eat's you alive

Disappointment is coming, for sure! People are going to hurt you in ways you would never have believed even possible. You are going to be let-down and deeply betrayed. And there is only one thing to do when you are tragically let down — let-go. No matter how wrong they were, holding on will not make it right, and it will eat you alive over time. Don’t let them kill you twice. Letting go is the only way. — Bryant McGill

self doubt will eat you alive and consume you. you’ll become quiet, small, and incapable of becoming the person you’re meant to be. fight it. you’re better than it. this world will forever miss you if you don’t fight it. we need you. 

Double-Edged

Your fatal flaw is your saving grace.

Aries: Impulse- You act before you think. It’s either the best or worst decision of your life. Only time will tell.

Taurus: Conviction- You stubbornly stand by your beliefs. When you’re right, your conviction is a virtue beyond measure. When you’re wrong… Well, as they say, pride goeth before the fall. 

Gemini: Voice- Your words are the source of your power. You can use them to articulate divine truth or pernicious lies.

Cancer: Grip- You hold on too tight. Your grip can preserve a something fragile and precious, or make you a prisoner of the past.

Leo: Exhibition- You constantly crave attention, but you’re brave enough to put yourself out there and show the world who you are. 

Virgo: Critique- You see every little flaw. Some can be fixed. Others are impossible. You’re a sucker for a lost cause; you can save what everyone else abandoned or sink to new lows trying.

Libra: Compromise- Happiness is a small price for peace. You always choose to be the bigger person. Some days, the resentment eats you alive. 

Scorpio: Pain- You can either drag others through the same hell you’ve been through, or protect them from it at all costs. Pain is at the heart of every hero and villain. 

Sagittarius: Honesty- You speak your truth. This truth can bring laughter and joy or tears and awkwardness. Whatever. Honesty is always the best policy. 

Capricorn: Isolation- You’re alone. There’s no one to help you, but also nothing holding you back. You climb the mountaintop and stand alone at the peak.

Aquarius: Arrogance- It keeps you apart from everyone else, but gives you the freedom to truly be yourself.

Pisces: Imagination- You lose yourself in fantasies more beautiful than anything this world has to offer. You’re never really here, but why would you want to be?

No offense but if you ever did me wrong don’t hmu years later asking for forgiveness, I’ve moved on. If it’s still eating you alive you need to find it in you to forgive yourself

The Evolution of Adrien’s Game

I binged a few eps of Miraculous Ladybug while I was sick today and ended up making a long-ass observation post about Gabriel as Hawkmoth (or maybe Mr. Kubdel, wtfk) instead of resting.  Because priorities.

Anyway, here’s something else I noticed that wedged itself into my brain and won’t leave.  Prepare for another long post. 

In “Origins”:

  • Falls in love with a person he just met (proof he’s a Disney princess)
  • Which one?  Ladybug or Marinette?  Who knows.  He gives them both the same “oh shit, I think I’m in love” look.

In “Copycat (L'Imposteur):

  • Nino invites the girls to the movies and Marinette squeals.
  • Adrien’s reaction (half startled, half “that was cute wtf?”)

In “Timebreaker (Chronogirl)”:

  • He freaking winks at Marinette after complimenting her.
  • Oh yeah, you’re smooth -_-
  • Also, you’re a pirate.  ARGH MATEY!

See how this plays out below the cut:

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Kissing Styles...

James Potter: Very… very eager, but trying really… really hard to restrain himself. Knows how to do fun things with his tongue… has had a lot of practice. All in all… he’s what people like to describe as “fun”… 8/10 

Sirius Black: Knows how to adapt. Can pretty much match anyone’s kissing style, but likes deep, intense kissing the most… Also likes biting and hickeys. As talented as he is pretty. Down for basically anything… An enjoyable experience all the way around. 11/10

Remus Lupin: Nervous. Starts off slow… then kisses like it’s the last time he’ll ever kiss someone because he always feels like it’s the last time anyone will ever want to kiss him… 6/10 when he’s nervous… 9/10 when he relaxes and let’s go. 

