earlymorning

2

Θυμάσαι;
(Σίγουρα θα θυμάσαι, εξάλλου δεν το έζησες μόνο μια φορά)
Εκείνο το πρωί,
που ξύπνησες αναγκαστικά τόσο νωρίς,
με την καρδιά σου να χτυπά σαν τρελή από το άγχος
και τράβηξες το σώμα σου μέχρι την κουζίνα για να γεμίσει την κούπα του καφέ,
δεν λειτουργούσε και ιδιαίτερα το μυαλό σου εκείνη την στιγμή°
το μόνο που μπορούσες να σκεφτείς ήταν το πότε θα γυρίσεις ξανά στο κρεβάτι σου,
και έκλεισες λίγο τα μάτια γιατί πέρασε λίγο φώς απο το παράθυρο
-μα αν είναι δυνατόν πρωί πρωί-
κι έτσι όπως γύρισες να κλείσεις την κουρτίνα,
είδες για πρώτη φορά αυτό που υπήρχε κάθε πρωί στο παράθυρο σου,
την Αθήνα που κρυβόταν στο βάθος απο την ομίχλη
και αφού ήπιες μια γουλιά καφέ,
αποφάσισες (πάλι καλά) να βγεις στο μπαλκόνι για να κοιτάξεις καλύτερα,
να τραβήξεις και καμιά φωτογραφία
Και μόλις βγήκες ένιωσες τη δροσιά του πρωινού στο πρόσωπο σου
και αυτή την ατμόσφαιρα που σε κάνει να πιστεύεις οτι είσαι μόνος στον κόσμο
και ότι τα προβλήματα σου έχουν χαθεί,
όμως, τότε κοίταξες το ρολόι
και έπρεπε να φύγεις°
και αφού καταράστηκες -για άλλη μια φορά- το πρωινό ξύπνημα
και σκέφτηκες την συνέχεια της ημέρας,
την κούραση και όλα όσα θα αντιμετωπίσεις,
κοίταξες για μια τελευταία φορά αυτή τη θέα
και είδες επιτέλους το πραγματικό φως του ήλιου,
αυτό που δεν περίμενες ποτέ οτι θα αντικρίσεις στο χάος που επικρατούσε μέσα σου,
το φώς που σου έδωσε το κίνητρο για να συνεχίσεις εκείνη την ημέρα
και το φώς που τώρα πια κοιτάζεις κάθε πρωί για να συνεχίσεις να ελπίζεις.
Τώρα πια κατάλαβες ότι το μόνο που χρειαζόταν, ήταν να τρίψεις λίγο πιο καλά τα μάτια σου.


7:50 π.μ.

early morning tips

Hey y'all! As a someone who likes to sleep in until 12-1pm, adjusting to early morning hospital rotations has been difficult to say the least. However, I think I’ve figured out a few things that have made life easy in the morning and have gotten me a few extra minutes of precious shut eye. Let’s begin!

meal prep: I can’t emphasize this one enough! Prepping your meals has so many benefits, from saving money (because we all know hospital food is gross AND expensive), being generally healthier, limiting food waste, and most importantly saving time! Meal prep some pasta salad, overnight oatmeal, even sandwiches, and you’ll be thankful in the morning when you can just grab some Tupperware and run out the door.

make your coffee the night before: This one has been a lifesaver. You can put double the amount of grounds into your coffee maker the night before, so that in the morning, you just push a button and the sweet sweet caffeinated nectar comes right to you. Pro tip! Make twice as much coffee and then put the leftovers in a thermos so you can have cheap caffeine when that 2pm lull hits you.

lay out your clothes and supplies the night before: First, as long as you’re dressed appropriately, basically no one cares what you’re wearing. Make sure your day will be either surgical scrubs, med scrubs, or white coat/professional and lay them out the night before.

set as many alarms as needed and keep your phone AWAY from your bed: When it’s time to wave up, you need to make sure you’re actually able to wake up. Having your phone away from your bed (preferably somewhere you have to walk to), ensures you don’t easily snooze all of your alarms and ensures you physically get out of bed to turn off your alarm.

place “can’t forgets” by your keys: There is always random shit you can’t forget to bring to the hospital or to lecture, so to ensure you don’t forget these items, place them by your car/house keys the night before to ensure that you don’t forget them.

minimize/make your make up/skin routine more efficient: If you’re in medical school and still have time to do make up in the mornings I am officially jealous of you. To minimize time, try to cut out unnecessary steps and lay out your make up in order of use on you counter the night before. We often forget how long it takes to do make up!

play upbeat music: I was skeptical of this one, but it actually works! Play upbeat fast-paced music to help get you in the mindset of being quick and efficient. You’d be amazed how much time you lose being sluggish and slow in the morning.

Feel free to message me for medical school advice, and add you own little tips to this list as well! Happy studying medblrs!

It’s beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind ,someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts, someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you’ve built up around your mind and let them inside..
I say I am losing my appetite because of the heat of the summer, but it is the heat of his skin that makes any food secondary to the taste of him. Ever since he kissed me, I have only drunk coffee. It is only substance my lovesick stomach can hold down. I take it black as the night we love so dearly and wallow in its bitterness, hoping to drown out the softness he set in my stomach. For it seems dangerous to fall in love with him, to feel him in the bottom of my belly and sense him in the echo of my mouth whenever he is not close to me. I drink coffee as black as the night as if it could save me. I drink coffee as black as night as if it could make him into an acquaintance again. But we both knew that sacred second right before our lips touched was far too similar to the storm riveted sea his large eyes resemble, and there is no way to turn back the time we erased with our mouths. In his arms, there is nothing, and there is everything. In his gaze, there is a galaxy of “please don’t go”. In his mouth, the stars explode at last as messengers to this unspoken utterance. In the reflection of that coffee as black as night, I can look at myself through the darkness and almost convince myself he is someone I can simply let go. But when my hands shake and my chest aches to the point of virtual agony in his absence, I know the warmth of his skin cannot be replicated by any force this natural universe could muster- and the third empty coffee cup of the day doesn’t begin to come close to the fulfillment only he can bring to me.
—  ap (6.23.17) 01:27am