The Grubbels Frondly Warning You pose, all gold and gleaming A ten dreessed to the nines Spongeclots deaf to our screaming And to changing times Stay swimming in your mentions Too cold to feel whats coming Why do mask intentions? All you hear is drumming, drumming Drumming (x14) (instrumental) Don’t bother looking for us As if you even would Just jam out to the chorus As if you understood We sing a song of freedom the best track is the last Liner nites. Hey did you read em? We sang your epitaph (blood boils x8) Baby queen of calamari Gonna fry and dip you Way too late to say you’re sorry Way to late to fix you (instrumental)
I thought i should make this guide with suggestions for people who:
1. Don’t always have internet.
2. Go somewhere where there’s no internet.
3. The internet is slow/barely working in their area. 4. People who want to be prepared. 5. Others that i can’t think of now.
Everything I’m going to say works offline so in case the light went out for a couple of hours and you don’t know what to do to practice your target language, here are some suggestions.
You should have a notebook with grammar in it and it doesn’t really matter if you just copy-paste an entire grammar book. (However it would be pretty good if you actually pay attention to what you write otherwise you’ll have to work twice. 1st you copy-paste then you have to figure out what’s important and what isn’t and that takes pretty long time.)
Print a book. try to find a place where the printing is cheap. Usually these are small bookshops or so. Take a walk around the town and check out many places or ask friends of yours, maybe one of them knows a place.
Buy a book
Print some lists with verbs and their forms.
I’d suggest you guys to always have a list with irregular verbs. If you have time you can actually make a big poster with their forms and practice them daily (or just look at the poster, after a while you remember what you wrote) or keep it for days with no internet so you can study them.
Alternative: you can download a PDF but if you have no light for hours, your phone/laptop will die pretty soon and you might need them for more important stuff.
Always have books, magazines, comics in your target language.
Now, it doesn’t matter if they are PDF or physical. My tablet has comics in Danish in case i have no light and i’m bored. It’s pretty handy to have something to read.
Idioms all the way~
You might be a beginner so you didn’t really want to learn idioms usually because you think they are “too advanced”, however, it’s no harm to have 2 packs of flashcards at you in case you want to play a game. I said 2 packs so i should explain why. 1 is in your target language while the other is the translation. Put all the cards with their writing facing the rug/table/book/whatever and turn them 2 at the time. If the translation is the right one for the other card, take them out or leave them with their “face” up, if not, turn them again and turn 2 cards again.
pro tip: have a list with the pairs since you don’t know the meaning of the idioms.
You can buy one/download a pdf or use an offline dictionary. I’d recommend using ProDictor BitKnights Ltd. You need internet only for 5 min to download all the content and then your app is good.
Try to have at least 2-3 movies in your laptop or on a flash stick/USB. Now, if you stay 1 month at your grandparents, you might learn the lines of these movies but at least you used your listening skills.
I’m pretty sure 95% of langblrs have at least 1 song in their target language(s) but i’m still going to say this. When you’re bored, these songs will save you, also, singing improves your pronunciation.
Apps that work offline
Pocket- basically, you need internet at first (the app has to download the content and you have to log in) and after, you have to save a few stuff. The app allows you to read articles offline. It saves the page and you can acces it later.
While you are at a computer you “save” the page through the browser’s extention and they will be added to the app from your phone.
50Languages - just like every app i’m going to mention, you need internet only at the beginning. This app has games, audio, vocab. I like it for the fact that the audio is really good. As you guessed, it’s for 50 languages.
Fun Easy Learn- it has a version for words and one for phrases. The app has 7 games and you have to play them all in order to have “learned” the vocab.
Memrise - everyone knows it so i won’t say anything else than the fact that you can download a couple of their courses. (i’m not sure if for ios you can download them but i know that on os you can)
Learn- this app has audio and vocab. The game for “teaching” is more of a way of testing you after you learned the words but it’s still pretty handy.
Learn Languages - this app is built to work hand in hand with 50Languages and i just love them? So, you use 50langs for the audio and LearnLanguages tests you for what you know. If you don’t know a certain word or phrase, the app will send you notifications with what you don’t know and its translation. You set the timer (15min, 30min, 1h, 3 h).
If you have words that need to be learned and you don’t know how, Quizlet might be a good option since it has different games and also a flashcards option.
