earn-points

me, pouring myself apple juice: people who claim there is equality in the RPC are liars and refuse to acknowledge that poc muses get ghosted over in favor of white muses especially those that are male. there isn’t equality in the rpc because if your muse is poc, trans, female, or god forbid all of the above, you will be looked over and ignored in favor of ryan ryansen white all around fantastic guy. the people claiming there is equality in the rpc feel this way because they’re satisfied because they see white muses constantly and the occasional poc muse which makes them happier bc they can say they saw a poc muse && that’s all they need apparently. the racism in the rpc goes deeper than what muses people will and will not rp w and in fact even extends to ooc interactions where people either don’t listen to poc muns about racism or white people talk over poc muns to earn woke brownie points

Soul Purpose of Sun Signs 

Sun in Aries: To radiate the Divine Light and activate the Divine Mind as a reservoir of fresh ideas emanating straight from the pure Source. As consciousness streams from heaven to earth, God’s will is put into action 

“An incarnation taken with the Sun in Aries is to serve as a fertile field of fire, clearing and cleaning the mind.” - Alan Oken

Sun in Taurus: To manifest the pure, exquisite beauty of the soul into the material realm. Soul level beauty makes an appearance every day, as attachment is lost and light is sourced internally and externally. Taurus is a force of attraction to the ideas that give beauty substance.

“An incarnation taken with the Sun in Taurus has a great deal to do with the right use of magnetism. Taurus can add its tremendous magnetic qualities to attract the correct form around any inspirational idea.” - Alan Oken

Sun in Gemini: Infusing chaotic worlds of opposition into harmonic unity, to blend yin yang, masculine and feminine, light and shadow, soul and body. Fluid mutability re-arranges and relates all things so duality is resolves and evolution is generated. The sacred messenger is activated when spirit and personality integrate 

“To be an agent for Venus on the subjective level of life and use the power of Mercury objectively. In this way, the Sun in Gemini serves as a vehicle for communicating the Law of Right Human Relationships: Peace on Earth and Goodwill to (Wo)Men.” - Alan Oken

Sun in Cancer: To provide nourishment, armour, and protection materially and immaterially to all of Creation, as an all-encompassing substance much like the amniotic fluids. Offering nurturing from the Goddess to all forms. Stimulation of soul light 

“To create foundations: a foundation for future incarnations based on the intelligent blending of Will and Love, and the anchoring of a foundation of inner and outer resources to bring the nurturing Love of the Soul to others.” - Alan Oken

Sun in Leo: To radiate the marvellous will and artistry of God and the Master Plan through daily life. To display and be the architect of Divine Love and act as an extension of infinite cosmic creativity 

“To create opportunities for the expression of consciousness, both individually and collectively. The latter is achieved through Leo´s creative processes” - Alan Oken

Sun in Virgo: Activation of healing, universal service, and refining the lower self and mind. To utilise tremendous discrimination to bring about good will and assistance to the world, to work on behalf of the Soul of the World for the evolution of the Virgo Soul

“To provide the necessary forms through which consciousness (Love) may do the work of the Healer and bring a greater sense of wholeness into manifestation.” - Alan Oken

Sun in Libra: The soul takes a breath here. It ascends from the lower to the higher self and perceives opposition and duality in clear form. To stand in the middle and navigate polarities, to unify and create equality with seamless synthesis

“To hold opposing forces in check so that greater awareness of both the Soul and the personality may be achieved equally by all.” - Alan Oken

Sun in Scorpio: The Dweller of the Threshold awakens in Scorpio. Ultimate desire is the fire under the Soul as the higher self battles with the lower self for Divine purity. These battles facilitate sacred states of transformation which generate deeper and deeper love from the Soul

“To be a catalyst for the transformation of others, and by so doing, to transform the ego; an opportunity for Grace.” - Alan Oken

Sun in Sagittarius: The contrasting desires of the lower and higher self become integrated and focused toward the spiritual mission of the Soul itself. The guru awakens as the higher mind is cultivated with the Laws of Spiritual Nature when fastidious logic unifies with God’s vision 

“Sagittarius must use its well earned one-pointed focus to orient the life to some lofty objective, one which allows him or her to be a teacher of the ways of the Path.” - Alan Oken

Sun in Capricorn: To express the Master Plan and blueprint of God’s Mind into daily life on behalf of the collective. To undertake tremendous internal challenges so the soul’s true purpose is recognised and realised in reality. 

“Initiation. Capricorn represents that stage in spiritual growth in which all the efforts at spiritual growth culminate in advanced spiritual awareness.” - Alan Oken

Sun in Aquarius: To activate the light of Leo into the Soul of humanity, to be the reservoir that nourishes collective consciousness so evolution is possible for all beings. To awaken intuition with emotional and cerebral intelligence

“To create those human links and contacts that allow the Love/ Wisdom of the solar system to be expressed very specifically through the human mind.” - Alan Oken

Sun in Pisces: All dualities are resolved into a watery crystal and reflect only blinding Soul light. Liquid leaks all division, so material and immaterial unify and the identity is sacrificed to something higher. Acting on behalf of Soul purpose 

“To undergo and teach those tests of increased spiritual awareness that create an identification with the whole of human experience.” - Alan Oken

-C.

Peanut Butter Cookies

*throws allergic!Lance at you and runs away*

Summary: When Pidge’s birthday rolls around, Allura remembers her offhand comment about liking peanut butter. Little did she know that Lance is actually very, very allergic. (angst and fluff, and a bit of established klance because I have no self control and I ship it leave me alone)

I hardly ever post anything because I have no confidence ha so if you like it, let me know! This is very short compared to lots of other stuff I’ve written.

@taylor-tut I don’t think this is that good or even if it counts as langst/whump but I’ll tag you anyway and @voltronpaella thanks for actually getting me to post this my dude


When Allura called the Paladins into the kitchen, Lance expected some sort of emergency.

Why they’d be meeting in the kitchen, he had no idea, but he slid out of bed regardless. After removing his face mask he padded out into the hall, slightly resentful that he didn’t have time to straighten his hair.

Lance nearly bumped into Hunk in the hallway, who was also still in pajamas. The two were the last to arrive in the kitchen. He surveyed the others and found Shiro in full armor, Keith with an activated bayard, and Pidge rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with a laptop tucked under her arm.

“Princess, we’ve talked about this,” Lance grumbled. “You have got to stop interrupting my beauty sleep.”

