each one represents their own personality now that i think about it

On The Adventure Zone Graphic Novel, Blue Taako, and Representation

 Yesterday, we revealed some pages for our graphic novel adaptation of the first Adventure Zone arc, and received some criticism of the direction we went with for Taako’s coloring. This artwork reveal came some months after the first reveal of some of our characters, for which we also received criticism of our three leads, all of whom were white in these initial designs. Us and the graphic novel team realized that, yes, that is extremely bad, went back to the drawing board, and had several long discussions about how to best rectify this situation, resulting in the artwork revealed yesterday.

More or less all of the criticism we’ve received centers on Taako, whose skin is a pale blue color in these designs. What we’ve heard most is disappointment that Taako is not realized in these pages as a person of color — or, to be more specific, a Latinx or explicitly Mexican character. There was concern we had failed to follow through on an opportunity to get better representation for Latinx listeners, instead opting to take a safe route, and make Taako a fantasy color without any kind of real-world connection. Much of the criticism also focuses on how that color (or, to be more specific, green skin) has anti-semitic connotations.

This conversation was happening in certain corners of our fandom long before the graphic novel art reveal took place yesterday. We’ve heard criticism from some folks over our policy of not having canonical visual representations of any of our characters — a policy that has resulted in a genuinely humbling ocean of fan art, but also some instances of in-fighting between members of the community who take umbrage with one another’s disparate interpretations of these characters. Another criticism of that policy is that it inherently does not foster good representation, and in fact represents a noncommittal way of handling racial representation on this show.

Here’s the truth of the matter: I think all of this comes from this underlying friction between where The Adventure Zone and us, its creators, were when we started doing the podcast, and where we, the show, and you, the community, are at now. 

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Thirteen Reasons Why - Explained

Thirteen Reasons Why

I’ve seen a lot of posts about Hannah being a ‘drama queen’ or overreacting to small things everyone did so I thought I’d explain a bit about what I understood.

1. Justin - Justin exaggerated what he and Hannah did. While this seems mild, it set Hannah up for a terrible high school career because she earned the reputation of 'slut’. This happens so often in schools and in the adult world and can RUIN someone’s life in a certain, if not all areas.

2. Alex - Alex put Hannah as having the best ass against Jessica as the worst. It is clear that the internet is doing its thing again and not taking time to understand things properly; this was NOT A COMPLIMENT AND HANNAH HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. It was a clear violation of friendship and an obvious example of men pitting women against each other for their own benefit.

3. Jessica - I’m going more by the book here, but Jessica was on the tapes because she didn’t believe Hannah and abandoned her when she needed her. A clear example of how people can easily be lead by others and girls turning on each other because of guys. Jessica deserved to be on the tapes because she didn’t hear Hannah’s side of the story and instead took her anger out on her first friend at the school.

4. Tyler - I don’t think I need to explain much about this, but he abused his position as a photographer in school to violate boundaries for his own pleasure similar to how a lot of people in a power exploit those below them. He made Hannah feel vulnerable and took the lack of comfort she felt at school to her own bedroom.

5. Courtney - I suppose this is kind of harder to understand. Courtney was a closeted lesbian and therefore it is understandable that she was upset at the thought of her being outed before she was ready, but Hannah confided in her to help her expose someone else and instead she protected herself by further ruining Hannah. This shows the selfishness of those who feel the need to protect themselves by harming others.

6. Marcus - I haven’t seen much on Marcus honestly, but I dislike him immensely. He took advantage of Hannah because of the impression of her he had put together from rumours created by other reasons (Justin, Courtney) which is an expression of how men feel owed something from women, especially those who are seen as 'slutty’.

7. Zach - At first glance, Zach doesn’t seem too bad. At half a second glimpse, this changes. Hannah rejected him because he said something silly, a mistake, and if he had made an obvious effort to explain and apologise, he could have helped Hannah. Instead, he chooses to punish her by preventing her from receiving happiness from others. This is one of the clearest examples of how men can’t handle a woman’s right to say 'no’ and reject him…

8. Ryan - This tape is similar to that of Tyler in that he made her feel unsafe. What Tyler did was worse than Ryan, however the effect of Ryan’s actions had (in my opinion) worse consequences that Tyler’s. Ryan published her poem because he thought it was something that needed to be shared, a selfish and naive action (when considering the maturity of high school students), which meant that Hannah’s personal thoughts were no longer her own. She was not comfortable at school, home or in her own mind.

9. Clay - Though I agree when Hannah states that he shouldn’t have been on the tapes, Clay does represent 'everyone else’ who stands by and watched people like Hannah slowly fade and retreat into themselves because of the actions of others. The 'bystanders’ if you will, whose lack of part in our stories can be just as important as those who intrude on us.

10. Justin - It is evident in the series that Justin was extremely haunted by the rape at Jessica’s party and this is probably why he is gaining so much sympathy… this is also why I recommend you all READ THE BOOK. Justin stood by and watched his friend rape his girlfriend, why is he receiving more sympathy than I’ve seen for Jessica? Of course it was hard for Justin to witness that, but staying friends with Bryce and staying with Jessica without telling her is reason enough for him to be on the tapes again.

11. Jenny - Jenny was kind to Hannah, offering her a lift home, but she didn’t take responsibility for knocking down the stop sign which lead to someone’s DEATH. The guilt that Hannah was left with from this (because she was in the car) was understandably overwhelming, especially as the victim was a classmate who was blamed for drunk driving. Jenny is an example of how our reckless actions and lack of responsibility for them can destroy other lives; is that not the entire plot?

12. Bryce - Lord help you if you need an explaination.

13. Mr Porter - A perfect example of how there is not enough support out there for students (and people in general, honestly). The counsellor advising Hannah to 'move on’ after she confides in him that she was raped is one of the most haunting moments in the entire series, solidifying her reason for suicide- she had no comfort amongst her classmates, in her own home, in her mind and now, the specialist designated for dealing with situations like this bore no real interest in her problems and told her to 'move on’.

It’s extremely important for us when watching shows with topics like this to remember many things.

First, the show is not just this situation. Everything represents something more in society; each tape side is a problem in the world that leads to suicide, not only a small action by one character leading to Hannah Baker’s suicide. If you need help in understanding this, or want something else similar to this story, I recommend watching or reading 'An Inspector Calls’ by J.B. Priestly- a masterful piece tackling classism/sexism and how each person’s seemingly small actions lead to a girl’s suicide.

Second, memes are sometimes funny. The 'Clay every time he sees Tony’ memes are really funny, the 'fuck off, Courtney’ memes are funny, but the 'welcome to your tape over a slight inconvenience’ memes, they’re not. The show is raising awareness for the seriousness of suicide, not to create a fanbase of jokes about it. Promoting these after you watch the show, is a clear statement that you haven’t understood why it was made and is completely unacceptable.

Third, separate the character from the actor. Justin Prentice is NOT Bryce Walker, do not spam his comments with disgusting name calling or threatening- this is CLEARLY wrong and unnecessary. This also works the other way: Brandon Flynn is NOT Justin Foley. Just because Brandon is attractive and nice, doesn’t mean his character becomes as such.

Please don’t turn 13 reasons why into another generic element of pop culture. I love pop culture, don’t get me wrong, but we have a tendency to begin digging for meaning and giving up halfway; overusing the profound starting points of progress we find by loosely throwing them around, emptying them of all meaning.

anyways, BTS are LGBTQ+ legends and here are some reasons why:

Namjoon recommended Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - Same Love to us saying: ‘I heard this song before but I didn’t know the lyrics, now I know them and I like the song twice as much.’

Yoongi in Cypher Pt.2: ‘As you know, my voice will turn you on. Whether it’s a guy or girl, my tongue will make you come’

Yoongi’s answer to “What do you notice first when you look at girls?”: ‘I focus on personality and atmosphere. I don’t have an ideal type and it’s not limited to a girl.’

Some BTS members helped to write GLAM’s debut song “Party XXO” which I quote say:  “Are you a boy? Girl? I don’t care – passion is the key, a hot heart is your ID”

Jungkook and RM covered a Troye Sivan song that talks about homosexual love!

and so much more….

BTS never shied away to represent and speak out for the LGBTQ+ Community, wether they are gay or not themselves is not up to us to decide. Everyone has their own journey. BUT ITS UP TO US TO SUPPORT THEM NO MATTER WHAT! First and foremost we are here because the music speaks to us. And we love and support the boys because of their TALENT!

But you can’t tell anyone what to feel or how to love. Being gay isn’t a ‘so called sexuality’!!!! And you can’t stop telling LGBTQ+ people to not support their idols however they like!!!!

Heteronormativity is everywhere. Sad enough it’s the ‘norm’ that still too many people think is the right one. Love is Love. Isnt it sad enough that people in S. Korea and all around the world can’t feel comfortable in their own skin? Are afraid to come out and be their authentic self? Are afraid to show their feelings because they are afraid people will think the thoughts they have in their heads are too dark? That they are crazy? That they might burden people with their “problems”? (Oh yes I’m talking about mental disorders here!)

What is wrong with feeling comfort in the way that BTS is sharing their emotions with us? Whether it’s about depression, suicidal thoughts, being gay, just feeling like you are being oppressed by society, your own thoughts, your own family. 

Tell me - what is wrong with feeling like you are not alone? Like you finally feel like someone understands? That someone finally put it into words? 

All that you do by saying “Dont tell them they are gay, it would ‘hurt their feelings’” is that gay is an insult. Thats what you are saying. Nothing more. Nothing less. 

BTS wants us to challenge society, wants us to break through the walls that hold us back, make us suffer, that are keeping us from expressing who we really are inside. And those methaphorical walls can be different for each and everyone of us. Because we all have different stories…. but in the end we never walk alone.

accept yourself, love yourself, free yourself. 

I, myself identifiy as Bi. And my blog will always be a safe place for people!!! RT if you support!

Seeing as ‘Riverdale’ Jughead Jones is creating too much disagreement I decided to leave this here, hoping it would help you understand better what Asexuality really is and maybe lessen up this disappointment

Learn what it means to be asexual.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that means a person feels no sexual attraction to people of any gender. However, a person who identifies as asexual can still choose to have sex, can still love, can still be involved with a romantic partner or get married, and can still engage in normal relationships.

Asexuality doesn’t describe what a person chooses to do, but rather how a person feels. Asexual people have emotional needs, feel attraction to others, and can even feel arousal: they just don’t feel sexual attraction.

  • Many asexual people still identify as lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, or pansexual (attracted to people of any gender or sexual orientation) as well.
  • Asexuality is not the same as having a low libido, which can be caused by medical or health issues, nor is it the same as repressing one’s sexual desires.

Understand the asexuality umbrella.

As with any sexual orientation, the label asexual is a generalization that doesn’t explain or represent everyone who identifies that way. All humans are unique and individual, and sexual orientation exists on a spectrum of needs, desires, interests, and attractions. Think of asexuality as an umbrella term that describes people who identify as asexual, gray-asexual, and demisexual.

  • Gray-asexual means that a person experiences sexual attraction, but either not very often or only to a minimal extent.
  • Demisexual describes a person who only feels sexual attraction to people with whom a close emotional bond has been formed.

Differentiate asexuality from abstinence and celibacy.

Abstinence is the deliberate choice to refrain from sexual activity, while celibacy is the deliberate choice to refrain from sexual activity and marriage (or marriage-like relationships). These choices may be made for religious, philosophical, moral, or other reasons. Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, but not necessarily a lack of sexual appetite (libido). This means asexual people can be:

  • Abstinent or celibate.
  • Sexually active through masturbation.
  • Sexually active with partners.

Learn what asexuality isn’t. Asexuality is a sexual orientation that’s distinct from heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, and other orientations. However, asexuality also has nothing to do with biological sex, gender identity, or gender expression. And being asexual doesn’t mean you are aromantic, which means a person feels no romantic attraction to others.

Dating an Asexual Person

Recognize that there are different types of relationships.

Just as there are friendships, mother-daughter relationships, father-son relationships, and innumerable other types of platonic (non-sensual) relationships, so too are there many types of romantic relationships aside from just sexual romantic relationships. Dating an asexual person may open your eyes to new types of relationships, which could include:

  • Romantic non-sexual relationships, which often involve physical affection, cuddling, and commitment.
  • Aromantic non-sexual relationships, which involve a deep commitment to one another. While these relationships can include physical affection, there is no sexual or romantic element.

Communicate openly.

Regardless of the circumstances, dating is always about getting to know someone better, and dating someone who identifies as asexual is no different. The key to any relationship is free and open communication. It’s important to discuss personal boundaries early in any relationship, so that partners know what is acceptable, what’s unacceptable, and what is and isn’t expected of each other. If you are unsure of something, it’s always best to just ask!

  • It’s important not to be offended if someone you’re dating comes out to you as asexual. It’s not an excuse and it’s not an attempt to get out of the relationship. That person is just trying to be honest and open.

Understand that an asexual person can be intimate.

Asexual people often partake in romantic partnerships or relationships, but whether a person is open to physical or sexual intimacy depends on the individual. But dating doesn’t necessarily require physical or sexual interaction, and two people can develop a strong emotional or romantic relationship with or without a sexual element: intimacy is much more than just physical touching or sexual activity.

  • An asexual partner may or may not be open to sexual activity, so it’s important to communicate so that everyone involved is on the same page. Feeling sexual pleasure is different from feeling sexual attraction, and some asexual people can enjoy sex.
  • Conversely, some asexual people are not interested in sex at all, and will not be open to exploring a sexual relationship.

And to finish this, some myths:

Asexual people can’t fall in love.

Many asexuals can feel the full range of romantic emotions, from a slight crush to true love.  It’s just devoid of a sexual component.  Asexuals are not limited to platonic love, either.  When an ace feels love, it can be every bit as complex and deep as the romantic love that anyone else feels.

There is a concept of romantic (or affectional) orientation, which describes who a person is romantically attracted to.  Romantic orientation is separate from sexual orientation, although in many people, their romantic and sexual orientations do happen to coincide.  Common romantic orientations include heteroromantic (romantic attraction toward the opposite gender), homoromantic (romantic attraction toward the same gender), bi/panromantic (romantic attraction toward both/all genders), and aromantic (romantic attraction toward no gender).

Asexual people don’t/can’t have sex.

Most asexual people can have sex, and some of them do. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, not a lack of sexual ability.  Asexuals are physically and physiologically indistinguishable from other people, in other words, in most cases, the equipment is all there and in working order.  If an asexual person is incapable of having sex, it is usually due to some other condition, and not necessarily related to their asexuality.


So, I guess everyone has their own conclusions now as if Jughead can or can’t be in a relationship, can or can’t fall in love, can or can’t have sex. It’s pretty clear to all of us that this is different from the comics so as all the characters Jughead most likely won’t be exactly alike, that doesn’t mean Jughead is or is not asexual or won’t be in a near future.

I finished, hope it helped you.

