ear pulling

arubazuxxxxubarazu  asked:

How about a scenario where the elgang ask ciel if his ears were always pointy or did they become that way due to the contract?( bonus points to u guys if someone tugs on them to check but they are infact real)

“Stop- stop pulling my ears!  Yes, they’re real!  Yes, I got them after I contracted with Lu.  Yes, she wanted me to pierce the tips of them.  Of course I declined!  What kind of gaudy weirdo do you think I am-

“Oh, Rena, you have the tips of yours pierced?  I- uh, I mean no offense.  It’s simply- ow, you brat Elsword, stop pulling them!  I’ve already told you they’re real!  Get off that stool, you’re going to fall, or else I’m going to push you if you keep pulling my ears-

“Lu, thank El.  Help me out here.  Stop laughing!  You’re the worst master ever!  And now you want cookies… Good El, does this ever stop?”

The One with the Giant Poking Device

Characters - Dean x Reader

Summary - An awkward moment while sharing a bed leads to an interesting morning.

Word Count - 5864

Warnings - Swearing (duh), injury (very slight),smut, oral sex/face riding (female), fingering, unsafe sex (remember irl to wrap it before you tap it)

A\N - This was written for mine and Jill’s Hubba Bubba Birthday writing challenge. Thank you to @sis-tafics for reading through and encouraging me. And a special thank you to @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog for betaing. You ladies are the absolute best!

Tags at the bottom

Originally posted by jessica-bones-winchester


Long, calloused fingers grip you tightly, digging into your soft curves as his hands pull you flush against his body. The heat spreads, radiating from him to sink into your bones, flowing through you to settle heavily in your center. The strength in the arms wrapping around you, the firmness of his chest against your full breasts, the gentleness of his hands as they caress you, all of it makes your breath slow, your heart race. You can’t hold back the low whine in your throat when you feel his hardening length pressing against your lower belly. He dips his head to nuzzle into your neck, his warm breath fanning over you. He nudges your head back further, the scruff on his jaw a delicious burn on your skin. Soft sighs catch in your throat as his lips glide over you and you can feel his cock twitch against you in response.

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anonymous asked:

Yo a prompt here they meet in a pair one night like pastelxpunk punk!Phil being out with some mates and Dan with some uni buds and Dan wears like skirts and stuff and get this that night he's wearing fishnets so when they get to Phil's apartment later Phil just rips them apart bc Dan's been subtly teasing him all night long and they like do it on the kitchen counter thanks

Phil was annoyed, and horny. Lately it seemed like those were his main emotions, but right then, he didn’t want to think about that. He wanted to think about the fact that that extremely attractive guy across the bar kept winking at him.

Or maybe he wasn’t looking at him so suggestively. Maybe Phil was delirious, but really, he didn’t care. He wanted that boy riding him, he wanted him desperate and screaming and he wasn’t getting any closer to that on the other side of the room.

“Phil?” His friend Chris laughed, waving his hand in front of Phil’s face. “You’re spacing out again.”

Phil turned to look at him, raising his eyebrows, licking his lip ring. It was somewhat new, and he couldn’t stop messing with it.

“Was I?” He asked, huffing.

“Uh, yeah. You were.” Chris took a swig of his drink, Phil had forgotten what it was because his own brain had been muddled by the alcohol, and set the glass back down on the counter. “Are you gonna fuck him or what?”

“I don’t even know him,” Phil muttered, rolling his eyes and slowly taking a sip of his own drink.

“So?” Chris smirked. “That’ll just make it better. He keeps looking at you.” He nodded in the boy’s direction and Phil whirled around, catching his eye.

Surprisingly, he didn’t look away. The man kept his gaze, smirking gently and looking him over, before slowly looking away. Chris slammed his glass down on the counter.

“That was a fucking invitation if I’ve ever seen one,” he grumbled.

Phil considered it; what he wouldn’t do to get his hands on that guy. He was wearing a flowy yellow shirt that showed his stomach, and a very revealing skirt, as well as goddamn fishnets. Fuck.

The boy went back to talking to his friends, glancing over every now and then.

Chris held out a small glass; a shot; and grinned. Phil must have missed him ordering it while looking at the guy. “Take this, fucker, and go over there or I will.”

Phil rolled his eyes, tossing it back and setting down the glass. “Wish me luck,” he muttered, clearing his throat and scrunching his nose. “Fuck, that’s strong.”

He stepped down from the stool, straightening his leather jacket and cracking his neck; and he walked over to the boy, who was still talking to two friends.

He cleared his throat when he reached them, and the guy looked over, raising his eyebrows.

“Hey, what’s your name?” Phil asked, rather loudly so as to be heard over the loud music in the bar.

“Dan,” the boy said back, leaning forward, nodding. “You?”

“Phil,” Phil replied, grinning. “And I just came over here to tell you that if you look at me like that one more time, I can’t promise I’ll control myself.”

Dan raised his eyebrows, smiling slightly. “And what does that mean?” He asked slowly. Phil shrugged.

“If you want bruises all over you by tomorrow, I suggest you try and find out,” he answered, his voice low, and turned around, walking back to Chris.

“How’d it go?” He asked, tilting his head. Phil smirked.

“You’ll see,” he said calmly, taking another sip of his drink.

Sure enough, about ten minutes later, Dan walked over to them, swaying slightly. He leaned on Phil, resting his head on his shoulder and pouting.

“I’ve been here all night, and I haven’t found anyone to take me home yet,” he whined, looking up at him with wide eyes. He hopped up on Phil’s lap, and Phil sucked in a sharp breath.

“Yeah, okay, we’re going to my place,” he growled, grabbing tightly to Dan’s waist and making him squeak. “Chris, get a ride.”

Chris just shrugged. “Yeah yeah. Have fun, you two. Be safe, use condoms.” Phil smacked him over the head, and Dan giggled.

So that’s how Phil found himself swaying up to his apartment door, a giggly Dan clinging to him like a monkey. A tipsy monkey.

Phil slammed him against the door, attaching his lips to Dan’s. His tongue slipped into Dan’s mouth when Dan’s lips parted, and Dan moaned into the kiss, smiling.

Phil’s hands were everywhere once the door was unlocked, roaming Dan’s body almost desperately. They only made it to the kitchen counter before Phil was pulling his shirt off over his head roughly, doing the same to his own.

He worked at Dan’s throat, his hands searching blindly for the zipper of his skirt. Dan whimpered, leading his hands to it, and Phil got it off in a matter of seconds.

Then came the tricky part; the fishnets. Phil growled, shaking his head and tearing them apart completely, tossing them aside to get to the part he really cared about.

Dan gasped sharply, clinging to Phil’s shoulders. “Holy shit,” he breathed. “I would normally be mad, but fuck that was hot. Christ.” He tugged at Phil’s belt, pulling it off and fumbling with his zipper.

Phil chuckled, letting Dan work, his breath brushing over his ear. He pulled off Dan’s panties, groaning when Dan automatically grinded against him.

“Fuck me,” Phil breathed, his voice heavy. “Oh Christ, fuck me Phil.”

Phil hummed, chuckling and digging his nails into Dan’s thighs, pushing him back on the counter. “I was planning on it.”

Phil muttered a ‘be right back’ and hurried off to get lube and a condom, in only his boxers, and when he got back Dan was already stretching himself with two fingers inside himself. He looked up, grinning and letting out a soft whine.

“I’d rather it was you,” he said softly, throwing his head back, and Phil was done being nice.

He climbed on top of the counter, pulling Dan’s hand away from himself and straddling him, tugging his boxers down. He kissed him, hotly and open mouthed, and Dan whined into his mouth.