Keep reading

i think its funny how the splatfests in splatoon 2 have turned out

marina is so popular that her team can’t actually fight the enemy team, so most of the day her team is just pointlessly fighting among themselves earning no points at all

if you join marina’s team, chances are you’ll never see a member of pearl’s team and you’ll never get the chance to earn any points for marina

if you join peal’s team, you’re ALWAYS going to fight marina’s team, so every round you win is a win for pearl

the massive popularity skew in marina’s favor means that the majority of marina’s team isn’t actually earning any points for her. they’re just wasting time fighting among themselves. 

clearly the solution here is to delete pearl and replace her with a second marina so that the matches can be fair.

mr-starkasm  asked:

1- About Tony being the Villians' Favorite: CW happened and they get access to footage of the Siberia fight and they realize that cap could have killed Tony and they're like "how dare you???? Who do you think you are???" and at this point it's not even about who is going to kill Iron Man anymore, it's because Tony is the only one able the keep up with them, he gives them a good challenge, he has the best sarcastic answers for all the villian monologue, they don't even want to harm people anymore

2- they want to fight Tony to see who has the best weapons, who is smarter (it’s always Tony) so the rogues come back and they realize something: the bad guys barely attack Tony, they go out of their way to avoid attacking Tony and antagonize team cap and when confronted with this they say “well someone has to defend Mr Stark since all his supposed friends wouldn’t hesitate on turning their backs on him for some spoiled hydra agent who doesn’t know how to control their anger but sure knows how

3- how to control their anger but sure knows how to fuck up people’s mind” (and they keep getting her name wrong, they call her wilma, wendy, marta omg i love this headcanon where no one gets her name right)


Why thank you for this brilliant headcanon, darling! (I love that mixing up Wanda’s name post too, wasn’t there one where Thor always got it wrong and played stupid? It’s brilliant)

I just really like that the villains enjoy fighting Iron Man because he’s as much of a drama queen as they are–he knows how to put on, and more importantly how to appreciate, a good show, you know? Fighting Iron Man is like playing a really challenging game of chess, where they take each other’s weapons and minions out without hesitation, but even when the king loses, he’s never actually taken off the board (yup that metaphor sucks, I apologise to every chess player out there). 

And well, of course it’s also about pride. Everything is about pride. The villains who most frequently engage with Iron Man in combat obviously keep a score. They keep an eye on who gets the most hits in, who deals the most damage, who does a strategical retreat and so on. They also keep track on which Avenger is the most likely to interrupt their fun, so they know whom to take out in the beginning of a fight.

Only then one of them gets their hands on footage of a certain Siberian bunker and this shit suddenly gets serious. Iron Man could’ve been taken out (worth 150 points) by someone who isn’t even recognises as an official player and THAT CAN NOT STAND. 

(It’s got nothing to do with the fact that maybe Tony Stark isn’t all that bad, you know, for a superhero. Nope. It’s all about the game and wanting those 150 points to themselves. Their professional pride is on the line here, okay. It’s not because of feelings. Feelings aren’t a part of the villain manual.)

So, they adapt. They’re villains, they’re used to it. Admittedly usually because the hero pulls some impossible stunt at the last second because they stubbornly refuse to die, but that’s neither here nor there.

First, they assign someone to keep track on Stark. It’s not a protective duty. It’s just…an insurance. To make sure no outside influence becomes a serious threat to their fun. Besides after all this time they’ve invested into fighting Iron Man, should he ever actually lose, they all agree they have earned this honour. Not some lucky upstart or fucking turncoat.

Second, certain forces need to be taken out. Officially it’s destroying the competition–a perfectly acceptable, villainous goal–, unofficially some people take their hatred for Iron Man a little too far. And when you already have to watch out for the supposed heroes, you can’t afford some crazy nutcase to pop up every time you turn your back on Stark.

Then the Rogue Avengers come back. The villains have dragged it out for as long as possible, an obscene amount of bribes have gone into ensuring the Congress isn’t too forgiving too quickly, but Stark is determined to get the Rogues pardoned for whatever reason, and that’s not a battle they can win in the long run.

And that’s a problem. The Rogues have access to Stark in ways they have not. Thankfully at least Stark doesn’t stay at the Avengers’ compound anymore. That gives them a small reprieve.

(They don’t worry. Villains do not worry. It’s not in their genetic code, nor their moral codex for that matter.)

There’s a very serious discussion about grazing the stupid compound into the ground, but in the end they decide not to do it. For one, the risk of the Rogues being granted access to the Stark Tower is just too great. For another, it’s convenient to have a return address they could graze into the ground, should the Rogues ever cross a certain line.

Next, the villains create a time table. Whereas the media used to joke about the ‘weekly villain attacks’ back in the day, there are now carefully scheduled weekly attacks for real. It helps them to vent some of their frustration, at the right target no less. It also has the added benefit of keeping the Rogues busy.

Of course Iron Man joins in on the fun more often than not, but he isn’t the main target like he used to be, isn’t singled out. If anything it’s the Rogues that are being singled out, and they always bear the brunt of the fight.

(They do not go easy on Iron Man. They do not. They have simply shifted the focus of their game. Damage dealt to the Rogues is now worth way more points than before, and since every villain wants to take the lead, it’s only rational they concentrate on the most worth-while targets. That’s all there is to it.)

The first time one of them makes Wanda Maximoff scream in rage is an accident. To their great shame it’s not even a real villain who accomplishes it, it’s a fairly new minion who interrupts the shouting match between his boss and the witch with an annoyed, “Oh, shut up, Wen–Vick–Wally, whoever the fuck you are, I’m trying to concentrate here!”

It becomes a running gag then, to never call the witch by her name, and the longer they keep the joke alive, the more frustrated the witch becomes.

(The minion gets a well-earned raise.)

Eventually the Rogues catch on. Eventually they begin to ask questions. Giving them more ridiculous answers every time becomes another running gag. Inevitably though Rogers eventually runs into Cross Bones who has a tendency of taking his fights with Captain America too personal.

“Well someone has to defend Mr Stark since all his supposed friends wouldn’t hesitate on turning their backs on him for some spoiled hydra agent who doesn’t know how to control their anger but sure knows how to fuck up people’s mind!” he snaps. Then uses the frozen state of the stunned Captain to his advantage to break the man’s nose with a very satisfying crack. Because, hello, villain.

(He then promptly dives to the side to push a crying kid out of the way a crumbling building. Not because he cares about who gets hurt of course. Villains don’t care about this stuff. But everyone knows Tony Stark cares about it.)

He gets twenty-five points for breaking Roger’s nose. He also gets a “I don’t know why, but if a guy like Cross Bones decides to save a kids’ life I’m not gonna sit around complaining about it.” and a thumbs up from Tony Stark in that night’s talk show. 

(He does not care more about the thumbs up than about the points. His fellow villains are not jealous.)

There are a lot of villains-saving-civilians-and-innocent-bystanders incidents after that.

(Not that anyone cares what Tony Stark thinks. The saving people thing simply earns them bonus points. Bonus points are important.)

anonymous asked:

Hey could you help me, I already have two jobs but I can barely make a living. Do you know any way I could earn some cash online or something? Thank you!!

Hey yeah there might be an easy way to do it actually, I have been using this website called Swagbucks for a while and it’s so easy.

You can sign up here by entering an email address and password and you can start earning points! Make sure to confirm your email else it won’t let you in! (Yes this happened to me so just putting that out there). 

From there on you can get paid for so many things, from answering questions to watching videos, downloading and playing games or even from searching the web with their extension for your browser! 

They pay in giftcards or Paypal cash and I loooove the Amazon giftcards tbh. Hope this helps you!

You can sign up here.

anonymous asked:

how would each member of BTS react to you talking dirty in spanish to them? Thank you, you're awesome!

thank you mi amor ily 

YALL IM busy wand i wanna have time to do all of yalls requests so i didn’t end up writing about every member im so sorry but please specify what members you want me to write about like pick 3 please otherwise it takes so long!! anyways hope i wrote about YOUR fave and enjoy;)

JUNG HOSEOK

Originally posted by hobies

His eyes were set on the TV, fully concentrated and laughing at the punchlines. You didn’t even like this show and was now officially bored. 