THE PRETTY LITTLE LIARS ENDGAME

It is bittersweet that I present to you my last ever theory for Pretty Little Liars. I apologise in advance for the insane length, but this is covering all those frustrating loose ends across the entire series. I hope you can make it to the end so we can discuss. My only fear for this theory is that it is too daring and gutsy; it would re-define the show we thought we knew. Are the writers willing to ‘go there’ in just 10 episodes? I don’t know! Regardless if this is all right, partially right, or so damn wrong, I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did putting this together the past two months! For the last time before the show ends… I hope you enjoy!

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 before i say anything else about all my thoughts and feelings on 210…

I LOVE THAT NICOLE IS MARRIED

yes, it’s something to be talked about big time between wayhaught. yes, it’s a big ‘ol ugly secret. not technically a lie but sins of omission.. yeah yeah yeah it is what it is.

But seriously, this is something I have never witnessed be addressed in lgbt rep. It’s something I never expected to see. And it’s so personal to me.

Personal story time literally nobody asked for: I got married shortly after the repeal of DADT in Washington DC at the ripe old age of almost 20. I was young, dumb, and in the military. I was also extremely aware of the history, the battles that lead to small political victories. A lot of us were. And a lot of us did get married simply because we finally could. It was a huge deal then - not too fucking long ago.

Same thing but on a much larger scale throughout the US: after the US Supreme Court “ruled” on the federal legalization of gay marriage, a literal fuck ton of us got married just out of the sheer euphoria at the fact that we could. It was monumental for us to have this right. So, some of us (a lot of us) jumped straight (lol) for it.

Did that mean a lot of young people getting married before they were in anyway ready for marriage? yeah, big time. 

I am one of those people who is still technically married just because divorce takes time. It takes a ton of time, a decent amount of money, and a significant (excruciating) toll on a twenty-something-year-old’s heart and mind.  

So allow me, if you will, to paint you a picture. You’ve been watching the politics play out the entirety of your young adult life. You’ve got a girlfriend who you love. The battles so many generations before you have fought and died for have finally, slowly, painfully, been won. You partake in the victory not just for your life and your love, but in the name of those who have fought and died for this before you. The weight of this victory is not lost on you in the slightest. So you get married. A year (if that) later, it doesn’t work out. Like about half of all marriages, yours fails. But divorce is expensive. It’s approximately one trillion times harder to get divorced than it is to get married. So, a few years later, you’re still legally married. You’ve met the absolute love of your life, and you are still married. You still have a wife out there who you don’t talk to. You are not in each other’s lives, but you’ve got that title still.

That is my exact situation right now as I’m writing this. And I never thought I would see that issue on TV. It is a real issue in the LGBT (well let’s throw the blanket term “gay” on it as I’m talking about gay marriage in particular) community. A lot of us are in real, committed, loving relationships but we have actual spouses still. This is a real issue in so many of our lives. And idk if Emily meant to write this in because she is aware this issue effects a lot of us or not, but it’s amazing to me that I am seeing myself actually represented not just as a lesbian, but as a lesbian who rushed into a marriage.

If I went to the hospital right now at this moment in some near death situation, my actual wife would be called. My gf who I live with, have the happiest and best relationship I’ve ever been blessed with, and plan on marrying someday would most definitely be the one by my side, but my actual wife may show up. 

Now, my gf knows about my wife. She’s still my wife. I can’t call her my ex-wife yet. Not legally. I told my gf before we even started dating about my whole situation. Yeah we’re separated. Yeah, the only time we talk is about legal stuff. But the fact remains, I am a married woman.

Now, let me add something really emotional to this picture: divorce fucking sucks. When you go for a divorce, there are certain feelings that come along with it that never go away like fucking scars. You feel like a failure. You feel stupid. You feel unlovable and dirty and shameful and guilty and like you aren’t worth it. You suddenly can’t stand being around your own friends anymore because they’re married and having kids. Everything is a reminder that you failed somehow, even when you know it’s not your fault. No matter what the reason for the divorce was, you are shattered. All the love in the world from your soulmate you might find later on doesn’t totally banish those feelings. Some days, you don’t even think about it. Some days, it hits you like a sack of bricks that you weren’t worth keeping promises to. Divorce is by far the most painful experience I’ve had, and I’ve broken a lot of bones and been through my share of disowned by family, going to sleep starving shit.

So it is not crazy at all that Nicole, who fell fast and hard for a girl she did not expect in a million years to light up her life the way she did, hasn’t found the right way to bring this thing up. Wayhaught has been together how long at this point? A few months? I’m guesstimating 4 at most? I find it hard to feel any kind of mad at Nicole for not bringing this up yet. It sucks to talk about because it hurts to you, who went through the pain of a failed marriage, and you have to consider how to not hurt the other person who loves you now with the fact that you had a commitment to another person in the past. A serious, legal one. It’s a shit position to be in. It’s a nearly unwinnable situation. And it’s one that takes time to process for the other person. There is a fat chance this marriage that isn’t valid to you anymore turns off the other person because it speaks to your flaws from a time when you were young, dumb, and reckless, and promised somebody else your love. I don’t blame Nicole at all for not bringing it up yet. Maybe that’s because I know the feeling. Maybe because like, when has there been the time for such a big discussion?

Honestly, the reason I told my gf about being married when I did, the way I did, was because I was trying to keep her from liking me. When we first met, I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I had just gotten out of one literally days before we met at a concert. Then she starting hanging out at my place because my roommate was dating her friend. I knew she liked me, so I gave her all the dirt on me: I’m married, I drink, I’m a writer, I’m broke, I’m medicated, I have a bad leg, all the negative things. “I’m married” is not a good way to start a conversation. That will keep the ladies away, usually. I mean, ultimately in my life, it was good to have all the bad things in my past out in the air, and our relationship is like the funniest, best love story I’ve ever seen.

But let’s look at life in fucking Purgatory. All the times both Nicole and Waverly have been attacked, been nearly dead, maybe been actually dead, been possessed. They fight demons. Their lives aren’t normal, and they are always in danger. Bringing up a topic like legal marriage? As someone who is married and has been separated for years, there are days I don’t even think about or remember that I’m married anymore. It’s just not something that’s part of your life when you get caught up in school/work/puppy training/what have you. It’s not something on Nicole’s mind always, I can guarantee you that. And when she does think, oh maybe I should bring this up now, something insane like oh, my girlfriend’s possessed takes precedence. 

That was super long and unsolicited, but I think important. Nicole has always been an important character to me, but now exponentially more so because an issue has been addressed that does touch so many queer lives. I feel represented in a way I didn’t know I needed until I saw it tonight.

I want to say that I get why some people are mad about Nicole being married, but honestly, no. Sit down. Take a look at the community around you and real issues we deal with in our real lives. If you don’t want to see the hard part of our lives portrayed, what the hell are you talking about when you cry about wanting representation? If all you want to see women kissing and smiling, go watch porn. It’s just as realistic as this “representation” you say you want. You want positive representation, that is what we are getting in a way I feel so blessed to be witnessing. We have real characters in the media reflecting real struggles. We have a bisexual woman in a small town who is extremely apprehensive and makes rash decisions because she’s been through hell. We have a lesbian with a protector impulse which makes her prone to bad judgement calls but very good at her job, and she’s got a past that echos what so many of us lesbians living in the real world are going through. So, no, sincerely reexamine what it is you want these characters to be, because it’s not good representation. It’s fake. And it’s not doing anyone any favors. 

tl;dr: Nicole is the rep of my dreams. Learn some history. Fight me.

Can Conscious K-Pop Cross Over? BTS & BigHit Entertainment CEO ‘Hitman’ Bang on Taking America

On April 2, BTS played the fifth and final date of a sold-out U.S. arena run, performing to the shrieking fans who helped the group’s second full-length album, Wings, become the first K-pop project to crack the top 40 of the Billboard 200 in 2016. Since debuting in 2013, the seven-piece boy band has become a commercial behemoth in its native South Korea while continuing to make inroads within American pop culture. “Change,” an English-language hip-hop collaboration between BTS member Rap Monster and U.S. star Wale, was released three days before the kickoff of the stateside run.

“Change” touches on topics like voting rights and online harassment, while some of BTS’ biggest hits have addressed mental health. “Worldwide, our young generation shares the same issues socially and politically,” says BTS member Suga. Although K-pop music generally steers away from controversy, Rap Monster says that remaining outspoken “is important to us. And the bigger the voice we get, the more powerful our words become.”

A new BTS album is already underway and more U.S. dates might be on the way later this year. Bang Si Hyuk, the CEO and Executive Producer of label/management agency BigHit Entertainment who is better known as “Hitman” Bang, hints at “special features” designed for international listeners but thinks BTS will continue playing to its base.

“I’m not a believer in releasing full English songs to the U.S. market, like many K-pop artists have,” Bang tells Billboard in his first-ever interview with American press. “We must focus on what we do best as K-pop artists and producers and maybe add some special features to which international or U.S. music fans can feel attached. That is the best way for me to put K-pop into the mainstream U.S. music market and, in that regard, BTS will participate and perform in a way that is not much different from what they have been doing in the last three years. We’re adjusting and improving the way we do shows on the tour to meet the international or global level and expectations so that anyone, regardless of their culture and background, can enjoy BTS music and performances.”

Bang is sure to add that the group will be “very active and responsive in releasing new songs that would come out of collaborations with international artists, like 'Change.’” And, looking ahead, both the CEO and band see their most recent accomplishments as inspiration to achieve even more in the future.

“I’m so excited and thrilled at the response to the U.S. tour,” Bang says. “It’s still overwhelming and unbelievable at some point. I even further feel responsible for producing better music and production for fans around the world and I’d definitely think harder on what makes fans enthusiastic and passionate about BTS music and the band.” Meanwhile, the ambition within the group is perhaps best felt when member V winks that the group has “grander goals”; as if arena shows are just the beginning of what he and his band mates plan to accomplish around the world.

Below read on for an extended interview with BTS held before the tour kicked off. All member answers are taken via a translator except for Rap Monster.

With five arena shows, this tour is so huge and I think the main reason for that and why you guys are doing so well in America is because you sing about personal topics. Why is that so important to talk about in your music?

​Suga: Worldwide, our young generation shares the same issues socially and politically. I think that young people feel the same way about similar issues and BTS wants to cheer them up with our songs and talk about our feelings and social issues.

Rap Monster: These topics, like you said, they’re important, right? They should be told by someone. Someone should talk about it. And if someone should talk about it, then it feels like we have to talk about it. It’s very much an honor that we get power and attention from our fans them when we use our voices more. It’s important to us and the bigger the voice that we get, the more powerful that our words become.

These topics – loneliness, mental health, bullying – you don’t hear about in K-pop or even Korean culture much. Or, really, in American pop music either. Have you ever worried it might get a negative or opposite response?

​Suga: There are people who think negatively and there have been people who react negatively towards BTS’ music. But I think it’s way more important to make music with those issues because I think it’s important to encourage people to fight for those issues and, through the music, have a resolution for those issues. But I’m going to continue to talk about those issues through the music anyway. [Laughs]

Do you think K-pop needs to get more personal to gain a wider audience? Would you like to see that more in future?

Rap Monster: We still need some party songs, we still need some light love songs. I love to listen to them and feel the vibe from that. Everyone has their luggage and their shadows, but it’s up to everyone’s own [devices]. But we’re us. I think if we talk about it and if it gets more voice and attention, then maybe there are a lot of people in the world that accept us start to talk about those issues. I think that’s the change.

I thought “Spring Day” was a really big musical moment for you guys. Not only did it do really well on the charts, but this time you were showing a progression in thinking and a message of hope. The idea of recovering and winter moving to spring. Was that a conscious decision?

Rap Monster: It’s just like what you said, that was one step further. We’re always talking about the crises, the sorrows and youth’s feelings of getting lost. In many [television] programs, when we’d introduce our new album, I’d always talk about the word “recovery.” Like you said, it’s all about the recovery. Winter going to spring. The middle of the winter going to the spring. You got that.

​Suga: In addition to being what we are as BTS, we wanted to bring some changes and we actually wanted to evolve as a group. We wanted to show our many colors, but we still want to console others and give hope to others.

Something that was unique was all the solo songs on the Wings album. You’ve done mixtapes, but instead of full-fledged solo or unit releases, you got to show your different sides of yourselves. Why was that necessary?

Jin: The solo tracks were important because it was personal, an individual story and it was represented in the way that we are good at it. We worked a lot on each track and that’s why it was important to each of us.

Rap Monster: When I get questions about why is K-pop is so popular; I always tell them K-pop is like a great mix of music, videos, visuals, choreography, social media and real-life contents. Making the solo tracks on the album was quite a venture, but it’s connected to the concept. Like, when you watch the “I Need U” video, everyone has their own crises and characters. It’s kind of connected to our real personalities and characters, but the solo songs have their own characters and personalities. It’s all connected. It’s a mixture and that’s why people get interested in the concepts.

Speaking of solo songs, “Change” recently came out. Rap Monster, you and Wale are talking about different-but-similar issues when South Korea and America are both having interesting political times. Did you guys have a chance to discuss your different viewpoints?

Rap Monster: We didn’t have the time to get into it deeply, but I’m always watching the news about Trump and America; I always watch. When he first suggested a collaboration, I was like, “What should we do?” We could just do you know, a common hip-hop song, but I wanted to do a little more special. We have our political situation in Korea and the students are very angry. So, I think, if we talked about what’s going on, then we’ll have a real special collaboration. I think my guess was right and it became special.

Do you see or feel your influence among other groups in the industry?

​Jungkook: When we debuted back in 2013, we were influenced by our sunbaenim [Korean word for “senior”]. Over the years, as we watched other younger groups, we know they talk about us, they cover us and they follow us. I think they’re saying in interviews that they learned a lot from us and that makes us feel great. Being a sunbaenim, we want to be a good influence and be a better role model to other groups.

Last question, are you happy?

V: For now, we are very happy as we are, as a group, together. And I think we are happy because we are walking on the same path, walking the same direction. We wanted to get Daesang [Best of the Year award], but we have it already so our goal is to make great music, to share it with our fans.

Rap Monster: And a worldwide, stadium tour. That’s the goal.

V: We have grander goals.

© Jeff Benjamin @ Billboard

Lana Del Rey says Donald Trump helped shape her album ‘Lust For Life’ — and the world needs feminism more than ever.
The singer has returned to the world of music with her fourth studio album in five years.

By Jacqui Swift for The Sun (UK).

LANA DEL REY’s latest album glitters with an all-star cast.
On ‘Lust For Life,’ her most impressive album yet, Lana teams up with heavyweights such as The Weeknd, Stevie Nicks, Sean Ono Lennon and A$AP Rocky.

They are the first collaborations in her career so far, which spans five studio albums, including four in the past five years — an impressive work rate for the Los Angeles-based star.

Keep reading

GoT S07E03 Thoughts

And here we go again.

As always, these are my rambling nonsensical thoughts on the episode, but disclaimer, my stream lagged so i missed maybe 30 seconds to maybe a minute of the episode. Let’s begin. 