In only a matter of seconds Phil was ready and pushing against Dan’s entrance, making him gasp and throw his head back.

“Fuck,” he breathed as Phil pushed in, moaning softly and biting his lip. “Fuck, more.”

Phil moved slightly, shifting their position and pulling Dan’s hips up so he could get a better angle. He bottomed out, thrusting slowly and watching Dan’s face. Dan was practically desperate, pushing himself back on Phil’s cock and whining.

Phil couldn’t help it; he wrapped his hand around Dan’s throat, pinning him down. “Want more? Huh?” He growled, his voice low and dangerous.

Dan’s eyes widened and he nodded slightly, a high pitched whimper leaving his lips. “Yes, please,” he said weakly.

Phil rolled his hips, fucking into him at a faster but still teasing rhythm.

Dan moaned loudly, his eyes falling shut, and Phil sped up. He couldn’t help it, Dan looked so fucking good like that, desperate, being used. Soon he was pounding into him without mercy, and Dan was letting out incredibly sexy noises.

Phil wrapped his hand around Dan’s cock, jerking him off in time with his thrusts, and Dan was gone. He practically screamed, letting go on his stomach, his cock twitching.

Phil groaned, leaning over to kiss at Dan’s neck, feeling himself get close as well. Dan’s weak whimper, his voice breaking, is what sent him over the edge.

Phil got down from the counter, breathing heavily, discarding the condom and running his fingers through his sweaty hair.

He leaned over Dan, looking down at the exhausted and fucked out boy. Dan frowned.

“I’m guessing you’re gonna ask me to leave now, huh…?” He asked, sounding a little sad. Phil smiled, and shook his head.

“Actually, I was gonna ask if you wanted to stay the night. And if you liked Chinese food.”

deal | pt 2 (m)

Originally posted by sugamysavagebaby

summary: the years spent working hard had really paid off and was it so wrong to want to rub that in a few faces? The cliché mean girls that often teased you for not doing anything with your hair or clothing, wouldn’t it be great to show off someone like Jungkook? High school reunion au + ceo!jeon

word count: 6,848 

warning: pure filth you’re welcome

part one | part three


Jungkook is no longer tender, his lips ravish your body in such a way that it has you believing that the powerful kiss you had shared earlier that evening was nothing but a mere brush of flesh upon flesh.  Hands don’t hold you like priceless porcelain, instead it’s with a vice like grip that he clings to the skin of your hips almost as if he’d cease to exist if he let go.

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Golden Boy

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2165

Warnings: Smut - NSFW

Summary: After playfully sending suggestive pictures to Chris right before he presents at the Oscars you realize that you are in for the night of your life.

Author’s Notes: This wasn’t planned. I had no idea Chris was going to wear a velvet bowtie to the Oscars. I’m basically CEvans Trash. I literally just wrote this – instead of watching the freaking Oscars – so if there are any ridiculous grammar errors – please forgive me… I am tired and hormonal. This is probably trash, ha!

I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this (along with some others). Soo yeah…..

Originally posted by sensualkisses

You hummed to yourself absentmindedly as you applied the rest of your makeup. Chris had promised his mom that he would take her to the Oscars this year, and you had agreed that it was a good idea. After the show was over you were to meet up with him to go to the after parties – which, let’s face it, were always the best part of the night. As you rapped your knuckles lightly on the bathroom countertop your phone dinged – alerting you to an incoming message. You reached for it as you finished putting on your lipstick. Of course it was from Chris.

“Miss you beautiful. Can’t wait to show you off to everyone.” You couldn’t help but smile at this. Of course he would send you something sweet. He had panicked that you would be upset about not going with him to the show, but you had assured him over and over that it was fine.

You had watched him get ready earlier that afternoon – the sight of him in his fitted suit and velvet tie had left your panties soaked. While you had secretly hoped for a quickie before he left for the show you had reasoned with yourself that there wasn’t time. Even the thought of the way he looked caused the tingling between your legs to start again. You checked the time on your cellphone before smiling. If the show was running on time Chris would be presenting within the next five minutes – you turned towards the television playing in the hotel bedroom for confirmation that the scheduling had not gone askew. It hadn’t and you couldn’t help but think how perfect the timing was. You were still only wearing your lingerie – not willing to wear your beautiful dress in fear of getting makeup on it. You positioned your hand over your panties, suggestively touching yourself, and formed a pout before snapping a picture.

“Wishing you could give me a hand.” You texted as you sent the picture. You could tell by your notifications that he had immediately seen it and you couldn’t help but smirk to yourself as you sat your phone down and finished getting ready.


“Jesus Christ,” Chris muttered to himself as he opened your text.

“Everything okay?” Someone beside him asked.

“Oh yeah… yeah,” he nervously blundered as he secured his phone safely back into his pocket. He was due to go on national television any minute, and was now also secretly praying that he could quell his body’s response to your text long enough to present. He chuckled nervously to himself. He knew you had done it on purpose. He had told you when his presentation was, and who it was after so you wouldn’t miss it. “I swear to god, Y/N. You’re going to be the death of me,” he mumbled to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Mr. Evans are you sure you’re okay?” A stagehand asked nervously.

“Never been better!” He announced a little too enthusiastically. Causing his co-presenter to jump beside me.

“Great… you are on in five….four…”

That was fine – he thought to himself – two could certainly play this game and payback was going to be a bitch.


You were nervous. After your text you had never received a response from Chris, but you were sure that he had saw it. Initially you had laughed during his presentation. He seemed maybe just a little flustered – most people wouldn’t have noticed, but most people hadn’t taken him to bed before either. As you exited the limousine you looked around nervously – nearly jumping out of your skin when a warm arm wrapped itself around your waist.

“Hey Babe,” he whispered into your ear – giving you a quick peck on the cheek. You looked up at him and he graced you with one his dazzling smiles. It was only when you really looked into his eyes that you realized he had definitely seen the picture, had certainly reacted to it, and the game was totally on. You swallowed hard – trying to bottle up your excitement as he smirked at you while you walked towards the entrance of the venue. “Just for the record,” he whispered – his beard tickling your ear – “I had to masturbate in the bathroom during the Academy Awards, because of you.” He gave your ass a quick slap which caused you to straighten up in surprise. You couldn’t help but smirk back at him – this was certainly going to be a night to remember.


“Sebby!” Chris shouted as he waived Sebastian over to your table. Sebastian said his hellos before taking a seat between Jeremy and Chris.

“What was up with you tonight?” Sebastian asked with a smirk. His eyes seemed to twinkle with humor as he offered you a wink.

“What do you mean?” Chris asked as he tried his hardest to keep a straight face – failing miserably.

“You seemed a little flustered is all,” Sebastian shrugged as he laughed. “Can’t imagine what would cause Chris to lose his cool,” he added to which Jeremy chuckled.

“I was a little distracted by something,” Chris added seriously as he turned his gaze to you. You knew the more his friends joked the more you were going to pay once you were alone with him.

You smiled shyly as you brought a glass of wine to your lips. “I guess you need to work on that babe,” you shrugged before turning your attention back to your conversation with Jeremy’s wife.


The following hours seemed uneventful – at least where Chris’s revenge was concerned. You gushed over celebrities like Emma Stone, as he politely introduced you – never taking his eyes off of you as you interacted with his friends. Everyone continued to drink – the alcohol seemed endless. Each time a bottle was finished at least two more arrived to replace it.

“Everyone should be dancing!” Sebastian declared as he rose from his chair.

