eat those words

Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman

Requested. [I feel like this was awful, because I struggle with comedy. But I tried]

Song or Quote : “I’m not a damsel, not tonight at least.” & “ Do you even watch the news? Come on, I’m Spider-Man. You know, stringing up criminals and saving damsels?“

“What’s a pretty girl like you doin’ all by yourself in these mean ole streets, huh?” 

[Y/N]’s head swiveled to her left, stepping sideways off the sidewalk to get out of reach. She narrowed her eyes, this guy looked like trouble and reeked of cheap booze and menthol. “Going home.” 

The way his eyes raked over her, made [Y/N] feel uneasy. She knew her time was coming to cross paths with the crooks of the city. It had only been a little less than a month since she had moved here. But, [Y/N] could bet that walking home alone in the dark was the sure way to come across one. 

He smirked towards her, his teeth oddly glistening in the flickering street light. “Takin’ some late night pilate classes?” The man’s eyes skimmed over her gym bag that was slung over her body, “What kind of goods you got in there, hon?”  

If asked what her worst trait would be, it would be that she was extremely outspoken. She always struggled to keep her mouth shut in situations that called for it to stay closed. This was one of those times that she blatantly ignored her better judgement. Squinting her eyes, she cocked a brow. “I don’t know what I’m more shocked about. The fact that you believe that you’ll be able to mug me or the fact that you know what pilates is.” Taking a step back when he stepped forward, she narrowed her eyes. “And if you must know, I take mixed martial arts, so believe me when I say despite the vast height and weight difference between us, I could kick your ass with my eyes closed.” 

“You a bit ballsy, ain’t you?” He growled while he cracked his fingers, “I’m going to make you eat those words that’s been comin’ out that pretty little mouth.” 

[Y/N], you should probably stop while you’re ahead. Gasping like she was scared, her hands flew to her mouth. Pretending to shake, she squealed out. “Oh no, oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. Please, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean any of that. Oh, please don’t hurt me.” Or not

Before the mugger could respond, the sound of laughing made them both jump. Searching in the dark to find the source of laughter, they finally looked up to the fire escape of the closest building. Standing on the railing, with one hand propped up against the bricked building, the other was placed on his stomach while he was bent over still laughing. 

“Oh man, I just love sarcasm.” He laughed, “It’s like punching someone in the face but with words.” 

[Y/N] squinted her eyes, who the fuck

Before she could get the chance to ask, the mugger growled out in anger. “And just what the hell are you supposed to be?” 

“Ditto,” she muttered. 

Jumping from the fire escape, he landed gracefully in front of them. Shrugging his shoulders, “Do you even watch the news?” Whoever the masked man was, sounded incredibly insulted. Groaning, he shook his head. “Come on, I’m Spiderman. You know stringing up criminals and saving damsels?” Leaning against the mugger, [Y/N] could only assume he winked in her direction while he clicked his tongue and pointed towards her.

"I’m not a damsel, not tonight at least.” She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, “This guy’s a joke, I could take him with or without you.” Seriously, [Y/N]? Do you ever think before you speak? It’s called a goddamn filter.

Spiderman shook his head, “Man, she’s a little feisty.” Looking up at the mugger, he snickered. “Isn’t she?” 

“Get your damn hands off me.” The guy yelled, slinging Spiderman off his shoulder, he pulled a knife out from his jacket. “Come on Spiderman let’s see what you got kid.” 

Spiderman chuckled, “Funny you mention the whole kid thing because this kid is going to kick your ass, dude.” Flicking his wrist, a web shot out and landed onto the mugger’s hand with the knife. Flicking his wrist again, he webbed the knife out his hand. “Oh shame you don’t have that anymore.” 

[Y/N] yelped slightly, “Yo, is that stuff coming out of you?!”

“What? No! Ugh, I made it.” He groaned, looking down at his hands, he started moving them towards the device on his wrist. “I engineered it to-” Getting cut off by the mugger yanking back on the web, Spiderman flew forward. Before he made it close enough for the mugger to grab him, he shot out another web and stopped himself. Chuckling, “You’re going to have to do better than that if you want to get me.” 