Jon and Tyrion’s conversations had to be some of my favourite scenes from this episode. That shared smile between them when Jon first lands on Dragonstone and they greet each other was so pure. There is potential for a great friendship between them. They both have an understanding for each other that they don’t share with anyone else. Jon as a bastard and Tyrion as a dwarf. This was evident in earlier seasons too, but more so now that they have both found their places in the world. They respect each other, but they’re fighting for very different causes (and for different reasons) and I wonder if this fledgling friendship will become a point of contention for them later in the story.

Anyway, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t say that one of my favourite scenes had to be Tyrion and Jon’s conversation about Sansa. What I loved about this scene was although it was fleeting, it still gave us Jonsa feels (if you’re inclined to read the scene this way anyhow). 

When Tyrion says, “does she miss me terribly?” Jon is very quiet and they let that silence play on long enough for it to be a significant marker in a conversation. Jon didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t an awkward silence; it was absolutely an annoyed, aggravated silence. And then what’s great is that Tyrion immediately went on the defensive and says that the marriage was never consummated. 

It’s a strange thing to say, especially when they were so friendly earlier. Wouldn’t it be safe to assume that if Jon had any suspicions that Tyrion had hurt/touched Sansa against her will that exchange would’ve gone very differently? There was clearly no need to mention it at all, but yet Tyrion did and Jon’s response was “I didn’t ask” in a clearly annoyed tone that suggested if this topic didn’t end soon someone was going to get choked out. Either Jon really hates the thought of Sansa with another man he turned into grumpy kitten Jon or he doesn’t want to think about his sister having sex at all. But bear with me here, if it’s the latter, why have this dialogue at all? There’s no narrative reasoning for this whatsoever unless Jonsa is a real possibility in the future and we’re supposed to continue to think about Jon, Sansa and ‘sex’ in the same line of thought.  

Okay, okay, admittedly my shipping goggles are on, but I still maintain the fact that it’s a weird piece of dialogue to have. If all they wanted to do was establish Sansa as a real political player, they could’ve cut that entire 2-3 lines out and just went straight into:

“She’s smarter than she lets on.”

“She’s starting to let on.”

And now that we’re onto the topic, I absolutely believe the mention of Sansa’s intelligence here serves two purposes. The first is to establish Sansa as a real political player here. She’s been underestimated by everyone in Westeros, but she’s far smarter than anyone gives her credit for (yes, even Jon).

In fact, jumping straight to Winterfell, you are given a whole scene of Sansa demonstrating that intelligence – not only in keeping everyone fed, but in keeping the soldiers protected. She understands what it takes to rule. But what I love about this sequence of scenes is Littlefinger praising her then going on to claim to know Cersei better than everyone and Sansa just shutting him down, saying she knows her better. Once again, we’re being forced to consider all that Sansa’s learned from Cersei. She just didn’t learn how to play the game but she learned Cersei herself. If anyone can outplay Cersei, we’re being led to believe it’s Sansa. 

Why I think this is important is how this episode also demonstrated that Cersei is once again one of the smartest and most devious rulers in Westeros. She completely outmaneuvered Tyrion, Daenerys and Olenna. People think her ‘madness’ from losing her children will make her weaker, but she’s still as shrewd as ever. She is very much Tywin’s daughter, but she’s much more ruthless. Tyrion may be smart, but thus far? He’s not as smart as his sister. 

But who is? 

Well, there’s a ‘queen’ in the North who is, and the more I think about it, the more I think this quote is actually referring to Sansa: 

“Aye. Queen you shall be… until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear.”

Because Cersei is right. Dany is a revolutionary, not a ruler. She can conquer and free slaves, but she doesn’t know how to rule. She’s not nearly as intelligent as Cersei in playing the Westerosi game, but Sansa is. She’s learned from the very best after all. Whether I’m wrong or right, I am convinced Sansa’s role in this war will be far greater than just ruling Winterfell in Jon’s stead. 

Its second purpose is basically to reaffirm Jon’s faith and trust in Sansa and her judgement. But what I found interesting is the way he says it is almost in an exasperated way, like he knows she is and she continues to “twist him in a way no one else can” because she’s too smart for her own good. But alas, the shipping goggles are on, so take that what you will. 

Now onto the big anticipated meeting. Honestly, I enjoyed Jon and Dany’s interactions. The juxtaposition of them as individuals and rulers were pronounced in the last episode, but they were even more glaringly so in this one. While Dany continues to talk about her rightful place and her indignation that he refuses to acknowledge what is hers, Jon continues to fight for his people and the war up North. I mean that’s just the thing, isn’t it? Every mention of Dany being this benevolent ruler who cares about the people doesn’t actually come from Dany. She doesn’t actually say she wants to save the people of Westeros. It’s always someone else because maybe, just maybe it’s not really her true purpose here in Westeros. Yes, I don’t believe she would be indifferent to the loss of innocent lives, but if it was the only way to get her to that throne, wouldn’t you think she’d do it? Wouldn’t Dany say ‘to hell with all of it’ and fly her dragons and burn everything in sight for that throne? If it was her only option, she would choose herself over the people. 

Hell, she even says it. After her speech about all she’s overcome, she says the only way she’s endured any of that was because of her faith in herself. While it’s a good speech if you take out the context, Dany’s survived and persevered this long because of her unwavering belief in her birthright, which was to rule on the Iron Throne. Everything else comes second to that. And I refuse to believe that the ultimate hero of the story is someone who believes themselves a hero and entitled to a kingdom. 

Whereas Jon was thrust into his position. He would choose the people over himself and that difference was emphasised by this quote they just had to repeat twice: 

“…took a knife in the heart for his people.”

Also, the fact that Jon cut Davos off before he could blab about Jon’s resurrection and Dany’s fixation on this feels highly foreboding. It’s definitely going to come back up, but in what way, I don’t know. 

Objectively speaking, I could see how Jon3rys could be hinted in this episode, as Jon and Dany come to understand each other, but personally, I believe it’s a tentative alliance at best that borders on an impasse rather than actual understanding. Right now, they can work because Dany has bigger fish to fry and Jon needs dragonglass. But when their objectives clash? What then? You could even see this opposition highlighted in the way they were filmed on that cliff. They’re standing together yet they’re facing opposite directions. They spend far more of that scene looking away from one another than looking eye to eye. Having their first one-on-one interaction being filmed in the light is also quite telling. The sun can be a symbolic source of goodness, but it can also be an oppressive force. Actually, it made me think of this quote from Albert Camus’ The Stranger: 

“The sky was already filled with light. The sun was beginning to bear down on the earth and it was getting hotter by the minute. I don’t know why we waited so long before getting under way. I was hot in my dark clothes […] it was inhuman and oppressive.“

Jon is a man of the North. His season is winter. I’ve said in previous metas that having Jon’s resurrection coincide with Winter’s arrival was symbolilc. Where usually in literature winter represents a time of stagnancy or even regression in the hero myth, for Jon, it represents rebirth and growth. Winter is a time for Starks. Having such sunlight bearing down on them in this scene (looking more like summer than winter) and Jon still wearing his furs seems to forewarn perhaps bad consequences with this alliance. 

For my Jonsa shippers, this is the exact opposite in how Jon and Sansa’s scenes are shot. They’re almost always in dimly lit areas or surrounded by candlelight, and snow is usually falling. Their reunion also coincided with Winter’s coming, so don’t despair if you are over Jon3rys meeting. 

Speaking of how scenes are shot, Sansa and Bran’s reunion couldn’t be more of a stark (ha ha) difference to Jon and Sansa’s. Yes, he was never going to run towards her, but she didn’t nuzzle him. I’ve always said the choice of having Sansa nuzzle Jon’s cheek was a bizarre one. It’s just odd. People don’t nuzzle their family members. But maybe she wasn’t in the nuzzling mood, fine. Go to the godswood scene though and there just seems to be such a distance between Sansa and Bran. I think that’s partially Bran being the Three-Eyed Raven as well because the distance was also entirely about who he is now as well.

Anyway, Clearly in the books Bran’s importance and power is more obvious, so they had to demonstrate somehow that Bran as the Three-Eyed Raven can see everything. But why does he bring up Sansa’s wedding? If they wanted to show off his power, they could have him bring anything else up, so why her wedding? Why bring up Ramsay at all? Shouldn’t Bran know better than that? Especially to tell her she looks beautiful that day after already implicitly saying he knows what Ramsay did to her. It feels unnecessarily cruel for Bran who, while seemingly distant, does love her. It has to serve a purpose for them to write that in. Perhaps foreshadowing a future wedding in the cards for Sansa? Perhaps a fake one to LF? Or maybe something further down the line where it’ll be the opposite of everything she had with Ramsay. No godswood, no beautiful white dress, no snow falling, but with someone she loves and who loves her. I don’t know but I’m just speculating here. 

Moving on to my favourite scene in the episode though: Cersei with Elaria. Honestly, Lena Heady is a phenomenal actress. Everyone is so focused on Cersei being this horrible evil villain, but you forget the real nuances to her character. When she asks Elaria why she killed Myrcella, it was delivered in such a vulnerable tone. You really, truly get a glimpse of the heartbroken, grieving mother who just tried to do her best for her children (whether that best was actually good or not), but then immediately after, you get the vindictive, cunning and formidable Cersei as she kisses Elaria’s daughter. It was amazing. Horrible but amazing. 

Second favourite scene had to be Olenna’s. What is there to say? She is the Dowager Queen of Badass Bitchery and Snarky Comebacks. Give me a great, complex female villain any day! I wouldn’t even call Olenna a villain tbh. But what I mean is I would 150% take morally grey or morally corrupt female characters over your atypical one-dimensional girl-next-door ones any day, week or month.  

Stray thoughts that I don’t have time/energy to write about:

Did anyone else get flirty vibes between Tyrion and Dany? 

And does anyone think Jorah’s “perhaps our paths will cross again” sound entirely too foreboding for Sam?

Harry Fake Dates Kendall but is in Love With You

A/n: This is an updated version of an imagine I’ve previously uploaded. I know Hendall is so 2015. I get it.

Masterlist linked in bio.


The red wine leaves a particular stain on Harry’s lips that he hadn’t noticed until Kendall pointed it out to him.

“It looks like you’re wearing lipstick” she laughs, “I didn’t know you were going to dress up this much for the party.”

They are currently sat at his mum’s kitchen island, drinking red wine while munching on some chips left out for the guests. The house is filled with familiar faces, friends and family all throughout London coming together for Anne’s birthday celebration.

They hosted one every year for as long as Harry could remember, a time of year where nearly every one of his family members, including his step family, would unite. It was their favorite time of year, believe it or not. Despite all the excitement for the holidays, Anne’s birthday celebration was certainly something special.

It was Kendall’s first time attending, considering the fact that Harry had only really talked to her whenever he was assigned to be with her for publicity. It wasn’t always ideal, however, he built a stable friendship with her, so he didn’t mind the extra company with him from time to time.

She was invited last minute, of course, since his management called last night to ask if there was any way for them to be seen together. With Harry’s new movie coming out and his solo album just released a couple weeks ago, it was almost a given for him to be rumored with a girlfriend. That’s how it’s worked all throughout his career.

He normally wouldn’t have minded, however, this was the worst possible date for him to be with Kendall.

Because it’s Anne’s birthday party, this means that it’ll be the first time in one year that he’ll be seeing Y/n. They have been best friends since they were five years old, basically growing up in the same house as they went through school together. But as time went on, and as they both went to their separate ways, it was hard to keep in touch with each other all the time.

She remained in the small towns of London while Harry was traveling world wide, where his name became known everywhere as Y/n’s was only known through people she attended school with. Of course, they still talked, considering they both admitted to having more than friendship feelings, but their lives were busy in their own ways, preventing them from being more than what they wanted to be.

For the past couple months, Harry planned that this would be the day he’d finally move forward with Y/n. Or, at least attempt to. With the loss of her over the past year, it made Harry realize just how much he couldn’t imagine a life without her. It had been so long—too long, and he couldn’t stand how long he’s lived without keeping in touch with her.

But now, everything he planned for the two of them is becoming impossible. He can’t begin to imagine how Y/n would feel knowing he brought Kendall to his mum’s birthday party after they both confessed their love for each other. In all honesty, he wouldn’t blame her for giving up on him. He keeps doing this to her, even if it’s unintentional.

He watches around the kitchen at the guests he hasn’t seen in quite a while. His leg bounces with impatience when each new person walking in to attend the party isn’t Y/n. It’s been nearly an hour and has never been so late to anything before.

And as horrible as it sounds, he almost wishes she doesn’t come, just so that she can avoid the heartbreak that will come when she reunites with Kendall again.

“I’m sorry I’m late!”

Harry’s head whips around when he hears the voice he’s been deprived of for the past year. The first thing he notices are her lips, and the way they move around her words so softly. They’re slightly glazed with a lipgloss, painting her lips with a rosy shade of pink. They look so much fuller to him now, but he knows not a trace of them are artificial.  

His eyes only drift from the shape of her lips when her fingers reach to tuck loose pieces of hair behind her ear. It’s then he notices just how much shorter her hair has gotten. What was once so long and lank is now falling just above the shoulder, set in luscious curls he can only imagine twisting around his fingers.

His jaw goes slack when he sees the pale pink dress she’s wearing. It’s made from silk, the metallic fabric glowing with each step she takes. He gulps when he notices just how much the dress accentuates the curvature of her body and how much of her legs are put on display for him to see, and he can’t help but to wipe the sweat off his palms when he watches her greet his mother with a proper kiss on the cheek.

He notices that his eyes haven’t shut since he’s seen her, but he’s so completely intrigued by how much has changed in her. Something about her seems so much more real—so much more vibrant—and he can’t seem to stop himself from praising how time has done her so goddamn well.

“You never told me she was going to be here.“

His body jerks at Kendall’s sudden appearance, her body slowly occupying the seat next to his at the kitchen island. If it wasn’t for her, he swears he would have caught himself drooling.

“Didn’t think I had to,” he says with a shrug, “she’s been my best friend since we were five. She’s basically apart of this family, she wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”

Y/n hasn’t missed a single one of Anne’s birthday celebrations since she’s known Harry. Their bond is irreplaceable—so irreplaceable, in fact, that Anne has been convinced Y/n is a miracle for their family. She was there for them through all the troubled times; helping them through their hardships and family instabilities.

When Anne and her husband first got divorced, Harry and Y/n were seven. Harry didn’t understand much of what was happening, all he knew was that his mum and dad weren’t going to love each other anymore. He was hurting, even when Gemma was there to try and keep him together. He started to believe everything between his parents was a lie.

She understood the whole separation process. Her mum left her at a young age, leaving her alone with her father. They were close, of course, but she always missed having a mother figure in her life. It made her upset to know she could only listen to one voice in the house, but as she grew older, she accepted it more.

By the time she met Harry, he kept bringing her over to his house as the years went on. Anne was the closest she had to mother, and their bond became unbreakable by the time Y/n was a teenager. Nearly seven years of Y/n being like another member of the family, Y/n started buying Anne Mother’s Day cards.

So when Y/n watched her second family fall apart, along with Anne’s heart, and she was determined to patch them back together again. Even at her young age, she’d pick flowers from her garden and give them to Anne everyday after school. Y/n said they represented her, and how she felt being a woman with such love and beauty could die all too quickly. Harry never understood what it meant, but Y/n did, which is why she never stopped until she heard Anne laughing again.

