eat stuff

wow my mom has been back only for a few hours and she already manages to make a comment on what I’m eating. lmao i just got out the bread and ate a small piece of bread because i was hungry and hadn’t eaten much all day and she said “bread and pasta in one day?”. and its fuckng hypocritical bc they just bought my brothers mcdonalds (which is fine idc but why is she telling me that eating a little bit of bread and pasta is unhealthy). then when the pasta was done she wanted to put this sauce on it that i wasnt sure if it was vegetarian or not and my dad told her that, so she rolled her eyes and i said that she could put it on the pasta if she wanted and i wasnt having any and left.

10

jake peralta doing IT for/because of amy santiago

Humans are Weird: Spices

Alien: Today in my “Human Studies” book, I’m reading about human foods.

Human: Ooh, cool.

Alien: But I’m not sure this is accurate. It says here that humans purposely ingest a plant high in a pain-causing chemical, capsaicin.

Human: Oh, peppers? Yeah. Spicy.

Alien: But why would you want to eat something that causes you pain?

Human: Some people like the burn. I think it causes the same sort of reaction as drinking alcohol…?

Alien: That activity doesn’t make sense to me either. Can we discuss it after?

Human: Sure.

Alien: So, these “peppers.” Do you enjoy eating them?

Human: Me? Well, not by themselves. But I do like somewhat spicy foods. My brother, though, he likes them much hotter. He’s eaten some really spicy peppers, even ate a ghost pepper by itself.

Alien: Ghost pepper.

Human: Yeah, it’s the spiciest natural pepper. His face got pretty red, and he got the hiccups.

Alien: That… doesn’t sound like a healthy reaction.

Human: It just means that it’s a really spicy pepper. I mean, if I ate one of those, it might kill me, but he was fine.

Alien. Why would it kill you?

Human: Too spicy. You have to have a tolerance for capsaicin or it can literally kill you. And the ghost pepper is so hot that to handle it, you gotta wear gloves.

Alien: Your planet has plants that can KILL people, and which you can’t handle directly, and your brother ATE ONE, by ITSELF??

Human: Yeah.

Alien: …

Human: He says that when he gets desensitized to ghost pepper, he wants a Carolina Reaper.

Alien: I’m almost afraid to ask.

Human: …

Alien: What’s a Carolina Reaper?

Human: A pepper scientifically engineered for spiciness. It’s currently the world’s hottest pepper.

Alien: *stares at human in disbelief*

Alien: *stares at human studies book*

Alien: *stares at human again*

Alien: *whispers to self* How… how are humans real?

anyway i came out to my nine year old sis as trans and she literally went “dope i got a brother now” and “dude i love your name, you are such a nathan” and then she stole my drink and ran off (rip my frappuccino). then we both came out to each other as bi??? and she said peyton from izombie was hot and i was like same, and then we watched like eight trans videos on youtube. Also whenever she calls me nate i cant even reply im so in shock and happy, so today has been a good day 

Bisexual Bob strikes again and causes death Eric R. Bittle

•Ok, but does anyone else get the feeling that when Bitty and Jack go to dinner with Bob and Alicia, Bob just… flirts with Bitty.
•Just trying to do the dad thing and embarrass his child in front of the SO.
•Why drag out the baby pictures that he has inevitably seen when you can just make him blush?
•Alicia is so exasperated by the end of dinner. “Robert. That poor boy is as red as the cherries in his pies! Leave him alone.”
•Bob just grins at Jack and winks. “Didn’t mean to make a grab at your boy, son.”
•And jack just smiles lightly, all while gripping at Bitty’s thigh, because you KNOW that Jack is just… a SMIDGEN possessive.
•After dinner, Jack goes to Bob in private and more or less tells him, “Papa, I love you, but keep your mitts off of my man.”
•Bob is so happy that his teasing led to this that he gets choked up.
•Jack just… awkwardly slides out of his fathers hug and says, “Glad we had this talk.”

•And poor, sweet Bitty is just lying down, because all he wanted was to enjoy and evening eating good food with his boyfriend and his parents, and inSTEAD, gets flirted with by a retired hockey god, because APPARENTLY, this is his life now.