eat me ink me

so i ACTUALLY listened to a stream for hecking once, and while i maybe grasped only like 67% of what happened i know i love goodness gladwell and hope she makes it back safely to her wife

Are we good now?
Are we even?
The night you threw words at me like knives
And goddamnit what a good aim you have
Because I’ll never be as thin as you want me to be
And every bite I take is me counting calories wishing I could stop
Guilt strips for me, it gives me a lap dance
It fucks me all over the place
The night you asked if I ate a bag of popcorn all by myself
Yes mom, I did
I could eat another
I could eat the whole world
I would still feel empty
And the food tastes like nothing
And I cry in the bathroom with my head next to the toilet
And words dance in front of me but I can’t reach them
So I lie there
Reciting all my sins like a prayer
Starting with ‘I ate too much today’

It’s been three days and I don’t know what to do because every time I eat I throw up and I know all the rules now like play music and turn the fan on so they can’t hear you and brush your teeth and scrub the toilet afterwards. and this hasn’t become a problem yet right? because I can’t ever quite empty out my stomach completely and I still need a bit of recovery time afterward because I look like a mess and it’s only happened three times so tell me how far it has to go before it’s too far. tell me how far I’m allowed to sink before it’s dangerous, tell me how much is too much, tell me when I’m supposed to stop.

if I know what I’m getting into does that make it okay?
i want to know that I can stop but it’s been three days and already I’m not sure I could.

—  Oh my god what am I doing to myself

pomegranates are a tough fruit to love.
it is tough opening them
tough eating them
tough cleaning up afterwards.
so when they told me
that was the fruit you decided to pick
i was surprised.
apples, sure.
maybe even oranges.
but pomegranates?
i never understood why you
with all your power
decided to go the hard way.
pry the fruit open with your bare hands
fingers bloody from nails breaking
i didn’t understand your choice.
until one day 
i did.

the legends often forget your spirit.
they categorize you under 
stupid little girl who got kidnapped
who didn’t listen to what she was told.
i am ashamed to admit how long
it took me to start loving you.
and the thing they forget about you
is that you were smart.
you were calculating.
you saw an opportunity
and you grabbed it.
i admire you.
you tricked the entirety of olympus.
no one can say that.

pomegranates are a tough fruit to love.
but you were never the one to turn down 
a challenge.
your marriage shows it.
so in one bite you stopped a war
but not before you made your hands bloody.
in many ways
you chose your fruit well.
pomegranates guard their insides
with much care
and if you are not careful
they cause a mess.

—  to persephone, who chose her battles wisely (2:46am // nyx)

anonymous asked:

I'm about to start studying art history and kinda want to incorporate that into my lolita wardrobe...what are some of your fave lines/prints based on works of art or artist motifs? ^^;

Eat Me Ink Me used to have basic skirts that they offered with various paintings on them and I was super excited about it because they had Fragonard’s The Swing which is one of my favorite paintings. They still have a few other pieces along those lines but I’m really hoping they bring that back as an option. As for something that is still available, I’ve been dying to get my hands on this dress because Starry Night is another favorite of mine. Other brands that are known for having art prints are Juliette et Justine and Lady Sloth so they’re worth looking into as well.