eat the low dogs

Dromund Kaas Street Food

Every planet has its own unique roster of local food and Dromund Kaas is no different. Even though the Empire’s capital world gets a lot of imported food from numerous other planets, the local cuisine of Dromund Kaas is still primarily dominated by seafood.

And the street food of the planet certainly reflect on this.

By far the most popular and common street food found on Dromund Kaas (and especially in Kaas City) are roasted fish on sticks.
Fish sticks. Simple and delicious.

An entire fish is skewered onto a stick, mildly seasoned with whatever spice(s) the customer requests, then roasted and cooked to perfection in a fire. There’s also an array of sauces one can drizzle on the fish as well.
The species used for these are soft-boned, so the entire fish can be eaten with no concerns for stray fish bones getting stuck.

There is a variety of this “dish” that consists of multiple smaller fish on a stick.

Sometimes these smaller fish are marinated or glazed before roasting, giving all the flavor it needs in one go.

Another common sight are the many different kinds of Fish loaves or Sea-loafs.

These are made from a mixture of ground up organs, connective tissue, fat, and anything that’s not bone or pure muscle (aka meat) from the aquacultural harvesters (aka fish slaughterhouses) with some starch or flour. They can be shaped, seasoned, colored, and cooked in many different ways.

Many are boiled in broth, steamed, or fried while skewered on sticks.

There are also non-fish critters on sticks as well.

Some of the native cephalopod species have also found a way to become delicious street food.

Usually skewered, stuffed, and grilled, these squid snacks are also a local favorite.

There’s also the array of smaller crustaceans and shellfish, all battered and deep fried before being shoved into a cup.

And you get sticks with these sea fritters.

The shelled creatures used for street food like this are all soft-shelled, and like their fish stick counterparts, the whole thing can be eaten.
Dromund Kaas maintains itself to be a very clean planet and minimizes waste, including food waste, which led to the use of animals that can be eaten whole.

And like any planet with a sizable Sith population, there are a number of soup stands that are found throughout Kaas City.

Sith themselves hardly ever go to these seeing them as “lowbrow cuisine”. However, the Sith-inspired soup dishes served at these stands draw in the local Imperial crowds with their delicious, quick meals.

Why is it so easy to eat healthy in the summer?

Grilled veggies, cloud bread “bun” for the hot dog, watermelon.

Paleo Cloud Bread:
- 3 eggs, divided into yolks and whites
- ¼ teaspoon baking soda
- 3 tablespoons mayo

Add the baking soda into the egg whites and beat until stiff peaks form. Mix mayo and yolks together, then slowly fold into whites.

Use a measuring cup to scoop out mix onto parchment paper lined baking sheets. I made mine into a long shape for hotdogs, but you can make them into circle shapes for burgers or whatnot.

Bake at 300 degrees for 30 minutes.

Under Pressure

Yet another Jazi’s Adventures in Dog Training post!

On Friday nights, I have a dog I will call L*. L is a very pretty tailed long haired rottie mix that came to me because her injured owner cannot control her on walks. While we’ve since solved that problem for the most part, L has a very big problem with something she experiences during training.

Pressure.

For me, L is a very frustrating dog to train. She has an exceptionally low tolerance for her own failures. She was never taught to chase or value food, she was discouraged heavily from being overly interested in toys after a close call with a blockage after eating a children’s toy, and she is a relatively passive, calm, low drive dog. She was never taught how to deal with stress, frustration, or failure in a healthy manner, and as a result has shown up to her past 3 classes with her tail tucked because she is dreading something.

Pressure. She’s dreading pressure. The pressure of me asking her to do something that she’s not sure how to do, the pressure of her feeling conflicted with her limited grasp of impulse control, the pressure of her owners’ disappointment when she fails and gives up- all of those were too much for her. I never want to see my class dogs come in with a lowered head and tucked tail because they are dreading the idea of coming to class in the first place. We’ve tried changing up our rewards, we’ve tried doing other fun things, we’ve tried different locations within the parking lot and timeslots- nothing has made much of a dent in her stress levels.

This is where I would get in trouble for breaking my company’s rules on cookie cutter training. Instead of forcing L to continue to try and fail at luring (which I am supposed to be relying on), I instead explained the concepts behind a clicker, shaping, and capturing (all of which btw are supposed to be taught in a different, 4 week class that has prerequisites) and we set to work on that.

Within about 15 minutes, L’s tail was up and wagging. She was interested in training and readily figuring out how to shape her place command. She was offering a sit- which has been the stopping point for the past several lessons- readily while listening specifically for her click reward. Her owners weren’t able to feel frustrated or disappointed and that encouraged her to keep trying even when she guessed something wrong. In other words- we took pressure off of her, and she immediately brightened and opened back up.

