
“MEEEEEEEEERRRRRM!!!” The entire herd of seventeen (Grutona had counted in xer moments of horror earlier) swutonaton were now calling back at Maria’s prompting.
Nobody on the team said anything as they all watched in rapt attention Maria and the herd of swutonaton yell at each other for the next ten standard minutes.
Humans, Grutona concluded, still half horrified, are weird.
I personally love the fae, but I know many people would rather stay far away (and of course it’s very important to know safety guidelines whether you do or not!) so here’s some information I’ve collected.
From many different sources:
Never use your real name when interacting with fae, or they can take control over you
Always be polite and respectful and do your best not to offend. Remember, better safe than sorry
As a general rule, don’t eat food when visiting the fae realm. This will make you a captive, unable to leave, and often the food isn’t as wonderful as it may seem, and only glamoured rocks, mud and sticks. (It’s said faeries will take offense if you don’t accept food they offer to you in our own world though)
Do not think yourself more clever than them or try to swindle them; you will end up in very hot water
You may not want to accept faerie money.. as again, it is often glamoured and will turn back into leaves and acorns soon after
Do not blindly intrude were you are not wanted (fairy rings, sacred faerie places, etc) Always ask first and respect their answer!
Should you find you’ve wandered into a place where you feel strong malevolent energy or evil presence and experience “faerie terror”, back away slowly, don’t run or you might get lost. Send out your good will, and if you can, throw up a bubble/egg ward to protect yourself
Do not to take the fae lightly or seek them half-heartedly. Take care not to act as if they were weak, harmless or lenient. It is very foolish to underestimate them. Faeries are not strictly good or evil (neither are humans), and respect and caution are always best
Salt and iron (tools made from iron, a nail in your pocket) are traditional faerie deterrents
Three leaf clovers can be carried as a protective charm, and four leaf ones can break through faerie magic or allow you to see hidden fae (note some traditions say you should have multiple clovers as each will only work once)
Wearing St. John’s Wort will give you strong protection from faerie magic
As will wearing a daisy
Carrying a rowan twig, or hanging one over your door, that was collected on Betaine may bring protection
Flipping your clothes inside out can prevent faerie mischief by its unexpectedness
Visualisation wards can be effective
Scatter primrose petals outside your door to keep faeries at bay by creating a barrier
If you hear bluebells chime it is a warning that danger or faerie enchantments are near
Putting a daisy chain on a child is said to protect them from being taken as a changeling
Forget me nots can be used for faerie protection
If you’re friendly with any other faeries, you may ask them for protection against ill-willed fae
Faeries will avoid gardens with tomato plants
Make a bundle of twigs from the trees of the faerie triad, oak ash and thorn, and carry it for protection (it will only work if they’re bound together, if separate, they are an invitation to the fae)
One traditional faerie protection is placing mirrors throughout your home
Cats may chase away faeries
The sound of heavy iron bells and chimes may drive them away
Leaving out gifts of honey and milk can appease the fae if you wish them to leave you alone
I dare you to tell another story from the apartment
ALRIGHT BOYS GIRLS AND EVERYONE WHO THINKS THE GENDER BINARY IS FOR SQUARES IT’S STORY TIME.
Today, we’re going to talk about the time Paul’s desire for superior firepower turned into a mini arms race that ended with me setting Eric on fire with a homemade flamethrower.
No, Matt Boomer, you sexy motherfucker, I am not kidding you. Let’s begin with some details.
So when I was at the University of Iowa, several people, including myself, bought Nerf guns for impromptu battles in the hallways when we had free time. Mostly this was all good, clean fun, except for two of the guys down the hall, my roommate, and I.
We all thought, rightfully so, that factory built Nerf guns are bullshit. They’re weak, darts are too fucking light, the barrels cause too much friction, which makes them inaccurate and slow, and you have to re-cock them after each shot. That’s some fucking bullshit right there. So we fixed it.
We bought new, higher tensile springs. We bought PVC pipe and lubricant. We put BBs in the tips of our darts, and my roommate and even put in a second spring to automatically cock the gun, essentially turning them from bolt action pieces of shit into semi-automatic friendship-ruiners.
So when I moved back to Chicago, and into the apartment, I obviously brought my Nerf guns (my roommate gave me his when we moved out), and I obviously attacked my roommates the first opportunity I had. OBVIOUSLY this led to everyone buying Nerf guns and modifying the shit out of them.