Hoseooook,” you whine and try pulling him by his arm. He let’s you, but doesn’t remove his eyes from the TV. “I need to get up early tomorrow, you can watch this later. Give me attention.” 

You pout but it doesn’t help because once again he’s not even looking at you. This makes you decide to climb onto his lap and he grunts uncomfortably when you accidentally hurt his elbow. 

“Please let me just finish the show,” he says a bit annoyed. 

You hand moves it’s way to the nape of his neck and scratches his scalp, making him shiver. You kneed softly on his tense shoulders and he sighs. Hoseok tries to ignore the way his body is reacting, but his mouth falls open in relaxation from having your hands on and around his neck, massaging and scratching. 

Mi amor,” you purr in his ear and you feel him tense underneath you.

“Don’t do this,” he finally looks into your eyes and you can tell there’s lust building up inside him. You smirk at his reaction.

Quiero sentarme en tu cara,” you whisper into his ear and this pushes him over the edge because he knows exactly what that means. It’s a well known phrase to his ears and now he’s really fucking turned on. He licks into your mouth and moans into it as you roll your hips on him again. 

Fuck you,” he whispers against your lips, annoyed that you won.

“Yes please!”

JEON JUNGKOOK

Originally posted by nnochu

His big hands are palming your ass and pressing you down on his hard-on. His legs are spread widely with you on top of him as your lips suck on his tongue. Your hands are playing with the locks of his hair and he moans when you bite his lip and roll your hips. He tilts his head and you follow, you two kissing intently letting your tongues meet. His hands slide under your tank top and caress your sides and warm stomach. 

Doing laundry can get pretty boring, so here you were in the local laundry machine place at 11 at night, getting hot and heavy on the couch while waiting for your laundry to finish. 

“Y/N, you can’t keep grinding on my dick like this, we can’t have sex here.” he protests between kisses. You just grind harder and he groans. “Seriously someone can walk in here,” he says breathlessly. 

Por favor,” you beg him and you can feel the hairs on his neck standing from you speaking like that to him.“Papi, por favor,” you pant and lick on his ear. A moan escapes his lips as you grind on his aching cock again. He grabs your wrist and pulls away from your kiss for the first time since you got to it. The look in his eyes is filled with desire and almost intimidating. 

“Call me that again,” he stutters, having a hard time breathing normally because he is so turned on. 

“Only if you fuck me - right here, right now,” 

MIN YOONGI 

Originally posted by yoonmin

You read the text again as you walked up the stairs. Yoongi had texted you that he needed your help with a song. One part of you was scared he’d ask you to sing which you really didn’t consider your strong side. On the other hand maybe he just needed a fresh couple of ears for a new perspective of the song. 

Yoongi is waiting for you in the opening of the door when you get to the studio hallways. It’s a secluded and soundproof room with a small window, about as big as a closet. He’s smiling but you can see in his eyes that he’s tired. He kisses you lightly and says hi. You notices he smells good. He sits down on the office-chair and motions for you to sit on his lap. You do and he rests his head on your shoulder and starts clicking around on his two computer screens with like a thousand tabs open. 

“Listen to this,” he says and presses play. There’s a chorus that sounds familiar to your ears as he’s been working on this for a while and you wait for the third verse which usually is his, but it’s instrumental. “I was thinking of putting in a verse in Spanish here, or at least a phrase.” 

You Ooh loudly to the idea and he smiles. “That would be sexy wouldn’t it! Anyways I need you and your Spanish speaking tongue.” he says and takes out his notes. 

“Yeah I can translate for you, but what do you want to say? What is the song about?” you ask. 

He pulls up the lyrics for you and you read trough them quickly. He presses record to be able to listen back at what you’re saying so he can  practice pronunciation. You nod. “I want the verse to be about lusting for someone.” he explains and you think of what to say. 

“You could say, me duele el corazon no tenerte aqui, nadamas quiero besarte.” 

You can see Yoongi’s face reflect in the screen of the computer and the way he bites his lip. 

“You’re so sexy when you speak Spanish.” he laughs. “What does that mean?” 

“It means my heart hurts not to have you here, I just want to kiss you.

He writes it down and you continue.

Ya no puedo seguir asi, tengo que saber como te sabes.

You can tell it’s affecting him when you speak to him in Spanish since he’s breathing heavily now. 

“What does that mean,” he pants against your neck and plants a light kiss. 

“I can’t go on like this, I need to know what you taste like.” 

Yoongi mutters a fuck and kisses your neck again and his arms around your waist tighten. Feeling his lips on your neck felt so good, and so did being in control like this. 

Quiero que me cogas ensima de la mesa,” you say as you grind on his crotch which makes a moan escape his lips. “Duro.” 

“W-What does that mean,” he choked on his own words cause you’re grinding on his hardening dick by now. 

“I want you to fuck me on this table,” you say and smile as you feel his dick twitching underneath you. “Hard.” 

“How do you say ‘go lock the fucking door’ in Spanish?”

KIM NAMJOON 

Originally posted by yoonseok

Namjoon is the type to love getting called daddy, papi or just have you scream or moan his name. If he would be intensely hitting it from the back and you’d moan in Spanish that would probably drive him crazy. I feel like he’s the type to ask you to talk dirty to him like that. First time you ever did, you didn’t even think about it. He was sucking on your nipples and circling his fingers around your clit, teasing you all spread out on the bed. You felt so good but wanted more, and it just slipped out in Spanish. 

Por favor damelo,” 

You immediately laughed at the fact that you just spoke a language this man didn’t know and you thought he probably got very confused. Interrupting your thought, he shoved two fingers inside you, making you choke on your own laughter with a deep moan. 

“I don’t know what you just said but it makes me want to fuck you so badly baby,” he whispered and licked around your clit. So he likes it, you think. Your eyes roll back and your toes curl up as he starts going faster pumping his fingers inside you.

Ay papi,” Namjoon growls against your pussy. “-tocame alli,” you moan and so does he, humming against your clit. His cock aches from the way the words roll off your tongue. 

KIM TAEHYUNG 

Originally posted by jiminarmy

“You should teach me Spanish!” Taehyung says as he slumps down besides you on the bed and gets comfy. You look at him and wonder where this idea came from.

“Why?”

“So that I can talk to your family properly, earn some good boyfriend-points.” he says. “And tell you how sexy you look, - in Spanish.” Tae wiggles his eyebrows. You slap his chest lightly as you laugh.

“But how would you know if I lie? You know, tell you this is how you say ‘have a nice day’ but in reality it’s ‘I want to fuck you’.” you give him a challenging look and he smiles, showing his teeth.

Noooo, my baby doesn’t know naughty words like that.” He cups your innocent looking face and laughs in a square shaped smile. You roll your eyes and shove his hands away from your face. 

Quiero cogerte,” you say slowly, looking into his eyes and blushing at the fact that you’re saying I want to fuck you out loud. You cringe at yourself but at the same time feel a little turned on. 

Taehyung squints at you, “You could be saying anything in Spanish and it would sound sexy. You could’ve just said I love cucumber.” 

You laugh and shake your head, already blushing and praying to God for forgiveness for what you’re about to say. 

Quiero chuparte hasta que vengas en mi boca.” 

Taehyung doesn’t laugh or squint because your voice is dripping of lust. He can tell from your voice dropping an octave and the look in your eyes that what you just said was filthy. 