“Oh come on man,” Chris muttered as he shook his head. His face was tinged pink from the amount of alcohol he had consumed. “I don’t know if I can even stand right now,” he laughed.

“Y/N?” Sebastian asked as he offered you his hand. You took it willingly looking over his shoulder to see Chris’s reaction. He was watching you like a hawk – good.

You left the table with Sebastian hand-in-hand. Out of all of Chris’s friends you liked Sebastian the best – probably because you had known him before you had ever met Chris. “You are going to have hell to pay,” Seb laughed as you danced against him.

“A girl can only hope,” you laughed as you smirked in Chris’s direction. He was already rising from his chair – his eyes trained only on you and his best friend.

“That didn’t take long,” Sebastian laughed as Chis meandered his way through the crowd. As he neared Sebastian shouted, “She’s all yours,” before laughing and walking back to the table where everyone else had stayed.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Chris muttered into your ear as he pulled you roughly into him. He placed his hands on your hips –guiding them to grind into him as you felt his growing erection. “You kill me,” he muttered breathlessly against your neck. You could feel the wetness between your legs grow as he continued to harden against your contact. The feeling caused you to let out a soft moan. “Oh do you like that,” he whispered seductively into your ear.

“Yes,” you responded breathlessly. “Chris, I…” but he cut you off.

“Follow me,” he demanded as he took your hand, guiding you towards one of the many private bathrooms. Being a celebrity had its perks – at least you had a room to yourself.


You sighed as Chris looked the bathroom door behind him. You were ready. Ready for him to ravage every part of your body.

“Not so fast,” he chuckled as he pushed you gently onto the couch – you never quite understood the need for couches in bathrooms, but for once you were glad to have one. You pouted quietly as Steve took you in. “Now listen here baby girl – you’ve been torturing me all night. Sending me that naughty picture of you and grinding yourself up against my best friend. Now it’s my turn,” he muttered softly as he slowly removed his tie. “Give me your hands,” he commanded. You obeyed giving him your hands. He took them in his hands and tied the velvet material around them securely. He spun you on the couch – making you lay on it fully before raising your hands above your head. “These better not move, do you understand me?” He asked. You nodded as you whimpered your assent. You would do whatever he said if he would help the aching feeling between your legs.

He smirked as he worked your dress up to your waist – admiring a portion of the lingerie he had seen earlier in the picture. He slowly planted kisses up your leg causing you to squirm uncontrollably. More than anything you wanted to twist your fingers through his hair and you soon found your hands moving from their position. “What did I say?” he asked calmly as you placed your hands back above your head. “Good girl,” he hummed – kissing your wet core through your panties. “I think we can get rid of these,” he murmured against your skin as he worked your panties off. He gently circled his thumb around your sensitive clit causing you to buck your hips. “Mmm, my naughty girl. You’re so wet,” he remarked as he slid a finger inside of you causing you to moan out his name. “That’s right baby, you’re mine,” he said fiercely as he added another finger – pumping them in and out of you as you squirmed with pleasure. You could feel your walls tightening at his touch and your moans became louder. You didn’t care who heard you. “Not yet baby,” he whispered as he removed his fingers.

“What?” Your head snapped forward at this. He couldn’t just get you close and then stop. “Chris,” you whined as you tried to sit up. He pushed you back gently with a smile before moving his face between your legs. He smirked up at you before burying his face into you. As he lapped at your wetness you moaned his name louder causing him to suck on your sensitive clit. As you bucked your hips he slid a finger into you. His mouth and fingers were too much – causing you to cum all over his face. He lapped away your orgasm – causing more moans to fall from your mouth – before he broke away with a smirk. His beard was glistening with the remnants of your pleasure which immediately made you ready for round two.

“Stand up,” he demanded as he stood and offered you his hand. You placed your bound ones in his and he helped you to your feet. “I want you to bend over the sink,” he explained as he motioned over to the sink. You did as he commanded – your bound wrists stinging softly as the velvet bit into your soft flesh. You watched in the mirror as he removed himself from his pants – stroking himself a few times before approaching you from behind. He lifted your dress to your waist again before nudging your legs apart with his own. As he slid into you fully you groaned. He began to thrust into you as he held on to your hips tightly. “God – you are so tight,” he exclaimed as his thrusts began to become more disjointed. You groaned as your body reacted to his thrusts – you could feel your walls tightening again with the promise of a glorious orgasm. When he began palming your sensitive clit you came undone around him – your orgasm spurring his own. He stiffened as he filled you with himself. He sighed softly into your hair as he kissed the back of your neck affectionately before removing himself.

“So that’s what happens when I send you nudes when you’re at the Oscars?” you asked with a laugh as you sat shakily on the couch.

“I guess so,” he chuckled as he plopped down beside you – wrapping his arm around you and bringing your head to his shoulder.

“Well I guess I should do that more often,” you shrugged as you both laughed.

“Oh hell,” Chris sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What is it?” you asked alarmed.

“Seb and I had a bet on who would have sex at an Oscars’ after party years ago. I never thought it would be me so I’ve given him hell for years about it,” he grimaced.

“Well I guess it’s time to pay up,” you chuckled as you both rose from the couch.

“It was worth every last fucking penny,” Chris responded as he pulled you into him – planting a soft kiss on your lips.


Tags: (I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this along with a few others)

@writingblockswriters @kendallefire @marvelouslyloki @seargantbcky @sapphire1727 @dont-let-me-go-again @amrita31199 @kittthekat @3brosangel @yknott81 @samanthaneedsanap @dreamer1495 @frolicsomefawkes @totallygroovyllama @caffeineandlaserbeams @sebbys-girl @bless-my-demons @moonofhisheart @giggles2107 @summerbummer2001 @ninjayjumper @vidishajain @fan-guirl @ily-celebrities @harleyqueen7

dancing-thru-clouds  asked:

I would like for you to tell stupid tourist stories? Your story-telling style is very engaging.

First of all, thank you very much!

Since flattery will get you pretty much anywhere, allow me to tell you The Tale Of Jar-Jar.

The First year my family moved to Colorado, my family decided to take the annual summer camping trip to Yellowstone, now that we were on the right side of the rockies for it.  So we pile into the car with all my mom’s immortal camping gear from the 70′s (srsly, I still have the Colemann stove and cooler.  They work perfect)  and Cody,The Gentleman Shepherd.  

Due to Wyoming looking mostly like the ugly parts of Mad Max, we got onto the wrong highway and arrived after dark.  Cody waited patiently in the backseat rather than set up in the rain.  Gentlemanly.

The next morning, Mom is doing something miraculous with the Colemann and there is a breakfast of pancakes, eggs and bacon.  The sun is shining.  The birds are singing.  All is serene and beautiful. 

Then the people in the next site pull up.   They arrive in a Brand-spanking new Ford Pickup towing a trailer that looks like it was salvaged of a 50′s atomic test field.  The Husband emerges first and…

I don’t like judging people based on appearance but Man, when a dude walks out of a pickup wearing a confederate flag hat, and half of a mullet one tends to make assumptions.  

The eldest child came out next, a boy of about 12, with a rat-tail.
Followed by his brother, a boy of about 10, with a rat-tail
Followed by his brother, a boy of about 8, with a rat-tail.
Followed by his brother, a boy of about 6, with a rat-tail.
Followed by his brother, a boy of about 4, with a rat-tail.

The wife finally emerges, looking like death warmed over and carrying a boy of about two, with a rat-tail.  It is unclear if she has poor posture or if she is pregnant again.  The Boys capable of standing all immediately do so at the border of our site, staring covetously at my bacon.