However, some of us were terrible shots, so certain measures had to be taken to make it possible for them to keep up. Brad practiced in his room every day, Josh built an extended clip for his gun, and Kyle bought the fucking Vulcan and built a 600 dart belt for it because he decided aiming is for people who can’t fire 6 darts a second (he modded it for doubled firing speed using a small car battery and replaced mechanics).
And then there was Paul.
Paul was fucking terrible. Like almost so bad it couldn’t be for real. He once tried to ambush me coming around a corner from 2 feet away and missed by a good 6-7 inches. He literally could have slapped me and he missed. Whatever moving on.
So Paul decides to solve his aim problems in the most Paul way possible: online shopping. He bought 500 foam pellets for a marshmallow gun, two dozen foam discs, and a motherfucking t-shirt cannon.
You see, Paul, much like Kyle, decided aiming was for lames. So he would pour foam pellets into the cannon until it was half full, slip in a disc to keep them from falling out, then shotgun people in the face. I was his first victim and boy let me tell you that shit is terrifying.
So Paul became the big dog in the house during Nerf battles, and the rest of us found ourselves unable to compete. So we all escalated in our own insane ways. Eric and I, the former champions, modified our guns to fire faster, Brad added an extended magazine to his gun, Kyle built a harness so that he could shoot his fucking stupid fucking bullet-storm piece of shit while moving. Josh booby-trapped various parts of our apartment. Suddenly, we were all better than Paul again, so he decided to step his game up.
He started making paper cartridges that would explode open once fired. Suddenly, he could actually fire multiple times a minute, which meant once again, he was at the top. It didn’t help that our reluctance to shoot back out of fear of getting shot was allowing him to take his time, therefore drastically improving his aim.
So we stepped up again. I smooth out the cocking mechanism on my guns, improving my firing speed even faster. Eric adds more weight to his darts, making them heavier and faster and much more painful. Kyle buys a bigger battery, newer parts, and he perfects his belts, which increases his firing speed to 12 darts a second.
So Paul steps up to take advantage of his improved aim and buys something called a Pucker Chucker which basically is a t-shirt cannon except it shoots foam pucks. This means we can’t just shoot at him from the other side of the apartment anymore, so we all step up again. I modify the rail on top to make aiming easier, Eric modifies his grip to make it more comfortable, Kyle and brad modify their barrels to make them more accurate, and Josh jumps on board the crazy train and builds a goddamn under barrel cherry bomb launcher.
And this is where shit starts to spiral out of control.
Brad starts making smoke grenades, Kyle solves his weakness against close quarters combat by using his battery to create a cattle prod to keep people back. Eric breaks the head off an old golf club to use the shaft as a weapon, I put pins in the tips of all of my darts, and Paul realizes that the Pucker Chucker can also shoot real hockey pucks after he steals my bucket of pucks from my room.
So it escalated a couple more steps but I’m going to leave them out partially out of a desire to keep moving forward and partially out of shame anywhoozle when we pull out our final contraptions and modifications that day we shifted from light-hearted fun that was a bit too far to literally combat. Josh had a sword. I don’t know where he got it from.
That battle was terrifying. Our normal fights were like an hour, two hours tops, then we would clean up, get together in the living room with some beers, and laugh about what happened. Honestly we should have known this was going to happen because when we did this after our previous fight, the laughter was less “haha remember when I shot Josh in the butthole? Classic.” and more “haha remember when I missed your face with that puck? Next time I won’t miss.”
So we somehow get into a battle again and this time things go south quickly which is bound to happen when you have a dude in a speedo swinging a sword around while rolling fireworks down the hall. It was literally chaos. There were fireworks and homemade smoke grenades and Kyle made the electrical current in his cattle prod too strong and it was too close to the muzzle of his Vulcan so every few seconds you would just see a flaming dart wiz past and I built a fucking flamethrower and I don’t know what the fuck is going on so I’m just firing it in the general direction of Josh to keep him the fuck away. At some point Brad barricades himself in his room, and so we all run back to our rooms and hide.
We do this for three days. THREE DAYS. I missed classes. We all had junk food in our rooms, and private bathrooms, so that’s what we sustained ourselves on for three fucking days. I, however, try to eat healthy, so I ran out of food almost immediately. After not eating for a day and a half, with food literally less than 50 feet from where I was hiding, I decided that I was willing to risk a trip to the kitchen.
So here’s something important about our apartment: I was the only one who knew how to cook. I had tried to teach the others, but all that had accomplished was several kitchen fires. This meant when Eric also ran out of food, he knew the only way to get a meal was to make peace with me. So he had snuck down the hall to my door, intent on asking me for help.
