earth shattering kaboom

I have said it before, and I will say it again. The Chantry NEEDS to fall. It really has to. Like, Andrastrianism, the faith and belief in the Maker itself, I could take or leave, but the Chantry itself, as an institution, NEEDS to be dismantled, have its power dulled and worn away. And that really seems like what should have been the core question of Inquisition.

I mean, just think about it - Corypheus, Leliana, and Cassandra, three of the major figures of the game are all in a crisis of faith in the wake of events. Corypheus believes that the world NEEDS a god to rule and control things. Leliana lost a friend and mentor, and it was to a threat she feels she should have seen coming. Cassandra believed in the Seekers and now finds that they lied to her, lost sight of what they were seeking.

One of the core themes of the game should have been about faith, how people will twist it to allow them to believe and act as they desire, rather than to be true to the ideals that faith calls for. And it’s so disappointing, because I truly believe that if these characters DID ask those questions, they would recognize that while the faith and belief in the Maker may, as Josephine says, bind the disparate nations of Thedas together, the Chantry, existing as it does as a de facto ‘power behind the throne’ of the major nations of Thedas, has reached a point where its actions are toxic and destructive to the foundations of society.

In short, I’m about to rework the entire game into what I think it SHOULD have been.

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When I was a kid, I remember many days the episode of Bugs Bunny trapped in Mars was replayed a lot.

It was awesome.

In my phone I’ve got Katy Perry's Firework and for some reason everytime i play it, after it there are Marvin’s famous words: Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom! (I downloaded them to have them as my ringtone. So it’s like this:

Boom, boom, boom

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Then Marvin waits for the kaboom, but:

i mean, with a song like this, it’s hilarious!

My (well, my brother’s now until I pay him back) Desert Eagle is one of my all-time favorite guns. Not because it’s practical in any way, shape, or form. But entirely because it’s not.

It is completely unforgiving of limp-wristing, and it defines “limp-wristing” as “failing to keep the launching Apollo rocket properly aligned with your bare hands.” Its muzzle says “Excuse me while I kiss the sky” but it clearly does not care whether you excuse it or not. (Do not). It is too big to conceal without a coat of some kind. Even people sick of the “compensating for something” gag will assume you’re member of Smol Meat Squad when they see you with one. Rapid reloads? Sorry, the slide release is halfway down the barrel, in the next state. This is entirely a two-handed operation. At least.

And all that comes with an earth-shattering kaboom, a thermonuclear muzzle flash visible at high noon on a sunny day, and something, possibly even a steel target, effectively ceasing to exist downrange. It is explosion magic, and you can only afford to use it once a day.

It’s just that awesome.