“What does it mean?” he said out of breath, his Adams apple bobbing. 

You lean forward to kiss him and he hungrily responds with opening his wet mouth. Slowly you trail your hand towards his crotch, making your way inside his pants and boxer briefs. He whines when you squeeze his dick and you feel it growing in your hand. His hands grab on your waist and caress the warm skin and Taehyung feels like his insides are twisting. You bite his lip and palm his growing erection. To access his neck for leaving possessive marks you pull his hair harshly and start to lick down his jaw, making him hiss.

He pants your name and asks once again what it meant.

“Let me show you instead,” you say and sink to your knees between his legs, spreading them wide with your palms on the inner side of his thighs.  

chill666trash  asked:

Pls draw a lizard with double Ds working ward for the money she earns. Fishnets for bonus points

her job is being a lizard and standing on two D batteries and business is good 

she tried on the fishnets but there were none in her size and they kept getting stuck on her spines, despite her lack of flashy clothing (or any clothing at all) she remains the best paid performer at her club

Lily + Remus
  • Ultimate brotp, no one can convince me that they were more than platonic 
  • The first night, none of the other boys take notice of Remus because he is so quiet. He is the first one up in the morning, an early riser like Lily.
  • At six in the morning, at breakfast, Lily sees him and approaches him with a giant grin that is so like her. “Someone else who is up at the crack of dawn,” she says. 
  • They go out to explore the grounds together
  • In fact, early morning walks are their specialty. This knowledge of mapping out the grounds comes in handy when making the Marauders Map (unbeknownst to Lily)
  • Remus, new in first year, is the only person from the class other than Lily who has read his textbooks. In Transfiguration, Lily and him earn Gryffindor twenty points the first day.
  • Lily and him become study partners before he becomes friends with the other Marauders. She is there for him “when no one else was”. 
  • She begins to take notice of the days he’s gone. 
  • She realizes what he is, but never confronts him. She knows he is still Remus.
  • In second year, when the Marauders figure it out, Remus runs away, hiding. She is the one who convinces him to go back, because she could see the “beauty in others that they didn’t see themselves.”
  • In third year, James starts to like her. (“Moony, mention my name, please when you study”)
  • Later that evening, Remus and Lily discuss Cheering Charms, “Did you know, James is so good at charms,” he says. She raises her eyebrows.
  • “James is great with flobberworms.” When doing their care of magical creatures essay.
  • Because Remus is the number one Jily shipper.
  • Fourth year, she sees Remus staring at Sirius’ hair. She grins to herself. The next day, Sirius’ hair is braided and she sees Remus blush terribly and she laughs. 
  • Remus turns around and he knows that she knows. Thus start her and James’ awful plans to get “Wolfstar” together. (”Potter, let’s just drop Amortenia on Black’s Head”)
  • Remus making them fail on purpose so she and James get more time together. (“Sorry, Lily, I accidentally messed up all my lines.”)
  • During fifth year, they were the best team of prefects. Although Lily disapproves that Remus would not argue with his friends, she did not blame him for it.
  • Fifth year, during O.W.L season, Remus and Lily were the ones calming everyone down.
  • Sixth year, they are the ones recklessly tossing aside their exams because they needed to protest the new ministry laws.
  • During the Prank, Lily convinced Remus to forgive Sirius. She also went to Sirius and punched him in the face during breakfast, tbhus earning her detention for the first time. (”Evans, will you marry me?” James Potter laughs for the first time in five days.)
  • Seventh year, when Lily warms up to James, this time it is Remus and Sirius who start hatching plans.
  • When she starts going out with him, Remus hugs James and whispers cheerfully, “I love you and everything mate, but don’t hurt her, or Moony will rip you to shreds.”
  • After school, they all rent out a flat together. He and Sirius organize the bachelor party.
  • During the wedding, Remus makes sure that Sirius doesn’t get too drunk, and cuts at least 35 deer puns out of the Best Man’s Speech. (”I think 64 is enough, don’t you think, Pads?”) 
  • That is the last night he remembers them being all together.
  • He can’t be there when Harry is born because of the full moon, but Lily brages into his room the next day and makes him hold Harry. (”You’re his Uncle Moony,” she says, laughing. “We can’t leave you.”)
  • Which is why it is sad when they have to part, James and Lily and Harry going into hiding.
  • He goes undercover to the werewolves, and Sirius begins to think he is the spy
  • On Halloween night, he hears what has happened when he is for the first time, not undercover. It was going to be a relatively quiet night free of stress and worry.
  • Now he has no worries, because his worst worries have come true. He rushes to the dilapidated house.
  • His mind is blank as he realizes all that happened. It keeps playing in his kind ovr and over and over again. Sirius laughing manically, much like he used to when there were worms coming out of the Slytherins’ ears. Now muggles were bleeding. revulsion and guilt fill him, because he misses Sirius, but Sirius has killed James. James, the good one, the loyal one, the steady one.
  • He sees James crooked glasses in the coffin and remembers fondly when James fell asleep in History of Magic while staring at Lily when he used to stare at her.
  • He sees his long arms, lifeless, and remembers when  they held him up after the full moon.
  • He stares blankly at Lily, the most of all. Her radiant hair and dazzling eyes (apparently Harry Potter’s eyes), closed forever. Her kind smile that she would never smile again. Her anger that would never be roused again. 
  • But when he looks into the face of Harry Potter, the first thought that comes to his mind is James.
  • But he looks into those dazzling eyes, of one of his best friends, his dearest friends, he cannot bear it and needs to go out of the carriage.
  • Because one upon a time, Lily and Remus were the dearest of friends.
First-Date BAIT!

Words: 11.3k
Genre: Fluff
Read the sequel drabble: here
Read more at Service Series

Cr.

First dates are embarrassing. First dates are awkward. I’ve been through countless ones, sitting across from people who bored the living daylights out of me. It was less exciting than watching paint dry. Some dates were so utterly rude - I think you and I both know what it’s like to be on the receiving end on that. But now we both don’t have to waste our time anymore!

With First Date Bait they went out for me! Afterwards, they informed me if it was recommended to go out on a second date. It’s amazing with a 99.99% accuracy rate! That’s how I ended up meeting my husband!

First Date Bait.
Why waste your time with awkward first dates?


He’s late.

That’s not a good sign.

Keep reading

the-glass-heart  asked:

What is the average low, average, and high cost of a skating costume? And/all interesting things of mention that might pertain therein?

Skating costumes early in your career tend to be much less expensive, in the $200-$1000 range, depending on if they’re custom made, what fabric is used, how complicated the design is, and amount of beading. Younger skaters often buy gently used costumes at club-sponsored sales, because they grow so fast.

Olympic/World-class skater’s costumes range from $1000-$5000 each, depending on what designer, how complicated the construction of the costume is (fabric, mesh, weird design etc). and of course, how much beading. So, skaters are dropping about $10,000-$15,000 USD on costumes for every season (gotta have that exhibition outfit too!)

Designers often work with skaters to create a costume. After listening to the music, they sketch a few designs. Every skater has preferences (separate pieces, body suit, skirt fabric, sleeves, no sleeves, gloves etc). and costumes are constructed to fit exact proportions with seams that are reinforced to be flexible AND especially durable. 