I did not know he was there.
So when I opened the door and saw a crouching figure in the shadows nearby, I assumed, I think justifiably, that it was the guy who had been swinging a sword at all of us the last time I saw him. So I pulled the trigger on my homemade flamethrower, only to see Eric’s horrified face illuminated by the flames for a split second before they hit his torso.
Luckily, I was using a scavenged fuel source (computer screen cleaner), so the flames were weak, but still fire is fire and fire fucking hurts. So Eric is rolling on the floor with first degree burns on his stomach and chest, and I’m freaking out because Eric is my friend and I just set him on fire, so there is now a lot of screaming coming from the hall.
Now, to lighten the mood slightly, here’s a personality test. You hear the sounds of fire, followed shortly by screaming coming from the hall outside your room. What do you do?
Do you assume the crazy sword guy has finally snapped and is going to kill you all, so you climb out the window onto the fire escape? Congratulations, you’re Brad.
Do you hear the cries of pain and grab a first aid kit before sprinting into the hall to help? Hey! You’re Kyle!
Do you hear the flames so you sprint into the kitchen to grab the fire extinguisher? You are Paul.
Do you come out into the hall to see what’s going on but also bring your sword just in case you have to stab someone? You are Josh and also mentally unstable please put your sword away.
So Kyle comes out and he and I start administering first aid and luckily through a combination of the weakness of my fuel source, how quickly I stopped the flames, and the quickness of our treatments, Eric only gets some first degree burns on his torso. Paul puts out the last of the flames, Josh decides he doesn’t want to stab anyone today, and Brad decides that the lack of screaming is a good thing and he comes inside. I spend the next hour apologizing profusely while cooking everyone dinner, and we decide that hey we should probably have some rules for our Nerf fights to prevent this from ever happening again.
So we all eat, we establish rules about modifications and ammunition, and at the end of it all, we grab some beers, head into the living room, and tell Josh he needs to get rid of the sword seriously dude where did you get that from?
The 6th house relates to daily routine, ritual, prescribed therapies, and habits. The energy of the sign and planet in the 6th house can demonstrate where we can be habitual, self medicating, or even self destructive. Often we seek perfectionism and sublime skill in this area. We can be at hostage to ceremonial routines in order to calm the mental conflict that occurs naturally in the 6th house
Sun in the 6th house Leo ruling the 6th: Perfecting self image, skills, and behavioural conduct is daily routine. The identity is transfixed by its usefulness, ritualistically going through personal defects to fix their obsession with what they think is broken about themselves
Moon in the 6th Cancer ruling the 6th: The erratic and compulsive emotional experience is a part of daily routine. Emotional expression can follow predictable but challenging patterns that seem to occur like clockwork, unrelenting and cyclic
Mercury in the 6th Gemini ruling the 6thThe individual can be a compulsive and ritualistic thinker, often getting trapped in thoughts and mental constructs, being forced to finish thoughts or ideas, they can think themselves into sickness Virgo ruling the 6th The mind generates ritualistic patterns and habits that respond to daily worries. The individual can be highly anxious about their health and undertake damaging health, fitness, or dieting regimes
Venus in the 6th Taurus ruling the 6th Personal pleasures become vices and habits to cope with daily life. There are sensual daily rituals such as long showers, reading, eating well Libra ruling the 6th The individual can be highly sensitive regarding their social image, feeling constant pressure to refine and alter their social conduct. Escaping into the illustrious world of their ideals can become daily routine, such as participating in fleeting romances
Mars in the 6th Aries ruling the 6th Energy requires focused and sustained release, the individual is constantly containing and conducting energy flow for daily life. Power struggles or conflict can be routine, the individual can feel eery when there is peace
Jupiter in the 6th Sagittarius ruling the 6th Themes of excess become intensified here, the individual can find it difficult to control their compulsions, work habits, and sacrificial nature, feeling burn out can become daily life
Saturn in the 6th Capricorn ruling the 6th The individual can be at hostage to their personal rituals, addictions, and habits, which seem to control them rather than the other way around. States of melancholy can be daily life
Uranus in the 6th Aquarius ruling in the 6th The body is highly charged with Uranus in the 6th, it speaks a language of its own and seeks comfort on earth. Undertaking unusual or alternative health regimes, spiritual or mental detoxes, or experiencing abrupt health concerns can be routine
Neptune in the 6th Pisces ruling the 6th Methods of routine escapism become daily activity, the individual can use substances, dream, sex, or ideals to ritualistically hide from reality
Pluto in the 6th Pluto ruling the 6th The energies and experience of Pluto become daily habit here. Sex, transformation, uncovering truth, and battling unrelenting internal forces is part of the daily routine.
hello i was really inspired by elsewhere university so i wrote what could be considered a first person account of a freshman? i hope you like it!!!