“You some piece of work kid.” The mugger growled. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He snorted. 

[Y/N] felt sort of freaked out. Biting her lip, she tried to process what was going on. First, she decides to walk home alone, in the dark from the gym. Then, a creepy man stops her when she passes an alley. Next, she decides to be mouthy because she’s always been that way. And now, a man kid person in a spandex suit was trying to save her. “Is this? Is this,” moving her hand in their direction, she raised a brow, “normal?” 

Spiderman glanced in her direction before webbing the guy up against the building, pointing at him, he scolded. “Don’t steal, the Government doesn’t like competition.” Turning towards [Y/N], he casually walked towards her. “Is what normal?” 

“That….this whole thing? I mean is this normal?” She motioned towards his suit and then the web. “Is it normal for a kid vigilante to be running the streets at night in spandex?” 

“Don’t insult the suit, man.” Spiderman ran his hand down his torso, “This is a one of a kind.” 

Squinting her eyes, she muttered, “I don’t doubt that.” 

He tossed his head, shaking his head. Looking back towards her, he fake gasped. “I’m sorry, did I just roll my eyes out loud?”

“I can’t even see your eyes!” 

“Stop insulting me.”

Feeling frustrated, “I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you!” 

Before Spiderman could have a chance to respond, the sound of heavy footsteps and chains rattling interrupted their small argument. Instinctively, he stepped protectively in front of [Y/N]. 

“What the hell is going on out there?” A voice yelled from the alley.

Tony, get your ass out here and get me down!” The mugger yelled.

“Hey, I know a Tony.” He looked over towards [Y/N] nodding. “He’s a good friend-” stopping short, they both gulped at the sight of the stacked guy emerging from the alley with heavy artillery. “That….that um, that is not the same Tony I know.” Turning around, he shot webbing towards [Y/N], pulling her in close, he whispered, “Hold on.” 

“I’m sorry, do what?”

With no response, they were both zipping through the air. [Y/N] could feel her heart leaping out of her mouth when her eyes adjusted to the height at which they were flying at. Yelping, she held on tight and closed her eyes. She felt like they were in the air for hours but that was due to the fact that she was incredibly terrified of heights. 

Once she felt solid ground on under her feet, she retracted herself from the kid and fell to the ground. Her chest was heaving from her adrenaline coursing through her body. “Why did you think that was a good idea?” 

“I mean it was either run away or be shot and I’ve got a lot of life to live so I ran with option B.” Sitting on the ground in front of her, he chuckled, “And normally my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas.” 

Clutching her chest to try to slow down her heart rate, she flickered him a look. “Like dressing up in spandex and looking for trouble?” Taking a deep breath, she sighed. “Shouldn’t you be playing video games or hooking up with girls after curfew?” 

Spiderman reached up to the scratch the back of his head, wanting to laugh at how ridiculous the last part sounded. If only this girl knew who he was under his mask. “Yeah the thing about that is I don’t know how to act my age because I’ve never been this age before.” 

Standing up, she dusted herself off. “Right.” Looking around her to make sure nothing fell out of her bag, she looked at the masked hero. “I guess I should thank you for saving me.” 

Standing up, he shook his head. “It’s not really a problem. It’s what I do.” 

“I suppose so.” Chewing on her lip, “Who are you? I mean I know your Spiderman, but you’ve got have a face under that mask.” 

Stepping backwards, he chuckled. “I’m just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.” Slinging a web, he saluted. “I’ll see you around.” And then he was off, leaving [Y/N] staring after him. Maybe moving to this city wasn’t so bad. 