If you by any chance don’t understand something, write it down. Try to have a notebook or a paper only for questions. When you have internet again, use HiNativeor ask a native friend of yours.
Hey look at you, kid! Now in a fandom that has a
confirmed, canon, aro ace character.
I bet you are ready to jump into that trash pile
of a TV show now! Wait, the writers are queer baiting both the bi, ace, and
aromantic community? Well, 2017 is a series of unfortunate events, isn’t it?
You might not know me, I pre-date “THE
DISCOURSE” and I know all too well both who keeps certain fandoms alive
and who tries to come in to bully binary breakers. If you (luckily) missed out
Dragon Age bull shit because you were happily reading comics, I’m here to help.
To prevent assholes from pissing on your
enjoyment I suggest the following. Aphobes know what they are doing. This isn’t
years ago, where you kindly explain their bigotry, or aggressively point out all
the -isms they are doing. They’ve doxed people, they’ve suicide baited, they’ve
stalked, so on, and so on. This is 2017. It’s nazi punching season, don’t go
into anything thinking you can convince them off their bigoted rock.
If you want to engage, do so. But please mind
the emotional wear. If you were using the comics or the show as escapism, don’t
pick this battle with them. There are so many battles to be had. I’m not here
to demand anything, but I am here to tell you how to avoid the thing you love
being painfully and forcefully ruined on you.
Step 1: No platform the assholes
Don’t engage. They want your attention. They like seeing people hurt. They are
in the ace positivity tags because they want to attack you.
Step 2: Block the assholes Here’s a
list. I’m normally the last to block people, but those
who uphold oppressive systems attack from all sides. You don’t owe your
attention to anyone. It’s far too easy to see 50 shades of bullshit by
Step 3: Block nasty anons If they came into your ask box, they are asking directly for your attention. Deny them it. Tumblr lets you
block anons. Do so.
Step 4: Remember that Jughead is canonically aro
ace. They are the ones with the theories. They are the ones without confirmation.
They are the ones ripping labels off queer characters to apply their own. Fuck
what they say, this character is yours. This isn’t to embolden you, this is a
reminder not to fight those who have no power in this situation. If you are in
a fighting mood, attack systems, not their people.
so some fun facts about working in carpentry (from someone in the field) that probably no one wants but could be fun for writing about julia and mags with:
it is so so important to maintain a positive relationship with your clients and that’s probably why mags is so proud of his rustic hospitality and wants to use it at every corner because your relationships and reputation is half the job
for one you get returning clients and tends to be the best and most reliable source of income and you also usually will end up getting gifts from them too which is, sweet,
if they’re doing pretty well off during a year i’m almost certain that they offer discounts for their services for the poorer members of raven’s roost, mangus in particular has a “doggy discount” that if they own a dog and they let it work with him they get a good discount
both of them (+plus stephen) are probably ambidextrous to a degree as when working on repeat projects, you tend to get really tired and sore and continue working until that arm gives out and then switch to the other to be able to continue working
going with that, you get paid by commission or project usually and so hypothetically you could pick up as many as possible (or as many as the union will allow) and probably will do that a couple times and you could literally blow out your entire body but be set for the year in a couple weeks
going with the stress on the body, the physical labor definitely means that they have bad knees and probably a bad arm as well not to mention if there is a lot of heavy lifting you can get multiple hairpin fractures along your spine and legs causing intense pain that cannot be treated
also if they’re working with saws (which i’m pretty sure trav did say were in the pocket workshop) then i have no idea why mags reacted so badly to losing a finger because everyone i have ever worked with has or has almost cut off their finger once a week
also you get a very high tolerance for pain (which probably helps mags as being a sword for hirer) like i have literally sliced my entire forearm open and just wrapped it up and continued working
since raven’s roost has a carpentry district, that most likely means that they have a lumber sister town that provides all of the resources
and again, going with the importance of rustic hospitality, if you’re friends with the lumber providers then you will get first pick on the quality wood and quality literally will save you days of work
if there’s a bad harvest one year then it will fucking suck because people don’t stop needing furniture or buildings and you as the carpenter have to pick up the slack for the shitty warped wood and most projects will take about double the time
woodworking is a skill trade and has to be learned over years so most likely by the time mags came along julia was already extremely skilled and is able to do commissions and bids on her own and has her own reputation in ravens roost (which…tbh mags could have very well apprenticed under her)
it is extremely hard to go from apprenticing one carpenter to another because even the basics get muddled with your own style to the point where most people measure in different ways and cutting something wrong (especially cutting it short) will waste so much material thus mags being brand new to apprenticing under stephen probably takes years while jules just laughs each time he fucks up a leg of a chair
This recipe restores 165 energy and 74 health. It can be obtained from Caroline after reaching 7 hearts and sells for 120g.