You apply to college because you know you’re supposed to. You’re not sure if you’re ready for it, though. In the past, your grades have fluctuated because you have executive dysfunction and also you never learned how to study. Smart kid problems, your dad always said.
You only apply to one college. If you don’t get in, you’re going to take a year off from school. You don’t really know what you’ll do, but you’ll figure it out. You apply to one of the most prestigious schools in the world: Elsewhere University.
Elsewhere University is a lot like any other university, from what you understand. You did your research. There’s weird rules, and there’s a whole blog dedicated to the culture surrounding that particular school. There’s something in each post that makes you think that there’s something the authors aren’t saying, but you never get a response when you ask in the comments or by emailing. One woman replied, but all she said was, “Be careful, but it’s a good school. I highly recommend it.”
You tried to find pass/fail rates of the school, but you can’t find anything. Apparently nobody fails out of Elsewhere university, only drops out or disappears. In fact, there’s a strangely high amount of disappearances from Elsewhere University that nobody seems to be making a fuss about. You almost regret applying when you learn about that.
Your best friend’s sister’s girlfriend graduated from Elsewhere U, so you ask your best friend to put you in contact with her. She does. Her sister’s girlfriend gives you a load of advice, and also highly recommends the school. She tells you that it’s an actual fact that nobody fails out of Elsewhere University, but that lots drop out or vanish. She says “vanish” a little wistfully, and you remember that time about five years ago when she’d vanished for a week, but then showed back up weirdly wiser and cleverer. You don’t ask about it.
Her advice consists of weird superstitions that she swears by: keep a bit of iron tucked away, carry some salt with you, and to carry candy and sweets with you. She doesn’t explain why, but you pack an old horseshoe, a container of salt, and your entire stash of candy.
She also gives you a list of rules.
Don’t eat anything they give you.
Be polite to them.
Don’t break any promises to them.
Be careful making deals with them.
Don’t say “I’m sorry,” say “Pardon me.” Also, don’t say “Thank you,” say “I appreciate it”
Be nice to plants and animals.
Feed the crows.
You have no idea what any of that means, but you know that you will soon. You thank her for her advice. It’s an easy job to type up the list of rules she gave you and turn it into your new background. You have trouble with social stuff, so having a list of rules is a godsend.
Your grandpa takes you down to your school. You don’t really know where it is, but his GPS knows where to go apparently. You have no idea how long the ride is. It feels like forever, and you start to worry about your fish. The GPS says you’ll be there in an hour. The GPS said you’d be there in an hour, an hour ago. You hope your betta fish will be okay. He’s been in his travel container for what feels like too long.
When you arrive, there’s a group of volunteers helping people like you move in. A team of three grabs up all of your stuff. You carry your fish and your newly acquired keys. The volunteer who signs you in warns you to keep track of your keys, that They can beep into the dorms and will raid your room for shiny stuff. You ask what she means. She shakes her head and calls you a freshie. You don’t ask again.
The three who help you take your stuff to your room give you advice. The girl tells you to stay away from the library and the dining hall at 3am. The boy tells you not to make deals at the point where two crosswalks create a crossroads in front of the Briggs building.
The person of indeterminate gender asks you what your major is, and when you tell them you’re thinking about creative writing, they tell you to be extremely careful and to never accept food from strangers under any circumstances and to be careful in even the dining hall and that if you can’t be absolutely sure that whoever is giving you food is human and to politely reject it otherwise and also don’t let the Fair Folk critique your stories because they’ll consider that a favor and you don’t want to owe them a favor and-
The girl hisses at them to shut up, that they’re scaring you. She’s not wrong. You want to hear more, though, so the person of indeterminate gender who tells you to call them Jules. You have a feeling that Jules isn’t their birth name. You tell them to call you by the nickname your friend gave you. They grin at you and say you’re already learning.
The trio leaves you in your room, alone. Your roommate isn’t here yet. You take the side of the room with the comfy chair, but leave them the good wardrobe. You feel like that’s a fair trade. It doesn’t take you long to unpack, and by the time your roommate shows up, all you’re doing is putting up your last poster (a Captain America “propaganda” poster).