L is a dog that has never even had so much of an NRM in class. I would not call her a fearful dog, but she is very sensitive to her owners and how they feel regarding her, and the pressure of expectation and insecurity and potential failure and disappointment was far too much for her to be happy to continue to come to class. And yet, by the end, she was happily plopping herself onto the bed, offering a sit, and prancing around the ring with her head and tail high and a big wide smile on her face.

This is something I warn people to keep an eye out for with their puppies. If your dog is offering avoidance behaviors with you during training, and you know for a fact that you have not been using corrections, then you are likely putting far too much pressure on your puppy and you are stressing them out! But L is the first instance I’ve seen this to this extent in an untrained adult dog.

I have another client with a puppy, let’s call him J. J is a lab that is going through an absolutely horrible fear period. Everything scares him but especially people- but at the same time he is very social and really wants to say hi… but what if the approaching stranger is really a monster??? J’s owner really wants him to be a happy-go-lucky perfect family dog loves everyone lab, and I think J can do that as an adult, but right now J needs a lot of help overcoming his shaken confidence and resolving his fear.

J’s owner tends to nag with his commands, something I think I fuss at him for every class, and while he doesn’t intend to his body language is very confrontational. He is also not much of a dog-wise guy and he gets very frustrated with J when he disconnects. This is far too much pressure for J on most days and they struggle to complete even the most basic of tasks because J honestly wishes he could be anywhere except attached to a leash with his owner. Through a lot of introspection, J’s owner has calmed down the nagging (mostly) and has gotten ahold of his disappointment and frustration over his too-high expectations of his struggling puppy, and amped up his own happy emotional response to J’s ability to complete a session without disconnecting from him. We are still working on the body language awareness but J has been leagues better now that he feels less pressure as he trains.

Both dogs have been trained specifically with +R/-P only- the pressure they are feeling is not a fear of a correction or aversive, but the emotional responses of their owners and too-high expectations being placed on them far, far too quickly. Remember to be fair with how much pressure you’re putting on your dog- some will always exist unless you are only training via capturing, but you will see when it’s too much when your dog would rather be doing literally anything else besides interacting with you. Your dog is no longer learning at that point- it just wants to leave.

*As always, names changed, shortened, or otherwise modified for client privacy.

Recently I read the book Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer.  It is an intensive look at how devastating the effects of animal agriculture are on our environment, our health, and on our daily lives. While reading, I decided to take notes on some of the of the facts I found surprising. Please understand that on top of the 3 years Foer spent researching this book, he also had two independent fact-checkers verify the validity of his claims as well as has every single fact cited and sourced in the appendices.  

By The Numbers:

  • 450 billion animals a year are factory farmed.
  • 10 billion land animals are slaughtered in North America each year.
  • 50 billion birds are killed each year.
  • 1/3 of the land on earth is used for animal agriculture.
  • Animals agriculture is a 140 billion dollar a year industry.
  • Chickens lay 300 eggs per year.
  • KFC buys 1 billion chickens per year.
  • A cow is slaughtered at 12-14 months.
  • 99% of milk and egg production is factory farmed.
  • Each American eats 21,000 animals in their lifetime.

Pollution 

  • Meat eaters produce 7 times the greenhouse gasses than vegans do.
  • Meat on average travels 1500 miles.
  • According to the UN, Animal agriculture makes up 18% of all global warming. 40% greater than all transportation in the world combined
  • According to the EPA, animal excrement has polluted 25,000 miles of waterways in 22 states.
  • Land degradation due to factory farming has cost americans 26 billion dollars in property value.

Shit

  • A typical pig farm will produce 7.2 million lbs of shit annually, Chicken farm: 6.6 million lbs and a typical cattle feed lot: 334 million lbs.
  • All farmed animals in the U.S. produce 130 times more raw waste than the human population
  • In the U.S. animals produce 87,000 of shit per second.
  • People and pigs shit about the same amount. About 281 lbs. per year.

Production costs.

  • It takes between 6-26 calories of food to produce 1 calorie of animal flesh.
  • Animal agriculture uses 756 million tons of grain and corn per year, much more than enough to feed the 1.4 billion humans who are living in dire poverty.
  • 98% of the 255 million ton global soy crop is fed to animals.
  • Due to bycatch (the catching of untargeted animals while fishing), 26 lbs. of animals are killed to catch 1 lbs. of shrimp.
  • By 2050, the world’s livestock will consume as much food as 4 billion people.

The Human Factor

  • Studies show vegetarians and vegans meet or exceed their daily protein requirement.
  • Excess animal protein can lead to osteoporosis, kidney disease, calcium stones and some cancers.
  • Vegetarians have lower blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, and lower BMI than meat eaters.
  • Children raised on the grounds of a typical hog farm have asthma rates exceeding 50% 
  • Due to the industrial expansion on factory farming, half a million independent hog farmers have gone out of business in the last 25 years.
  • Factory farm and slaughterhouse employees, which are made up  substantially of  immigrant labor, have an annual turn over rate of 150%
  • Cow slaughter workers have the highest work related injuries of an job at 27% annually.
  • Farmers are 4 times more likely to commit suicide.
  • 2 generations ago virtually all farms were family farms.
  • In 1950 one farm worker supplied 15.5 consumers. today its 1 to 140.
  • Vegetarianism will prevent deforestation, curb global warming, reduce pollution, save oil reserves, lessen the burden on rural america, improve public health, and help eliminate the  systematic animal abuse in world history.

