You guys know how much I love BatCat and how I love this panel. Finally, we see our ship as a happily married couple, enjoying a sensual and healthy sex life, finding a safe haven in each other’s arms.
But let me pick this panel apart just for one second because, all sexiness and fulfilled shipper hopes aside, I still have some questions.
1. The Batman cowl is a nice detail. They’re either into role-play (as expected) or went straight from the cave up to their room (probably kissing and undressing in the process). Knowing that Bruce has no problem with walking around the mansion in costume later (he enters Helena’s room still wearing the uniform), it could be either… But I wanna know which one! ;-)
2. Why is Selina still wearing a top?! Wouldn’t she tear it off in the throes of passion? Or have Bruce rip it open?
3. What the flippity flop did they do?! What was their last position when they’ve ended up lying like this?!
4. Just how large is that bed that they both can lie like this?
ARE YOU THE TYPE WHO LIKES DIVERSE CHARACTERS IN COMICS?
BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE IT
IF YOU DO YOU SHOULD READ MOTHERFUCKING Earth 2
So why should you read Earth 2?
I’M GLAD YOU ASKED
Alright, so the first thing we learn is that in this alternate universe, this evil dude named Darkseid (Might have heard of him. You know, the biggest evil asshole in the DC universe) invades the goddamn Earth with space demons and shit and like half of everyone died.
“But wait!” says you, the convenient representation of the readers, “This is a comic book! Where’s the superheroes?” WOO BOY HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS
Technically,they’re called Wonders in this place. Why? Cause motherfucking Wonder Woman showed up first and she gets to pick the names, dammit. So what does the classic dream team of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman go and fuck shit up, but these demon assholes keep coming back like the world’s worst fucking boomerang. So what do our fair heroes do?
THEY BLOW SHIT UP, THAT’S WHAT.
Yeah, that’s right, the Super-Trinity blows the fuck up saving the earth and kicking ass, because that’s how you go out.
So this leaves the space demons stranded, the Wonders of the World dead, and their sidekicks- Supergirl/Power Girl, aka Kara Zor-El, and Robin/Huntress aka HELENA FUCKING WAYNE get sent to the main earth and work their way back to kick ass.
So years later when shit starts to get real again, who comes back? The motherfucking Wonders, bitches.
So, these guys are based on the superheroes from the 40s except cooler, right? These motherfuckers are OGs. So who do we have?
EXAMPLE ONE!JAY MOTHERFUCKING GARRICK, also known as THE FLASH, BITCHES
So Jay Garrick is a recent college student who hasn’t got shit to do. Sounds like a lot of us, right? But then he gets fucking super speed from none other than MERCURY, THE ROMAN GOD. Because what the hell is cooler than literal godspeed?
“But Tyler!” you say once more, “didn’t you say there was diversity? This is basically the same as most superheroes!”
WELL LET ME SHOW YOU THE GUYS AND GALS HE HANGS OUT WITH
EXAMPLE TWO, ALAN SCOTT: THE ORIGINAL GREEN LANTERN
So you remember that one movie a few years ago with Hal Jordan that did shit at the box office? Or the Justice League cartoon with John Stewart who was badass? Yeah, those two are cool, but this is ALAN MOTHERFUCKING SCOTT.
So, Scott’s a lot like ‘ole Bruce Wayne. He’s rich and owns a TV station and shit, lives the good life. He’s also fucking adorable with his boyfriend:
LOOK AT THESE TWO ADORABLE LIL SHITS. ALAN’S POWER RING IS EVEN THEIR ENGAGEMENT RING AND ITS GREAT EXCEPT NOT BECAUSE PLOT EVENTS.
So yeah, we’ve got your stereotypical white guy and gay guy, pretty cool. But just you fuckin’ wait, it gets cooler the farther you go.
ON TO KENDRA MUNOZ-SAUNDERS, THE LATINA FUCKING HAWKGIRL
YEP, THAT’ RIGHT. Kendra motherfucking Munoz-Saunders is the Latina Hawkgirl with honest-to-god wings and guns akimbo, bitches. She’s also cool as a fuckin’ cucumber and takes absolutely no shit. Two avatars of nature duking it out? Like she gives a fuck.
That’s not even the half of it. Next we have a personal favorite, KHALID BEN-HASSIN, DOCTOR FATE.
LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE DORK. Khalid Ben-Hassin is an Arabic archaeologist who together with Kendra found the HELM OF KICKASS, OR NABU IF YOU WANT TO BE SERIOUS. Khalid puts that baby on and gets magic powers out the ass, man. Reality? FUCK THAT NOISE.