She gives your poster a disgusted look. You say hello. She says hello back. She doesn’t thank the volunteers when they leave. She sets up her side of the room quickly, and complains about her wardrobe being slightly tilted. You point out that yours doesn’t close all the way. She scoffs, but quits complaining.
You never really get to like your roommate. She’s out all the time, she joins a sorority, and when she is in the room, her boyfriend is with her. Having him in the room makes you itch. He’s a nice guy, but something about him makes you dislike him instantly.
You stay polite, but when she vanishes, you aren’t really concerned. She’s often gone for a night or two. It’s only on the third night that you think you should probably report that she’s gone.
You knock on the RA’s door before your first class. She’s half asleep and tells you she’ll look into it, but that if your roommate shows up on her own to tell her. Oh and, she adds, if she comes back weird, be careful, Freshie.
Your roommate never comes back. Your RA shows up at your door after two weeks with a teary-eyed middle aged couple to pack her stuff up. You leave for the library with a thin excuse. You try to avoid the library, but it’s a good place to go when it’s nine at night and nothing is open except the student union. You already ate tonight, and going to the student union always makes you hungry, even when you’ve just eaten. The library is safer on your wallet.
You linger for an hour and a half. Half of your homework is done, including that essay you were sure would take you days to finish. You think you might come to the library more often after this.
When you return to your dorm, you pass by your RA’s open door. She said to leave the half of the room that isn’t yours empty, that you’d be getting a new roommate soon. You agree easily. You hope this next roommate is nicer than the last one. One of your classmates, who only goes by Elly, says that her roommate was replaced by something that looked just like them, but acted wrong. A junior hushed her, but it was enough to leave you thankful that your roommate had just vanished.
The next morning, you give one of the campus crows a slice of ham from your sandwich. It bows its head in thanks. It flies away after that. You decide to keep feeding the crows. You’ve always been superstitious, and it’s always good to have crows on your side, right? Your best friend’s sister’s girlfriend even said to feed the crows. Even if it’s just mumbo-jumbo, it can’t hurt, right?
You feed the crows. You go to class. You eat dinner in the dining hall, and only take food that’s being served by the workers who are clearly human. You don’t look at the shadowy figures when you go to your night class. You don’t speak to the cloaked figures you see at all times of the day, but you nod politely in passing. You never say thank you, or I’m sorry. You follow the rules, and when time comes that someone who doesn’t look quite right stops you at the crossed sidewalk in front of the O’Brien building, you carefully only offer a handful of candy in exchange for the study guide the stranger offers you. They happily accept the candy, and you happily go over your new guide.
You like Elsewhere University. Your classes are going great, you have a few friends, and you’re starting to understand what’s going on around campus.
The first time Lydia Martin turned on your doorstep you stared at her like she’d grown a second head. Of all the people to come looking for you brother she was the last that came to mind. Hell Derek Hale had climbed into your room, mistaking it for Stiles’ room. The most awkward high school reunion ever.
“Hi (Y/N).” Lydia called as she let herself in. “I have dinner.” She smiled and tossed you the carrier bag of food which you caught and unloaded into the fridge.
“He started another list it’s upstairs and he’s started a document but I’m not sure what he’s researching.” You called as she jogged straight up to his room.
You closed the fridge and jumped, tossing a bottle of milk at Derek who looked at the bottle he’d caught. “What have I told you about sneaking into the house!”
You must go from Lurelin Village to the Flight Range.
No fast travel.
No weapons of any kind.
Champion abilities are allowed.
Armor rating cannot exceed 10.
No monster masks.
Travel by roads only.
No runes except for the Camera.
You cannot fight back, only run.
You can only save at inns and stables.
You can eat food.
No using the map.
No food, only inns.
No champion abilities.
Sometimes I lose my appetite for days or weeks - even the foods I normally crave become as appealing as eating paper towels. It normally goes hand in hand with sensory issues with the food. These are some of the tricks I’ve learned to make sure I get enough nutrition anyway
The first and most important thing is you need to remember that eating anything is better than eating nothing. You may need to suspend your normal standards or rules - eating foods that are less “healthy" than normal, eating the same thing over and over gain, or just not enjoying your food as much.
Energy (calorie) dense foods like nuts or energy bars are really helpful, especially if the actual process of eating is unpleasant. Sometimes its really nice to be able to eat a meals worth of energy in under a minute
Chewing gum helps me get my appetite going - If I am trying to get myself hungry for a meal I will often start with gum 30-40 minutes before.
I rely a lot on eating a little of something I’m comfortable with to pique my appetite and moving to a different food group afterwards. Eating the first thing is always the hardest - I find after I start my brain realizes that food is ok and I can move onto larger portions or a different food.