Finally, with a loud plop and wheezing noise, comes thier dog, for a given value of dog.  Pugs are not terribly healthy-looking creatures at the best of times, but this poor thing looked like the canine equivalent of a Hapsburg.  One eye was so bulged as to be permanently wall-eyed, and his jaw jutted out in front of him at a distressingly kapakahi angle. 

“C’mere Jar-Jar!” hollers the Husband.

“Good God.” muttered my father.

The adults proved over the course of the next hour to be loathsome creatures- Husband was constant’y screaming at the boys the “fuckin’ get me the thing, you little-”  then getting mad when asked for clarification on ‘which thing?’.  The Wife was a non-stop stream of complaint- the sun is too hot, the shade is too cold, the tent is too far, the birds are too loud, and everything is awful, I’m going to complain to the ranger.  Eventually they got their camp set up, and Husband cracked his first beer of the day as we finished locking the bear box and leaving to hike.  It was about 10 AM.

We return some hours later to a very animated discussion between Wife and the Camp Supervisor about “I have rights you know!” vs. “Ma’am, we are under an extreme fire danger warning, and Fireworks have been banned in the park for ages.”  Jar-Jar, eager to avoid any outbursts, has scuttled under our bear box, wheezing in agitation.  Cody, ever gallant, positions himself between Jar-Jar and his mistress, doing his best impression of a Real Shepherd Who Isn’t Scared of Mice and Snowflakes.  Husband is unseen, but there are several beer cans in the fire grate.

That evening’s campfire, normally a time to listen to nocturnal wildlife and the Quiet noises of wild places, is instead a time to listen to drunken racist jokes, a sobbing toddler and Husband screeching “SAY AI WANNIT” whilst dangling scraps in front of jar-jar, until the dog stood on his legs and danced, garbling “Ai-Wa-War”  in a voice that sounded less like a bark and more like late-stage emphysema, before collapsing on what looked like sore joints.

Late that night, my parents discuss packing up and looking for a site in Teton down the road over the sounds of half-assed drunken sex.

The boys, in spite of their parents, are well mannered, intelligent and engaging to talk to, and seem content to frolic in the woods around the site, examining rocks and plants and the occasional insect.  Dad has a nice time telling them about the Yellowstone supervolcano whilst their parents have vanished to parts unknown.  Jar-jar remains off-lead and un-collared the entire time, huffing and puffing as he tries to keep up.  Still, five boys is perhaps too much attention for an elderly pug, and the too-hard petting and pulling of ears and tail and suchlike is tolerated with an exasperated whine and vacations under our bear-box. 

The second night, Husband was furious about something, cursing up a storm and throwing things and generally having a tantrum.  The eldest boy said something to him and he bore down on him, hand raised and screaming something about ‘useless pieces of shit.”
-When they were interrupted by my mother stepping into their site, all four feet eleven inches of ill-contained fury, staring him down.

“I was wondering.”  She said, eyes not moving from him. “If I could borrow some matches.”
“Ours got wet.” Dad added, immediately behind her, less as support than restraint.

I remember how ghastly quiet the woods got for a moment there, watching the scene unfold from behind Cody, the only sounds the campfire and crickets.

“Uh, yeah.  Matches.”  The Wife muttered, and it was enough to get Husband to back down.

“You have lovely children.”  Dad continued.  “Very smart, very polite.”
“You must be so blessed.” My mother adds, only slightly spitting the word.

My parents take the matches and talk a bit longer but I couldn’t hear.  Husband gave up, flopping down in his chair, but not before giving Jar-Jar a kick.

The next morning, as my family was packing up to head down to Teton instead, The Eldest boy approached us, concerned.

“Sir?”  he asked dad.  “Have you seen jar-jar?”

We hadn’t actually, his gravely groveling notably absent that morning at breakfast.  My sister and I went on a search with the boys through the camp, but to no avail.  We did find Wife, complaining to the campground host that there were too many wild animals around.  In the National Park.  Saddened and trying to give the boys some hope that perhaps jar-Jar had not been eaten by the coyotes, we left.

On the way out the main gate, we ended up behind a Buick with Florida plates, driven by a couple well into their octogenarian period, at about seven miles per hour.  As they stopped at the checkout gate, clearly asking for directions, a dog climbed up to sit in the back window.  A fat, lop-sided, wall-eyed little Pug, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

And that’s the story of how Jar-jar escaped the Hell family to Florida.

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(Also, a li’l snippet under the cut if you want the full conversation since I hate handwriting lots of dialogue in these things :) Rated T for language and references to sex. McReyes is mentioned.)

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Mae Gjallarfjall & Co. VERSUS: Mae "Perfected". Or: The Time the Magic College Dropout Aced the Final.

Context: So, Mae Gjallarfjall back at it again pissing off my GM with my ridiculous damage power and high rolls. We’re assaulting a Maciedon fortress set up in Gaeleaed (this world’s equivalent of Ireland) with the goal of eliminating the evil “perfected” versions of ourselves and the forest spirit Ferauna. I bashed the gate down and vaporized the guards at the front gate with a well placed Fist of Havoc. We bust inside, and get to my character’s evil clone. We had 4 of our members at the start, but at this point it was just me and Tim the Magician.

GM: So you are in a perfectly square room, with four support pillars holding up the ceiling. Evil Mae turns to look at you and says “I knew you’d come. You can’t resist a fight.”

Me: You’re not wrong, you’re just a bitch.

GM: She screams at you in anger. Roll Initiative for combat order.

Me (OOC): *crits* So that’s a crit. I get three questions. First: What’s her base Bare Knuckles and Block?

GM: Her base is 7, but she gets a -2 to hit rolls and a +2 to damage rolls, so her base is actually both 5 and 9. Her block is a 6.

Me (OOC): What’s her HP?

GM: 140.

Me (OOC): Do I currently, due to my time charging up during the Freedman encounter, have a Fist of Havoc ready?

GM: Yes you do.

Me (OOC): Alright, so I’m going to start this shit off by spending two Fate Chips. First I’m going to activate Honor Guard at the ultimate level *rolls for Persuasion and passes check* That gives me and Tim a +3 to my Initiative, Combat stat, and Block for the first 10 turns of combat. I’m then going to run up to the bitch and spend another Fate Chip to activate Ward of Dawn at the ultimate level, which immediately grants me +2 Armor and Damage in the bubble, as well as for 3 turns outside the bubble. And for my last action this turn, I activate Fist of Havoc.

GM: *generic shocked stammering* fucking okay roll Fist of Havoc.

Me (OOC): *rolls my first 40 damage Fist of Havoc* Hey GM, you’re going to hate my guts. That’s a 40. 45 total due to my damage buffs.

GM: Jesus… Alright so you slam Evil Mae for 45 points of damage immediately out the gate. She’s now rolling to punch you. Initiative.

Me (OOC): That’s not a -4, so I notice. Rolling Block. That’s a 6.

GM: You take grazing damage. *rolls* Nevermind, she critfailed the damage roll. She hits your helm and winces in pain from her knuckles hitting your armor.

Me: Looks like all of the brains AND all the brawn went to me.

GM: She screams at you, furious.

Me (OOC): She can be pissed all she wants.

*a couple turns later*

GM: Tim! What are you doing?

Tim (OOC): To what extent am I allowed to interfere with your fight?

Me (OOC): Deal a single point of damage and I will punch you after this fight is over.

Tim (OOC): I want to walk over to Evil Mae and tap her on the shoulder.

GM: She screams in your face after turning to face you.

Tim: Would you like to see a magic trick?

GM: Roll that Magic.