Difficulty: Easy, 50 minutes. Serves 4.
In the cooking interface, this recipe is called “Vegetable Stew”. I decided to make a salad of sorts instead, mostly because I’m not entirely fond of stewed beets.
-3 medium beets -2 large tomatoes -½ bell pepper -¼ large onion -¼ cup olive oil -½ teaspoon pepper -1 teaspoon salt -½ teaspoon thyme -1 teaspoon rosemary -¼ cup crumbled feta cheese
Preheat the oven to 400°F. In a bowl, combine the olive oil, pepper, salt, and thyme.
Remove the root and stalks from the beets with a knife and then peel off the skin. Slice the beets to about ¼ inch thickness.
Toss the beets in the olive oil mixture and then arrange on a baking pan so none of them are overlapping. Bake for 20 minutes, then flip them and bake them for another 15 minutes.
Slice up the onion and place on a second baking pan. Drizzle with olive oil and season with a bit of salt and the rosemary. Bake for about 8-10 minutes, or til the onion has started to turn crispy.
Thinly slice the pepper and tomatoes. Arrange all the vegetables on a large plate and then top with the crumbled feta cheese. Serve while the beets are still fairly warm, but not hot.
The resulting salad has a really good mix of flavours and textures, and beets are surprisingly good (coming from someone who generally doesn’t like beets all that much). You can add a drizzle of balsamic vinegar if you so choose. I didn’t because I found it didn’t necessarily need it; it was excellent on its own.
☑ LOVES CHILDREN
☑ Light hearted
☑ Could listen to that voice for 50 years, easy
☑ We’ve all seen that face, come on
☑ Passionate about things
☑ Looks like an expert hugger
☑ Already got the embarrassing Dad moves down
Since this seems to be hip with the kids would you guys mind giving this a like / reblog if you’re down to write with a Levi Ackerman from Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin. Multiverse. Panfandom. All that good stuff! xx
Prompt: You’re sat on
your motorcycle in the middle of a traffic jam when Spencer is chasing an unsub
too far away and he asks you to help catch him
Fandom: Criminal Minds
As you sat in the long traffic jam, knowing you could go
past but not wanting to risk being hit by anyone opening their doors you just
“I’m gonna be late for wooorrrkkkk.” You singsong to
yourself as you take off your helmet to stop yourself sweating in the blazing
heat. As time goes by the line seems to not move whatsoever so you take out
your phone and start scrolling. As you’re idly scrolling down Facebook you hear
a sound like a gun shot and instantly duck out of instinct. You look up and
around for what made the noise and you see a man running away, blood flowing
from his arm. He jumps on the back of a bike which is accompanied by another
man, probably a get-away plan, and it speeds off. Another man, a handsome one,
runs out wearing an FBI vest runs out. He already looks slightly tired and the
bike is too far for him to run. Kicking the bike into gear you speed through
the stopped cars towards the agent and skid to a stop.
“Hop on.” You say smiling at him. He looks shocked at first
but then agrees. As he gets on the bike you give him your helmet as you only
carry one. He looks guilty for taking it at first but then agrees seeing how
far away the man is. As the bike lurches forward, the agent nearly falls off,
and, making a grab for your waist, he accidentally grabs your boobs making him
instantly retract his hand and you feel yourself start to blush.
“I’m sorry!” He yells through the helmet and over the sound
of cars going past us at 60 mph. You shake your head, laughing not only at his
awkwardness but also politeness to actually apologise. Not that you minded that much. As you weave through the
different cars, the force of the wind starts to get a bit annoying you, maybe also as revenge, you push into the
agent and lean further down and you already feeling his growing excitement at
Inside the helmet
Spencer blushes at this kickass, not to mention gorgeous, woman grinding down against
him trying tochase the unsub. ‘Well,’
Spencer thought to himself, ‘Women are better at multitasking than men.’ His
clouded mind proving his point as he hoped the chase could last awhile longer,
although he doesn’t want the unsub to get away.