Peter Pettigrew: Sweats a lot… too much tongue… 4/10  

Lily Evans: Expert kisser, knows her shit… at least as far as technicalities go… but lacks spontaneity. Get’s flustered when she doesn’t see something coming like James’ tongue tricks… also gets distracted easily (”SHIT! That’s due tomorrow!”)… Overall, needs some work. 6.5/10

Frank Longbottom: Handles you like you’re made of glass… very gentle… very sweet… enjoys kissing the spot just beneath your ear. Hates biting because he’s worried he’ll hurt you. Often stops to stare or chat. Worships the ground you walk on… 8/10 for kissing… 20/10 for making you feel like a goddess. 

Alice Longbottom: Kinky as fuck. 9/10

Dorcas Meadowes: Kinkier than fuck. Kisses like she owns your ass. Also hella gay. 10/10

Marlene McKinnon: Also also hella gay… less kinky. Uses a lot of tongue… but does it right. 9/10 

Mary Macdonald: Mary sue to the max… every kiss is like a reenactment of “The Notebook”. Disney-esque. 7/10

Regulus Black: Untrusting. Tends to panic if things go too quick… or too slow… or not exactly how he planned it. Perfectionist… and a bit of a control freak… doesn’t really know how to adapt to other kissing styles. 4.5/10

Narcissa Malfoy: Reserved… until between the sheets, then she will eat you alive. Mother fucking queen. Savage. Always tops. 10/10

Lucius Malfoy: Fun to look at… Terrible kisser. -5 stars. Two thumbs way down… would not recommend…. 0/10……………. alright… 2/10 for being pretty… Also… submissive af.  

Bellatrix Lestrange: Will rip your goddam lip off. 0/10…. unless you’re into that.

Fenrir Greyback: Will rip your goddam head off. -54/10

Severus Snape: Ew. 

25 No/Low Cost Self Care Acts

1. Have a drink from your favourite cup/mug. Coffee. Tea. Hell, even plain water is nicer when it’s in your fave mug (and you’re probably dehydrated rn so get on that). Allow yourself the couple of minutes to drink it in entirety.

2. Visit the library. Seriously. Nothing says quiet me time like the quiet couches and a novel in a library.

3. Look up some topics on iTunes U and read up on them. You’ll feel accomplished when you learn about a new scholarly topic.

4. Check over your resumé. Anything need to be updated or polished? Do that now, it can come in handy if an opportunity comes knocking.

5. Call a beloved family member or close friend. I just called my aunt for the first time in a little while and honestly you feel a lot lighter and a lot warmer.

6. Listen to ASMR, Binaural Beats, or guided meditation. There’s ASMR and meditation videos on youtube for pretty much any need– general relaxation, reassurance, mock spa days…

7. Volunteer at the local animal shelter. Volunteering is proven to make you feel better about yourself, petting animals helps lower your blood pressure, and nothing compares to the love and gratitude from a dog or cat.

8. Randomly browse Wikipedia or WikiHow. Clicking the random article is always an adventure– probably a laughable one, but you might learn something new.

9. Clean out your closet. It’ll feel like a lot of weight is off your shoulders, and you can sell or donate pieces that are still in good shape.

10. Write out a list of things you like about yourself. It can be tricky at first, but write down whatever comes to mind, even though it may seem trivial. Put the list away for times when you are being too hard on yourself, or need some self love.

11. Movie night. Obviously. Netflix, Hulu, library… A lot of thrift and secondhand stores often have really cheap DVDs. Re-watch your faves, allow yourself a guilty pleasure, or choose something that looks laughably awful.

12. Have a bonfire. Check your local fire codes beforehand, first. A bonfire or a fire pit is extremely soothing, especially wrapped up in a blanket.

13. Meal Plan/Prep. You’re probably going to be cooking anyway, so setting aside a day or half a day to prep meals ahead of time helps free the rest of your schedule.

14. At-Home spa day. Wash your hair. Trim your nails. Soak your feet. Exfoliate.

15. Write letters. Especially to your grandparents if you’re emotionally close– it will make them feel really loved.

16. Sleep in or nap. No explanation needed.

17. Bake cookies or make eggless cookie dough. One serving of edible cookie dough uses only spoonfuls of ingredients you probably have at home.

18. Wash your pillowcases and linens. This is especially good if you’re like me and the depression is real. Washing sheets gets neglected but the feeling of fresh sheets makes everything suck a little bit less.