Tim: *crits*

GM: So you reach behind her ear and pull her entire suit of armor out from behind her ear. She looks down in horrified shock to see she no longer has armor. She also has a serious Initiative debuff.

Me: Hey bitch. Rule three of Fight Club: never take your eyes off your opponent. (OOC): I spend another Fate Chip to instantly take Fist of Havoc off cooldown, and Smash her again. *rolls 25 damage*

GM: She looks up, beaten and bloodied. Meta here, she’s 4 points from death. 

Me (OOC): I end her with an uppercut. *11 contact, 7 damage*

GM: Jesus…

Wolf Ethology Weeks. Week 1: Play Behavior

Concerning “Play”

Play behaviors are usually the most controversial and most difficult behaviors to categorise. At Wolf Park, we define play as having the following characteristics:

- Behaviors may be performed out of sequence and/or at different intensities than when the behavior is performed with serious intent eg. in a mock hunt the “prey” may be mock killed first and then chased.

- “Play” partners may switch roles with a dominant animal acting as a subordinate and visa versa.

- “Play” may incorporate certain exaggerated motions and expressions eg. the characteristic “play face” (lips horizontally retracted, jaws slightly open, ears pulled straight up and back or folded flat)

Wotan (left) displaying a “play face”

There are 3 defined categories of play behavior: Agonistic, Social and Solitary.

I’ve got one of the authors of the ethogram looking over my entries and hopefully will have the first one up tomorrow!

Imagine Chris admitting you’re his celebrity crush.

A/N: This is a request from @unstainedlight and it took me forever to get to, I’m so sorry. But here it is, finally! It’s super cute and I’d a lot of fun writing it (as in I giggled a lot) Enjoy! X

You arrived on the ‘The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon’ set shortly after your husband, Chris. The two of you came in separate cars because you’d come from your movie set, whereas he came from the hotel you were put up in while working in New York; he wasn’t due to film ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ until May. Both you and Chris had been invited by Jimmy Fallon to do your own respective interviews on your upcoming movies and pending projects, or so the both of you thought. As it turned out, those reasons were just bait given to your publicists to get both of you on his set at the same time without raising suspicion; the man had something cheeky planned.

Jimmy had interviewed Chris numerous times now- one could say that they were friends, so Jimmy knew about Chris’ crush on you. He’d said numerous times now, in most of his interviews, that you were a beautiful actress he admired, with values, morals, and ethics that made him think very highly of you; or in short, that you were his celebrity crush. The thing that Jimmy didn’t know, however, was that they two of you were actually married. You’d met Chris in 2014 while having lunch with your friends, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski. Chris was a good friend of John’s who thought the two of you would hit it off, and you did almost immediately.

After that day, the two of you starting secretly dating under the media’s radar because neither of you wanted the stress that came with having your relationship in the limelight. Both of you had been in the industry for a while now, so you knew what it was like when you started dating someone. The constant scrutiny, the tabloids and the rumors, the analyzing of everything you do and say, the haters and cynics calling the relationship a publicity stunt and waiting for it to blow up- you didn’t want to deal with that. Those were the things that usually ended a Hollywood relationship which was the last thing you and Chris wanted, so things between the two of you were kept under a tight lid.

Your friends and family knew about the relationship, but everyone did as you both asked and kept what they knew to themselves. During your time as boyfriend and girlfriend, you attended all red carpet events alone and took no photos together so you wouldn’t risk revealing your relationship to the world. It was unpractical, difficult, and occasionally lonely, but it worked out. Of course you weren’t going to keep it a secret forever, at some point you were going to want to reveal to the world that you were with the best person you’d ever met; vice versa. You’d both agreed to keep things hush until things were more solidified, and now that the two of you were happily married- the relationship was to be revealed at your movie premiere which was in a week’s time. But perhaps Jimmy’s cheeky little plan to embarrass Chris would move that announcement up.

“Hey stranger,” you called as you caught Chris in your dressing room mirror; he was up first and was walking towards the stage. He poked his head in and shot you a smile which you reciprocated. “Good luck out there, Captain America,” you gave him a two finger salute which made him laugh as he disappeared around the corner with the stage manager.

“Oh my God,” your makeup artist, Arizona, let out the breath she was holding in. “He is so freaking handsome,” she said then chuckled when you laughed. “I’m so glad I’m not the one doing his makeup, I wouldn’t be able to focus.” You said nothing in response as you closed your eyes to let her finish doing your eyeshadow. “Are the two of you friends?”

“I guess,” you shrugged nonchalantly.

“You know you’re his celebrity crush, right?” She was grinning excitedly when you opened your eyes. “As a fan of both you and Chris Evans, I can say that the two of you would make such a great couple.” You had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop from laughing. “You two should really make a movie together, ‘cause that’d be amazing.”

“Yeah,” you nodded in agreement.

“Okay,” she sprayed your face with setting spray then tucked a stray hair in its place. “All done, Y/N. You look amazing as always,” she complimented with a sweet smile. “And as always, it’s been an honor to do your hair and makeup. If you ever need a permanent stylist, I’m your girl.”

“Thanks Arizona,” you smiled then saw the stage director enter the room through the mirror. “And that’s my cue,” you told her and rose to your feet. You followed the stage director towards the stage and watched the TV, waiting for Jimmy to introduce you and bring you out.

“So Chris, I’m not sure if you’ve seen the interview your buddy Sebastian did with James Cordon a while back.” Chris’ eyes narrowed slightly as he pondered; he watched most of the interviews his friends and cast mates did. “The one with his celebrity crush, Sharon Stone.” Jimmy reminded him; Chris laughed and nodded. “Well, taking a page out of Cordon’s book- I thought I’d bring your celebrity crush here tonight so you can have the same opportunity to try and win her over with your charm and good looks.”

“Oh God,” Chris laughed. “This is not going to end well, I can tell already.”

“Let’s give Y/N Y/L/N a hand,” Jimmy called and you walked out right on cue. Chris caught your eye and you both tried hard not to crack even though the smiles you had on your faces were enough to give your big secret away. “C'mon Chris,” Jimmy teased as he rose to his feet, joining the audience in giving you a standing ovation. “Get on your feet, give a good impression.”

“Right, sorry.” Chris jumped onto his feet and clapped for you until you got to his side. “Hi Y/N, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” He shook your hand then leaned forward to give your cheek a quick peck. “We’re going to blow this, aren’t we?” He whispered into your ear before pulling away; you subtly nodded in response.

“Hi everyone,” you waved at the audience and they cheered for you. “Oh wow,” you began addressing Jimmy as the three of you took your seats. “It is so good to be back here. How are you, Jimmy?” You asked and he laughed.

“I’m meant to be the interviewer here, Y/N,” he joked and you chuckled. “I’m great, and you look great too. The New York air must agree with you. You’ve been out here for a while now, right?” You nodded. “You’re filming your latest movie which takes place in Manhattan, are you having fun?”

“Crazy fun,” you nodded. “I love New York, it’s where I started my career and where some of my best friends live so- yeah, I’m having a lot of fun. New York’s basically like a third home to me,” you told him; beside you, Chris smiled because he knew you refer to LA- your hometown- as home and Boston- his hometown- as your second home.

“Third home?” Jimmy quizzed. “Isn’t the saying second home?” You nodded, chuckling softly. “Okay then, so if New York is your third home then- where’s your second home? I know LA is your hometown, so that’s number one. What’s number two?”

“Boston,” you answered, trying not to smile too widely as you glanced at Chris; he couldn’t hide his grin. “It’s um- it’s a place close to my heart, a lot of my friends are from Boston- like John Krasinski, and it’s also where I fell in-love actually, with a Bostonian.”