Sometimes a designer is NOT the person/team that actually sews your costume, so if they have a team of stitches, your costume is going to be more expensive. 

Here’s an article from the last Olympics that talks about costumes and has an interview with one of the popular designers. 

Fun Costume Facts (A Lot are Ignored by Ficcers):

There are actually ISU regulations regarding costumes. And you can lose points for violating them. I wrote a post about them here. (Memo: Yuuri and Victor must be much more clothed than they often appear in some writers descriptions. Yurio couldn’t wear his exhibition outfit for a competition).

Almost all mesh is LINED to prevent it from warping and stretching when it is professionally cleaned. Men sometimes get away without it, but tend to have it anyway…it’s COLD out there. So, no, Yuuri probs doesn’t actually have his skin showing under that Eros mesh…but he might.

Men wear dance belts under their costumes to support/secure their junk. None of the male characters are going totally commando under their costumes, regardless of what you want to happen afterwards. Women are wearing tights, but often wear no underwear (or a thong), because the panty line would show and they have “bras” built into the costumes. 

Skating costumes can get wet (almost all bases are waterproof material due to those falls) but they aren’t machine washable because of the beading. Beading is applied BY HAND. And most of the money is going to the time spent by the designer/stitchers laying down your crystals. If they are Swarovski rhinestones, you are racking up a huge bill (i.e. probably Victor). 

The warm-up jackets are used to keep the skaters muscles warm, since it’s bad for you to warm up, skate and then let your muscles “get stiff” and “be cold” suddenly. But they jackets are ALSO used to protect their costumes. It’s why you rarely see a skater walking around without one at a competition before or after they leave the ice. Smelly sweat is easy to clean out…stains…not so much. Also: you really wanna have to have those rhinestones replaced?

Exhibition costume aren’t always made by designers and skaters often wear old costumes or put something together themselves that fits the routine, depending on what they are skating to. 

Gloves used to be frowned upon and considered ugly because they ruin the line of your hand (and they do and they are). They became more common with the advent of the CoP because elements with blade-grabbing earned more points. 

Hope that helps!

See you around? - Imagine

The one where you meet Harry while Fionn gives you a tour around set

Part 2

**************************

‘You’re going to have to come to the gates and get me, security won’t let me through’ I typed quickly. For 20 minutes I had stood at the security entrance of the Dunkirk set, trying to convince the two men manning the gate that I wasn’t another groupie and that I did in fact have a invitation to be here. But it was no use, I was sure that everything I said to them, despite it being the complete truth, was just the same old thing they heard on a daily basis.

‘Ok, I’ll be there in 2 minutes’ he sent back.

I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and huffed, clicking my tongue and tapping my foot as I waited. It wasn’t long before several of the group of girls, who had gathered as close as they could to the set, began squealing and shouting. I couldn’t understand it, the excitement and giggly euphoria they got when they saw my best friend was something neither of us had really wrapped our heads around. Fionn approached one of the security guards and pointed to me. He glanced at the screaming crowd and rolled his eyes as the barrier was set aside and I was ushered through.

“Apologise miss, you understand our hesitation” one of the men said as he pulled the barrier closed behind me.

“Of course, no harm done” I said with a small smile, to which he nodded and returned to his post beside the gate.

“Sorry,” Fionn said as I approached him, gathering me in usual limp hug, pulling away before I could plant a kiss on his cheek. From the day I met him half way through primary school, Fionn had never been one for physical contact, so much so that I would make a point of giving him big hugs and sloppy kisses on the cheek whenever I saw him. He would squirm and groan each time, fighting to push me off despite having his arms pinned to the side by my vice like grip. I found it incredibly amusing.

“Didn’t even think about them not letting you past, not used to this whole high security, screaming girls kind of thing” he said as we began walking deep into the heart of the sprawling maze of trailers and crew vehicles.

“You don’t say,” I laughed with a roll of the eyes, “heaven help the first fan that tried to give you a hug”.

“Don’t,” he shuddered, his face twisting into an uncomfortable grimace, “stuff of nightmares” he finished, to which I burst into a fit of giggles.

“Shut up Y/N! You know I don’t like it” he whined.

“I know I’m sorry” I laughed, stepping towards him quickly and embracing him in an ‘empathy hug’ to which he groaned and told me to ‘get off’.

“Come on then, show me around” I said, skipping several steps in front of him, before stopping to let him catch up. He rolled his eyes but smiled slightly.

For the best part of an hour Fionn led me around the trailers, pointing out the directors station, the canteen, storage units and trailers of many of his co-stars. The tour took longer than necessary, for I stopped to take pictures of many, as Fionn pointed out, ‘unnecessary’ sights, but I dint fail to catch his smile as I dragged him beside me for a selfie next to the big sticker on his trailer that read ‘Fionn Whitehead’ and ‘Tommy’ in slightly smaller writing beneath. He was also surprisingly lighthearted when we bumped into Cillian Murphy and I asked if he would mind taking a picture of the two of us.

“This is so cool” I squealed as he pulled me along to the waters edge and pointed towards several boats which were being used for the film.

“I’m on that one tomorrow” he said, pointing towards a small blue fishing boat.

“Do you escape on that one?” I asked, shooting his a quick sideways glance and catching his grin.

I’m not telling you” he laughed. I groaned and stomped my feet like a spoilt 5 year old. Fionn had told me nothing about the script, he didn’t tell me whether he lived or died, whether he was rescued or captured, but more importantly he wouldn’t tell me whether Cillian lived or died.

“Fionn” I whined, “please just tell me something!”

“Nope” he chuckled and I groaned loudly.

“Seems like a groan is the usual reaction to spending time with you, eh Fionn” a voice said as it approached us. I leaned back to glance around Fionn as the tall figure who appeared out of a clean white trailer just behind us. Fionn didn’t even turn at the voice, he simply rolled his eyes but I caught the corner of his lip twitched up in a barely concealed smile.

“Shut up Harry” he said lightly. I made an effort not to stare as Harry stepped beside Fionn. I had never been one to overly obsess over the infamous ‘Harry Styles’, I didn’t see the point, he was just a boy that could sing, right? Wrong. I had never seen someone look so attractive in scruffy, brown costume before. His hair was slicked back with a dark brown liquid and his face was lightly splattered with flecks of something black. The black substance was also all over his hands and costume.

“Hi” he said as he approached, his voice was deep and thick and it took several seconds longer than was necessary for me to form a response.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, I’m Fionn’s friend” I said quickly, offering him my hand to try and make me seem less lame.

Harry offered me a crooked smile, before reaching his hand out to take mine. At the last second he seemed to realise that his hands were covered in, well whatever they were covered in, and he pulled it away with a chuckle.

“Maybe not” he said lightly and I smiled. I glanced towards Fionn who appeared to be watching the exchange carefully, offering me a slight raised brow once his gaze caught mine. I frowned at him in confusion to which he only smirked slightly and looked away.

“You just here visiting Y/N?” Harry asked carefully, he appeared to notice Fionn’s smile too but quickly returned his attention back to me.

“Yeah, Fionn and I made a deal that I would stop asking him questions about the film if he showed me around the set” I explained.

“A deal which technically you’ve already broken” Fionn pointed out, earning him a light punch in the shoulder, causing him to whine and Harry to burst out laughing.

