e: jm

This feeling is so unsettling. I’m consumed with your thoughts to the point where I can no longer breathe. Why is it so difficult for me to just tell you that I miss you? Why is it so difficult to actually say what’s on my mind? Why can’t I just not think of you? Why do you always have to be in my head all the time?

I was appalled when you asked me how I know things about you when we’ve been together for more than a year; then it dawned on me that it’s probably the effect of your illness

So even though you’re physically, mentally and emotionally ill at the moment

Even though you questioned how I know how you sleep on your right side curled up

Even though you wondered how I know you’re 6ft tall with blue eyes and an extremely nice smile

Even though you were bemused because I’ve memorized your features

Even though you asked how I know you have a pink, blue and white shirt

Even though you laughed because I know that you wear blue jeans with five buttons

Even though you were puzzled how I know that you like toast and Greek yogurt

And even though you forgot a lot of things already, you still haven’t forgotten one thing

You still haven’t forgotten that you like me

And for me that’s enough

Journeyman - Chapter 27

“I don’t want to see people!”

I wearily rubbed my temples. “Story of my life.”

It was Sunday and, more importantly, the morning after my wooing of Harry. I wanted nothing more than to be nestled up beside his warm body, a tattooed arm keeping me firmly pressed against him. Instead I was trying to convince a two year old that starting preschool tomorrow was not the end of the world. Neither of us were impressed.

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Journeyman - Chapter 28

Having a boyfriend was a surreal concept to me and one which I was still trying to wrap my head around. It didn’t matter that I’d been sleeping next to him for months now. I had to be dense, surely, because the fact that we kissed and held hands, that we’d had sex, that I told him I loved him, none of it really seemed to have sunk in. I’d met a nanny when I’d picked Lux up from pre-school one day this week and whilst making small talk, she’d asked me if I was single. Confirming that ‘yes, of course I’m single’ was so ingrained in me that by the time I finished really thinking about it and had replied that I actually did have a boyfriend, she had to believe I was lying.

I needed to fulfill my new role of girlfriend better.

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