“You’re in-love?” Jimmy looked over at Chris and pressed his lips together. “Aw, that’s a bummer.” Both you and Chris laughed at that. “Here I was thinking I was going to set the two of you up 'cause you know, Chris- Captain America, is not shy about admitting who his celebrity crush is.” You chuckled softly as you nodded. “He’s from Boston too, so if you think he’s better than your current love- it wouldn’t be hard to jump ship. Right, Chris?”

“Well,” Chris winced, trying hard not to crack. “If she’s already in-love with someone else, y'know- I’m not going to interfere with that.” You bit the inside of your cheek, stifling your laughs. “If she were single, of course I’d go for it, but she’s in a relationship, man. I can’t do that to a brother,” he tried not to laugh as he said that.

“Think about this, Y/N,” Jimmy tried to sell your husband to you. “Chris is a fan of yours, he is practically in-love with you already.” You looked over at Chris and he nodded in agreement with Jimmy’s statement, holding a serious face that made you want to laugh. “And c'mon, how great can your current guy be compared to Captain America? I mean- the choice is simple, right? Right, guys?” He asked the audience and they cheered. “The two of you would be the new Brad and Angelina, minus the divorce 'cause you’re Chris’ celebrity crush and I doubt he’d do anything to risk losing you.”

“Oh, definitely not,” Chris agreed and you turned away, laughing. “I’d treasure you for the rest of my life, Y/N.” He took your left hand in his, lifting it into vision but hiding your wedding bands. “I’d love you in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part. But I think you already know that from when we exchanged wedding vows,” he said and revealed the wedding bands; everyone gasped, including Jimmy. “Yeah,” Chris began as you both turned to a stunned Jimmy, chuckling. “I didn’t need your help 'cause I already married my celebrity crush.”

“Oh my God,” Jimmy’s jaw dropped. “How- when- are you guys even- Wait, what?” He laughed, bouncing excitedly in his chair. “When did this even happen? I didn’t even know that you guys knew each other, let alone dated! And you’re married? What the fu-” he cut himself off, his smile wide. “That is amazing, wow! Congratulations, you two! Wow!” The audience cheered and clapped when Jimmy did. “This is exclusive right? No one knew before this moment?”

“Our friends and family know,” you told him, chuckling. “But no one else did, so yes. This is an exclusive on your show. I’m married to Chris Evans,” you said and Chris brought your entwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of your hand.

“Yup,” Chris grinned at you then turned to the camera, “I’m married to my celebrity crush.”

What if, when Eggsy leans in to whisper into Merlin’s ear, and Merlin pulls the cord, nothing happens, and Merlin pulls back with this horrified look on his face, because he goddamn well knows he checked those ‘chutes before he strapped them onto his trainees. He would never actually endanger them, not intentionally, not Harry’s protege; not Lee’s son. Someone sabotaged Eggsy’s parachute, and he’d be damned if he doesn’t get to the bottom of it and tear their guts out through their asshole.

Home Run (Jeff Atkins x Fem!Reader)

A/N: This one is gonna be Jeff and the reader preparing for Jeff’s game with a little smut, but the main focus is he ends up asking her to the Winter Dance in a really sweet way.

Warning: Smut, then some really cute fluff at the end.

“Y/N!” Jeff shouted running after you. You turned back and flashed him a bright white smile but kept running. You picked up the pace and ran across the field even faster. You had stolen Jeff’s baseball shirt and he had a game coming up in a few hours.

So now here you were, sprinting around the football field with your (Y/H/C) hair whipping around behind you, being damn near swallowed whole in his baseball shirt.

“Y/N, come back here! I need that shirt!” He yelled. You giggled wildly and turned back, only to see him getting closer and closer. Your eyes widened as you tried to speed up but you heard his footsteps approaching you faster and faster. You felt arms grab your waist and you screamed as he lifted you up and spun you around.

“Caught you, Princess.” He whispered in your ear. You giggled and wriggled around in his grasp. He chuckled and turned you around so you were facing him.

“You gotta give it back now, babe.” He said, still panting from his run. Your breathing matched his and you looked up at him with doe eyes.

“But, Jeff-” You started, but he cut you off with a kiss. You put your hand on his cheek and rubbed soft circles as he pulled you into him. He pulled away and looked you in the eyes.

“No buts. Now, you know how much I love to see you in my shirts, but the game is in a few hours and I need it to play.” He said. You groaned and backed away from him, unbuttoning the shirt and pulling it off of you. You handed it to him and he sent you a sweet smile.

“Thank you. Now let’s go home so I can get ready.” He said swinging an arm over your shoulders. You leaned into his side and began the long walk back to his car.

~

You laid back on Jeff’s bed tossing a baseball up and down as you waited for him to come out of the shower. You heard the water turn off and you sat up, waiting for him once more. You saw the doorknob turn and time seemed to go in slow motion as he stepped out with nothing but a towel around his waist.

“Alright, I’m about to get ready, babe.” He said turning towards his closet to grab his uniform.

You hummed in response and stood up slowly before walking over to him. Your arms went around his still damp waist and you rested your forehead on his back. You massaged his abs and slowly made your way to the top of his towel.

“How about we have a little pre-game fun?” You said, sliding your hand under the towel and stroking the soft hairs at the top of his shaft. He groaned and shuddered before grabbing your wrist and pulling it away.

“Come on. I have to get ready.” He said, his voice slightly strained. You turned him around and gave him a sweet smile.

“Jeff, there’s still a good hour and a half before the game. That’s plenty of time.” You said swinging your arms behind his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. He hummed into the kiss and placed his hands on your hips. His tongue swiped over your lips, begging for entry and you nibbled on his lip before parting your lips.

His tongue wrestled with yours as you ran your fingers through his damp hair. You gripped the roots and tugged making him groan against your lips. You pulled away and looked him in the eyes.

“Still need to get ready?” You asked him, batting your lashes. He growled and pulled his towel off, his erection already springing free. You giggled playfully and pulled off your tank top and skirt, leaving you in your (Y/F/C) bra and underwear.

“Ay, mi princesa. Eres muy muy bella.” He whispered, putting his hands on your hips. You swung your arms around his neck and played with the short hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Y eres muy guapo, mi amor.” You whispered back. Jeff’s eyes widened as he stared at you with adoration and shock.

“What? I took Spanish.” You said smirking. Jeff just chuckled and placed his lips back onto yours. You moaned as he bit down on your bottom lip and tugged lightly. He walked you both backwards until your calves hit the edge of the bed and he fell on top of you. He flipped you both over so you were straddling his waist, and you sat up before reaching behind you and unclasping your bra, tossing it aside.

Jeff let out a sigh looking up at you and you began to grind your clothed core onto his bare erection. He groaned out and his hands flew to your hips to guide them. He pushed you back and forth, making you slide over his shaft completely. You let out a soft moan when his tip grazed your sensitive bundle of nerves. He opened his eyes and smirked at you before bucking his hips up against yours, applying more pressure.

“Fuck.” You gasped out at the sudden wave of pleasure. Jeff bucked up again and you fell forward, landing chest to chest. You began sucking at his collarbones and he moaned. You moved across his chest, painting it with your little love marks before moving to the sensitive spot under his jawline. He gripped your hips tighter as you nibbled on his favorite spot.

“Fuck, baby. I don’t think I’m gonna make it much longer if you keep doing that. I need you now.” He whispered in your ear. You pulled away from his neck and sat up before climbing off of him, and kicking off your underwear. You walked over to his desk and opened the drawer where he kept his condoms. You pulled out a small gold packet and turned back, only to see him smirking at you with his lip between his teeth. You glanced down and saw him stroking his thick length, moisture instantly forming between your thighs.