She also started to draw pictures and write her letters, reminding her of how loved she was by everyone. As much as Anne was heartbroken during the time, she took the letters everywhere she went and kept every flower alive for as long as she possibly could. Anne would always tell Harry “That girl came into our lives for a reason, my love. She’s a special one, our little miracle, never let her go. You hear me?”

Harry didn’t understand what it truly meant to let someone go, but he did his best to do anything but that. And now, as Harry sits on his mother’s kitchen island and seeing Y/n for the first time in a year, he feels he’s done just that.

“Guess not.” Kendall mutters, taking her last sip of the red wine left in her glass. “She’s just so strange, I guess. I can barely hold a conversation with her without her making an excuse to leave.”

Kendall and Y/n never really got along, it was extremely noticeable to everyone who held a conversation with the both of them. They just don’t see things in the same light. Y/n is very outgoing and lively; an extreme extrovert that seeks adventure—and Kendall can’t stand it. She thinks Y/n does it for attention, especially because she’s remained a small town girl while being surrounded by well-known celebrities. And even though it may seem like Y/n likes the attention, that’s not her purpose. She gives all her attention to others, never to herself, and it has always been something Harry loved the most.

And when it comes to Y/n, Kendall was that one thing that was constantly in her way of Harry. No matter how many times Harry and Y/n discussed how there was something between them, Kendall always found her way back to haunt her. She was her worst goddamn nightmare. She was perfect for Harry in the public eye, and nothing made Y/n feel worse than knowing she’ll never be her type of perfect, especially when it came to Harry.

But Kendall doesn’t know that. All she knows is that Y/n is extremely stand-offish with her, and she’ll never understand why.

“She’s not used to our lives. It’s extremely difficult for her to understand how we live, you know? She’s normal.”

Kendall scoffs, eyes rolling around the room because she hates that word. She feels so divided, like she’s in a categorization in society and everything about it makes her teeth clench.

“We’re normal, too, you know. I don’t understand why she feels so intimated and feels like she has something to prove.”

Harry’s jaw clenches slightly at the negative connotes Kendall has about Y/n’s life. Something about it makes his stomach twist the wrong way, and he can’t help the underlying growl in between his words.

“We’re not normal. Deep down, you and I both know that. You also don’t know Y/n, so stop making irrational assumptions about her.”

Kendall narrows her eyes at Harry, a gaze full of confusion and disbelief at the undeniable grumble in his tone. Any rational conversation they have about Y/n always end the same—with Harry quick to end the discussion and jump to her defense. It’s times like these Kendall never understood the true extent of Harry and Y/n’s relationship. They always claimed it was platonic but there has always been a sense of something stronger in them, like unaddressed or unchased feelings, or a past they shared that was kept between the two.

Either way, it annoyed the shit out of Kendall because they both were hiding something that she’ll never be able to get answered.

“Fine, whatever.” She sighs dramatically, scooting her chair back until she has room to stand properly. “Want some more wine? Getting some.”

Harry slides his empty wine glass so that it’s in front of her, muttering a small “yeah, thanks” before she’s on her way to the counter across the room, retrieving extra wine and mingling with some of Harry’s family.

Harry sighs while his head rests at the palm of his hand, eyes gazing directly to where Y/n is standing. His lips tug up lightly when he hears her laugh from the living room, his tongue running over his bottom lip ever so slightly as he watches her mouth lift and her eyes squint shut as she catches up with one of his uncles about his grand annual weekend fishing trip.

And as his eyes stay so transfixed on the woman in the other room, he can’t help but imagine seeing that type of perfection every day for the rest of his life.

“And everyone thinks Sweet Creature is about me..”

Harry’s head snaps to Gemma’s figure leaning over the edge of the island, her elbows hitched on the counter as a small smirk plays on her lips. She found it abnormally amusing how he didn’t even acknowledge her presence until she spoke, too invested in hawking over Y/n’s every move.

Harry grumbles, but the smile from Y/n’s laughter is permanent on his lips when he does so. Gemma even notices his cheeks brighten with pink, another hint of confirmation to the words she spoke.

“Shut up, Gem.“

She puts her arms up defensively, “Hey, don’t take it out on me. I’m just making an observation.”

Harry rolls his eyes as Gemma wraps her arm around his neck, hunching over so that her lips are close to his ear and eyes are directed toward Y/n again.

“She has gotten hotter, hasn’t she?”

She has no idea. All Harry can think about is how someone already so beautiful has grown to be so perfect. Everything about her makes Harry want to get down on his knees and worship every inch of her body. He has to bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself from thinking how much of a wreck he wants to make out of her.

“I don’t know how she did it. You better get her while you still have the chance, I know many, many men who want a taste of her.”

No is the first thing Harry thinks when the words leave from Gemma’s mouth. As hypocritical and selfish as it is, knowing other men have shown an interest in her makes his skin crawl. And he can’t help but feel his throat tighten at the moment Y/n realizes he had brought Kendall to this party.

“Is she—“ he can’t even finish his sentence without his jaw tightening again, hindering the rest of his question from leaving his lips.

“Oh, quit your worrying, H. She’s single, I don’t think she’d ever date someone who isn’t you. Besides, I don’t think you can do much about it with Kendall here.”

Gemma lifts a finger to where Kendall is standing, still in the same spot as she talks to his aunt Leslie. His heart hurts knowing what Y/n will feel when she finds out. He knows that there is always a part of her that feels discouraged whenever there’s a new woman in his life. In between Harry and Y/n’s love for each other was a mix of false hopes and miscommunication, and it always fucked them up whenever anything else was put in their way.

Gemma pats his shoulder before making rounds to her family and friends again, leaving Harry slumped against the counter with not a drop of wine to numb his scrambling mind.

When Y/n finishes catching up with the rest of Harry’s family, she finds that her patience is wearing thin. It’s been a year since she’s seen the love of her life, and knowing that he’s somewhere near her is enough to get her heart racing.

When she sees him sitting alone at the kitchen island, wearing his infamous pink suit and staring down at his fingers, it’s as if her body starts to malfunction. Her legs stop moving and her lips part, eyes glistening with admiration as she sees him for the first time in so long.

He’s as beautiful as ever, his new haircut accentuating his facial structure. His lips seem so much more red, too, which are complimented greatly by that goddamn suit. Everything about him radiates, like he’s developed into a whole other person. She’ll never quite grasp the idea that she’s about to reunite with him; something about it makes her palms sweat.

“Hey, stranger.”

Harry lifts his head up to look at her in all her glory. His heart warms at her presence more than the wine did, and he can’t help but to take a breath of relief when he finally hears her voice again.

“Y/n.” He breathes out, his fingers instinctively reaching up to the ends of her cut hair.

He chokes out a laugh of admiration when he sees her this close to him. She is so much different—so much more perfect than he ever remembers her being and it takes his breath away.

His fingers twist her hair, wrapping them around the digits before letting the strands fall back in place again. He never saw her without her hair down to her waist, and now that he has, he never wants to see her hair past her shoulders again.

“It’s so beautiful” he whispers, “you look so beautiful like this, Y/n. I absolutely love it.”

She blushes, her chin tucking slightly into her neck as if trying to hide how much of a reaction he got out of her. No matter how many years she’s known him, she was never used to the way he spoke to her.

“It was spontaneous. Really wanted a change, and it looks like I’m not the only one.”

Her hands reach to his hair, which is so much shorter compared to the last time she saw him. She remembered she couldn’t keep her hands out of it last year, constantly finding ways to tangle her fingers at the ends. Harry found it hysterical, actually, and thought it was the cutest thing she’s ever done.

“It’s just so soft” she’d say, “it’s like a whole other world in there!”

But now her only option is to tangle her fingers at the roots, and as she does so, her mind drifts to all the other occasions she could have her hands in his hair again.

“It’s so much shorter. Look at that! I can barely tug on it anymore!” She laughs in amusement, her fingers slipping as she pulls too hard.

He smirks up at her, a giggle falling from his lips as he watches her utterly amused reaction. They begin to catch up with the part of their lives they both have missed. Harry talked about his album while Y/n started discussing her new journalism job.

Talking to Y/n is one of the only normal parts of him left, it always gave him a sense of grounding whenever he felt his career was taking off to heights he wasn’t ready for. She is one of the only sense of normality he has left in his life, and it’s another reason as to why he admires her so dearly. She brought out parts of him nobody else could reach, and it’s another reason why he feels so upset he’s barely talked to her.

“Y/n?” he asks hesitantly, reaching his hand over so that his fingertips graze her hand.

Her breath breaks when he touches her, the softness in his voice proving that what is about to be discussed is far more important than their previous conversation. She notices the stress lines in between his forehead and the parting of his wine stained lips when he begins to speak. 

“I’m so sorry I haven’t kept in touch with you. I know how it makes me look, especially after everything that happened between us. With the new album and everything, I’ve just been so busy with—“

“Kendall?”

Harry’s head jumps to where Y/n stares dumbfounded, Kendall holding two glasses of wine in one hand while the other is carrying a plate of chicken wings. She’s looking down at Y/n, too, her eyebrows lifted up in an intimidating manner. There’s a scowl present on her lips as she continues to tower over her.

Y/n feels tears building in her eyes as she takes in the situation at hand. She was so fucking dumb to think that Harry was going to come to Anne’s party alone, especially since his new album just released. This is Kendall’s prime time appearance, when Harry needs a familiar famous face beside him to advertise his solo career.

This isn’t anything new—this isn’t anything unfamiliar, but the pain feels like a fresh wound to her heart. Harry and Y/n are nearly 24, with having known each other and felt something for each other for years, she thought that if anything were going to happen, it was going to happen now. But everything between them has remained stagnant for so long that the last sliver of hope she had for their potential relationship has been completely taken away from her. By Kendall, again.

“W—Wow, I’m sorry. I didn’t—I didn’t know Harry had invited you.”

“Yeah,” Kendall nods, “he invited me last night.”

Last night.

Y/n’s lips purse together, nodding her head as her eyes drift around the kitchen. Anything to avoid Kendall’s eyes—anything to feel as unimportant as she does now.

Harry’s eyes squeeze shut, a small hissing releasing from his tongue at how wrong it all sounds, considering absolutely nothing happened between Harry and Kendall the previous night besides being demanded that the two of them are to be seen together again.

“Right,” Y/n’s voice cracks, “well, I’m sorry to interrupt your time together. I’m going to go to Gemma’s room, got a phone call from my dad a while ago so I should go check up on him. I’ll see you guys around.”

She musters up a pathetic smile before practically running away from them. After everything they both told each other, after all the feelings they’ve had toward each other, how could Harry keep doing this to her? How could he keep being with Kendall when he says he loves Y/n?

She doesn’t even find the strength in her to hold in her tears before she approaches the steps, not daring to look back at them again. She never wants to see them in the same room again, it’ll be too much her heart can handle. 

“You’ve really got to be fucking kidding me, Kendall.” Harry growls.

His hands fist around the wine glass, his knuckles turning white and he’s absolutely shocked it hasn’t shattered into pieces in his hands from all the anger pulsing through his veins.

Jesus, Harry, neither one of you can take a joke. Does she not understand that all of this is for the press? She keeps acting like we’re a couple.”

“Could you really blame her after that? ‘He invited me last night,’ you’re really getting a kick out of making her uncomfortable, aren’t you?”

He grumbles as he takes a long sip of his wine, hoping that the alcohol loosens his muscles enough to restrain himself from doing anything he regrets. He loves his mum too much to start an argument during her birthday party, and as much as Kendall’s shifting Harry’s mood, he still appreciates her as a friend to ruin anything.

“That wasn’t even my fault, you both dug into that way too deep. Last night does not mean while we were fucking. It’s a time of day.”

“It’s the way you said it.”

“Are you being serious, Harry?”

He slams his glass down on the island, grumbling under his breath while he stands up from his chair. No matter how much anger is in him now, the only thoughts swirling in his brain are wondering if Y/n’s okay. She would have never left the party to go into a secluded room, not even if her dad called her.

“You leave her the fuck alone, Kendall. I mean it.”

He storms away from her, desperate to find Y/n because God only knows what’s really happening in that bedroom. Y/n’s emotions and feelings are always positive, always so bright, and he refuses to be the reason they turn upside down. She doesn’t deserve all he keeps doing to her, she doesn’t deserve him.

When Harry nearly swings himself onto the first step, he can already hear the soft murmur of Y/n’s and Anne’s voice, which makes him stop from approaching them any more than he has already.

“Y/n? Y/n, darling?” Anne asks with worry when she sees Y/n climbing up the top step with tears in her eyes, soft cries falling from her throat as her hand attempts to silence them.

She reaches an arm out for her, tugging at the front of Y/n’s dress slightly to get her attention. She’s grateful it was Anne who found her this way instead of any other guest at the party, considering nobody besides her and Harry have seen her with a frown on her face.

“Y/n, baby, what’s going on with you?”

The lights are off in the hallway, with no guests permitted in the area, which gives Y/n the proper time to fully allow her tears to fall down her cheeks.

“I’m so s—sorry, Anne.” Y/n cries.

Anne’s hands rub her shoulders, reassuring her that there’s absolutely nothing for her to apologize for. It also lets her know that she’s willing to listen to her, no matter where or when—she’ll always be there.

“I’m almost 24, Anne, and I’ve put so much of my life on hold for him.”

She knows instantly who Y/n’s talking about. It wasn’t difficult to notice the undying connection between Y/n and her son, especially as the years went on. They have grown so strongly together, there has never been a doubt in Anne’s mind that Y/n is going to be the girl Harry ends up marrying. Everyone in the family called it a destiny waiting to happen, but it has been so long since anything has happened between them, and Anne can’t help but feel heartbroken to know Y/n’s carrying the wrong idea about him and Kendall.

“And I’ve sacrificed so m—much to continue waiting for him, but I don’t think I can keep doing this anymore. We’re nowhere near where we should be, especially when he keeps spending time with Kendall and I just—I just don’t know if I can—“

“Oh, my darling.” Anne sighs, cradling Y/n’s head against her shoulder as she rubs down her back.

She shushes her through her tears, rocking her slightly in an attempt to calm her from her cries. It’s extremely rare for Y/n to feel upset, so when she does so, Anne knows she deserves all the comfort and love she can get.

“I know you so well, and I know my son. I always knew you were a match made in heaven, my dear. I knew from the start you were more than just an ordinary girl. You’re so special, to everyone in our family, but especially to him. He may not have his head screwed on right most of the time, but if I can promise you anything with all my heart, it’s that he loves you. Please, no matter what, never forget that.”

Y/n nods against her shoulder, thanking her through her violent cries before Anne insists she takes some time to herself. And as much as Y/n wanted to refrain from going into Harry’s bedroom, it’ll be the only place that brings her a sense of comfort.

Harry already knows he’s in for a lecture the second he sees his mum coming down the stairs with bewildered eyes. She grips his shoulders, her face tight with frustration.

