eat he rude

i went out yesterday emptyhanded and i came home with more prompt:

  • your mom keeps asking me out on a playdate with you (we’re so old but she doesn’t care because she thinks you don’t have friends) but my mom keeps cockblocking us
  • it was raining and i accidentally sent you a text about being stranded without an umbrella so you drove to where i am and said “uh i… was… nearby?” but like. your friends texted me about you racing off, dude, calm the shit down (it’s really cute tho)
  • i’m a waiter at this cafe and i have never seen anyone eat bread as angrily as you do
  • we accidentally rode the same taxi but it’s raining so hard that we both don’t want to get out so we just share and we realize we live in the same neighborhood
  • we’re at the same diner and you’re watching the hockey game i couldn’t watch last week so i walk over and ask if i can have a copy of the video (or watch with you, tbh. anything’s fine. my fave player got a hat trick and i need to see the game.)