eastern bunny

2

Stories from Wonderland (headcanon/part of my fanfiction)

the 4 Guardians of Wonderland, mysterious beings who left the world long time ago - even after the great resurrection and Frabjous Day, the wonderlandians kept believing in them and honored each one of them with a special day. But everybody knows that a divinity can’t just disappear. What if the guardians were reborn, captured in someone elses body, waiting for the day to wake up and once again to rise above Wonderland…only time can tell! (more details, from last post’s story) the 4 Guardians of Wonderland, mysterious beings who left the world long time ago - even after the great resurrection and Frabjous Day, the wonderlandians kept believing in them and honored each one of them with a special day. But everybody knows that a divinity can’t just disappear. What if the guardians were reborn, captured in someone elses body, waiting for the day to wake up and once again to rise above Wonderland…only time can tell!

Long time ago, when the world has been made, four divine guardians rose to watch over it. One of them was a beautiful goddess with a kind heart, determined to protect the creatures of this world. Her light shone brightly from the east and fend off any evil, that could have harmed this world. Except for one day, when a great star fell down from heaven, which caused the death of many people. The light of the goddess shone upon them and gave them new life. From this day onwards the people of Wonderland celebrate eastern, to honor the goddess of resurrection, the guardian of the east.

3

Bestiary - Nug

A nug is a hairless, nearly blind creature that resembles a small pig.  These harmless, docile omnivores populate the underground tunnels of the dwarves, and are known to eat almost anything they find on the cavern floors, including insects, worms, and when the pickings are lean, limestone and simple metals. Their large snouts are excellent for digging in the shallow pools and mud pits they frequent, this practice led to the dwarven nickname of “mud splashers”. Nugs can also be found in Orzammar proper, on the tables of the poorer slum areas or even as a domesticated pet. 

I was sure before the Blight they were a whole lot more rare. Should ask a Warden about that, if killing Archdemons leaves nugs all over. And the poor things don’t seem built for anywhere. I mean, they feed on anything, but they blister in the desert and freeze in the snow, and they’re easier to track than your own arse. Everything eats them (except me, the hands put me off), yet they thrive. Randy bastards outpace every tooth and claw.

Anyway, my point is, the ones around the farm are so inbred, they’re five colors and can’t stop peeing. I’m selling them in the capital as “elusive eastern bunny-pigs.” What did Father say about idiots with deep pockets?

—Excerpt from the private letters of “Captain” Byrne, lap-nug dealer, produced in evidence after seven claims of Water Terrors and death following bites in the Garden District, 9:36

  • Me: Good morning, this is Evan.
  • Caller: I have a question for you.
  • Me: All right, I might have an answer! Keep in mind I'm not an attorney, so my answer may be limited.
  • Her: My son fell off the lap of the Eastern bunny at the mall this weekend and is having trouble sleeping. Can I sue the Easter bunny?
  • Me: ...what?
  • Her: Can I sue the Easter bunny?
  • Me: Ma'am that's just an actor. You may be able to sue the mall ---
  • Her: I want to sue him, the bunny.
  • Me: Let me put you on hold for an attorney.
  • Me, to attorney: Could you take this? She wants to sue the Easter bunny.