You stalked over to him, innocently twirling the small packet in your hand. You knelt in front of him, moving his hand away and replacing it with yours. You placed a gentle kiss to the tip and gave kitten licks to the shaft. Jeff groaned out in pleasure and fisted his sheets. You smirked up at him and slid the condom slowly down his length.

“You just love teasing me, don’t you?” He said, his voice thick with lust. You climbed up on top of him and lined him up with your entrance, before slowly sinking down. You both moaned in harmony as you adjusted to his size. His hands flew to your hips as you started to slowly move up and down.

“Fuck. You feel so good, baby.” He groaned out, thrusting up so your hips met. Your hands went to explore his chest and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. His mouth instantly went to your neck, sucking at the sensitive spots before moving downward and sucking marks on your breasts. His lips circled around your nipple and you moaned out his name.

“I’m close. So close.” He strained as he thrust up harder and faster. Your eyes squeezed shut at the feeling of him hitting that deep spot inside you. Your body began to shudder and your breathing picked up as you approached your climax.

“J-Jeff, I’m gonna-” Your words cut off by Jeff pushing his lips against yours, making your orgasm pulse through you. You shook against him and soon you felt him twitch inside of you. You ground your hips against his, making his pelvis brush against your still sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Y/N, I’m-” He started, stopping when you leaned forward to nibble on his favorite spot. His hands gripped your hips tighter, sure to leave big hand shaped marks. You felt his erection throb as the waves of his climax crashed over him. You both stilled and you rolled off of him, landing next to his sweaty form. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into his side.

“Well, now I have to take another shower. You do too.” He said chuckling. You giggled and he placed a kiss on the top of your head before standing up and disposing of the condom. You sighed and stood up along with him before walking into his bathroom and turning on the water. You stepped in and stood under the water, letting it run over you. You felt arms wrap around you and you leaned back into his chest.

“Hey, let’s actually get ready. You do have a game to win, don’t you?” You said. Jeff hummed and placed a kiss on your head.

“I’ll just have to repay you when we come back. I’ve got a surprise for you anyway.” He said grabbing the shampoo and beginning to wash your hair. You wanted to ask but knowing him he wouldn’t budge, so you just mirrored his actions and you both washed each other. You dried off and got redressed, this time in Jeff’s letterman, then left for the game.

~

You found Hannah and Clay in the crowd and went to sit next to them. Tony came up beside you, holding a popcorn and packs of candy.

“Woah, you really hit the jackpot. All that for you?” You asked him. He sent you a smile and looked down.

“No, actually I didn’t buy any of this. This is all for you, from Jeff.” He said, handing you the snacks. Your eyes widened and your lips spread into a smile. You looked over and Clay and Hannah were smiling as well.

“Oh, stop. He just knows I like food. He wants to keep me from starving during his game; although we always go to Rosie’s afterwards.” You said. Clay lifted his hands up in defense and looked away. You furrowed your brows and looked up at Tony, who just did the same. You shrugged and opened a pack of Skittles.

The game started and you saw Jeff go up to bat. You cheered for him and saw him give the umpire a look. He held the signal for timeout and everyone began to mumble in confusion. All of the players came out to the field, holding signs. Someone handed Jeff a microphone and he walked to the middle of the field.

“I know you’re all probably wondering, ‘What the hell is going on?’ But I have an announcement.” He began. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at Tony.

“What is he doing?” You asked him. Tony just smiled at you.

“So, as you all know I have an amazing girlfriend named, Y/F/N Y/L/N. She is smart, and beautiful, and funny, and extremely unique. That ones for you, Clay.” He said with a chuckle. You looked over at Clay to see him with his head in his hands, laughing. Your heart swelled at Jeff’s words and you smiled.

“Now, you all also know that we have a Winter Dance coming up; and if you haven’t figured out where this is going, I’m about to tell you. Y/N, babe? Can you stand up wherever you are?” He said. You handed your popcorn to Tony and stood up, playing with the sleeves of Jeff’s jacket.

“There you are, beautiful. Y/N, I have one question to ask you. Will you do me the honor of accompanying me to this years Winter Formal?” He asked, signaling the other players to hold up their signs. When they were all organized they spelled out, ‘I love you’ in big blue letters. Your hand flew to your mouth and began to form in your eyes. You smiled and moved past Tony to run down the bleachers. You ran towards Jeff and tackled him in a hug.

“Yes I’ll go with you, you idiot. I’m your girlfriend; and I love you too.” You said. Jeff picked you up and spun you around as everyone began to cheer. He put you down and put a hand on your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. All the cheers seemed to fade away in that moment. He pulled away and looked you in the eyes with a smile gracing his lips.

“Hey, Jeff. You hit a home run with me, now go hit another one for the school.” You said. He smiled and nodded before turning back to his spot. You ran back to your spot and sat down next to Tony.

“You used the home run one?” He said with an eyebrow raised. You nodded and stared at your boyfriend in adoration.

“I sure as hell did.”

(Here you go, @princess-tentacles !! This was so much fun to write! Enjoy!)


Uno. Dos. Tres.” Lance counted gently, scattering kisses on Keith’s cheeks after each number with a soft grin. “Now you try.”

“Uno… Dos… Trace.” Keith attempted, frowning slightly when Lance began laughing.

“What?!”

“’Trace’? Where are you from, Texas??”

A deadpan look from Keith had Lance laughing harder as he cleared his throat, shifting in place next to Keith on his bed as the blue paladin leaned his lips closer. “Tres. Come on, Keith. You gotta do the tongue roll.”

You’re a tongue roll…” Keith bit under his breath as he exhaled, trying again. “Tres.”

“Well, you have the word down at least… so that’s deserving enough of a kiss.” Lance teased as he leaned down, his nose gently brushing against the other’s before he planted a soft kiss on Keith’s chapped lips. “We can practice the tongue roll later.” Lance rose his eyebrow, wiggling it slightly, which sent a blushing Keith into a laughing fit.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Hey, whatever helps you learn it.” Lance teased, leaning his head back down with a smile, “now, let’s keep going. Cuatro…”

Enemy fire rained down on a mission gone sour. The group had gotten separated in the fire fight, with Keith and Lance being the last ones to attempt to make it to their lions. They had a clear view of Red and Blue ahead of them, but between their position behind safe cover and the salvation of their lions stretched a dozen or so Galra sentries. Half with blasters, half with swords.

“I’ll go in and distract them, you make a run for Blue. I’ll be right behind you.” Keith said quickly, already crouching for attack. He could take them, he thought. His primary objective was making sure his team was safe. Making sure Lance was safe.

“That is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard, they’ll outnumber you in a heartbeat! Keith!” Lance reached out, but the stubborn red paladin had already pulled up his shield and bolted out of the safety of their cover. This sparked gunfire from the sentries toward Keith, and away from Lance’s position. He cursed under his breath before he began the dash from his cover to Blue. About half way, he glanced over to Keith. Not so surprisingly, Keith was kicking ass. Lance felt a swell of pride in his chest, though that emotion was immediately trumped by fear as he witnessed a sword-handed sentry set to swing at Keith from behind. He immediately brought his bayard up into position, lining up his shot with an exhale. He brought the sentry down, the blast whizzing right past Keith’s helmet. This caused the red paladin to give a brief look over at Lance, eyes wide with gratitude.

Though as much as Lance had gained the attention of Keith, he’d gained the attention of one of the few sentries left. Before Lance could pull up his shield, and before Keith could cut it down, it fired a shot at Lance– a direct hit to his chest plate bringing him down hard.