When they get to end of the traffic jam, the unsubs bike
makes a break for the empty motorway as you turn your handles, instantly to
follow. As you speed through the now normal trafficked, street you notice a
black van catching up by the side of you. The window rolls down and you see
more FBI agents talking on the phone and one looking at the agent behind you.
“Spencer what the hell are you doing?” The blonde agent
yells almost scared. Spencer, cute name. Spencer
then takes his helmet off to talk to the agent easier.
“JJ! I almost got him, he’s bleeding.” He yells to the agent
then turns to you to whisper in your ear. “Can this thing go any faster?” His
whispering makes you shiver, which causes him to squeeze your waist slightly as
you yell in reply.
“Hold on agent.” You say kicking up the gear and speeding
off leaving the black rover behind you while all the agents look shocked at how
much control you have of the bike at your speed.
“Actually, it’s Doctor.” Spencer whispers once again making
you shiver as you bite your lip with anticipation and concentration. You reach
80 and continue to climb as you start to increasingly gain on the man and you
see that now you’re on the motorway there’s almost no cars. You notice a gap
and you quickly skid to the side of the motorway, confusing Spencer.
“Get off, quick.” You say grabbing your helmet. Spencer
looks at you with wide eyes.
“Trust me, Doctor.” You say kicking the stand-off after he’s
gotten off, to speed away and catching up to the man. You go faster than when
Spencer was on your back. Speeding at 110 through the motorway you start to
slow to 80 when in vicinity of the man. You hear someone yelling and you can
tell it’s Spencer, probably in the black rover.
“Be careful!” He yells so you can just hear him. As you’re
still chasing the man you hear crackling in your ear piece.
“Hello, my beautiful mystery girl I’m Penelope Garcia!” She
yells happily as you can hear her tapping on a computer. Tech analyst.
“Well Miss Penelope. I’m Y/N L/N. Can you tell me when’s the
closest, no traffic at all, spot?” You say normally knowing she can hear you
fine when you’ve got the helmet on.
“Y/N L/N? The retired CIA black ops agent?” You can hear the
confusion in her voice as she both gets up your profile and the route you’re
“I am black ops. Any idea?” You say meaning about the opening
in the traffic that she was just mentioning.
“3 minutes away with your speed, why?” She asks confused and
“I’m black ops. Thanks for your help Penny. You’re like my
lucky penny for this.” You say almost worried at doing this at this speed. It’s
easy at 50-60 mph but 80 is a different story.
“Well you’re welcome Wonder Woman.” She says trying to sound
happy but being terrified. She hangs up and you see the gap in the traffic you
see she was mentioning. As you just reach the opening you place yourself directly
behind the man before revving your engine making it reach 90+ and you jump off
to the side skidding and sliding along the road. You stand up, even though your
arm and leg has been scraped along the floor you stand up and start to run, you
see your bike collide with the guys and they’re both knocked off and the bikes
collide blowing up at the wall of the motorway. You grab one of the guys, the
bleeding one, the other one trying to run before being held at gun point as the
black rover pulls up. 5 agents pour out of the car all with guns drawn at the
guys. You take this as a cue to be able to sit down.
“FBI!” The blonde woman from earlier yelled. Spencer sees
you and runs up to you trying to see what’s wrong. He takes your jacket off and
sees bad road rash on your arm.
“So… Ex-Black Ops aye?” Spencer says trying to make a joke.
“So… Doctor FBI aye?” You say laughing copying him. “Y/N
L/N, nice to meet you.” You see smiling at him.
“Doctor Spencer Reid.” He says holding your jacket and
standing up. “C’mon Wonder Woman let’s get you to a hospital.” He says
“I’ve had worse.” You laugh through gritted teeth. The
adrenaline has worn off and it now stings, badly.
“So, have I.” Spencer laughs opening the car door. Okay his
laugh is cute as hell.
Creepypasta #1087: It Doesn't Matter How Many Times I Tell My Babysitting Story, Because No One Believes Me
Listen, I’ve told the
cops my story three times now. You can keep asking but I’ll keep saying the
same thing. I know what I saw. I’m not crazy.
They were advertising for a babysitter on Craigslist. The
post read “WANTED – BABYSITTER. ONE NIGHT ONLY. PARENTS NEED A DATE NIGHT
DESPERATELY! $50. MUST LIKE GAMES.”