19. Forgive yourself. Acknowledge that past mistake that’s been eating you alive and accept the fact that you can’t change the past. You’re still growing, still learning.

20. Keep a happiness journal. Before bed, write three things that made you smile that day. Life won’t seem all that bad, and it’s a good way to de-stress.

21. Shamelessly sing and dance along to music you enjoy. That song you would TOTALLY kill on lip sync battle? Own it.

22. If you like makeup/skincare, go to your local sephora or drugstore that has a beauty section. Sephora does free mini makeovers if it’s not busy. At the drugstore makeup counter, ask the beauty questions that you’ve wanted answers to.

23. Remember to say “no.” Declining to do a favour or go on an outing you can’t currently justify or afford does not make you a bad person. It means you have boundaries and deserve respect.

24. Watch some game shows. Lots of channels have them, and there’s plenty of compilations on youtube.

25. Let it out in writing. Sometimes having it all out in black and white can make solutions easier to realize.

I believe in you all! Remind yourself that you’re a good person, and a bad bitch 💕

how to stay productive

i rly srsly have a problem with this especially after school ))): like im always on tumblr or something so i never get anything done rip

so im gonna try to practice what i preach from now on!!! lets get into it!

preparing for productivity

  • when you get home from school or work, give yourself a 20-50 minute break. lets be honest we all have those days when we try to jump right into doing whatever the heck you need to do right when you get home but after like 20 minutes you’re distracted and a mess and not getting any work done. the easy way to prevent this is to give yourself time to do all of that before you start your work so you’re not distracted later (give urself an hour if its been an especially long day). eat a snack, wash ur face tbh, whip your hair, idk what you crazy kids do but do it. srsly. just get it out of the way.
  • get everything ya need in one place. this is kinda a no-brainer especially since it’s all over tumblr. but srsly why get up every 5 minutes to get a pencil or something? just have it all in the first place. ez.
  • turn off your phone or put it in airplane mode. personally i like to pretend like im so determined and focused but every time i see the little t at the top of my phone im just gone. don’t let it distract you. if you need the internet, use your laptop/computer for less distractions.
  • set the mood. idk what you do, whether thats playing the moana soundtrack hanging up fairy lights, putting on your diffuser or playing rap music; idk man! do it.

actually doing the thing

  • alright so now u got ur fairy lights, ur mildliners, ur face washed, and ur apple juice (??? apple juice is lit???). now throw yourself into it. literally just force yourself to do it. don’t know how??? welll!!! not sure how to help you! (no im kidding don’t leave yet pls)
  • use the touch it once rule. this is a favorite of the studyblr community. it means that everything on your to-do list, everything you know you need to accomplish– start it. just tell yourself “i’ll only do 3 math problems” or “i’ll only work on this resume for 5 minutes”. they say the hardest part is always starting. chances are, that unfinished worksheet is going to really bother you and you’ll end up finishing it. if not, then just come back to later and touch it again and again until you finish it. tedious, but it works.
  • use the “two minute rule”. i got this one from @emmastudies! this rule means that if anything on your list takes 2 minutes or less to do (checking your emails, checking your tumblr inbox or something), do it. just get it done.
  • keep it balanced. do like one easy task and then one hard task so you’re getting everything done but not overwhelming yourself either.
  • break down your tasks. don’t just look at a giant task like “write a 3-page paper”. break it down into smaller subtasks like “plan paper. draft paper. edit paper. type and print paper.” its much less scary to look at.
  • visualize procrastination as a monster. i do NOT take credit for this one; i saw it in a masterpost somewhere so this isnt mine!!! but basically i read that you should look at procrastination as a scary opponent ready to eat you alive (and honestly it is). tackle it. don’t let it attack. be so scared of it that you don’t let it get anywhere near you.
  • honestly just do it and keep at it. stop letting procrastination kick your ass so that you can be productive and stay productive. the work is it’s own reward (:

okay so i am a nerd and love the nasa comparison for IPRE and know way too much about nasa recruiting methods, so i’m here to tell y’all that one of the most important things that they do for recruiting long term missions is making sure that an entire team is compatible personality wise and will often make their final decisions on how they interact with each other and anyway i’m looking for whatever fuck that looked at taako and lup and then barry and said it’d be fine

Your Ascendant: Expression in Poetry

Felt like I should be writing today, partly because I was inspired and because it’s cathartic. Hope you all enjoy! 