“Well Fionn, looks like you’ve got more will power than I give you credit for. I certainly couldn’t keep my mouth shut if I had a beauty like her asking me questions” Harry smirked. Fionn grinned at him before turning to offer me a cheeky smile, but I was still too focused on Harry’s words to form any other response than a bright pink blush and a glance towards the ground.

“Anyway, I better get going, this gloop already took longer to apply than it should have” Harry said, glancing at his black hand, turning it over a couple of times before returning his attention to us.

“See you later mate” Harry said, finishing with a firm pat on Fionn’s back. He turned his attention back to me.

“See you around?” Harry said, the end of his sentence rising in hope as he looked at me with raised brows and wide, bright green eyes.

I blushed once more and smiled.

“Yeah, see you around” I said quietly. He seemed content with my response, offering us both one last nod and a lingering glance towards me before heading away and disappearing between two trailers. I watched him go, avoiding eye contact with Fionn at all cost. When I knew I couldn’t no longer avoid the inevitable, I glanced towards him only to be greeted with a wide, knowing smile.

“Shut up Fionn” I mumbled, turning and walking past him along the waters edge.

“Didn’t say a word” he laughed before catching me up and leading us on to the rest of the set.
****************************

It’s so hard to write about Fionn when I really know nothing about him other than he is the same age as me hahaha!

Anyway I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!

- Steph

‘babylove’?

requested: nope

warnings: nothing this is really cute (language is a given at this point)

pairings: tom holland x reader

type: hc list

summary: it’s the first time you visit the holland’s at their home in london, and you’re trying your hardest to impress everyone. you aren’t tom’s girlfriend just yet, but it’s obvious that you two fancy each other.

a/n: i’ve had this idea stuck in my head the entire day because it’s so fuckin cute. it’s pretty long, but i think it’s good. i hope u all enjoy! 

this is written in an american’s pov, but there aren’t any gender mentions in this, so it can be read in any gender once again!!

also, when i put things in parentheses, it’s usually me putting in my reactions. i do this periodically :-)

  • “PIP PIP ‘N CHEERIO GOVENAH!”
  • “y/n we don’t actually say that”
  • “tom, i have to get myself situated. with the boiling tea and crumpet chip biscuit whatevers.”
  • YEEHAW. you’re traveling to meet tom’s family back in london.
  • you’ve met harry, sam, and harrison already, but there were still three very important people to meet
  • you had met tom through a mutual actor friend who brought you on set one day
    • obviously it went like a fairy tale
    • your friend left you alone on set while they went to get snacks for you both
    • tom seen you, and came to tell you that only actors could be on set at that time
    • causing you to freak out, because UH, spider-man is speaking to you (ohMygOd, it’spEterparker)
    • which of course made tom cocky, and he was like “ayyyyy baby i’ll give u an autograph”
    • then your friend came back and officially introduced you two
    • and tom saying “you’re friends with y/f/n? i’m so sorry”
    • “i know. it’s tragic.”
    • “you two are perfect for each other” with an eye roll
  • so to say the least, you and tom had sparks from the beginning
    • not to mention the backhanded, sarcastic compliments that often lead to flirty and witty comebacks
      • “you’re cute, for 5′8″.”
      • “good thing you have a good personality because that outfit today was… :/”
      • “just wait until i see you again. you’re dead, holland
      • “well why don’t you come over right now and show me what you’d do?”
      • going over to play wrestle until you dominate him and straddle his hips while your breath is hitched and he’d just look up at you like “holy fuck
  • with the whole banter situation taking place, it kind of shocked you when tom asked you if you wanted to visit his family with him
  • like, REALLY took you off guard
  • because this was really domestic of him, and he hadn’t really ever showed that side to you
  • but nonetheless, you took the opportunity
    • took a bit of persuading to get your family to allow you, but eventually, everyone agreed. (boy it’s a good thing you got that passport that you totally didn’t get for the sole purpose of this occurring)
      • “as long as you call every morning and night, and text when necessary. and take pics.”
  • lots of preparation through facetime
    • “i heard it’s really fuckin’ cold in england. should i pack a parka?”
    • “y/n it’s not that cold. plus you won’t need two.”
    • “what do you mean i won’t need two if i-”
    • in a thick accent “peta parka.”
    • “….” deep sigh “can i get a refund for my ticket”
    • “don’t think so, love” in a soft laughing tone (AAAAHHHHHH)
  • after two or so weeks of packing and unpacking, and checking the checklist fifty times, it was finally time to depart to southwest london, darling
  •  this boy got first class tickets for the both of you
    • or at least that’s what he thought
    • he actually only got one for himself lmao
    • so instead, he swapped seats with the person beside you
      • oh my god shy hand holding on the plane would be expected
      • also cute little candids that would go up on each others instagrams wow
  • fast forward to arriving at the holland home
    • p.s., the entire car ride there was filled with little thigh touches to try and calm you down. but that only made you more nervous because god have mercy this beautiful boy wasn’t trying to act funny or anything like he usually acted, he was being genuine and that made your heart full
  • once at the door, you were greeted by nikki, dom, and a very excited tessa
    • “hello love! it’s so nice to meet you! tom has told us SOOO mu-”
    • DAD!!!!” would be said between clenched teeth while he would be blushing
  • with red cheeks of your own, you’d walk in to see the two brothers you had previously met, and a new face, who you recognized as paddy
  • sam and harry would say hello, but paddy would whisper yell to one of the brothers
    • “is that who tom calls his ‘babylove’?”
    • both you and tom would just stand there, his jaw would drop and one of your eyebrows would raise up
    • and you’d turn to tom with a huge smile and just whisper “babylove?”
    • and he’d blush even harder and be like “let me how you to your room!!!!!!!!!”
  • he’d bring you upstairs and into the guestroom so you could put your stuff up
  • then you’d follow him to his old room, and you’d sit on his bed and just have a look around while he piled his clothes into a hamper
    • hear me out
    • there would be little spider-man symbols across the wall, with some football flags strung up every so often
    • and you’d be like “you really weren’t lying about your obsession with spidey, huh?”
    • and he’d come and sit beside you and shrug while looking at his old decorations
    • you’d lean in and give him a lil kiss on the cheek before saying “it’s really cute, tom.” and he’d immediately light up and become a shy baby
  • then you’d hear footsteps coming up the stairs, and you’d pull away from each other with cute little grins
  • sam would look in and be like “mom wants to know what ya want for dinner”
    • and tom would turn to you and be like “well?”
    • and you’d insist that he choose, since he hasn’t been home in awhile
    • he’d say something he heard you talking about wanting to try
  • sam would leave and then you’d just nonchalantly grab tom’s hand and follow sam down
  • once down there, you’d be met by the family, minus nikki and sam who would venture into the kitchen
  • you’d let go of tom’s hand, and sit by paddy on the couch
    • little conversations would start up from dom
    • literally just things like “so tom said you can sing” and “tom said you guys met through a friend of yours?”
    • he wouldn’t even have to ask you questions directly because tom has told them virtually everything because the boy was swoon as fuck
  • but after a little while of tom and the rest of the family in sight getting caught up, you decided to slip out of view yourself and join nikki and sam in the kitchen
    • a “hey sweetheart! whatcha need?” coming from nikki
    • but you’d be like “i just wanted to know if you guys wanted an extra hand?”
    • sam would be like “hell yea y/n knows how ta cook”
    • but nikki would be like “that’s alright, it’s our pleasure to treat a guest of tom’s! thank you though, that’s really sweet”
  • so you’d walk back into the living room after a few “are you sure?”’s
  • and dom would be like “kicked out of the kitchen?” with a small laugh
  • and you’d answer with “yeah. you holland’s are stubborn.” 
    • which would definitely make tom pout, and your response would be to pat his cheek and say “pouting wont exclude you,” followed with a quiet “babylove.” while you dropped your hand
  • some time passed before nikki and sam returned, and nikki said dinner would be ready in about thirty minutes
    • those thirty minutes consisted of the family sharing embarrassing stories about tom
      • and him eventually hiding his red cheeks in the crook of your neck (sweet god)
  • soon, the timer went off and everyone made their way into the kitchen and got their plates
    • tbh i see the family taking all the seats around tom, so you’ll get to sit in between dom and nikki (i’d love that holy shit)
  • after dinner, you helped wash the dishes. that earned major brownie points from nikki and sam
  • it was getting kind of late, so the family suggested watching a movie or two together
    • oh my god tom would take you upstairs again and tell you to change into your pajamas because that was a tradition for movie night
      • wearing batman pajama bottoms knowing it would tease him
      • him refusing to let you go downstairs before changing into a pair of his spider-man bottoms
      • giving in once he gives you the puppy dog eyes while his forehead is pressed against yours
  • watching some sort of proper english movie because it was your first time visiting
    • angus, thongs and perfect snogging came into mind
      • harry loudly asking if you and tom ever snogged like that
    • cuddling with tom under a big blanket
  • when the family started to get a little drowsy, they decided to call it a night
  • everyone started to head upstairs, and you and tom did the same after grabbing a few snacks and some drinks
  • once in his room, you’d sit on his bed and just smirk at him until he’d ask what was up
    • and you’d immediately be like “what’s up with this lovey dovey side of you? you usually act like a sarcastic shit around me”
    • he’d just look down and press his hand against the nape of his neck and mumble “i like you”
    • and you’d say “well i got that part awhile ago”
    • but he’d sit there for a few seconds, trying to think of a way to say what he had in mind. he finally sighed and spoke out to you, “i mean, i think i’m falling in love with you”
    • and you’d sit there with your lips parted, and your eyes darting back and forth between his
    • he’d start to blabber on about how it was just a strategy that he used because he didn’t know how to show you how he really, truly felt
    • and you’d cut him off, and say “can i kiss you?”
    • and a few seconds of silence would take place before he would cup your cheeks and literally empty all the passion he held in his body out in one single kiss, while you would do the same
    • after you both pull away, he’d lower his hands and you’d both just sit and stare at each other
      • you’d raise your hand up and cup his cheek and rub your thumb across his cheekbone
    • eventually, you would say you’re tired, and press a small kiss against his lips before getting up and heading for the door
      • “goodnight, thomas.”
      • “goodnight, y/full/n.”
        • shutting the door and doing a happy dance all the way to the guest room