“Mum—“

“You go over to her and you be the man I taught you to be, Harry.”

Harry’s eyes widen at her words, swallowing thickly at the thought of disappointing another person in his life.

“She loves you and you love her. Stop doing favors for other people and start thinking about you before you ruin both of your lives forever. You hear me?”

Harry nods feverishly, determined and more motivated than ever to fix all that he’s caused. Love comes first, always, and he needs to remember that before he breaks Y/n’s heart completely.

She’s it. She’s all that matters to him.

He barely responds to Anne before he’s racing to his old bedroom, completely clueless as to what he’s going to say, but willing to do anything to get her back.

“Y/n?” Harry calls through the door of his old bedroom. “Y/n, can I come in?” 

He knocks on the door lightly, just using the knuckles of his pointer and middle finger. He hears her feet pad over to the door, opening it to reveal her tear stained cheeks. Her hands are trembling against the knob, her breath broken with soft, gentle cries. Her eyes are widened with sadness, wet and red from tears she barely ever cries.

“Y/n.” He whimpers, tentatively reaching his shaking fingers up to her cheeks. He wipes away the tears from the bottoms of her eyes, sighing upsettingly as her eyes close at his touch. “Never seen you like this. Please talk to me.”

Her lips quiver as another sob rips through her, her hand reaching up to capture his between her fingers. Her saddened and wet eyes looking down at the intertwined hands now resting against her lap.

“I’m so tired, H.” She whimpers, “So tired.”

His lips press against her forehead, “I know, love. I know.”

She wraps her arms around him, her face burying in between his chest as he lets her tears soak in his undershirt.

“I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought I’d finally be alone with you after all this time. I missed being close to you, I wanted to be closer to you and I thought you felt the same about me and I didn’t understand, Harry, I didn’t get it and—“


“Hey, relax for me.” Harry mumbles, his lips grazing tenderly along her cheek.

She takes a deep breath, her fingers fisting the back of his suit tighter in her fists. She rests her chin on the top of his chest, tears still roaming down her face as she lets out an exasperated sigh. Her fingertips trace patterns on his back, her eyes fluttering closed as he pushes some of her hair off of her face, refraining them from sticking to her wet cheeks.

“I didn’t get it,” she whispers, “I was so confused, and when you didn’t answer my calls or texts I thought you didn’t find me important. And I was under no right to be upset about it, because you’re busy and you have priorities. But when I saw you today, I didn’t see you as the Harry I always have, I still can’t tell you what I saw but I wanted every part of you more than I ever have before. But when I saw Kendall I—“

Her cries and words die down when she feels Harry’s tender lips against hers. She’s taken aback at first, and before she has any time to really kiss him back, he’s already pulled away.

“Let me fix this.” He breathes out, “let show you that I only want you.”

His lips press against the side of her mouth, not allowing himself to kiss her the way he wants to until she lets him. They then begin to travel down her neck, along her jaw, around her mouth.

Y/n’s breath is stiff as he does so, embracing the feeling of his mouth against her skin. They’ve only ever kissed a handful of times, none of them being passionate or loving. They’ve shared pecks while saying goodbyes or after confessing their feelings, but none quite like this—none quite like the one anticipating to happen.

His breathing his hard when he continues to kiss along her skin, his fingers moving longly in her hair the more his mouth presses against her.

“Will you let me?” He whispers when his lips are ghosting over hers, “this okay?”

She nods feverishly, hitting the point of desperation when she feels his breath fan over the skin of her face. She’s been needing this for far too long now.

“Yes, please.

His thumb runs over her bottom lip one, two, three times before he finally leans in. Their lips mush together passionately, only breaking apart to move their position before locking again. Their tongues meet in the middle, making the both of them moan at the unfamiliar spark coursing through their veins.

Harry walks toward his bed until Y/n’s knees hit the edge of it, making her back meet the mattress. Their lips haven’t detached once, not daring to break away from the feeling they’ve both been deprived of.

They’re both making out on Harry’s childhood bed, grinding onto each other half naked like two hormonal teenagers. Their clothes thrown across the room, lips swollen from all the suction and nibbling, and hair completely knotted from either of their fingertips, the party below them long forgotten.

“Wait, wait wait wait!” Y/n gasps, lifting herself off of his chest.

Harry’s chest rises and falls rapidly, trying to catch his breath as he looks up at Y/n in confusion. He watches as a smirk lifts from her lips as she peers down at his flushed face, giggling slightly at his complete fucked out appearance.

She notices that his lips remained stained from the red wine—a little faded—but still making her body weak at the sight of it.

“’s the matter?” He croaks.

His voice is thick—an entirely different level of raspy, and Y/n wonders how she’s lived so long without hearing him speak in that way. Between all the kissing, all the touching, all the moaning, his voice has a particular roughness to it that Y/n could feed off of if she had to.

“We shouldn’t do this, right? I mean, we’re about to fuck during your mum’s birthday party. Your entire family and Kendall are downstairs, anybody could walk in at any second, or hear us, and your mum could find that so disrespectful and—“

Her rambling is interrupted by his lips, meeting hers passionately between her words.

There is no way in hell he’s leaving this room tonight. Everything that’s been stagnant between them is finally moving in the right direction, and he can’t find it anywhere in him to walk away from it.

“You think I’m letting you go now?” He whispers, his thumb running along her bottom lip. “I have been waiting for this moment with you since high school, sweetheart.”

His lips reattach to her neck, sucking on spots he hasn’t already left marks on, soaking up every bit of the time he has with her before it’s over. This is the first time they’re going to make love, and he wants to feel and remember every bit of this moment.

“B—But your mum—“ She moans, her fingers nearly tangling at the ends of his hair as she hisses in pleasure from his tongue.

“Every single person downstairs knows about us. This—this happening right now, has been expected to happen since I first brought you home. I guarantee you, nothing will make her more happy than knowing her son and his future wife are finally acting on our feelings instead of pushing them to the side again.”

His words make Y/n blush like no other; her cheeks turning the shade of pink on her dress she wore previously. It’s then he notices just hot fucking pretty she is in pink, how every tint of the color compliments her in ways he can barely wrap his head around.

“Future wife, hm?” She smirks, tapping the pads of her fingers against his bare collarbones.

He kisses her again.

“Thought you knew that, love. Wouldn’t know a single soul I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.” His fingers dig into her hips, “’s always been you.“

Y/n pushes Harry’s back against the mattress again, trailing her fingers down his torso. She giggles when his teeth clench at her touch, finding it almost irresistible to embrace the way he responds to her touch so easily.

“Trust me, I always knew.”

My personal way of separating the types

SUBMITTED by Steve

Since the MBTI system has been in place, there’s been the unavoidable “classifications” of the 16 types. The most widely accepted one is the temperaments (NT, NF, SJ, SP) It works, but definitely has its flaws. Like, do ISTJs and ESFJs really have THAT much in common other than being law-abiding citizens guided by stability? If so, then why aren’t INTJs and ENFJs pitted in the same category? My favorite personal way is the “Pi/Pe/Je/Ji-Dom’’ system. I find that the personality types within these groups tend to operate on a day to day basis more similarly and display more similar behavior. For those who never heard of it, it goes something like this: Perceiving dominants (IxxJ, ExxJ, IxxP, ExxP). The judgment functions then become secondary (Thinking and feeling). So I thought I would summarize them each with their own nifty little title. Disclaimer: This is just my opinion, not gospel, so go ahead and criticize.

Pi-Doms (ISTJ, ISFJ, INTJ, INFJ): The soldiers

-Pi-Doms’ name of their game is ’‘stability”. Their Dominant function absorbs information subjectively and constantly wonders what is the safest route to make it through this life. ISxJs will use their personal experience and compare it when faced with anything new, INxJs will analyze what is beneath the surface of what they are seeing and set their sails for the best path accordingly.

- Their auxiliary function becomes their tool in making their way into this world. IxFJs will tap into the social atmosphere and easily fit in society, even helping their fellow men. While IxTJs will look at the world wondering what is objectively the best course of action in making things happen. 

- Their tertiary function is how they make their personal judgement of things. IxFJs will analyze what makes sense to them objectively, while IxTJ will ponder about their inner motivation and what personally matters to them.

-Their inferior function is a danger zone where they feel everything will spiral downward really fast if they tap into it. ISxJs worry that every new event will lead to disaster and have a hard time dealing with the unexpected, whereas INxJs find the real, immediate sensory world to be somewhat unreliable and dangerous.

Pe-Doms (ESFP, ESTP, ENFP, ENTP): The livewires

-Simply put, Pe-Doms are like letting a kid loose at the zoo, amusement park or toy store and telling them they have “carte blanche” for 24 hours. So of course they will try to squeeze in everything they can during that time period, metaphorically pulling on every lever in sight to see what will happen. 

- Their auxiliary function serves as judgement to decide what they put priority in; emotional matters (ESFP, ENFP) or technical matters (ESTP, ENTP).

- Their tertiary function helps them not to get too carried away with things. ESFPs and ENFPs will wonder what is the best logical course of action (Te) while ESTPs and ENTPs will remind themselves that they belong to a social system and other people matter.

- Their inferior function is like a parent nagging at them, in other words, it breaks their fun. For ENTPs and ENFPs Si is like Mom reminding you to take your sweater outside because it’s cold, even if you don’t want to. While ESTPs and ESFPs, have their Ni dads reminding them to check both sides of the street before crossing it. 

Je-Doms (ESTJ, ESFJ, ENTJ, ENFJ):The leaders

- Je-Doms’ first priority is organization, whether it be people or things. They thus, “attack” the world aggressively which can make them overbearing at times, but in reality they are the pillars of this society. They all evaluate what needs to be done effortlessly and make it happen.

- Their auxiliary function serves as to what route they want to make this happen with ESTJs and ESFJs preferring their personal experience and what has been known to work, whereas ENTJs and ENFJs prefer to focus on the unknown and forge a path to safety. 

- Their tertiary function is better known as the “fun” function. It allows them to let loose and throw their cares away, which they desperately need after all this focus on leading. ESTJs and ESFJs will want to explore new interests in life whereas ENTJs and ENFJs will just…..give in to what they want to do now. But in both cases, they did their homework, and most likely deserve it.

-Their inferior function represents a repressed child crying for help. For ESTJs and ENTJs they have to remind themselves what they emotionally want whereas for ESFJs and ENFJs, they have to learn to take a step back and objectively analyze what’s going, disregarding how they feel about it. 

Ji-Doms (ISTP, ISFP, INTP, INFP): The nomads

- Ji-Doms are all about one thing: Their personal needs and expression of said needs. They focus mostly on their individuality regardless if it fits within the social mold. IxFPs judge things on what makes sense to their inner values, and IxTPs judge things on what just……..makes sense, period. 

- Their auxiliary function allows them to express themselves. ISxPs are more visceral and what to experience life first hand on their own terms. They have a tendency towards a “flashy” appearance (i.e. tattoos, latest designer clothes) INxPs however, have a penchant for a more provocative, upbeat appearance (Purple hair? Why not? It’ll get people guessing…)

- Their tertiary function is really interesting. It makes them take pause and ponder about the deeper implication of things (ISxPs) or remember what has always mattered to them (INxPs). In both cases, it serves as a “safety” zone.

- The inferior function is what all Ji-Doms seem to rebel against. IxFPs find that Te is suffocating and destroys their individuality and freedom whereas IxTPs find that Fe forces them into being someone that they are not. 

Playing Cards Divination

If you donot have your own set of tarot/oracle cards. you can use normal playing cards instead!

How to

Use them just like oracle/tarot cards.
First charge the deck, you do this by holding them in your dominant hand and pushing your energy into them, then touch each card one by one. fan the deck out in your non-dominant hand and ask for guidance and clear readings (from who ever you want readings to be influenced by, eg: god/dess, universe, spirits) From here I like to start with a little game to make sure the cards are giving me accurate readings, pick a person you know really well, then ask the deck for a card that represents that person the best, find the meaning, and if the card is accurate you’re good to go. if not cleanse it in the moon light or under salt then try again (you can skip this step, it just lets me know my cards are accurate and it also shows me a bit of the personality of the deck) Now you are ready for your reading, you can do a simple single card draw for advise to keep in mind for the day, or a 3 card draw 1- past 2-present 3- future, there are of cause a bunch of very complicated card spreads and alot of simple once, they aren’t hard to find

Meanings

Hearts

Ace A love letter, or some other pleasant news (reversed: A visit from a friend)
King  A fair, liberal man (reversed: A meeting with disappointment)
Queen A mild, amiable woman (reversed: Possibility of having been crossed in love)
Jack A carefree bachelor who thinks only of pleasure (reversed: A discontented man, possibly connect with the military)
Ten Triumph, happiness (reversed: slight anxiety)
Nine Satisfaction, joy, success (reversed: A passing annoyance)
Eight  A fair persons affection (reversed: indifference)
Seven Pleasant thoughts, tranquility (reversed: tedium, weariness, boredom) 
Six A sea voyage, good luck (reversed: sudden change of fortune)
Five Dreams of great significance (reversed: jealousy)
Four An engagement to be wed (reversed: difficulty in choosing between two lovers 
Three Trust your instincts (reversed: danger of trouble through lack of prudence) 
Two Great success (reversed: exercise caution in business dealings) 

Diamonds (make a small mark on these cards so you can tell if they are reversed) 

Ace  A letter soon to be received (Reversed: a letter containing bad news)
King A fair man who can be cunning and dangerous (reversed: A very great threat caused by him)
Queen An ill-bred, scandal-loving woman (Reversed: she is to be feared)
Jack An unfaithful friend or employee (reversed: will cause many problems)
Ten A relocation of home of business, a journey (reversed: the change/journey is not for the better)
Nine Delay, with resultant annoyance (reversed: a quarrel with your family or lover)
Eight An attempt to make love (reversed: the attempt thwarted)
Seven Satire, mockery (reversed: a foolish scandal)
Six Unhappy ends to a marriage (reversed: loss of your possessions)
Five Children bringing joy, prosperity in business (reversed: a unexpected financial loss)
Four Trouble and aggravations (reversed: loss of a friend or a good employee) 
Three Disputes and arguments in the home or office (reversed: a law suit)
Two A love affair or close friendship developing (reversed: scandal, loss of a friend)

Clubs

Ace Joy, prosperity or god news (reversed: the joy will be of a brief duration) 
King A frank, liberal man, fond of serving him friends (reversed: he will meet with disappointment) 
Queen An affectionate, quick-witted woman (reversed: Jealousy and maliciousness) 
Jack A clever an enterprising young man (reversed: A harmless flirt and flatterer)
Ten Fortune, success and fame (reversed: need for success) 
Nine A legacy, unexpected gain (reversed: a disappointingly small gift received) 
Eight A dark persons affection. If returned they will result in great prosperity (reversed: an unwanted suitor) 
Seven A small debt repaid to you (reverse: an even smaller amount received, disappointment) 
Six  Hard work resulting in good prosperity (reversed: Hard work with little or no return)
Five Good prospects for the future, a possible wedding (reversed: Plans coming to nothing)
Four A change in fortune, impending evil (reversed: Sudden and unexpected bad luck)
Three Wealthy connections, possibly through marriage (reversed: loss of income)
Two A disappointment (reversed: opposition to your desires) 

