eames-is-the-bamfiest-bamf

or this is how it could have happened:

oh my god wait what if:

saito has been trying to get eames to do this inception on fischer for like 6 months, and eames keeps saying no because he’s not really into the whole will-altering business,

so saito sends people undercover to find out what eames’ ultimate weakness is, and how he can use it; and it’s THIS DUDE NAMED ARTHUR WHO’S WEIRDLY SHACKLED TO THIS INCOMPETENT MORON NAMED COBB WHO KILLED HIS WIFE AND IS ON THE RUN FROM THE US GOV’T, and the only way eames will do inception is if arthur is doing inception, and the only way arthur will do inception is if cobb will do inception, and Saito is like, SIGH, THE THINGS I DO FOR EXCELLENCE

so he sets up a bogus job with cobol engineering to convince cobb to “run” the inception job, all so that eames will finally say yes

and that’s why saito just magically happens to already be in mombasa, because he’s keeping an eye on his investments ie EAMES

and that’s why eames is just magically able to whip up the whole inception schemata, because he’s been planning this whole job for months already by himself

Watch on bookshop.tumblr.com

and now, my favorite foe, i shall see you one vid of perfection and RAISE YOU ANOTHER.

i honestly cannot pick between these two vids for favorite vid of all time. i just. WHEN I SAW DELTA SPIRIT AT BONNAROO AND THEY PLAYED THIS I NEARLY BROKE DOWN CRYING WITH LOVE, RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ALL THE HIPSTERS DFJ;KASD :((((

“You can’t kill her,” Arthur confronted Dom once. “You can’t, but you need to.”

“I love her,” Dom said, as if that was a valid excuse.

“She’s not real, Dom,” Arthur replied, and he didn’t mention that Dom never seemed to have a problem killing Arthur, who followed Dom around the entire fucking world and was actually on his side.

“She’s my wife,” Dom practically snarled. “She’s always going to be real to me.”

“Maybe that’s the problem.”

________

Eames arrives in his usual flurry of activity and brightness.

The unusual part is that he doesn’t arrive at the warehouse at some decent working hour. Instead, he knocks on Arthur’s hotel room door at two in the morning, everything about him mocking Arthur, who answers the door with bags under his eyes, bed head, and nothing but sweatpants on.

“Good morning, darling,” Eames greets him.

“Go back to Mombasa,” Arthur grouses. “No one wants you.”

“Lying is bad, darling,” Eames says with his maddening smile. His comment hits a little too close to home and he probably knows it.

“Take the couch, I’m going to bed,” Arthur mumbles, wandering back into the bedroom. “We’re leaving for the warehouse at seven.”

Eames probably says some smartass reply, but Arthur doesn’t hear it. He just crawls back into the bed and hugs his pillow.

Arthur lets his eyes droop and thinks life is unfair. He doesn’t want to feel anything for Eames, he doesn’t want to be so fucking pathetic. He doesn’t want to follow Dom around the world. He doesn’t want to be unhappy (and worried, so worried, all the time).

Arthur drifts off to sleep, wondering why he always seems to play the fool.

Hey, Inception fandom — if you only read one fic this (day/week/month/year), make sure it’s this one.