eating oysters

A guide to being an apathetic Byronic aristocrat vampire in the 21st century
  • If the sun is up return to bed and wait until nighttime. There are not enough hours in the night to spend them sleeping. Once it is dark you can be all Dante Rossetti about it and stroll about some darkened woodland or else lay amongst Chinese patterned pillows in the nude reading Marcel Proust. 
  • In fact do a great many things naked. Or if you insist do them naked under a silk robe which trails after you as you stalk the halls of your estate.
  • And since everyone is fated to die anyway smoke cigarettes while you can. Be blasé about death in general. Or lament it constantly – incessantly – until all who know you associate it with your presence. That is what being a Romantic is all about.
  • And in the spirit of Byron take such bad care of yourself – by eating badly and drinking copiously – that you might at any moment pass into that lamented great beyond. The best ways to die are in a battle or in a Revolution as well as from sloth – simply laying about wasting away transfixed by a beautiful painting or the memory of a lost lover – or finally simply succumbing to an illness procured from exposure to the harsh elements of nature. The last is the most probable since you will often find yourself standing on mountaintops above mist-laden seascapes shouting Nietzschean quotes into the frosty air and heralding your own impending doom in the process.
  • Read many books. Watch Orlando by Sally Potter for immortal style tips.
  • Become a sensual creature (as opposed to a sexually satisfied one) so that you may either conquer a harmen of lovers wherein you can loose yourself for hours on end in a kind of Delta of Venus scenario or else live as an Dionysian hermit finding solace entirely in literature, flowers and moonlight.
  • Be not strictly woman or man but rather an amalgamation of femininity and masculinity. Embrace bisexuality. 
  • Keep strange pets. Anything besides a dog or cat or gerbil. Or if you must have a dog then choose a Borzoi or Wolf Hound. And if you must procure a cat then name it Lassitude or Nothing as Jean Paul Sartre did. Raise peacocks and keep a menagerie of exotic fauna and flora in an otherwise overgrown rose garden.  
  • Half of what you say ought to be a quote by John Milton, Dante Alighieri, William Shakespeare or Oscar Wilde. Either that or nothing. If you are not reciting – either the work of others or your own – then be quiet. Observe and consider, but rarely speak.
  • Drink red wine. And white wine. And champagne. Do not however drink vodka unless you find yourself in the Russian Winter Palace filial roaming pale and crazy-eyed down halls with a fur coat whipping behind you and a novel by Tolstoy in your pocket. 
  • Life is a feast. Eat oysters for breakfast and decorate your dinner table – and the food itself – with flowers. Hannibal is the go to cooking program for culinary flair.
  • In fact Hannibal ought to be the only tv show you watch besides Penny Dreadful. 
  • Wear chokers. All your jewelry ought to be heirlooms. 
  • Keep a much younger lover – if you are a woman – or a much older one – if you are a man – and have them rip the choker from your pale neck as you fall together in a passionate throw onto a 17th century ottoman.
  • Dress in shrouds of velvet and silk. 
  • Stay out of the sun.
  • A moushe – a painted-on beauty mark – is entirely appropriate, as is a Jacobin ruff.
  • From now on sex shall be referred to as Making Cattleya.
  • Appropriate venues for socializing are cafés which do not play music or serve cappuccinos, theaters built before 1960 and opera houses not built after 1930. Jazz clubs which refrain from fusion or acid. Libraries and old cinemas in general. Family estates and parental mansions, abandoned houses in the country side, churches and cemeteries, woodland openings and castle lawns, museums and – of course – small apartments where you can sit on the floor smoke cigarettes and discuss the collective sense of ennui you share with your friends.
  • Inappropriate venues are shopping malls, franchise coffee shops and anywhere where reading a novel or smoking might seem out of place. In fact stay clear of any place built after 1980. Avoid food courts, gyms, sports or hotel bars and clubs with more than one dance floor as the plague.
  • Refer to your circle of friends as your Family. Be religiously devote and romantically involved with them. When it comes to your actually family a cool somewhat distanced relationship is the most appropriate. Or if so inclined consider a more obsessive cloistering constellation that will inevitably lead to rumors of past inbreeding – the French aristocratic kind – and scandal. Refer to your parents by their first name or not at all and thus have them remain an elusive periphery to your life. 
  • Instead declare Richard Wagner as your emergency contact.
  • Descend stairwells slowly.
  • Express yourself through Greek axioms and lyrical poetry or lingering secretive stares. Consider perfume as a means of communication. 
  • Remember that the only respectable means of transport are the Oriental Express, steamships across the Atlantic or long boats along the Nile. You may also travel by foot if you do so in a languid fashion. As far as tourism goes the primary vehicle of experience ought to be stargazing and kissing. 
  • Consider yourself eternal
  • And eternity meaningless. 
Critical Role Ep.91: Cast reactions to Keyleth accidentally eating a soul

