eat weed

So I just learned something that pisses me off.
Y’know quinoa? The ~magical~ health food that has become so popular in the US that a centuries-long tradition of local, sustainable, multi-crop farming is being uprooted to mass-produce it for the global market? Potentially affecting food stability and definitely effecting environmental stability across the region?

Ok, cool.

Y’know Lamb’s Quarter? A common weed throughout the continental US, tolerant of a wide variety of soil conditions including the nutrient-poor and compacted soils common in cities, to the point where it thrives in empty lots?

These plants are close relatives, and produce extremely similar seeds. Lamb’s quarter could easily be grown across the US, in people’s backyard and community gardens, as a low-cost and local alternative to quinoa with no sketchy geopolitical impacts. You literally don’t have to nurture it at all, it’s a goddamn weed, it’ll be fine. Put it where your lawn was, it’ll probably grow better than the grass did. AND you can eat the leaves - they taste almost exactly like spinach. 

This just… drives home, again, that a huge part of the appeal of “superfoods” is the sense of the exotic. For whatever nutritional benefits quinoa does have, the marketing strategy is still driven by an undercurrent of orientalism. You too could eat this food, grown laboriously by farmers in the remote Andes mountains! You too could grow strong on the staple crop that has sustained them for centuries! And, y’know, destroy that stable food system in the process. Or you could eat this near-identical plant you found in your backyard. 

  • thin girl: all i do is eat pizza and smoke weed and play video games
  • everyone: god... she is The Dream Girl... so cute and Unique... shes not like the other girls who only eat salads, shes Real
  • fat girl: i like pizza too
  • everyone: wow... consider being healthy maybe? disgusting

Things to do instead of eating

Things to Do Instead Of Eating:
- read 50 pages of a book
- Binge watch a TV series or a new movie
- Organize even more
- Write down rewards for each goal weight
- Paint nails
- Shower
- Take a relaxing bath
-Shave
- Find a game to play
- Learn something new
-Plan your outfits
-Do homework
-Study
-Create a journal
-Exercise
-Walk around
-Paint
-Draw
-Lay in bed
-Play with a cat
-Plan your meals and when you can eat
-Shop online
-Look at thinspo
-Work on that fanfic
-Text someone
Give someone a phone call
-Work on calligraphy
-Plan ways to make money
-Make a collage
-Make punishments for eating
-Make a list
-Look at hairstyles
-Listen to music
-Watch YouTube
-Get into a new fandom
-Create a bucket list
-Create a new project
-Rewrite school notes
-Sign up for something new
-Find a new hobby
-Work on a hobby
-Work on your dream
-Look at your dream home
-Plan a trip
-Create a new music playlist
-Run somewhere
-Pet a dog
-Watch funny videos
-Go shopping
-Go to a friend’s house
-Plan a party
-Go on omegle
(If you have a s.o.) have sex
-Watch DIY videos and actually try it
-Throw away food DONT EAT IT
smoke weed
-Smoke cigarettes
-Drink coffee
-Drink green tea
-Make some memes
- Go somewhere you’ve never been. It could be a shop down the road or a different city, just avoid restaurants!
Redecorate your room
- Dye your hair
- Cut your hair
- Paint your room
- Put posters up
- Repaint your door
- Start saving up for something
- Paint your mailbox (if you own it)

8

Hobo Stove Pakoras with Backyard Foraged Dandelions

Our backyard has exploded with dandelions, and I’ve been keen to try out a camping recipe.

Hobo stove.

Upcycled from its previous life as a giant can of chickpeas, this simple device was also begging for a test drive.

Tinder. Twigs. Light.

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Dandeliiiiiiiions.

I plucked these golden nuggets straight from the yard and gave them a quick rinse. The moisture trapped in the petals hold the perfect amount to adhere the flour and spices - no need to add more. My take on the pakora mix consists of chickpea flour, coconut flour, fine cornmeal flour - a 3:1:1 ratio. For seasoning, add a pinch of garam masala, turmeric, salt, and chili powder.

Toss in bag. Coat.

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Fry.

Let the pakoras slide around the pan. Careful to turn and not burn. The hobo stove can pack a lot of heat. 

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Serve with a chutney or your favorite condiment. Can’t get more seasonal, local, homecooked, and energy-efficient than this!

BACKYARD FORAGED DANDELION PAKORA POPPERS….DONE~

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Everyone just read that in the voice of Gordon Ramsay from FWord right? Right…? Because otherwise I just wasted 30min of my life concocting this.

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