Spades

Ace An emotional relationship that could cause trouble (reversed: unexpected bad news)  
King The envious man, an enemy or dishonest lawyer who is to be feared (reversed: impotence, malice)  
Queen A widow (reversed: a dangerous and malicious woman)
Jack A dark, ill-bred, young man (reversed: he is plotting against you)
Ten Grief, prison, restraint (reversed: brief affliction)
Nine News of a death (reversed: the death of a near relative)
Eight Approaching illness (reversed: a broken marriage engagement, and offer refused)
Seven Many annoyances (reversed: foolish intrigue)
Six Good plans and intentions meeting with failure (reversed: lack of ideas or plans) 
Five Quarreling brought about by short tempers (revered: bickering, petty annoyances)
Four Being passed over for a promotion, missed opportunities (reversed: jealousy and envy)
Three Faithlessness in love, bitter (reversed: news of indiscretions) 
Two Separation, change (reversed: unwanted and unexpected change)

lili & cole on betty & jughead

“But what I found when I was really diving in — because once we started putting Jughead and Betty together, I started diving into try and find out if that’s a narrative that even exists in the digests, and it turns out, it is. It’s a narrative that’s existed for a long time. There are a handful of digests in which Jughead would say things like ‘Oh, Betty, if I did like women I guarantee you would be the one I would marry outright. You are the best person around.’ He would say these things that are really romantic and cute with an appreciation for Betty and I think it’s become clear to me now that Roberto has taken off with that.” –cole

“This is a new universe, this is a new take on Jughead, and he is this tortured damaged kid — this Holden Caulfield — who is looking for someone who can relate to him on a personal level and that narrative itself is also beautiful. While I think that [asexual] representation is needed, this Jughead is not that Jughead. This Jughead is not Zdarsky’s Jughead and this Jughead is not the aromantic Jughead. This Jughead is a person who is looking for a kind of deeper companionship with a person like Betty..and Betty ends up being this super nurturing, caring, catering person that with Jughead’s super screwed-up past they end up diving into each other and it ends up being a beautiful thing. How are people going to respond? Truthfully, they’re probably going to be quite incendiary about it at first. Do I think that’s ill-placed? No. Do I think they should give it a shot? Yeah, I do, because I think that after filming thirteen episodes, it makes sense to me and if it makes sense to me as the person who’s dumping so much time and so much argumentation into trying to represent Jughead correctly, it will make sense to other people as well.” –cole

It’s important to remember that — though Betty and Archie when they were younger were this cute couple — Jughead, Betty and Archie were the three childhood friends. So Betty knows Jughead probably just as well as Archie does in certain ways and she is also this sort of nostalgic force of what was once morally just. I do believe Jughead is absolutely obsessed with what was once Riverdale, and Betty still represents this morality and purity that he associates to this more ‘Peter Pan’-like childhood version of Riverdale. He finds great comfort in that and becomes easily accessible and resonates with him.” –cole

So there are a couple episodes — I won’t spoil too much — where you definitely get to see Jughead without a hat on, but we’ve saved it only for real vulnerable and personal moments. Yeah, you only see Jughead without his hat on in super vulnerable moments, because we kind of sold it as like his security blanket of sorts, and so – when he’s willing to take it off – it becomes this kind of special, vulnerable, personal thing. I think the first time he loses his hat is a moment with Betty.” –cole

“I’m really excited for people to see it. I hope their reaction is good. I mean, a lot of people– everyone has their own couple that they want to work on the show, but I think Betty and Jughead’s relationship as it progresses is really quite beautiful and they’re very supportive for one another, so I hope people appreciate that. And I think they will. Kind of all things aside, Jughead and Betty make each other happy.” –lili

Jughead was this character that was very much searching for a comfort and companionship in other people, and he ended up finding that within this super nurturing, care-taking, loving figure that Betty Cooper has become. And I think it makes a lot of sense narratively, the way the show has taken place, that the two of them end up sort of teaming up and becoming this force of investigation and companionship. And, you know, it’s very much a– It’s something deeper and more romantic than what I think people are going to expect, which is nice.” –cole

I think Betty makes Jug happy… Brings out, you know, the happiness in him.” –lili    

“I think, in this show, he’s not a romantic and not asexual. I argued in the beginning, creatively, that he should be both, but in this show, he’s kind of a tortured youth that ends up finding a comfort and a resonance with another person who’s going through a lot of trauma. They end up forming this kind of beautiful, honest union, and I think that, to me, is a narrative that works with this universe of Jughead.” –cole

Betty and Jughead end up being a wonderful match.” –lili

“I think Betty sees someone who genuinely cares for her and that’s not to say that Archie doesn’t, but I think Archie is preoccupied with other things and other women in his life. Jughead on the other hand is just dealing with his own family issues, which he doesn’t share with Betty until later on in the season. But he just really cares about Betty because she’s so lovable and I think he can’t help it. But Betty sees this genuine, outsider in him and she can relate because I think Betty feels like an outsider at times too. I think that is what draws her to him a little bit because they both don’t necessarily fit in.” –lili

“I think they begin to learn a lot more about each other’s family histories and family life, especially when Betty finds out about Jughead’s homelessness and it’s kind of beautiful to see Betty accept Jughead’s past and conquer it with him.” –lili

“Betty is best friends with Archie, which means she grew up with Jughead. They know each other, and they’re friends. Jughead is more outwardly dark and brooding, and Betty wishes she could be more like that. On the outside, they couldn’t be more different, but a lot of what Betty feels on the inside is what Jughead presents to the world — and that’s something that she hasn’t been able to do, out of pressure from her parents. She can’t present weakness to the world, and that’s what attracts her to Jughead. She’s attracted to his darkness because she relates to it. She feels like an outsider at the end of the day, which is why they make such a great pair. They’re both outsiders.” –lili

I think that she can appreciate his moodiness and his darkness because she has that within her self as well and I think that Jughead is a very caring and passionate guy and Betty helps bring out that side of him.” – lili

“They team up in that way — it starts with them working together, then their bond just gets closer. Jug helps Betty search for Polly, and she helps Jughead with [upcoming] family problems. It’s a beautiful friendship and maybe turns into something more.” –lili

Jughead finds a kind of comfort in Betty, and Betty finds a comfort in Jughead that allows them to step outside of the shit in their private lives for a moment. They really end up exploring it across the episode, and well, it works. It does. Jughead really cherishes few people and when he does, he goes full throttle with it, and Betty is the same. They’re both looking for comfort… and they find it.” –cole

“I had sort of read it as, well, if Jughead can be a force of clarity in Betty’s life in that moment where she’s sort of hyperventilating and panicking – if his romance with Betty can be the thing that allows her to see clearly, that’s something I think he [would take] pride in.” –cole

There is more than just a friendship there. It’s more than just platonic. But I think sex and being sexual is the last thing on both of their minds because they both obviously have a lot of family issues they’re dealing with. And even being sexual teenagers—again, they are more mature, while Archie is still stuck in that headspace. It just shows the different levels and the different maturities of the characters. At this point, Betty and Jughead are taking their time. That’s so much more satisfying to me as an audience member because it makes when they kiss so much more special.” –lili

When you put two passionate people together like that—especially when they’re trying to find Polly—a very intimate relationship comes out of it, and that’s what you see happens. In last week’s episode, Jughead was all about helping Betty. In tonight’s episode, Betty is all about helping Jughead. It’s a give and take, not one-sided, which may have happened in a less mature relationship.” –lili

“They are pulled together because Betty keeps her darkness on the inside, and I think Jughead wears it on the outside. They are slowly drifting together because she’s attracted to his darkness and his ability to come to terms and live with his dark side, whereas she pushes it away. He doesn’t necessarily try to push his bright side away; it just doesn’t come out very often. I think Betty brings out that side in him.” –lili

“As a couple they– They’re like the investigative journalistic duo here, working at the Blue and Gold. And I think their relationship started off being the journalists, being the two detectives in the school, and then it kind of branched into something romantic for both of them.” –lili

They compare themselves to Romeo and Juliet a couple times because he’s from the wrong side of the tracks and she’s the perfect girl next door. So I think there’s a star-crossed lover kind of aspect.” –lili

“I think they’re both romantics, and being put in a situation where they’re solving a murder kind of brings you close to someone, and I think they have a deep appreciation for each other. I think it’s really, it’s real and it’s there.” –lili

“I think in the following episodes, specifically episode 10, Bughead stops truly being like some sort of perfect, joyous thing; And the two of them start to investigate: Okay, can these personalities actually be compatible? Jughead is kind of the loner of Riverdale, and is intimidated by intimacy– and that gets explored. Betty’s this kind of person who’s outwardly striving for perfection, or people expect perfection of– and that also gets explored. And, so, it gets complicated, but understandable and real.” –cole

“I think, from our show’s perspective– They’re both so opposite on the outside in their appearances, but they’re very similar on the inside. They’re both kind of these tortured souls in a way, don’t you think? So, I mean, they’re both kind of on the outside in a sense, and that’s what I think kind of brings them together a little bit.” –lili

I think that similar passion was also the sort of thing that brought them close at the end of the day. I think there’s truth in that.” –cole

They balance each other very well. Betty has such a soft exterior, and he has such a harsh one. They’re kind of opposites in that sense. But I think internally, they’re both very emotionally complex characters and they’re both really passionate. Jughead is such a passionate writer and betty is such a passionate journalist, and they’re kind of like this little crime-fighting duo taking on this mystery together and I think that helps bring them closer.” –lili

“I think she’s in love with him. She says, ‘I love jughead,’ not ‘I’m in love with jughead,’ and I think there’s definitely a difference between those two things. But I do think that at that point in time, she’s falling in love. I really love them together, I really do. Some people either love them together or hate them together, but they make each other happy, you can’t deny that.” –lili

“they have a connection, unlike all the other characters, where their darkness kind of intertwines, and that’s beautiful. When they can still love each other through the darkness, that’s amazing. How he kisses her hand was actually my idea. I was like, ‘that just shows the love. When you show someone such a vulnerable side of yourself, when they physically can kiss it to show you they love every part of you, that is love.’” –lili

I think betty is very happy with jughead. I think she loves him. She loves archie as well, but I think it’s a different kind of love at this point. I think betty is smooth sailing with jughead, and isn’t confused about her feelings.” –lili

“Bughead has been through a lot of trauma Season 1 and will experience more in Season 2. It’s not smooth sailing — we get darker and weirder in Season 2.” –cole

“They’re balancing their personalities off each other, which is so apparently contrasting, and I think they’re obviously going to have realistic bumps in the road.” –cole

“With any young relationship, they’re still figuring out who they are. That kind of affects your relationship with other people. Things change. People breakup and get back together. It’s kind of an open-ended situation because anything can happen between two teenagers who are falling in love.” –lili

I want them to have a happily ever after if it’s honest and real. If they can comfort each other in a storm of shit that seems to be hitting them at light-speed, that’s what I want.“ –cole

It makes sense to have these two people who are kind of lonely and on the outside and don’t really fit in to a particular group to be together. I do hope they pull through, as long as they keep making each other happy.“ –lili

“I think the key is that it feels honest and real. Both of those kids are going through an absolute whirlwind in terms of things that they’ve seen and done over the last season, so, i think… I can hope that they just sorta work through whatever is going to be thrown at them in a way that feels genuine and communicative. And give that kind of relationship to kids who are watching would be awesome.” –cole

“I think she’s scared for her boy. I think it makes them even more of a Romeo and Juliet kind of situation because she’s thinking that he’s gonna being joining the southside and she’s on the northside. Season 2 focuses a lot on this civil war between riverdale (the northside and the southside); and she’s not caught in the middle, but the guy that she loves is on the opposite side. So, I think she’s quite terrified for that because she cares about him a lot.” –lili

lili on b*rchie & the love triangle

“It’s more about the relationships between the characters. A lot of people go into this show thinking that this guy has to choose between these two girls, and that’s the plot of the show. But that’s very much not our show. These characters are working through real issues. The main plot point of Season 1 is Jason’s murder. It’s definitely not the love triangle. I don’t think there’s even that much of a love triangle. Betty has already accepted the fact that Archie doesn’t love her that way, and she knows you can’t force someone to think differently about you. She needs to move on.

Archie is such a mess! They’re just two people who are so much better off as friends, but she doesn’t realize it just yet. That’s OK. She’s young. She’ll realize it eventually.

“He’s a confused teenage boy. He doesn’t know what he wants, romantically or for his future. He’s just lost. She has sympathy for him, but she’s trying to protect him. At the end of the day, she doesn’t want him to get hurt or wrapped up in something dangerous. I think her opinion of him, as a person, doesn’t change, but her opinion of him, as a romantic figure in her life, changes. She grew up with him as a best friend, and when you grow up with a guy as a best friend when you’re a girl, it’s hard not to see yourselves becoming romantically involved. You’re like, “We’ve been best friends. Why don’t we just be together?” That’s what she thought. Maybe she wasn’t really in love with him. Maybe she just thought she was because it felt like the right thing to do. It wasn’t easy, but it was easier than you would think for her to get over the fact that they shouldn’t be together, romantically. She just had an idea in her head of the perfect couple that was Betty and Archie, but in reality, it wasn’t there and it wouldn’t have been as good.

“In the comic books, Archie just kind of picks between each girl every other day. No girl wants to watch a girl on television be pulled apart by a guy every which way. You want a girl who doesn’t let someone do that to her.

“No, I wouldn’t say that necessarily. I think there will always be the undertone of that famous love triangle, but for right now at this point in the season, Betty and Archie are kind of going off into their own little romantic endeavors instead of with each other.

It was important to us that Archie did not come between these girls. He does for a second, but the main goal of our show – and Roberto [Aguirre-Sacasa] talked about it beforehand – is that Archie is not going to stand between a friendship between these two girls who are destined to be best friends. They are classic frenemies, but on our show, they’re just friends. They just love and care about each other. Betty has a different love interest in the show. She comes to terms pretty fast with the fact that Archie doesn’t see her in a romantic way. She gets it and can’t be mad at him for not feeling a certain way about her. And she can’t get mad at Veronica for wanting to be with Archie ‘cause she gets how great of a guy he is. Veronica wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt Betty.”

At first I thought, yeah of course they’re gonna end up together; at the end of the day, end of the series, that’s what’s right and what’s meant to happen. Now, I’m not so sure. I think Archie and Betty are so much better off as friends, and it’s kind of like when you’re so close to a person of the opposite sex, if things were to get romantic, it would feel so wrong.

K.J. is such a Betty and Archie [fan]! He wants them together!

“No, I feel like when he was introduced to the Archie story he was told Betty and Archie are endgame, so I think that’s what he sticks to and thinks must be the right thing. But you do see maybe some flares of jealousy; it comes with the territory when your best friend is with someone else. It’s like, “Who is this person?” It’s this territorial thing for your best friend.