LIAM: Give it to Keyleth, she’ll try anything!

TRAVIS: *hysterical laughter*

LAURA: You ate a soul, Keyleth? …Oh my god!

TALIESIN: That had a name. That had a life, that had a mortgage. It made some bad decisions, and now you’re eating it, like oyster… I’m so proud of you.

BONUS MATT:

[Critical Role Ep. 91: Vox Machina goes to Hell]

4

What were your favorite shots to film in the show?

Usually the fun stuff has less to do with action or beauty and more to do with interaction between characters. And so most fun stuff to do on Hannibal, for instance, are some of the crazy scenes I get to do with Mads [Mikkelson, who plays Hannibal] and other characters.

There’s a scene in the first episode where we have a guest for dinner, and I’m eating oysters and they’re eating…somebody…and that exchange between the three of us was a very fun scene to do. It was funny. It was fun to play with pushing the boundaries of the relationship.

Imagine your OTP - double date & oysters
  • Maggie: I don't know, Luthor... I think she's kind of...
  • Lena: I'm telling you, she's totally gonna...
  • Alex: *full mouth* What?!
  • Kara: ohnomnomnomnomnomnomnom *happy chipmunk cheeks*
  • Maggie: Sooooo Danvers, you're like to spit or swallow?
  • * danvers's sisters didn't see it coming *
  • Alex: *looks at the plate* *spit out*
  • Kara: *large gulp of surprise*
  • Maggie: I mean the oysters you're eating!
  • Lena: Told ya... *sipping her wine*
  • Maggie: *hands 20 bucks to Lena* Dammit...

anonymous asked:

For the Creature Feature, how about mermaids? Not like the little mermaid, more like Abe Sapien-- like actually 'Human evolved to live underwater' and isn't just a human with a fish tail? human woman with merman?

I’m not sure if this is what you had in mind, but I had a great time writing it. 

Content warnings: Suicidal ideation, the ocean, alcoholism. ~3300 words.

Undertow


The ocean pulls at him.


Obron walks down to the water, at night. There is nothing there but ocean and black sky. A constant roar of waves and wind. All the grand hotels behind him have shut off the lights and he feels the pull and tug, the massive presence of nature begging him to drown. The fear takes him and he returns home.


Novi Sad was a city of colors and vibrancy. Here on the Oregon coast, where he’s been since he was ten, everything was grey, green and brown. There is a certain beauty in the moss covered trees, but he misses the color of his youth. Father wasn’t so unhappy back home. Here he drinks, every night. Obron walks in the house, sees father lying on the couch, his face slack from the cheap beer he puts away every night. Mother is in bed, as usual. He stares at the snoring beast on the couch and goes to bed, dreaming of the depths.

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(Translation) Kare Pillow vol. 10

大好きな彼とHして腕まくらでピロートークされちゃうシリーズ 年上彼氏と温泉デートで 編 (R18! Proceed only if you’re above 18!)

CV. Hirakawa Daisuke


T/N: Commissioned! Thanks for the huge tip as always~! ♥

Tokuten (AfterStory) is included in this post, use CTRL+F to jump to tokuten. More comments at the end to avoid spoilers ahaha


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Me irl: being bi is so important to me and I love being part of the lgbt community and I’m going to push to the extent of my abilities to help those in the community that are in need
Me after logging onto this website for five minutes: I hate the entirety of the legbutt society and I’m going to live in a cave by the sea and eat raw oysters for the rest of my life