Dialogue I will never forget as long as I live
  • sonic: hey that's!
  • shadow: that blue hedgehog again of all places
  • sonic: i found you!!
  • sonic: faker!!
  • shadow: faker??
  • shadow: i think youre the fake hedgehog around here
  • shadow: youre comparing yourself to me??
  • shadow: HA
  • shadow: you're not even good enough to be my f
  • sonic: ilL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WORDS

Lance: hey, that’s-

Keith: -that blue pilot again of all places!

Lance: i found you, faker!

Keith: faker? i think you’re the fake pilot around here! you’re comparing yourself to me? hah! you’re not even good enough to be my fake!

Lance: i’ll make you eat those words!

Keith: you won’t even get the chance!

Pidge: [tears streaming down her cheeks] why did god put me on this ship

Kiss My Ass

Anon asked:  How about Fem Reader is Ben’s older sister who was sent to the island for some reason and she comes back in a relationship with Evie or Mal (or both😏). Baby you’re writing lights up my tumblr.

I’m very sorry this is short and it sucks hahahaaa…….*cries*

@zacktxylor

Warning: Polyamory


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glorydollx-deactivated20170919  asked:

Hello candy cane, I've been meaning to start eating healty. Do you have any tips to eat healty and feel as pure as milk? And may I ask you what do you usually eat in a day?

hello lilac
eating healthy is such a vague concept and each body functions slightly differently according to the foods it consumes. as well, I am not a dietitian (though I do like to read about nutrition). however, I find a simple vegetarian diet consisting high in carbs (fruits and vegetables) and low in fat works best for me…

♡ breakfast: greek yogurt and fruit; a scone and a cup of tea; blueberry pancakes or crepes (on special occasions)
♡ lunch: broccoli/spinach, rice/potatoes, apple, berries (sometimes I include a yogurt or fruit tart)
♡ dinner: rice and fruit (pomegranates, cherries, strawberries…mango in the summer); avocado sushi and edamame; rice and guacamole tacos; neapolitan pizza (on special occasions)
♡ “midnight” snack: ginger candy; lemon tart; carmel chocolates; tea with milk & honey

Fun Fact Time

Jamie Benn (of the Dallas Stars) went to my highschool back in the day. He was in a math class my current science teacher taught, and the teacher says that Jamie failed the class but didn’t think he’d need grade 10 math because he was going to play in the NHL. My teacher and most of the class had told him it wasn’t likely.
My teacher was laughing when he said “man, did I eat those words.”

Kink: Cumming in pants

Summary: Bucky get’s off watching you train..

Warnings: Pretty self explanatory don’t you think?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Originally posted by marvelmania15

(This gif has nothing to do with the story, I just really like it lol!)

When I got to the gym today for my daily practice sessions, I wasn’t expecting to see Bucky, my boyfriend, in there as well. Bucky usually waits till the gym is empty to make an appearance there. Today he must have made a different call. I am however, apparently not ready for what he has in store.

“Hey, (Y/N)! You ready to train? Buck won’t be a distraction will he? We can go somewhere else if he is.” I roll my eyes, Steve treats us like we’re a bunch of horny teenagers.

“I’m fine, Rogers. I think I can practise with my boyfriend in the distance, he’s not THAT gorgeous you know.” I throw a wink to Buck for the added effect. Buck rolls his eyes while Steve laughs.

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  • Mickey: Hey that's...!
  • Oswald: That black mouse again, of all places...
  • Mickey: I found you!
  • Mickey: FAKER
  • Oswald: Faker?? I think you're the fake toon around here. You're comparing yourself to me!?
  • Oswald: hA H
  • Oswald: You're not even good enough to be my fa-
  • Mickey: I'LL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WORDS
No Slouching!

I have this personal headcanon that Lance used to be a ballet performer and was hella talented. He applied to the Garrison on a whim and a dream and got in, but he had already been given acceptance letters from various Dance schools across the country and so here is a fun, short fic enjoy!

Preview: 

Lance gave Keith a dead-eyed look of disbelief, his mouth twitching up into a wry smile, “She’s Russian, Keith. The Russians take their ballet as seriously as Allura takes the forming of Voltron.”


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