Well, I needed cash and I like kids. I like games too. I
figured it would be easy money for just one night, so I responded. Back and
forth, the typical shit - “We’re so happy you answered”, “When do you want me
to come over?”, “Here’s our address”. All that stuff was pretty
straightforward. Nothing really jumped out at me.
I should’ve realized they never mentioned who I’d be
So I pull up to the house and it’s a real shithole. One of
those that’s in an okay neighborhood and probably looked fine a long time ago
but it got really gross and now their neighbors are pissed because in between their
all-right houses is a total dump but no one says anything about it. And they
had real weird decorations, too – next to the mailbox were these little
bird-things with stone eggs for bodies and old metal limbs sticking out. Pointy
rusted beak heads bobbing on weak springs. Real weird.
I knocked on the door because they didn’t have a doorbell.
Right away, it opened, like someone was waiting for me.
First off, the guy was old. Like way, way older than I’d
expected. I mean, the ad read like a couple with a baby who hadn’t been out in
forever and this guy couldn’t have been a day under 70. Kind of stooped over,
bald, skin sort of hanging off his face like it does with some old guys. His
nose was all red, burst capillaries, most likely from too many years in the
“You’re here,” he said, excited, waving me in with a
gnarled, liver-spotted hand. “Come in, come in!”
Robbie tries to impress Sportacus by doing pushups and situps and jumping-jacks. It’s a pathetic amount of each, but HE DID IT TO WOO HIM.
Thank you, love! All these heathens (you know who you are) keep making me make Sport or Rob cry.
Time for a fluff break!
Standing in the middle of the park, Robbie heard the telltale sounds of Sportacus flipping towards him and put his plan into action. He started waving his arms in the air and moving his feet together and apart in what he hoped looked like jumping jacks.
The blue flipping blur stopped in front of Robbie, hands on his hips.
“Robbie?” Sportacus looked downright shocked, “What are you doing?”
“Oh, hello, Sportadork,” Robbie said as casually as possible, “I’m just… just doing some…. moving things.”
He was already out of breath. Time to switch. He got down on the ground and started doing pushups.
“I can see that!” Sportacus said, “ Very good, Robbie! I’m so happy to see you exercising!”
“Well I’ve been… praaaacticing…!” Robbie had lowered himself to the ground well enough. Getting up was taking some effort. How did Sportacus make this look so easy?! “My record is… 50, no 100 pushups!” He was finally able to lift himself and he laughed in triumph before flopping back to earth with a grunt.
“Of course,” he went on, “I did those all this morning so I can’t do them now.”
“Of course.” Sportacus agreed. Robbie could hear laughter on the edge of his voice.
Robbie rolled onto his back and started doing crunches. Except he couldn’t get himself high enough. He settled for rocking back and forth, trying to reach his legs and ignore the embarrassment crawling up his face. He closed his eyes, pushing away thoughts like ‘He probably thinks I’m weak’ and ‘I looked like an idiot’.
“Are you… impressed yet?” Robbie gasped out. He really stretched, really tried to get his elbows to meet his knees, his feet coming off the ground.
For a moment, he thought Sportacus had walked away. Then someone’s hands were around his ankles and pulling his feet back down.
“You need to keep you feet on the ground, Robbie,” Sportacus said. Robbie could see the top of his hat, “Try it now. You can do it.”
With new found determination at those words, Robbie lifted himself up and was just able to touch his knees with his elbows. Sportacus was smiling.
“That’s good! Do it again!”
Robbie was able to do two more sit ups. Each time he was greeted with Sportacus’ proud grin. On the four try, Robbie could tell he wouldn’t make it. He strained his back and his arms, trying to come up far enough. That wasn’t fair. He just wanted to see that smile one more time.
Suddenly, Sportacus leaned forward over his knees, meeting Robbie half way, and kissed the tip of his nose.
“You did so well, Robbie,” Sportacus said gently. Robbie let out a gasp as he fell backwards, covering his blushing face with his hands and panting. He felt Sportacus let go of his ankles. Robbie looked up through his fingers and saw Sportacus sit beside him.
“Don’t lie,” Robbie said, his voice muffled by his hands, “I did a terrible job.”
“But you did it.”
Robbie really couldn’t argue with that soft smile. He lowered his hands, “So… were you impressed?”
Sportacus leaned down and kissed him again. This time on the lips. “Very.”