Things to think about

  • Less than 1% of animal meat comes from family farms.
  • There isn’t enough non-factory farmed chickens in the country to feed the population of Staten Island and not enough Non-factory farmed pork to feed New York City.
  • Factory farming relies on their customers having a nostalgic  image of farming.
  • Thanksgiving day accounts for 18% of Turkey consumption.
  • Americans spend less percentage of their income on food than any civilization in history
  • In perspective terms, the genetic manipulation of chickens has increased its growth rate so much that it would be equivalent to a child weighing 300 lbs. by the age of 10 from only eating granola bars and vitamins.
  • Modern turkeys cant walk, jump or naturally reproduce.
  • 83% of poultry contains Campylobacter or Salmonella at time of sale.
  • In the U.S., consumers ingested 3 million lbs. of antibiotics each year. Farm animals were fed 24.6 million lbs. of antibiotics which only account for preventative use. 
  • Pigs have complex social hierarchies and social groups.

Ethics

  • A person who regularly consumes animal products cannot call themselves an environmentalist without divorcing it from its meaning.
  • Every time you purchase an animal product you are farming by proxy.
  • Taste shouldn’t exempt ethics. A horny person has as much right to rape an animal as a hungry person has to kill and eat it.
  • If an equally more advanced creature started treating us like fish, what would our argument be to not being eaten?

But What About Dogs

  • Cows, pigs, chickens and many sea animals are as smart as dogs
  • 3-4 million cats and dogs are killed each year
  • if you let dogs unrestrictedly multiply and eat the unwanted dogs you have a high producing, low input method of animal protein production that puts the best farms to shame. 
  • Euthanized cats and dogs are sold farms to factory farms to feed livestock. 
My Top Ten Final Fantasy VI quotes

“Why do you build, knowing destruction is inevitable? Why do you yearn to live, knowing all things must die?” 
Kefka

“Mr. Thou! Mr. Thou!”
Gau


“Leave us. The dog eats strangers…”
–Shadow

“A two-headed coin..? How low can you get? I love it!”
–Setzer


“Thou art a royal pain in the — Confound it all! He’s got me talking like him!”

–Sabin

“Life… Dreams… Hope… Where do they come from? And where do they go…? Such meaningless things… I’ll destroy them all!”
–Kefka


“It’s a little tight, but the price was right"

–Locke after stealing a merchant’s clothes

“Nothing can beat the music of hundreds of voices screaming in unison!”
–Kefka


“Were you always that pretty?”
–Locke to Celes in the dressing room

“Don’t tease the octopus, kids!”
–Ultros 

8

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

“Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”

sometimes i like to entertain myself by imagining how ryan would be on twitter:

  • only logs on every 65 days or so
  • his default picture is his wedding photo
  • his description just says, “i like to travel and act”
  • first tweet: “the team got me to make twitter x i’m happy to be here for fans x looking forward to a great year with all of you x robert sugden”
  • likes all of John Bowe, Louise Marwood, Adam Fielding’s tweets
  • replies to every fan with “honour and privilege to have your support x robert” even if they tweeted the twitter equivalent of junk mail
  • retweets film reviews
  • replies to spam accounts w/o realizing they’re spam
  • sees a fan tweet him “hi dad!!” and replies with “??? x ryan”
  • during episodes, he’d livetweet like “hi x what an episode! x was great to film with danny x”
  • the only photo he ever tweets in the entire timespan of his twitter is a low quality photo of tommy hawley eating dog kibble
  • occasionally refers to what daisy tells him, ie “daisy tells me the fans loved last week’s stuff x glad to hear it x what an honour x ryan”
Pro tips for people with dogs

•If your dog has bad joints, give it a glucosamine tab every day. You can get these at pet stores or target or Walmart. But if your dog refuses to eat them (like my dog), buy some low dose (81 mg) aspirin and hide it in a piece of meat or pill pocket to ease the joint pain. Do this only once daily if you have a small dog, twice for medium or large dogs.

•If you have an older dog (or cat!) that has trouble chewing or is losing weight too quickly, add some warm water to their food, let it sit for about 8-10 minutes, fluff it up with a fork, and they should be easily able to eat their mush!

•If you have a noisy dog, get one of those kong chew toys, put some canned dog food in it (but please stay away from cheap brands, I recommend purina one) and freeze it. When you have company, this should shut you pup up for a good hour.

Need advice on pets? Ask me! I work at an animal kennel/grooming place/pet supply store and I love sharing my knowledge!

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