“I think betty is very happy with jughead. I think she loves him. She loves archie as well, but I think it’s a different kind of love at this point. I think betty is smooth sailing with jughead, and isn’t confused about her feelings.

"That’s the whole point, our show is not a direct carbon copy of the comics.

I don’t think she feels possessive over archie anymore.

I personally don’t really look back to the comics as much because betty is very very different. She’s kind of like this gullible, naive girl who lets a man walk all over her a little bit; and the fact that our betty is not that way is something I’m proud of.

“I think it’s safe to say that betty is very happy with jughead and there is no bad blood… I think she is happy for her friends, if they are happy.” 

prince in training

~3k, rated T

Sterek ficlet inspired by this: “i grew up not knowing i was royal and now i guess i’m heir to a throne and you’re the guy who’s supposed to be teaching me how to be royal bc i suck at it and oops we made out” au

This is kind of Princess-Diaries-ish. I know that’s been done before in this fandom (and thank god it has—it’s awesome), but I couldn’t help myself. Yay for self-indulgence!

*

Stiles thought the most annoying thing about suddenly being a royal heir to a small eastern European kingdom he’s never heard of would be the hyper-aggressive paparazzi, but he was dead wrong.

The most annoying thing is actually Derek Hale, the guy Stiles’ grandmother hired to teach Stiles how not to screw this up.

“Princes don’t chew with their mouths open, Stiles.”

“Princes don’t shove an entire fistful of curly fries in their mouths, Stiles.”

“Princes don’t wear pink-and-green plaid shirts from Target, Stiles.”

“Princes don’t slouch.”

They don’t slump, either, or yawn or sneeze or cough in public, or fist-pump, or drive beat-up old blue Jeeps, or wear bright colors, or rock out to the radio, or do anything fun.

Keep reading

The Ouroboros

I’ve been pondering what Feyre saw in the Ouroboros Mirror. What parts of herself did the Mirror drag up from the darkest depths of her soul and make her face? What was Feyre forced to come to terms with in order to save Prythian, her friends, her family, and court? What did she learn to love? And what does the beast have to do with anything? 

I think Feyre had more to come to terms with than anyone else in Prythian. Yet she overcame it. She decided not to let her own soul destroy her. 

I believe she had to watch her younger self wring the neck of a tiny rabbit as it screamed in pain—her first kill. Feyre watched from the snow-shrouded trees as an ash arrow imbedded itself in the side of large wolf, an unprovoked shot of pure hatred. The Ouroboros would have shown in graphic detail everything that occurred UtM—the dancing and drinking that made her feel filthy, the unsolved riddled that made her relive her shortcomings, and the unbearable murder of two innocent fae. The families of those two innocent souls as they raged and mourned and crumpled in weary misery. They had come so close to freedom, but the price to pay had been their loved one. Feyre had taken it from them. 

The Mirror would have swirled with images and flashes of Tamlin, Lucien, Elain, Nesta…all those Feyre felt she had betrayed or let down in some way, whether it was deserved or not. Her conversations with Ianthe as she ignorantly shared every detail about her human family and their estate, then the moment her sisters stumbled through the door in Hybern, and were shoved into the Cauldron, Made into the very thing they hate. And somehow, after all this and so so much more, Feyre came to acceptance. But I think, more than all the ways she hurt those around her, or they hurt her in turn, all the blood and vomit and nightmares…more than any of that, Feyre had to learn to love the beast that stared back

I was not alone.

Crawling down the snow-kissed wall, a massive beast of claws and scales and fur and shredding teeth inched toward the floor. Toward me.

Its enormous paws were near-silent on the floor, the fur on them a blend of black and gold. Not a beast designed to hunt in these mountains. Certainly not with the ridge of dark scales down its back. And the large, shining eyes—.

I didn’t have time to remark on those blue-grey eyes as the beast pounced. 

Where I had been standing … the beast now sat, scaled tail idly swishing through the snow.

Watching me.

Not—not watching.

Gazing back at me. My reflection.

Of what lurked beneath my skin.

My knife clattered to the stones and snow. And I looked into the mirror. (pg. 605-6) 

“What did you see?”

“Myself. I saw myself.” (pg. 617-18) 

Maas gives us a short, but very revealing description of the beast—Feyre’s beast

The significance of gold and black fur? Throughout ACOTAR and MAF, Feyre religiously rejected any power that related to Tamlin, namely the ability to shift into animal form. She feared the claws that poked against her skin. She hated them. Until she realized they weren’t Tamlin’s claws, they were her own. They were talons. And if she could make talons, she could make wings. Feyre’s beast form having a mixture of black and golden fur signifies that Tamlin is a part of her, and always will be. She once loved him, so much so that she killed for him, died for him. A love like that leaves a permanent imprint on a soul, even if the love itself doesn’t last forever. Feyre had to learn to love the part of her soul that had been touched and permanently changed by Tamlin. 

The scales could signify several things. Of course Summer comes to mind. Feyre obviously has an affinity for the Summer magic that flows through her veins. It came easily to her—more easily than any other High Lord’s power. The scales might represent the bond formed between Tarquin and Feyre while she visited Summer. Regardless of the blood rubies, now rescinded, the High Lord of Summer and High Lady of Night shared a unique understanding of one another, and a common passion to spread equality between the High Fae and lesser faeries (and even humans) to all courts and territories. 

The scales might also be equivalent to the thorns Feyre feels she has and once used to describe herself to Tamlin—the spiny ridge running down the beasts’ back and tail representing her prickly side. This is an annoying feature most of us have, and a part we all hate, but must accept responsibility for. 

But perhaps the mostly likely possibility is that the scales and ridges represent Feyre’s armor (Illyrian armor is scaled). We know it to be thick. In ACOMAF, Rhysand worked for months to attempt to delve through the layers and layers of Feyre’s armor in the form of depression, anger, bitterness, and solitude. It is likely that Feyre had to learn to love that armor, even if she wished it had been stronger, or less harmful to those around her, the way it hurt Rhys after the Court of Nightmares scene in ACOMAF, and Mor at the camp in ACOWAR. While gazing at herself in the Mirror, Feyre had to learn to bear her armor proudly and honorably, to use it to strategically protect herself, and not harm or keep out those who love her, fight for her. 

The massive, flesh-shredding teeth—Feyre’s ability and willingness to kill and murder. Whether for food to avoid starvation, killing for no other reason than pure, undiluted hatred, or the murder of innocents to save the one she loved, Feyre has a lot of blood on her hands. And as we learned through her nightmares and admittance to Cassian…Feyre feels that blood should be her own. She has fangs, and she’s used them—over and over again. Feyre suffered soul-deep from the pain she felt she brought upon others. But when the Mirror showed her those glistening teeth and impressive maw, Feyre had to accept that pain and torment—and then turn it against her enemies. Not fangs to harm the innocent, but rather to protect them, to fight for them. To fight against Hybern and the injustices of the world. To protect her sisters and those like them. To care for the weak and weary and afraid. 

I have been struck each time I’ve read these scenes—on a personal level. To think about facing my own beast…what would it look like? How would I react as it sat and laid my very soul bare? Could I even look into my own eyes as they gazed back in judgement? Could I learn to love every part of myself as Feyre did? Would I be able to face my inner most demons? Honestly, I don’t know. But I think we could all benefit from pondering this passage a bit more.

Penny for your thoughts.

Truth: Arrow 5x20 Review (Underneath)

Arrow isn’t a perfect television show. To be fair, I don’t know one that is, but I never needed Arrow to be perfect.  All I need from Arrow is a good story.  My frustrations with Oliver and Felicity’s break up, and the Baby Mama storyline, aren’t a secret. I found their break up to be wildly problematic on multiple levels. However, the one caveat I always held to was if Arrow can piece together some interesting character growth for Oliver and Felicity it would go a long way of easing my ruffled feathers. We’ve been dealing with the ramifications of Oliver’s lie about William since 4x08. That’s 35 episodes. We’ve waited a long time for Oliver and Felicity’s individual arcs to come to fruition.

The wait was worth it. At least for me.

Our perceptions of “good story” vary as widely as our perceptions of “perfect” but “Underneath” is a good story for me.  It’s almost perfect. 35 episodes. This road was long. It was hard but, in the end, I feel like I understand. It connects all the dots that need to be connected (and some I didn’t expect) while delivering some real character development that feels earned.

In the midst of the crazy world of arrows, masks, Mirakuru soldiers, 15 different canaries and Barry Allen resides the relationships between Oliver and Felicity

and Original Team Arrow. 

These characters, and the love they have for one another, is the sanity in all the madness. It’s the real in the fiction. Oliver, Felicity and Diggle are the beating heart of Arrow for a reason. The love we have for these characters is the reason we watch and “Underneath” returns Arrow to center. It focuses on the love stories that made us fall in love with the show. In particularly, it brings Oliver and Felicity’s individual arcs to fruition and FINALLY merges their roads into one again.

Trust. Honesty. Forgiveness. Compassion. Humility. These aren’t always popular concepts in our society, but they are the building blocks to any relationship. You lose one, the whole house can come down on you. Love feels like it has its own inertia, like it chooses you and not the other way around. And maybe that’s true. Maybe we can’t choose who we love.  However, we can choose how we love.

If you are either Team Felicity or Team Oliver in the break-up- Baby-Mama-drama then there’s probably things about “Underneath” you didn’t like. As for me, I believe there are things both Oliver and Felicity need to learn from the breakup and “Underneath” addresses those things. But more than anything, I am ready for Arrow to rebuild what they broke. I am ready for Arrow to fix it. Are you?

Buckle up. This is, by far, my longest review. We’re going all the way back to the pilot and discuss about five different episodes. This took me about 22 hours to write. No need to comment on how long it is. I am well are.

Let’s dig in…

Keep reading

so i finished my first year of college last month and thought i’d share things i learned and advice on entering and starting your first year 

  • keep a planner
  • take advantage of student id discounts
  • try to go to class as much as possible
  • in cases that you don’t go, make sure you have a friend, or at least someone who will fill you in and give you notes, in each class
  • network as soon as you can and as often as you can
  • wait a week or two until you purchase your textbooks, people aren’t lying to you, they’re expensive as fuuuccckkk, you’ll want to wait for multiple reasons because in some cases you never even end up using the book, or your library has it and you can just borrow it for free
  • wear flip flops in the shower if you don’t have your own bathroom
  • speaking of, go to the bathroom before class
  • set multiple alarms
  • take advantage of as many opportunities that come your way as possible
  • MAKE CONNECTIONS
  • have a very, very open mind
  • watch your drink
  • watch your friend’s drinks too
  • never, ever, ever, ever, ever, under ANY circumstances, drive while intoxicated or get into a car with a driver who is 
  • get to know your professors
  • do the extra credit, it’s rare
  • back up your files
  • if you take your laptop with you somewhere bring your charger as well
  • take the stairs, seriously, a little goes a long way
  • 99.9999% of people don’t give a shit about what you were in high school
  • try to plan and work ahead
  • never travel alone late at night
  • don’t hesitate to ask for help—material that took a week to learn in high school can be taught in one lecture in a college class, no one will slow down for you or help you unless you speak up
  • participate in class
  • again, talk to your professors, it’s good to in general, and you never know how they can help you outside of class
  • if you have a problem with your roommate, if you’re not getting along with them, or it’s not working, do something about it ASAP
  • keep in touch with those you care about, don’t burn bridges
  • it’s ok if you don’t make friends immediately, it took me awhile to find people i could truly be satisfied with, sometimes it happens when you’re not looking
  • take this to heart: do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do before. the best things i did this past school year were things i never tried in high school, going on trips with people i didn’t know, who i now call some of the closest friends i have, and going on service work trips out of state
  • build up your gpa in the beginning by taking classes that are not as tough in your first semester, a gpa is harder to bring up than to knock down, tldr; start strong, start easy
  • grades matter, BUT, don’t sacrifice your health and well being for them
  • get enough sleep, you can, i did
  • don’t base your decisions off what other people would think but if something goes against your morals, stick with your morals
  • take care of yourself and your body, just because it’s free does not mean you have to eat it, college is the perfect time to make your physical health crash and burn but it is also the perfect time to start having a healthier one
  • take the time to check over assignments you’re submitting
  • ratemyprofessor.com is your bff, use it and reference it
  • sign up for a variety of activities and test out the water to see what you like most
  • early classes are not that bad
  • attend campus events
  • know what’s going on on campus, don’t be clueless in your own environment
  • get involved in clubs and groups that are associated with your major…but also stuff that isn’t
  • and if a group/organization that’s associated with your major, like for me PRSSA, has a membership fee, it’s probably worth it
  • explore your city, campus, downtown….
  • try to get an internship before it’s required
  • get a LinkedIn account
  • always keep an umbrella and a phone charger on hand
  • make friends with as many people as you can, but don’t “collect” friends, ya know?
  • go to job fairs/career fairs
  • it’s ok to stay in sometimes and just j chill
  • decorate and personalize your room
  • when preparing to register for classes, make a mock schedule first
  • find a mentor(s)
  • first impressions are a big fucking deal
  • you don’t have to put on a ball gown, but put an effort into the way you represent yourself
  • make a budget 
How Fusion relationships work

“How many Gems are you now?”
“Six! Maybe more … if we meet the right Gem.”

In the episode “Off Colors,” Fluorite makes it clear she’s a relationship of SIX Gems and is open to more. I was joking around trying to think of what her fusion dance would look like if she added another Gem to this relationship, thinking it would be kind of adorable seeing one smaller Gem dancing to fuse with this huge amalgam. But then I wondered about a few things and I collected enough Thinky Thoughts to ramble for a bit.

For a long time before “Super Watermelon Island,” we fans were curious about Alexandrite’s fusion dance. We knew Garnet, as a Fusion herself, prefers to form Fusions with others when she’s already in her Fusion state–as in, she certainly doesn’t split up first to dance with the others one on one when she wants to form Sugilite or Sardonyx. 

We figured hey, maybe it’s easier to synchronize two Gems rather than trying to synchronize three at the same time, and therefore maybe Alexandrite was formed with Pearl and Amethyst fusing into Opal first before dancing with Garnet. 

In “Super Watermelon Island,” we see that’s not so.

Which is not to say that Opal and Garnet COULDN’T decide to fuse that way, but they didn’t in this case. And we can see that if they’re prepared to do it, a three-way synchronization can work without previously synchronizing the components into Fusions.

Fusions can fuse with individuals. With TWO individuals. And individual Gems can of course make Fusions. So basically, it’s free-for-all mix-n-match however the Gems involved are comfortable doing it. 

And I got to wondering what that means for the Fusions themselves. Fusions are relationships. So theoretically, Fusions are the relationships of the component Gems with each other, even in more complicated Fusions like Alexandrite. But essentially, Alexandrite seems like she is the relationship of Amethyst and Pearl with Garnet, not so much the relationship of Amethyst and Pearl and Ruby and Sapphire. If they were to all four fuse in a single fusion dance, they would still make Alexandrite, but Pearl and Amethyst probably don’t HAVE much of a relationship with Ruby or with Sapphire individually. When Pearl first met Garnet in any meaningful way, she was already fused.

