eat for the cure

i need men to know dick or eating pussy is not the cure for everything. sometimes she just wants to lay in your lap & talk about life while you play in her hair & listen to her craziest thoughts.

smoothie bowls are pure magic 💛 

I had a bit of an unhealthy day yesterday … which is okay! but today it’s important for me to eat pure, unprocessed food to make sure it doesn’t effect my skin.  A big bowl of fruit + antioxidants is a perfect way to start off :) 

I woke up to the bright morning sun filtering in through the window today, terrified about the looming election. I went to class feeling dead inside and ate lunch by myself. I worked on two research papers and neared the end of the Silmarillion. I got on tumblr for a short break and found the greatest news that has weighed on my heart since 2013

YOUNG FUCKING JUSTICE IS GETTING A SEASON THREE

MY WOUNDS ARE HEALED, THE SKIN IS CLEAR, MY DEPRESSION ANXIETY AND EATING DISORDER ARE CURED, AND I BELIEVE IN GOD AGAIN

Various Varieties of Vegans, Pt. 2
  • minimalist vegan: probably makes youtube videos and lives out a backpack. what we should all aspire to be.
  • traveling vegan: most likely sticks to the equator and lives off of fresh fruit. alternatively, east asia is an excellent choice for vegan cuisine.
  • unstable vegan: can barely take care of theirself so compensates by being compassionate to literally everyone and everything.
  • depressed vegan: life is sad so i'm going to cry into this bowl of nice cream...
  • sad vegan: there's nothing to eat here...
  • freegan: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • healthy vegan: veganism cured my depression and made my skin glow and might as well have already cured world hunger <3
  • punk vegan: manic panic hair dye. faux leather. fresh fruits and vegetables. anarchy.
  • small town vegan: food? lol. friends? lol. you can find them in a field stroking a cat and chewing on grass with the nearby grazing cattle.
  • city vegan: food? three vegan cafes within five blocks. friends? there's a vegan meet up this weekend! you can find them in the park feeding the pigeons with a flock of other vegans.
  • synthetic vegan: only wears polyester and only eats texturized soy protein.
  • romantic vegan: is determined to convert their partner to veganism, and will never give up.
  • gay vegan: the only animal they eat is pussy. either that, or their favorite fruit is banana.
  • jaded vegan: yeah no one's ever changing and i can never find a vegan partner sooooo...
  • apologetic vegan: meat is murder! jk pls don't hurt me im a pacifist >_<
  • rampant vegan: MEAT IS MURDER! CONFESS YOUR CRIMES AND APOLOGIZE TO THIS GROUND BEEF. (also known as the vegan meat eaters expect us to be)
  • communist vegan: a spectre is haunting earth--the spectre of veganism. the powers of this planet have aligned in a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: the meat industry, the consumer, and the FDA...
Acid Reflux

Acid Reflux gone for about a month

I’m cured!

Eat greasy food no problem

Eat some spicy salsa with chips and some other spicy soup

Nevermind

Got frequent heartburn again for a few days, not as bad as before

Today it stopped

I’ll try waiting another few months before spicy food

my therapist, giving me actually useful advice about accessible coping skills that will genuinely progress my treatment: “lets make a mockup list of healthy foods that you enjoy and start from there”

my brain, running my aunt’s voice through autotune at sixty decibels: “EATING FIVE HUNDRED ORANGES AN HOUR WILL CURE YOUR DEPRESSION YOU LAZY SACK OF SHIT”

me: hmmm……….. no.

would the opposite of “looks bad todd” not be “sounds great josh”? or “tastes great josh” because id eat a copy of Fallout: New Vegas (2010) it cured my depression

It’s only been a year.

Around this time last year I was having the time of my life. The kind of “time of my life” wherein I didn’t care ¬– I was drinking hard, going out every chance I got, getting home at an ungodly hour with greasy food inside of me. I was being 21. 

I thought I was doing the post breakup single life really well, considering that in the first few months I was exercising a lot, eating healthily, always had time for family and friends with just enough time to get myself active and moving. That didn’t last long. After my birthday trip, my eating habits went berserk, gym time became…stay-at-home-to-cure-this-hangover time, the only time I had free I spent out with friends chugging beers and listening to really good music. Anyway, to cut it short, I developed a side of me that people didn’t recognise. I loved every part of it though. It felt like I was living the “normal” life. I was able to go to small bars in the middle of Cubao, share cheap alcoholic drinks and deep drunken conversations about the “adult” life, the love for film, the craziness of our country and of love. Yes. I felt like I was connecting to the real world.

Months later and one weekend getaway later.. reality punched me in the face. A conversation at 11pm after an 8 hour drive back home from the beach awakened me to what I was really doing to myself and to the people around me. All the late night going out and getting sh*tfaced is part of growing up, yes, and what makes it still okay is that I was only 21 years old. But I couldn’t take it any longer. During those days I drowning myself in the thoughts of just giving up on how to handle everything, I was living by the buzz of the beers rather than facing my demons and challenges sober and with thought. My body wasn’t taking it anymore either. I had been to the hospital twice since developing my horrible drinking habits. I wanted out.

A year later and I find myself on a Saturday night, alone in bed with my Papito snoring on his bed. Life is totally different. My boyfriend is out of town for a while getting a shoot done for his surf school and I’m here making good use of my time by filling you all in on what’s been a very good year to me. I honestly don’t regret last year (maybe the amount of alcohol consumed, that’s about it). But what makes me happy tonight is the thought that sometimes it just takes a crazy experience to get your butt kicked so you can get moving and improving again. An experience you grow through rather than just go through. 

PS.I know I promised on Twitter that I was going to post about Europe but that can wait.

PPS. I stopped drinking earlier this year due to my acidity. Don’t get me wrong, I still go out every now and then the only difference is now I stick to one glass per night out. :) Sa lahat ng magsasabing KJ, kayo nalang uminom ng alak para sakin. Tnx.