When I eat something sweet I tend to crave more sugar later. So I use this to my advantage and have a small portion of something with some sugar in it and then wait to be hungry for more. Sometimes I will try to eat something a little more nutritious the second time, others I just have more of whatever was finally able to pique my interest
For the same reason consider other foods you find hard to put down. I’ve heard that things with both carbs and fat in them are the most “addictive” and I use that when I’m struggling to get enough to eat. It’s ok if this is a “junk” food - remember eating anything is better than eating nothing
Ginger tea or ginger chews make my stomach feel better
Keep track of your food. It can be really informal, like making sure you don’t skip meals, or it can be some other strategy of keeping a food journal or counting calories. You don’t need to be super precise, it just helps remind you to eat when your body isn’t sending the right signals
Look at “food porn.” Scrolling through a food blog you love on tumblr or watching a cooking show can be a good way to get your appetite going
Have a nutritional drink like an ensure can help you make sure you are getting all the nutrients you need without much thought. I find ensure is best very cold or on ice.
Look for foods or categories of foods that seem easier to tolerate than the others. This might be something you know is easy on your stomach, something of a certain texture, something hot/cold, or just a favorite food.
If there is a food that you find less unappealing than the others, or feels “safe” to you go for it, even if you’ve eaten it many times in the last few days. I even find having eaten a food or meal in recent memory helps convince my body its not gonna be harmful
victor gets weirdly obsessed with some american monster hunting show. “it’s a scam,” yuuri informs him. the people on the tv screaming curses and shaking the camera don’t seem to care. victor shakes his head, engrossed in the episode.
“i know,” victor says. “but it’s fun. and very silly. they’re hunting bigfoot. what is bigfoot?”
“i don’t know,” yuuri says. “they call bigfoot a cryptid,” victor repeats. “i don’t know what that means. but bigfoot is one.” yuuri nods and has a vivid flashback to the poster phichit made him during his first few runs in the skating circuit where yuuri avoided interviews and press like the plague. ‘rare strange sighting: gay skating cryptid katuski yuuri’ phichit captioned it, with a blurry image of yuuri eating chips on the couch in their dorm with a guilty expression.
“do you think i could meet bigfoot?” victor muses. “would he ask for my autograph, or would i ask for his?”
“he’d ask for mine,” yuuri answers mildly. “i’m the true cryptid.”
Jumin speaks on things he has discovered about Zen.
“When he is not talking, he is singing, when he tries to be quiet I can hear him thinking, I am sure he can speak underwater”
“I have seen him drop food on the floor and say five-second rule, then eat the food, I do not believe there is such a primitive rule”
“He tells me to leave him alone, So I walk away then he says I do not pay attention to him, I am quite confused”
“He plays the piano for me while I sing to him, apparently he likes my singing, I am a business executive, not a singer”
“He does not like expensive gifts, So I learned how to make fish shaped bread from the vendor outside his basement apartment, I burnt my fingers and the bread, He called me a dense jerk but still ate them like they were the most delicious meal he had ever tasted”
“He talks in his sleep, again, I swear he can speak underwater.”
“He looks at me like I am the only person in this world, at first, I use to think I had something on my face but now I am accustomed to his expressive nature”
“Zen purchased a festive sweater for me at Christmas, I could not wear it for long as he was laughing at me and the sweater was very itchy.”
“He use to throw tantrums, I never knew the reasons, so I left him to better organize his thoughts, I have since learned this is not the best thing to do unless you want something thrown at you”
“Did you know that cheese comes in a can? I did not know this, he brings home most unusual food at times… I wonder if Cat food mousse can be put in a can….”
“He took me to a Supermart?, Super grocer?, A place where commoners buy food, they did not have a personal shopper there and I had to put items in a cart with wheels by myself. It is not an experience I would like to repeat”.
“He punches my arm for no reason then laughs, I guess this is a commoner male bonding ritual, I prefer a handshake”
“I pet his hair once and told him it is almost as beautiful as Elizabeth the 3rds, he stomped away using inappropriate language, I still do not understand why as Elizabeth has beautiful hair”
I am learning to adapt to his quirks and have come a fair way, each day is a new discovery. It is not that I am ignorant or cruel it is because I have never known any other way but my own.
He teaches me his life through his beautiful eyes although slightly barbaric at times, I will still strive to better understand this man who has chosen to walk by my side.
HanRyu Project collaboration re-edit with @cheebsrtd