eat-your-chicken

A vegan’s confession about backyard eggs

Okay… So I’ve gotten asks before about whether it’s okay to eat eggs from your backyard chickens. And I’ve answered these to the best of my ability - which means I looked at what other people (vegans) had to say about this and picked the one that made the most sense to me. In short - the answer was no.

But guess what - I have two rescued hens living with me now. I can now give you my personal opinion on the subject based on actual experience. And honestly - my opinion has changed drastically.

So to all the over-reacting, unrelenting vegans out there - calm your fucking tits. Hopefully I don’t get kicked out of the elite vegan club for doing this. 

First I want to share this recipe - first time I’ve used eggs after 10 years! Pretty exciting.

Ingredients:
2 eggs (only from your chickens!)
2 Tbsp oatmeal
0.5 tsp flax seed
some kale

1. Mix it all together and wait 10 mins.

2. Fry it in a pan - no oil!

3. Lookin’ good!

4. Now feed it to the ladies who actually laid the goddamn eggs.

Oh, haha, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lead you on! What a funny misunderstanding.

Okay, let’s get serious. What’s in an egg?

Modern hens have been bred to produce a lot - a lot - of eggs. With every egg their bodies are drained of nutrients - iron, vitamin D, vitamin A, phosphorus, thiamine, riboflavin and huge amounts of calcium (eggshell). But not only that - laying an egg nearly every day is exhausting. It’s hard fucking work. 

So I think… the least you can do is give her the egg back. It’s not just the nutrients - they really, really love to eat them. Making them a delicious snack (out of something that was theirs in the first place) isn’t a perfect way for saying “sorry for breeding your species into an egg-making machine that is very rarely viewed as anything else,” but it’s something. It’s definitely a better sorry than eating their eggs yourself.

Eggs are not good for your health. They are easily replaced in recipes. Oh, and they’re pretty gross:

But most importantly - they’re not yours. 

I know you love your chickens. Even if you eat their eggs, I know you love them. If you rescued a hen, you did a wonderful thing and I thank you for it. 

But please, try. Try to transform the way you view them. You do not expect your cat to give you anything in return - why are your hens the only ones in your animal-family who have to pay for membership?

The very act, concept of eating an egg is what caused my two hens to be born into hell - a factory farm. So no, I will never eat their eggs.

And what I said at the beginning of this post, vegans - to calm your tits? Do not calm your tits. Ever. 

I’m always so surprised whenever people say Hanzo and McCree have nothing in common. Let’s just consider: 

Both are former illegal arms dealers who left their respective families/organizations - Overwatch totally functioned as McCree’s  family - when they realized things had gone really bad. Both are currently wanderers trying to atone for their pasts. As Hanzo hints at in the Junkenstein brawl, they’re both goddamn walking talking anachronisms. In a meta sense they are partly based on two different versions of the same character. (Go google ‘Yojimbo and Fistful of Dollars’, please.)

What… what do you want from me.

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Bookmark The Cashew Chronicle so you don’t miss this one: Chickpea & Noodle Soup (vegan and gluten-free!) Hearty, delicious, and extremely cheap and easy to create in your own kitchen, this vegan and gluten-free version of the classic “chicken and noodle soup” is just the kind of classic heart-warming goodness you need after a long day. Recipe tomorrow (5/27) on The Cashew Chronicle!

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i mean… while we’re here… on halloween… let me just throw out this random ass monster/demon!kylo and witcher!hux thing that i like to entertain

imagine youre exorcist hux just trying to live a supernatural-free live and one day you find this vaguely attractive… Thing living in your cellar and eating all your chickens

why would anyone want to go to chunky cheese when the mcdonald playplaces are free and you can eat your chicken nuggets in the slides while you avoid thinking about how many thousands of sick kids have crawled where you have your hands right now

So I came up with this recipe tonight for dinner! 

It’s an “Asian” inspired dish… With glazed baked chicken thighs and a rice pilaf. 

Glaze:

(I used the ingredients to taste, but this is a rough measurement)

2 cloves of chopped garlic, 1 tablespoon of brown sugar, two tablespoons of chopped green onion (plus a little extra to top chicken with when serving), 1 teaspoon of red pepper flake, 2 tablespoons of honey, ¼ cup of soy sauce, 3 tablespoons of olive oil, a pinch of garlic powder, and salt and pepper. Whisk ingredients together. Make sure you taste it! My glaze was equal parts sweet and salty with a little kick from the red pepper. I reserved some glaze and heated it in a small pan to drizzle on top of chicken once it was done. (I added a pat of butter to the glaze when heating it to make it a little creamier)

Chicken:

Preheat oven to 375

Rinse and pat dry chicken thighs. 

Lift skin and spread glaze underneath with a spoon. (Best to do this when your chicken is in a baking pan) Also add a little bit of the glaze to the bottom of your pan. With the back of a spoon, spread some of the glaze on top of the chicken skin as well, but don’t add too much otherwise the chicken skin will get soggy. Bake in the oven for 45 minutes. 

Rice:

One medium onion, two cloves garlic, one cup of rice, 2 ¼ cups of chicken stock, ½ cup of frozen peas, pinch of garlic powder, 1-2 teaspoons of dried parsley, 1-2 tablespoons of butter, and salt and pepper to taste. 

Chop onion and garlic. In a small separate pan heat 2 ¼ cups of chicken stock. In a deep pan, saute onions in oil until translucent. Add chopped garlic. Once garlic is cooked add 1 cup of rice. Mix together and season generously with salt and pepper. Once rice has turned translucent add ½ cup of frozen peas and continue to cook. Add 1-2 tablespoons of butter and continue to saute. Once the rice looks a milky white color, add the boiling chicken stock to the pan and stir to combine everything. Add garlic powder and parsley. Before placing your lid on the pan, taste the liquid in the pan to make sure it is seasoned well. Bring everything to a boil and let boil for 1-2 minutes. Place lid on pan and turn heat down to low. Let it simmer for 25-30 minutes. Once done, lift lid and fluff rice with a fork. (Don’t lift the lid while rice is cooking until after 25 minutes has passed.) 

Plating: 

Pile rice on top of plate/bowl. Place chicken on top of rice and drizzle with glaze. Add a few pieces of chopped green onion on top of chicken and eat your heart out! 

This was super yummy and really easy to make! 

I hope you guys try it out! 

@guardians-of-the-food

The Baby’
A poem by Renata-Laura Vegalante

How can we take away your mother

Leave you hungry and thirsty and not let you have your milk

How can we slaughter your mother, who cried for you

And then take away your life too.

Your nature is gentle and you want to be loved Your whole being is innocent.

You naively suckle at the fingertips of the Oppressor.

I would give my life to stop this cruelty

The strength of humanity

To stop violent humans with the profit and machines

As I have more connection with you,

Within the Animal Kingdom as one,

To restore Peace within Nature