Lance!!” Keith screamed as his bayard tore through the last of the sentries before sprinting toward the blue paladin, heart pounding in his ears.

Keith dropped down, pulling Lance around so he could get a better look at the damage. The armor was shattered around the impact point, melted around the edges. He couldn’t see the injuries beyond the hole in the chest plate, but the way Lance’s face was scrunched with pain said everything.

“Lance, are you with me??” He tried to keep his voice steady, glancing around to make sure the coast was still clear. “You’re fine, you’re okay… come on, we need to get you to the lions–”

The scream of pain that erupted from Lance at Keith’s slightest tug told him he wasn’t taking Lance anywhere.

Keith’s shaky hand reached up to press the comms button on his helmet, “Shiro! Lance is hit! I can’t get him to the lions! I– Shit–  I need help!”

“We’re on our way, Keith! Sit tight!”

“K-Keith…” Lance whimpered out, his breathing rapid in panic, “h-how bad is it? God I can’t even– I can’t– I’m sorry–”

Lance panicking was the last thing he needed to be doing right now.

Taking a steeling breath, Keith pulled off Lance’s helmet before cupping the blue paladin’s cheeks. “Lance? Lance, look at me. I need you to stay calm.” He looked around, scrambling for anything to take the panicking paladin’s mind off of the situation. He only needed a little time before the others got here for backup.

“Let’s–let’s practice counting again, okay?? I still need your help so let’s count together.” Keith rushed out.

Lance opened his eyes slightly, looking at him as he sucked in a tight breath and gave a nod.

U-Uno… Dos…” Lance started, voice wavering.

“Uno… Dos… Tres–”

A shaky gasp and chuckle left Lance’s lips, prompting Keith’s mouth to shut abruptly. “What? Is everything okay? What’s wrong–”

“You… did the tongue roll.” Lance muttered with a weak smile, “I-I knew you weren’t a hopeless case…”

Keith blinked a few times and chuckled, brushing Lance’s sweaty hair off his forehead as he caught sight of the other lions flying toward their position. They were going to be okay.

“When we’re back at the castle I expect extra kisses for that one. Now, let’s keep going. Cuatro…”  

Our First Time (smut)

She felt the cool metal of the cabinet drawers hit her back, his long fingers weaving through her loose blonde strands. Was it possible to die from ecstasy? If so, what a way to go. His lips trailed a path from her neck to her collar bone as she squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her long legs around him, pulling him even tighter against her body.

Her hands moved to unbuckle the belt around his waist, but they were quickly knocked out of the moment by an obnoxiously loud banging on the door of the trailer.

“Is that your mom!?” Jughead ripped away from his sexy girlfriend and pulled his shirt back on, heading for the door.

She hadn’t witnessed the whole interaction, just the exchange of jackets and his surprised face when she called his name. Heading back into the trailer, Betty started to gather her things, leaving Jughead to speak to his new “friends”. She had to get out of here, what was she thinking? Hanging around Serpent territory after everything that had happened in the past month. Buttoning her jacket and searching for her bag she hardly registered Jughead walking towards her, she never even heard him speak her name. She jumped when he placed a hand on her shoulder

“Betty..” he started before she cut him off

“I should go. It’s late, It’s not too far from here.. I’ll walk, the fresh air will be good for me.” She moved towards the door but he quickly put his hand out to stop her

“You’re not going out there on your own, talk to me. Let’s talk about this.” He begged, his hands playing with the buttons on her jacket.

“There’s nothing to talk about, you made your decision.” She wrapped her arms around herself, it was what she did when she was bidding from someone, it made Jughead heart ache to see her hide herself from him.

“Nothing’s been decided, it’s just a stupid jacket. It doesn’t matter, you matter, we matter” he emphasized the we as she stepped back finally getting a look at him in the jacket.

Fuck. It was sexy as hell.

Obviously not the criminalistic activities tagged along with the logo but the way the jacket wrapped around his broad shoulders, his tossled black hair falling in his face, as he stared at her with wide, scared eyes. This was still Jughead, this was still the boy who had declared his love for her a mere minutes ago, the boy who had made her ache in places she didn’t know possible. He was still her Jughead, just an incredibly sexy version.

His eyes ducked to meet hers before she mumbled under her breath

“Screw it”

The long pink peacoat hit the ground in seconds flat and before Jughead could even catch his balance, Betty was wrapped around him, her fingers tangled in his hair before running over the swirly snake emblazed on his back.

“I want you” She growled into his ear, her hands pulling the leather from his body as they stumbled into his bedroom.

Jughead pulled back, looking into his girlfriends glazed and lust filled eyes as she pulled off her tank top , revealing the lacy pink bra he had admired a few minutes ago. As he stared down at the perfect specimen laying on her back on his old mattress, he couldn’t think of his father or the Southside or his future, all he could think of was being with Betty completely, showing their love in the most absolute way.

“Are you sure?” He asked quickly, his own shirt now laying on the floor as she gazed up at him through her eyelashes

“Never been so sure” she whispered

That was all it took for him to dive into her, lifting her by the hips and tugging her into the headboard, his jeans hanging loose on his hips while she unzipped her skirt letting him tug it all the way down his fingers tracing her long smooth legs. She whined from above him, her hands reaching for him, he dragged his palms the entire length of her body and moaned when she pressed her chest into his hands

“Right there” she let out on a breathy sigh, he glanced up to find her eyes closed as he quickly disposed of her bra, taking the time to admire her breasts before letting his inexperienced fingers wander, by the way she sighed he assumed he was doing something right. Betty could feel how excited he was digging into her thigh

“Protection, do you have it?” She asked dazed as he pulled something from the side drawer

“Never thought this would happen, dad wanted me to be prepared just in case. Never imagined it’d be with you, only dreamed it” he mumbled against her neck, grinding into her, his soft cotton boxers causing friction with the lace of her panties.

She watched as he pulled the condom on, and slowly pulled the lace away, staring intently at something she was certain he had never seen before. Her eyes took in all of him, once he finished he looked up at her with unsure eyes

“I love you Jughead Jones, no matter what you are, who you become. I love you” she encouraged, wrapping her legs around his waist and bringing him inside of her. She winced at the pain, it hurt more than she expected, but hearing the deep guttural groan of her normally composed boyfriend, eased the ache a bit.

“I love you. God I love you” he moaned into her neck, pulling in and out of her excruciatingly slow. It al happened so fast she wasn’t even sure when she had hit her high, only coming down from it just in time to see Jugheads eyes roll back and his shoulders shake. He slumped beside her, dragging her into his side and peppering kisses to her hair

“Thankyou, I love you. That was.. did I hurt you? Was it awful..” he trailed off suddenly stiffening as he tried to pull away.

Betty shook her head quickly, pulling him back down and nuzzling against his bare chest
“It was perfect. Absolutely perfect” she whispered and smiled when she felt him sigh in relief.

“Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. I won’t join the serpents, I’ll… I’ll figure something else out” his hands played with her sweaty strands.

Betty sighed softly
“You do what you have to do. I meant what I said, I love you Jughead, no matter what you are, I’m going to love you.” She turned her cheek to look at him and went breathless at the intense look of love in his eyes.

“Besides” she continued, a teasing smirk on her face “we’ll finally be the real Romeo and Juliet you’re always talking about” she giggled.

Jughead rolled his eyes, pulling the covers tighter around the couple

“Except no one dies, alright?.”

Betty yawned, slowly closing her eyes

“Deal” she whispered before both the love sick teens fell into their dreams.