Aries AC:   

a million and one sunsets cannot match the beauty of your smile // red lipstick smears on your coffee cup // and he says “care to come home with me?”

Taurus AC: 

sitting by the fireside with your oversized sweater, tired eyes // flawless without even having to try // please don’t break my heart tonight.

Gemini AC:

whispers turn into giggles, giggles into laughter // acting strange for strangers // drunk on the moonlight and maybe a beer.

Cancer AC:

you’re diving into the deep end, yet again // the craters in the crescent moon start to look like swimming pools // but dear, there are no ladders up in space.

Leo AC:

a conversation with the mirror turns into dancing in your lingerie // whiskey on the breath & a french manicure // that hair flip says: “don’t tempt me with a good time.” 

Virgo AC:

perfection leads to madness, but isn’t madness genius? // that’s what they call you, glasses and all // with a heart made of crystal that’s chipped from the world’s fist.

Libra AC:

lollipops and gumdrops, cough syrup in your cup // sickly sweet like strawberry taffy, drink it up // make a funny face and wish the next girl good luck.

Scorpio AC:

smoking outside of the city lines // the sky is red and you feel so alive // you don’t need a lighter, your penetrating gaze is the flame.

Sagittarius AC:

you’ll be the first to fly, so tell me what it’s like // riding on an elephant’s back, kissing another stranger goodnight // in the back of his car, another anatomy lesson.

Capricorn AC:

throw another pebble into the ocean and it splashes like a stone // you put on a brave face so nobody knows // won’t you stop eating yourself alive?

Aquarius AC:

your mind is like a never-ending movie, so don’t wait for those credits to roll // lucy told me that you two have met, you’re one in the same // her watercolor pictures wouldn’t let you catch your breath. 

Pisces AC:

step into the flowerchild’s garden or better yet, let’s step into her head // licorice dreams melt into cotton candy scenes // use a seashell as a cellphone & hear her voice.

-Admin L

“just… please, don’t take the kids. i’ll do a̲͇n̬͚y̬̩̝͇t͇͞h̘̼͖̪i̠͖̝̠̠ng̦͕̤̬͝ͅ.”

chase… the kids are alright. you, however… you’re a puppet.

Something I’ve run into quite a lot while doing the whole “project manager” thing is artist who are openly hostile to the idea of engaging with the “business side” of what they do. There’s this broad perception that that business side of art means advertising and merchandising and selling out, and while it certainly can mean that, a lot of it is much more basic - and it’s stuff that’s absolutely not optional if art is anything beyond a personal fun-time hobby for you.

Stuff like:

1. Having reality-based metrics for time and resource commitment - or, in plain English, making sure that what you’re charging for your commissions is actually based on how hard they are to do.

It’s downright shocking how rare this is. I’ve encountered digital artists who routinely charge less for a spec that takes them much longer to do based on purely abstract notions of how “complex” the piece is, without reference to their actual, demonstrable time commitment. Heck, I’ve run into a traditional artist who ended up making nickles per hour for a major commission because she hadn’t correctly tallied up the cost of the art supplies expended in producing it!

The only way to arrive at appropriate metrics is based on evidence; your off-the-cuff estimates will always, always be wrong. Literally time yourself as you work on pieces of various types, and write down how long it took you. And never assume that it will be quicker next time; that’s called the planning fallacy, and it will eat you alive if you let it.

2. Having a lifecycle management plan for the tools you need to work.

Tablets don’t last forever. Neither do computers. Even software can become so outdated and incompatible as to lose utility over time. Basically, your tools have a finite lifespan, and you need to have a plan for replacing them as needed.

I understand that many independent artists don’t have the means to save up for new and replacement tools, and rely on second-hand hardware, gifts from friends and family, or donation drives on their blogs to fill the gap. That’s fine - artists relying on patronage has a long and distinguished history. The important thing is that these avenues be part of a plan, not a desperate scramble after some 100% foreseeable circumstance has rendered you unable to work.

