Your Harry Potter OTP as things my parents have said to each other
Dad: damn, who pissed in your wheaties?
Mom: is that a euphemism or a legitimate question? Because I know the answer to both would be you
Mom: (snorts at something on her phone)
Dad: why did you just snort?
Mom: I don’t know I was just being stupid
Dad: shouldn’t you be snorting all the time then?
Mom: (Mariah Carey voice) ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMASSS… ISSSSS…
Dad: my two front teeth? Wait
Mom: i like your butt.
Dad: I like YOUR butt.
Mom: this is why we are an example of a good marriage.
Dad: did you change the wall color? When did our walls become blue?
Mom: I painted these walls two years ago. Did you even notice that there were walls in the first place?
Dad: only the ones you put up to block me out :(
Mom: I love you.
Dad: you smell. But I love you. And your smells.
Dad: a navy pilot drew a dick in the sky with a plane!
Mom: stop saying the word dick we’re in a public place
Dad, louder: A NAVY PILOT DREW A PENIS IN THE SKY WITH A PLANE
Dad: Come look at this meme!
Mom: what’s a meme?
Dad: The Answer to that question is
Mom: just because you read something about the government on the internet online doesn’t mean it’s true.
Dad: that’s just what the government lizard-people are brainwashing you to think.