  • it’s sunday morning, and you couldn’t get any more sleep in due to the kiss from the night before still swimming through your memory
  • finally deciding on getting up and cooking breakfast for everyone to return all the love you were given the day before
  • carefully sneaking down to the kitchen
    • taking a long ass time to find all the ingredients you initially needed (oils, other stuff)
      • googling measurement equals because what american knows european measurements off the tom of their head
  • deciding on making some fancy omelette roll ups you once had with your actor friend
    • taking so much time to make everything perfect
  • when you finished making the omelette’s, along with some other sides, you would set everything out for easy serving, and then you would head upstairs again
  • since it was a sunday, everyone slept in
    • you’d gently knock on everyone’s door, and say breakfast was waiting for them downstairs
  • but when you got to tom’s door, you’d softly knock before heading on in
    • tom would be sleeping on the side of the bed that faced the window, and you would walk over to that side and crouch down
    • you would subconsciously lay your bent arm on the bed by toms face, and lay your head on your arm. you’d raise your free hand up to toy with a few loose curls while you looked over his features
    • he’d eventually wake up, and smile in a way that was really wide, but evidently tired
      • he would kiss your forehead and say “what a good way to wake up; an angel playing with my hair.”
    •  you’d giggle really quietly and stand up while saying “c’mon, babylove. i’ve made breakfast.”
    • and he’d pull you down onto the bed with him, and pepper little kisses against your shoulders, collarbones, neck, and cheeks before pressing a lingering kiss to your lips!!!
    • while he rested his forehead against yours, you decided to confess something you totally forgot to last night, “by the way,” you’d say in a really soft voice while swiping a messy curl from his temple, “i think i’m falling in love with you, too.”

💌 TAGLIST 💌

(once again thank you all for wanting to be on my taglist!! if you want to be added, just message me!)

@spideyfloof@sidespidey@tonky-stank@stephie-senpai

hey please don’t go around telling people “i KNEW something was off about them!” when people are outed as abusers. cause that’s just furthering the idea that you should always be able to tell if someones abusive.

the bottom line is sometimes you really can’t tell. and you’re not a terrible person for not noticing. keep the blame on the abuser please, not the fans, not the friends. this is not the time to earn Superiority Points.

Hockey, quick and dirty (no, not like that)

So the Stanley Cup Finals are upon us and I’m guessing a few people who’ve never watched hockey might decide to check it out, especially since no matter who wins this year, it’ll be historic.

A lot of people watching hockey for the first time: OMG WHAT THE HAP IS FUCKENING SO MANY MOVING THINGS.

Worry not. I am Here For You.

What even is going on here. I’m dizzy.

Yeah, that happens. What is going on here is that two teams of six dudes each are trying to get a six ounce rubber puck into the back of the other team’s net. They do this by skating rlly fast, banging into each other, cursing a lot, and flinging the puck around. That’s it, basically. Hockey isn’t very complicated in its basics. There is one way to earn a point (make the puck go into the net) and one way to win (be better at making the puck go into the net than the other guys).

I can’t see the puck WHY SO TINY.

I feel your pain. Watching hockey on tv is a bit of an acquired skill. If it helps, watch the players, not the puck. Ironically, watching it live is WAY easier.

Who are these six dudes?

Each team is allowed six players on the ice. Almost all the time, those six players are three forwards (who are supposed to shoot the puck and score - a group of 3 forwards is called a “line”), two defensemen (who are supposed to stop the other team from being able to score, and get the puck back for their team) and one goalie (whose whole job is to stand in front of the net, be huge and impenetrable, and stop the puck from going in). But except for the goalie, everyone shares in all the jobs to varying degrees. Defensemen often score, and forwards often defend. There is at least one NHL team whose top scorer is a defenseman.

There are way more dudes on the bench. What are they even doing, cheering?

They’re waiting for their turn. Each team can have 23 players on their active roster, but can only “dress” (get geared up and ready to play) 20 players for each game. They usually dress four lines of forwards, three defensive pairs, and two goalies (a primary and a backup - most of the time the backup sits on the bench the whole game. He only goes in if the primary gets hurt or gets scored on a LOT). If you are not familiar with the players and their numbers, you’re probably not noticing that the players on the ice change constantly. Hockey is so strenuous that you can’t do it at full game speed for more than a minute. Forwards play in “shifts” of usually 30-45 seconds, defensemen usually 1 to 2 minutes. They swap out as the coaches direct, without stopping play. I have yet to stop being impressed by this. You often don’t see the changes on TV because the cameras stay with the puck, and the players are changing off-camera.