Data on average time-to-failure for your hardware is readily accessible online; if, for example, that particular brand of tablet tends to last about three years, then you need to start organising your donation drive or dropping hints for your birthday at two years and six months, even if your equipment seems perfectly fine. The same goes for software; the vendor’s support window (i.e., the time after which they’ll stop publishing bugfixes and security updates) for your version of the software is a known factor.

3.  Having a formal requirements-gathering and signoff procedure.

I know that sounds like a lot of boring paperwork, and to be honest it kind of is, but it’s also critical for anything you’re not drawing for yourself. Language is an imprecise medium; based on a few minutes of casual conversation, you can easily end up in situations where you and your commissioner have totally different understandings of what the job entails, yet you’re both convinced you’ve understood the other perfectly.

You should have a detailed written description of what’s involved, and your client’s explicit, documented confirmation that they’ve read, understood and agreed to it, before you draw a single stroke. This includes timelines and deliverables as well as content; I’ve run into numerous cases of clients who’ve alleged non-delivery of services based on their understanding that they’d be receiving a traditional, ink-and-paper piece where the artist understood the commission to involve only digital work, and more than one case where a client started hollering about breach of contract less than 24 hours after signing off because they honestly thought it would be done already.

You have to nip that in the bud; this level of documentation is a bare minimum for anyone who takes money to do art, not a nice-to-have.

Acknowledge it.
In order to move on you need to acknowledge it or it may as well eat you alive.
Pushing it aside isn’t moving on.
You need to let yourself hurt, ache, scream in pain.
Punch the wall at 3 am and watch the blood fall from the bruises on your skin and realize you’re alive, yell at your neighbors for being annoyed by the noise, screw them for trying to stop you from reaching the peace you long for so badly.
Eat pizza and ice-cream until your stomach grows sick and now you can focus on another pain other than the one on your chest.
Isolate yourself from the world for as long as you need, drink, smoke, have nightmares.
Allow yourself to be immersed on a pit of self pity because you deserve it.
You deserve to feel pity for yourself because you were hurt and are still hurting.
Immerse yourself so you can fix yourself.
It doesn’t matter how long it takes.
Then rise from that pit and don’t look back.
Start doing the things you’ve always wanted to do and don’t feel bad for focusing on the one person that was and will always matter the most, yourself.
Acknowledge the pain but don’t let it get you down anymore for you are not the person you were 15 minutes ago, imagine 4 months ago.
Allow your heart to look for somebody else because sometimes the only way is to find someone that truly deserves all you have to offer.
Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting, it means letting go of something that no longer serves and deserves you.
—  This how to move on (kind of) - Mariana Teles Fernandes
Bruise [ VIII ]

Genre [Rating] : Angst [M]

Length: 6k

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Summary: He wasn’t yours, and you weren’t his, but that couldn’t stop your heart from believing otherwise.

Bruise Masterlist

Originally posted by missmanfreda

The jacket around your chest felt too loose, cheeks puffy as the cool air nipped at them while you shuffle your feet against the damp pavement. The snow had melted but the low temperature had stayed, the ground covered by thin patches of ice. It was far too late out to be alone in front of the convenience store, but the buzzing of your phone fifteen minutes before hand had been enough to drag you outside at the hour. You’d wanted to see Chanyeol for days,  the both of you so busy you still hadn’t gotten a chance to see eachother more than a few minutes for an entire week. You’d been trying to focus on the overwhelming amount of coursework professors were dumping on you, while Chanyeol was having a busy time at the studio; at least that’s what he said.

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The Kindness of Strangers

Square Filled- In heat

Rating- Explicit

Tags- Alpha!Sam x Omega!reader, being in heat, dom/sub undertones, smut

Word Count- 2800ish

A/N: For @spnabobingo. The reader is in heat and needs an Alpha to take care of her. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


Everyone is downstairs, trying to catch a glimpse of anything happening inside Mrs. Miller’s apartment. You feel bad, you really do. No one deserves to be murdered, let alone in their own home. And the fact that it seems to be a completely random, nonsensical murder in your apartment building is unsettling.

But you can’t join the rest of your neighbors outside her door, peeking in over the caution tape and straining their ears to hear the police talk. Not when you’re sweating and cramping and curling your toes at a very ill-timed heat.

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