earth shattering kaboom

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When I was a kid, I remember many days the episode of Bugs Bunny trapped in Mars was replayed a lot.

It was awesome.

An Fiery Icy Passion part 2

“Who are you?” Asked the Flash.

“What are you doing here?” Asked Vibe.

“My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N and I’ve come for your help.” You reply to them. No sense in beating around the bush.

“Our help. You’re a meta?” Asked Vibe.

“Yes, I woke up to my bed being half frozen and half engulfed in fire.” You replied.

“Come with us.” The Flash said, as he put an arm around you and walked you down to the cortex.

“Caitlyn!” Called Vibe, “We have a new friend that could use your help.” Said Vibe as he emphasized the words “new friend.”

A brown haired young lady came out from a room off the side of the cortex full of medical equipment. She looked you up and down, giving you a preliminary scan to see of anything was outwardly off about your appearance.

“How may I help?” Asked the young lady.

“Caitlyn, this young woman-” started The Flash.

“Y/N” you said.

“Y/N, needs us to help her, she’s a meta human. She woke up to a bed half frozen and half engulfed in flames.” He explained.

“Tell us more about your situation.” Requested Vibe.

“A couple years ago, I was at home the day the particle accelerator was switched on. I was writing my book and getting pretty passionate, but since I was getting too warm I opened a window, and made an icy. Then as I was continuing I heard the ‘earth shattering kaboom’ you might say-”

“Nice! Marvin the Martian reference!” Laughed Vibe, making you smile and giggle.

“Vibe!” Chastised The Flash.

“Anyway, I heard the boom, my stuff started shifting around, my slushy spilled all over my right hand, and my stuff and I started to float, then I was slammed against my wall, and knocked unconscious… I woke up the next day, I felt completely normal, that was, until last week. My body wouldn’t regulate a temperature, and then yesterday I went to the doctor they said I was fine except for my temperature fluctuations. Last night I went to sleep and then yeah… woke up to a half burning, half frozen bed….” You finished.

“Wow…” said The Flash and Vibe.

“Okay.” Said Caitlyn, smiling. “Let’s run some tests!” She said as she reached out for you and directed you up into the med lab.

***A few hours later***

“Y/N, it looks like the night that the particle accelerator exploded the black matter bonded the right side of your body’s DNA to the ice inside icy drink. And your passion since it originates on the right side of your brain which operates the left side of your body, manifests into a bright blue flame, which is exacerbated by black matter from the explosion.” Reported Caitlyn. “I’m sure that, with The Flash and Vibes help you will learn how to use and harness your powers.” She said.

“Wow… wow… wow…” You said, in shock. “I-I could be a superhero!” You said brightening up. “As soon as I’m trained up, I could help protect the city!”

“Woah there, gurl! Slow down, we’ll get you there, but first, Flash, we really should introduce ourselves… Now Y/N, this is very secret, this stays here in S.T.A.R. labs.” Said Vibe.

“Yeah, this absolutely stays between us, and what we have dubbed team flash. Ready?” The Flash said looking at Vibe, they nodded and Vibe pulled off his goggles to reveal the deepest brown eyes you have ever seen, and The flash pulled off his cowl to reveal his entire face and hair.

“I’m Cisco Ramon and this is Barry Allen.” Said Cisco as he introduced, he and Barry.

Your eyes grew wide with recognition. “You mean the Cisco Ramon and Barry Allen? The Cisco Ramon, who created the shields CCPD used to be protected from Captain Cold, and made the Meta Human boot that CCPD uses to stop metas? The Barry Allen who is CCPDs top CSI?! Wow!” You said in awe.

Cisco was looking at you happily shocked that you knew who he was with out being Vibe. He was happy his reputation was for something so cool. He was seeing you for the first time, he looked you over from the top of your head to your boot clad feet.

“I figured we should know who each other are since we’ll be working together.” Cisco said, his cheeks staining pink as you smiled at him.

“When are we going to start training?” You ask.

“As soon as possible I would think, right Barry?” Asked Cisco.

“Yeah, but we need to figure out what triggers your powers.” Said Berry.

“Couldn’t we figure that out while we train her? Just put her in different scenarios until it triggers?” Asked Cisco.

“We could, but that could be dangerous… but it could be worth it.” Said Barry.

“Let’s do this!” You exclaim, rubbing your hands together.

“Hold on, Chica. We gotta go to our training grounds first.” Cisco said gently pushing your hands down. You couldn’t help, but notice the small spark you felt as he gently pushed your hands down.

“O,okay, lead the way fearless leader.” You say winking at Cisco.

“S-Sure” he stammered as he opened a breach, and pulled you through with him, as Barry zoomed off to meet you at the training grounds.

I have said it before, and I will say it again. The Chantry NEEDS to fall. It really has to. Like, Andrastrianism, the faith and belief in the Maker itself, I could take or leave, but the Chantry itself, as an institution, NEEDS to be dismantled, have its power dulled and worn away. And that really seems like what should have been the core question of Inquisition.

I mean, just think about it - Corypheus, Leliana, and Cassandra, three of the major figures of the game are all in a crisis of faith in the wake of events. Corypheus believes that the world NEEDS a god to rule and control things. Leliana lost a friend and mentor, and it was to a threat she feels she should have seen coming. Cassandra believed in the Seekers and now finds that they lied to her, lost sight of what they were seeking.

One of the core themes of the game should have been about faith, how people will twist it to allow them to believe and act as they desire, rather than to be true to the ideals that faith calls for. And it’s so disappointing, because I truly believe that if these characters DID ask those questions, they would recognize that while the faith and belief in the Maker may, as Josephine says, bind the disparate nations of Thedas together, the Chantry, existing as it does as a de facto ‘power behind the throne’ of the major nations of Thedas, has reached a point where its actions are toxic and destructive to the foundations of society.

In short, I’m about to rework the entire game into what I think it SHOULD have been.

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In my phone I’ve got Katy Perry's Firework and for some reason everytime i play it, after it there are Marvin’s famous words: Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom! (I downloaded them to have them as my ringtone. So it’s like this:

Boom, boom, boom

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Then Marvin waits for the kaboom, but:

i mean, with a song like this, it’s hilarious!

My (well, my brother’s now until I pay him back) Desert Eagle is one of my all-time favorite guns. Not because it’s practical in any way, shape, or form. But entirely because it’s not.

It is completely unforgiving of limp-wristing, and it defines “limp-wristing” as “failing to keep the launching Apollo rocket properly aligned with your bare hands.” Its muzzle says “Excuse me while I kiss the sky” but it clearly does not care whether you excuse it or not. (Do not). It is too big to conceal without a coat of some kind. Even people sick of the “compensating for something” gag will assume you’re member of Smol Meat Squad when they see you with one. Rapid reloads? Sorry, the slide release is halfway down the barrel, in the next state. This is entirely a two-handed operation. At least.

And all that comes with an earth-shattering kaboom, a thermonuclear muzzle flash visible at high noon on a sunny day, and something, possibly even a steel target, effectively ceasing to exist downrange. It is explosion magic, and you can only afford to use it once a day.

It’s just that awesome.