Wait…what’s a power play? That sounds kinky.

A big part of hockey is penalties. You get penalties for doing not-cool stuff with your stick, your body, your skates. Most are minor penalties (two minutes) - there are also double minors (four minutes) and majors (five minutes). When a team is charged with a penalty, a player goes to the box, usually (but not always) the player who committed the penalty. You’re not allowed to replace the player who’s in the box, so this means his team is short one player, and the other team has an advantage, which is called a power play. Teams have a special group of players for the power play (usually their best forwards) and also a special group for when they’re at a disadvantage (called a penalty kill, heavy on their best defensemen because they want to survive the penalty without getting scored on). It’s possible to have TWO players in the box at once resulting in a 5-on-3 advantage (a two-man advantage is the maximum allowed) and sometimes you’ll get one player from each team with a penalty, resulting in a 4 on 4 period.

Icing? Offsides? These are clearly not cake-decorating terms.

Hockey is played in three periods of twenty minutes each with a 15 minute intermission between them. During those periods, play continues until a whistle is blown or a goal is scored. Whistles are blown for penalties, when the goalie freezes the puck (stops it and hangs on to it so it can’t be played), the puck goes out of play (over the glass or into the bench) or when the teams commit the infractions of icing or offsides. Icing is when someone shoots the puck from behind the center line all the way to the opposite end. You’re not supposed to do that. When the puck is being played toward the offensive zone, the puck has to be the first thing across the “blue line” (the line that marks the beginning of the offensive zone). If an offensive player beats the puck across the line, that’s offsides. 

Hey, they’re fighting! That can’t be allowed, right?

Well…yeah, it kind of is. Hockey players frequently get in minor little shovey-shovey sweary shouty skirmishes (this is often referred to as the players getting “chippy”). Those aren’t fights. Real capital-F Fights are actually a stat that is kept for teams and players. An official fight is usually at least semi-planned and the refs are sort of given a heads-up about it, they usually just stand there and let it happen, and the players keep each other from piling on. It’s a real fight if the players drop their gloves and if punches are thrown. Believe it or not, learning to “hockey fight” so you don’t actually injure yourself or the other player is a skill that players are taught. It happens, but usually both players will get some variety of penalty (roughing or fighting depending on the severity and who started it). There was a real fight in last night’s game although it was really more like a minute-long hug session.

They’re totally running into each other. A lot.

Yep. That’s called checking, or hitting. It’s legal to hit a player who has the puck in order to get possession away from him. But there are a lot of rules - you can’t hit someone who doesn’t have the puck, you can’t hit the player with the puck from behind, you can’t hit them above the shoulders or below the knees, you can’t use your elbows, and so forth. Legal hits can still be pretty brutal and how penalties are called for illegal hits is wildly inconsistent. Hits are another stat kept for the teams and it’s a measure of how aggressive they’re being in taking puck possession.

Hey, the players are getting points too, not just the teams.

Yes, they are! Hockey is very team-oriented. It’s extremely rare for a player to score a goal without one of his teammates setting it up for him, or getting the puck to him in a way that enables him to score. Players get equal points in their individual stats for both goals and assists. Each goal has the possibility of two assists - the guy who touched the puck before the goal-scorer, and the guy who touched it before that. Assists are not recorded on every goal, and some goals only have a primary assist and not a secondary. When we talk about players’ stats, the ones most frequently mentioned for forwards are total points (goals + assists), goals, and points per game (goals + assists divided by number of games played). Any player will tell you that the ability to just shoot the puck into the net is not the most important part of offensive play - the ability to “create offense” and set up plays that result in a goal is even more important. Some players are goal-scorers (Alex Ovechkin is one example) and some are players that do more offensive creation (Sidney Crosby is like that). 

DUDE THE GOALIE IS GONE. DID HE REMEMBER THAT HE LEFT THE OVEN ON?

If the goalie is gone it’s probably in the last 2 minutes of the game and his team is losing. There is no rule that says you HAVE to have a goalie on the ice and you’re allowed six players, so if you pull your goalie, you can put another forward on to score. If there’s 2 minutes left and your team is down by 1 or 2 goals, if you pull your goalie, the worst that can happen is you’ll lose MORE, and you might be able to tie the game and force overtime, or even win, if you put yourself at a man advantage with an extra skater. This is called an “empty net” situation and it’s nerve-wracking, especially if your team is the one that pulls the goalie. All it takes is for the other team to break away from your defense and they can pretty much score unchallenged. (There is another situation, delayed penalties, during which a team pulls their goalie during other times in the game, but that’s a bit advanced. I can explain it if anyone’s curious)

Um, is it me or do these playoffs take forever?

It’s not you. The Stanley Cup playoffs take forever. Sixteen teams make the playoffs (out of 30, soon to be 31 teams total) and they play four rounds, each of which is a best-of-seven. The winning team at the end could have played as many as 28 games in the post-season - the regular season is 82 games long. There are four divisions in the league grouped into two conferences. Each division sends their top three teams to the playoffs, then each conference sends the next two highest-scoring teams for a total of eight teams per conference. Those eight play for the conference championships, then those last two teams go on to play for the Stanley Cup. This year’s western conference champions, the Nashville Predators, and the eastern conference champions, the Pittsburgh Penguins, are two games in to the final round now. Pens are up 2-0 games in the series. Each round takes about two weeks - the playoffs started April 12 and could end as late as mid-June if the final round goes to seven games.

A lot of these dudes seem to be Canadian.

Yep. Hockey is Canadian for sure. Of the players in the NHL, 50% are Canadian (if you can name a world-famous hockey player there’s about a 95% chance he’s Canadian), 25% are American and 25% are European of some other variety (mostly Russian, Swedish, Czech and Finnish). One of the things about hockey that bugs me is that it’s SO WHITE. There are many reasons for that, but it’s getting better. At this year’s All Star Game there were six minority players invited, and there are some amazing up-and-coming young players of color in the league like Auston Matthews (who will 98% probably win the Calder trophy for Rookie of the Year this year), Josh Ho-Sang, Seth Jones and Nazem Kadri, three of whom played in this year’s playoffs.

There’s a lot of hugging. I did not expect this much hugging.

Hockey players hug a lot. After someone scores it’s pretty much standard for there to be a big hugpile.

Okay, I think I’m good for now.

Awesome! Hockey is fun to watch and hopefully this has been helpful. I enjoy talking about it and learning more stuff myself, so send me an Ask if something confuses you.

WATCH ME BABYGIRL [13]

Summary: Jungkook is your brother’s annoying best friend. You can’t stand him but he just can’t resist teasing you. How far will he actually go?

Warnings: none!

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“Okay everybody, I have some exciting news!” Hoseok exclaimed, clapping his hands together to gain the attention of the dance team.

You looked up from your phone. You should have been stretching but you simply couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You crossed your legs, grateful that Hoseok wasn’t a strict captain and also grateful at the distraction. Jungkook had been texting you non-stop again, but it was about baseball. Four hours of hearing about baseball? You were exhausted, although you did find it cute that he was so passionate about the sport.

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