Not only is Khalid an awesome representation of an Arabic superhero who doubles as my smol son, he’s technically mentally ill: after using the Helm, he has short bouts of insanity, trying to process the SHEER AMAZING OF FATE
MOVING RIGHT ALONG, WE’VE GOT POWERGIRL AND HUNTRESS, KARA ZOR-EL AND HELENA WAYNE, ALSO KNOWN AS THE BADDEST BITCHES AROUND
These two get sent over to regular earth when they and their families fuckin’ wreck Darkseid and his demon shits. So what do they do? They motherfucking get right back, because they’ve got shit to do. Kara isn’t the only supergod around either, because we’ve got…
VAL-ZOD, THE BLACK SUPERMAN
VAL-ZOD IS THE COOLEST MOTHERFUCKER AROUND, WHICH IS HIS HOBBY WHEN HE ISN’T EITHER BEING BETTER THAN KAL-EL OR BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF KAL-EL.
Val was also besties with Kara on Krypton, and they KICK ASS TOGETHER.
AND THAT ISN’T EVEN THE HALF OF IT. We’ve got ROBO-LOIS LANE AS RED FUCKING TORNADO, the black-ops team of the World Army, the SANDMEN lead by the SANDMAN HIMSELF. You’ve got SONIA SATO, WHO WILL KICK YOUR ASS BACKWARDS, MOTHERFUCKING AQUAWOMAN, and resident Commander-in-Badass COMMANDER AMAR KHAN, or THE ONLY SANE SON OF A BITCH IN THE ENTIRE WORLD ARMY.
they are really married? even on this today versions? (sorry 'bout my english, i am brazilian🙈)
Yes, technically but actually no.
Let me explain. Comics have a tendency to get really
confusing and nothing confuses the chuck out of people, particularly those who
don’t necessarily keep up with comics, then when the multiverse gets thrown
into the mix. So the multiverse is essentially an alternate universe, or
parallel earth, where the characters exist as themselves but a little bit
different. For example on Earth-2 the Justice Society of America exists in lieu
of the Justice League. The multiverse has existed for decades but it was wiped
out of continuity during Crisis on
Infinite Earths, the even which became known as “The Crisis” and the
namesake for Pre-Crisis era.
On the main parallel earth, Earth-2, yes Batman is married to
Catwoman and they have a daughter, Helena Wayne and Superman and Lois Lane are
married and raising Superman’s cousin, Kara Zor El, as their own. Batman and
Superman essentially retired from crime fighting and raised families and passed
their mantles to their children. Clark and Lois even attended Bruce and Selina’s
wedding. This happened decades ago but was ret-conned during the Crisis and
Earth-2 was put out of continuity during the Pre-Flashpoint years.
Superman Family #211
However, it was brought back during the 2011 reboot (New 52).
Batman and Catwoman both die, and Lois and Clark apparently die, as a result of
an invasion from Apokolips. Helena and Kara, who were acting as Robin and
Huntress at the time, get transported to Prime Earth (Earth 1, where the main
continuity occurs) and become Huntress and Power Girl, before eventually going
back to Earth 2.
It is revealed in the Earth-2
series that when Lois died her brain or soul or something was put into a
robot and she becomes Red Tornado. It is also revealed during the Earth-2 World’s End series that Clark
didn’t actually die, but he was being used by Apokolips to create their demon
soldiers or something like that. Clark dies shortly after he is reunited with
Lois and Kara. It was actually pretty touching.
Earth-2 World’s End #15
So while technically yes Batman and Catwoman and Superman
and Lois Lane were married in the Pre-Crisis era and currently married in today’s
continuity, this is their Earth -2 counterparts and that’s who I was referring
to in my post. Prime Earth Batman and Catwoman are not and have never married.
But there’s good news. Superman and Lois Lane were married for fifteen years in
the primary continuity during the Pre-Flashpoint era. During the Convergence
event in 2015 and the later series Superman:
Lois and Clark pre-flashpoint Lois and Clark were brought to Prime Earth to
replace the rebooted (New 52) version of Superman. So in the main continuity
Superman and Lois are currently married and they have an adorable son named
And none of that made any sense and was super confusing
because comics don’t make any sense and are super confusing. I hope I explained
it well enough but if you need me to clarify just shoot me a message. If you’re
interested in reading about Earth-2 Batman and Catwoman check out the reading
list below. Some of it is super adorable.
Favorites moments at Bruce,Selina and Helena as a Family
Worlds’ Finest #0
We just did not get enough of the Wayne family in New 52, but here’s a precious moment of Bruce and Selina having a brief marital squabble over their parenting styles. Poor Bruce. I just imagine him being constantly ganged up on by two tall, strong willed ladies and never being able to get a word in.
Secret Origins #7 “Huntress”
That time Bruce and Selina left in the middle of their child’s bedtime story to go get busy.
Worlds’ Finest Annual #1
Ah yes, father-daughter talks
Worlds’ Finest #30
Catwoman being a total mom and forgetting to use Robin’s alias while fighting crime. There’s another great moment when Catwoman and Robin fall into a trap and Batman is none too pleased that someone is threatening his family.