So when Pearl makes Sardonyx with Garnet, that relationship is by definition Ruby, Sapphire, and Pearl’s relationship, but practically speaking, it’s a relationship between Pearl and Garnet. Because her relationship with Ruby and Sapphire is nearly always in the context of them as their relationship. As Garnet.

That may seem like a weird point to press on, but stay with me here. 

Garnet probably doesn’t have much of a relationship with Opal as an individual. She has individual relationships with Pearl and with Amethyst, and together their group is Alexandrite. They’re a four-Gem Fusion, but personality-wise, Alexandrite represents Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst together far more than she represents Ruby, Sapphire, Pearl, and Amethyst together. When they start to fight internally, you certainly hear Garnet’s voice coming out, not the voices of Ruby or Sapphire. (And maybe, aside from the potential spoiler-related reasons, that’s why Alexandrite makes more sense with six arms instead of eight.)

Rebecca Sugar has repeatedly said in interviews that Fusions ARE relationships (though they also obviously have their own opinions that can be in contradiction with their components’ opinions, like Sugilite, and can “feel like one being” like Garnet said in “Keeping It Together”). And she’s also said Fusions are an interesting opportunity to explore who people are TOGETHER–the way humans can be together in a relationship and it changes who they are, how they think, how they function as a unit even though they can never be as much of a single entity as a Fusion is. This has me thinking about Fluorite.

She’s an established six-Gem relationship. I don’t know how they came to the conclusion that they wanted to live together, but Rhodonite’s question “how many Gems are you now?” suggests she’s been adding them steadily–that it wasn’t all at once. Very much like Amethyst and Pearl having a relationship with GARNET far more than with Ruby and/or Sapphire individually, I imagine that Fluorite’s additional Gems beyond the first ones–including potential future additions–would develop a relationship with the Fusion, not so much with her components. They may not even KNOW much about who they are individually because the relationship is that significant. That the relationship changes them so much.

I mean, you’ve probably met people who are in relationships and have been part of that unit since a very long time before you met them. They’ve grown into each other, become comfortable with each other, and developed a collective “we” identity that connects to their family, their living situation, their thresholds of intimacy, their interests–everything. You would have no way to know the individuals in that relationship how they would be if they didn’t have it–just like it’s hard to imagine who someone might be if they weren’t an artist, or weren’t a mother, or weren’t chronically ill, or weren’t the gender or sexuality they are. You can’t pluck one element out of them and then try to re-imagine them around the hole that leaves–not unless that element actually does disappear and they readjust their identity around it. I think our relationships can be like that too–that they affect our identity.

Humans’ relationships aren’t as literally transformative as a relationship that can literally become its own person, but our relationships essentially have lives of their own too. Garnet didn’t describe Fusion to Stevonnie as “an experience” for nothing. Most of us don’t “feel like one being” as part of a relationship, and there are some ways in which that can be unhealthy for us if we repress important parts of ourselves to become subsumed in something we wouldn’t like if we were fully conscious of what we were doing. But in general, it’s not a bad thing to have one’s relationship regarded as an important element of who they are. It’s certainly part of how the outside world thinks of them and treats them.

With someone like Fluorite, I think it would be super interesting to see how a single Gem has a relationship with an existing relationship and becomes a part of it. But even though I think Fluorite, and Garnet, and even in some ways Malachite, can be regarded and treated as individuals while fused–requiring those who have relationships with them to take them as a whole–you would also have to have at least some kind of relationship with that relationship’s members. You’d understand them as a package deal, but you might have different feelings about its members. Steven, for instance, loved Lapis and disliked Jasper, but understood Malachite as someone he needed to fight.

Now here’s the sad thing. Garnet states that she’ll “always exist in” Ruby and Sapphire, and that she embodies their love (even though they can still experience that love when they’re not fused, too). But I imagine that if Garnet were separated for a long time, Steven would miss her a lot. And I can imagine if one of Steven’s guardians decided to, say, form a new Fusion with Fluorite and stay that way, he would miss her too. You can’t have both the single Gem and the perma-Fusion in your life consistently.

Most of us have been there. “Losing” a person to a new relationship and nothing is ever the same with them again. They give themselves to the relationship, they go everywhere together, and you can’t invite one without them bringing the other(s). Sometimes, you probably miss that person and want them back. But when they’re part of the relationship, that’s part of who they are, and even when they’re not with their partner(s), they’re part of that relationship. Sometimes that can feel sad, especially if it means your special relationship with that person had to end, lessen, or significantly change. 

Fusion relationships are very different from ours in a few obvious ways, but they’re not so fundamentally different that we can’t draw the parallels. Sometimes you wish the Fusion wasn’t there because you think the relationship is bad for those involved, like Malachite. If you’re Steven, you want your Lapis back and you want Jasper out of both of your lives. You might try to advise Lapis, you might try to protect her from Jasper, but she’s the one who has to decide what her relationship is. You can only hope she sees reason, or you could lose her in more ways than one.

With loving relationships, like Garnet, you want them to be together. Not necessarily because you like Garnet better than you like Ruby and Sapphire–it’s fun to see them now and then, sure!

But you know they prefer to be together, and that they experience anxiety and pain when they’re apart, and that they’ve chosen a life together where some of their individuality is given up for that closeness. You respect their decision and have a relationship with their relationship.

For humans, our relationships do not literally combine the traits of multiple people into one person that then has its own conscious will. The individuals in the relationship still function, while “the relationship” has no physical manifestation despite its influence being felt in the components. But it still changes the “color” of their lives together and brings the people involved close together to serve many shared goals, just like a Fusion.

So when a hypothetical new Gem does come along and establish a relationship with Fluorite, I think she would dance with her. Not with her components individually, but with her. We know Garnet as Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship–not as Ruby and Sapphire combined, but as the result of that combination. For a fused Gem, the Fusion is the new identity who can now make decisions and have experiences, even though they ARE an experience at the same time. It isn’t the same as individuals deciding to do the same thing. They made the decision to become the thing that decides on its own. And that Fusion, in the reality of their life together, can sometimes decide that’s no longer what they want to be. Or they can realize they’d rather be this than anything they were supposed to be and that they’d rather do this than anything they were supposed to do.

If a Gem has a relationship with a relationship, it’ll always be with the relationship first. The new relationship will need to be understood as coming into a shared, existing intimacy. Pearl and Amethyst don’t individually get consent from Ruby and from Sapphire when Garnet acts on their behalf to form Alexandrite. Garnet feels and acts differently from Ruby and Sapphire sometimes, and their choice to fuse into her has influenced the subsequent decisions they make as her. 

They may or may not disagree with how Garnet acts sometimes–like, if you were to ask Sapphire or ask Ruby what they would have personally done when Garnet did something different, you might get some answers that are as different as Amethyst and Garnet’s answers would be from Sugilite’s. But within the context of the relationship, with the relationship actively existing, it has the power to influence how the individuals feel. They have a relationship, and then that relationship can feel and think in unprecedented ways–with some of them not being so good. Being in a relationship with an abusive person, for instance, can sometimes make the abused party accept treatment they wouldn’t outside the relationship, or might have thought they wouldn’t tolerate before the relationship was established. And sometimes it’s neutral, like what a married couple decides they want in a shared home is different from what kind of place each might buy individually.

But what’s important about this is that fusion of goals, opinions, and thoughts in human relationships isn’t necessarily a sad thing. It’s a natural thing. We all influence each other. Allowing yourself to be influenced does not mean the relationship has eclipsed your life, or that you’re in an unhealthy dependence, or that you’ve lost your individual will–you’re still part of what you’ve made together. And if you’re happy in your relationship, anyone who comes along afterwards needs to understand who it’s made you, and be accepting of it, and most of all, be willing to have a relationship with your relationship. Not just one of its parts.

Height placement and its significance regarding shiro and keith's potential as leaders

Preface: I’m studying animation and recently started looking into storyboarding. If there’s anything I’ve taken away from it, is that every shot has a purpose. 

So I thought about some scenes in VLD and realised that there might be more to episode 1 than meets the eye. Long post ahead.

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Aspects in the Natal Chart Series

Venus Square Pluto: The Prick of a Rose

Ah the attractions you stumble upon are never easy, but what can you do? You cant help it. For you have truly craved the intoxicating taste of what bewitches you. Alas, here explains where you have oozed your sexuality to the world, charming every breathing thing as you exclude your aura around them. You don’t want fake love or something superficial; You want someone real that has depth, and you give loyalty in return (this goes for all venus-pluto aspect). You’re seductive, charming, have a knack for money, and stubborn about your desires. Yet the question is, how does this aspect manifest? You may fear the consequences of love, or you may crave a love so deep, that it’ll leave you breathless. This isn’t some easy aspect, squares and oppositions have a cringe-feeling quality that keeps you wary; keep caution for holding the rose (beauty) as it may please you, but it can prick you. You’re your own enemy, self-sabotaging your relationships and destroying it as you release it. You may drive, not only yourself, but your partner crazy with your suspicious qualities and controlling attitude. Don’t deny it, you may act like the thorn on the rose. You can have deep fears about love, a form of insecurity, and/or perhaps even intimacy. It makes perfect sense, deep transformation connecting to love and sensuality. This is about manifestation because I’m not going to sugar coat it; you can have obsessive undertones, acid splashes of jealousy, and can be dangerously revengeful. It needs to blossom into just letting go, especially emotionally. To find peace and to gain self-growth. Only than can you reach to the heights potential with this aspect; to love deeply, peacefully, intuitively, seductively, but most importantly, healthily.

Venus Square Moon: The Undercurrents in the Soul

The one thing Venus and the Moon have in common are peace and tranquility but a square has none of the smooth corners for such mannerisms to occur easily to the person. Here’s the difference though, the moon is maternal and nurturing. Venus is sensual and flirtatious. Sounds like a nice mix but it’s split. These two elements click deeply to the heart, so for your want of love and to have strong bonds is important to you because you’re probably very sensitive. You fear abandonment or rejection, to not have your emotions reciprocated. Due to this aspect and despite your want, you rather not be in a committed relationship. If you choose to, it might be ones not favorable to you. It’s quite simple you see, your emotional needs don’t match what you’re attracted to. It does not flow together and challenges each other. The funny thing is, you can’t be yourself and let loose despite how emotional you are. These are both feminine energies and more conflicting in a male’s chart, but regardless,the currents of waves are strong and it can never reach what you want. Either someone attracts the outer layer of what you want, but not what you need, or vice-versa. The makeup of your wants and needs , they don’t match. There’s just no harmony obtained, so what works when you want a long-term relationship? Someone who also has Venus square Moon.

Venus Square Saturn: The Broken Mirror and Fallen Petals

Saturn is a very…mature planet. It’s about restrictions and repression, and then wisdom and growth. It’s the life cycle represented in a planet; you fall and get up but rather slowly. Venus is all about love, beauty, and happiness. You see how those two work when harshly affected? These people may feel unloved, unappreciated, unloved, and have hints of insecurity. Yes you are responsible in love, but you’re also sensitive to criticism and rejection, as you’re guarded too. You’re responsible in love, always being a shoulder to lean on but are a little restrictive/strict with your partner with your deep-rooted fears. Due to the nature of this aspect, you might be uncomfortable when others express love and aren’t good in showing the soft-side of you. Two words: You’re guarded. There’s this introverted nature to you, even socially. You have this responsibility of working, “to enjoy the fruits of your labor.” And in love? Be careful not to build strong expectations because you’ll get disappointed a lot. It’s not even the harsh nature you project outside, but even inside. It’s harsh as I said, you’re breaking the mirror with your loud thoughts. The petals have fallen as time have passed, but like Saturn being aided by Venus, something soon enough beautifully manifest. Now there’s a stronger mirror and richer petals canvasing the stem in your hand. You’re naturally frugal with money, ambitious, hard-working, and loyal. With manifestation, you have the self-love requited by no one, but yourself. Truly aging like fine wine.

Mercury Square Uranus: “Eureka,”she says

Electric shocks shoot from your words, your thoughts. Straight to their mind and possibly infiltrating their soul. There’s something unique and bizarre about your thoughts, but different and ground-breaking. Your flavor of thought is one of a kind, but if your Mercury has a serious undertone, your insight can be original. One astrologer explained this as the left brain (Mercury) connecting to the right brain (Uranus), one is expressed to the world and the other isn’t. So this is why it’s so addictive and interesting to know and hear the thoughts of these people. There is also the sweet zest of freedom; to allow one selves and others to voice their freedom. These people do well in expanding their knowledge and to share it to the world. They learn and understand ideas quick, picking up things often at a speedy rate. These people are open-minded and unique. Uranus screams unique and Mercury, well… it speaks. I’m going to quit giving love to Mercury though because if you see my blog, I do that a lot for some odd reason. The square comes with some not-so-fun qualities. With all major Mercury-Uranus aspects, there’s also a sense of being stubborn. Difficulty to speak in harmony at times, to act mentally superior, impatient with people who can’t keep up with your electrifying pace. Although some may value their thoughts, some may shun it away. These individuals need to learn to stop thinking too much. Lady Gaga, Elvis Presley, John F Kennedy, and Winston Churchill are the few who held this aspect.

Mercury Square Neptune: The Depth of My Thoughts

Sneaky little Mercury with the vast oceans of Neptune? There’s a seductive and dreamy undertone with this. Seductive in the most sincere way, your imagination is something else. They have a poetic sense to them which seems to latch people on, and even if you’re reading this you may not realize it a lot. There’s something about them that makes you wander…where are they (even though they’re present)? What are they thinking? How do they know this? It’s this that gives them that introverted and “hard to reach” nature which is hard to deal with. Since Mercury focuses on a precise thought and Neptune swims in the depths and expanse of the ocean, it’s interesting as  how much they pick up. They’re insightful and intuitive, but sensitive. The thing is their thoughts again are like the siren, it sits there but you can’t ever reach it and grab on for good. That’s what makes this aspect hard; people may have a hard time getting the real them. They don’t take criticism well and they’re prone to be misunderstood, there’s complexity in them and they don’t always take self-boundaries well. Boundaries in a sense of mental rapport, they don’t like facts or to have restrictions. They’re gifted with intuition though; to read minds of others and to fit their surroundings. Sadly they have to refrain from drowning in confusion and fear, their depth can consume them which is really hard to deal with. In basic words, their thoughts can drown them.

Mercury Square Moon: Heart versus Mind

These planets together are quite, intriguing. With hard Mercury-Moon aspects, these two join in a volatile way. They over think and then it works them emotionally, and vice-versa. It makes me think of anxiety, to over think to the point your emotions are swirling everywhere. It’s the fine point where your mind and heart meet at the border. There is a sense of difficulty in expressing emotions and to have people value them the way they want. Even though the mind and heart are facing each other and are fatally bonded, they’re not happily married and are constantly having opposing opinions. “I think we should do this.” “No, but I feel like we should do this” and with the constant bickering, the inner-confusion begins. They also deal with the affair of being emotionally biased and sensitive with their opinions. There’s also this sense of gossiping or over-talking that astrologers bring up with this aspect, which makes sense because your emotions are spilling out with your voice.