Dysphoria


Gender Dysphoria isn’t something you can just turn off and on, it’s a feeling that happens naturally and rarely is within our control.

It isn’t an automatic and excessive self-loathing, but it can be the cause of it.

Imagine you are getting dressed for a formal event, and you’re unable to find something you’re comfortable wearing.  Either the sleeves are too short, the dress is too long, the dress is too tight around your midriff, your blazer pinches at your hips, your pants strangle your crotch, your shoes are too small or too big.  Imagine that feeling again, but this time it being your body.  This time it is something that was finalized without your say in the matter and you are made to live with something you never asked for.  This discomfort can cause feelings of distaste and dislike with one’s own skin, but it isn’t self hatred.

Please stop telling trans people they ‘just hate their body’.
 Dysphoria is so much more than that.

Keep reading

"You WILL be a girl for one day"

This is what my Dad said to me when I asked if I could wear a suit/tux to my one and only prom.
He booked me to have my nails done (they are bloody uncomfortable and real inconvenient?) and got me a dress.
When I tried all of my prom stuff on yesterday, he said; “when you tried it on did you realise that you’re a girl called Amber, not a girl called Nick or some shit.”
And a voice in my head is telling me not to say anything and that I should be greatful. I know I haven’t come out to them yet, but each time I tried to, I remember Dad telling me that I WILL be a girl. That may not seem like much to some, but it knocked my confidence on coming out a lot.
Tomorrow should be a fun last day with the whole squad before Chloe goes off to college (Us other three are staying on at Sixth Form..) but instead, I’ll spend the evening uncomfortable and trying to handle dysphoria.
So this one goes out to all the Transboys being forced into dresses for Prom, because I’m sure I’m not the only one.

i need some help...

so, as i am genderfluid, i’ve been really wanting to cut my hair for quite some time now as a way to cope with dysphoria. my mom just set up an appointment for tomorrow morning, and i’m really nervous. i know that it’s just hair, and it will grow back, but ahhhhh struggle. if any of you have any advice, it would be greatly appreciated!!!!!

i’m getting ready to move, and inspiration has slowly started crawling back into my system. expect updates soon!!!!

anonymous asked:

I have really bad dysphoria and I was wondering if you know any good ways to lessen it. I don't have enough money for a binder or anything else and it just gets really hard some days any tips? -Captain

I like to workout when I get dysphoric, maybe you should try it? 

you could also wear slightly baggier clothes, wear black or darker colors, try different things with your hair just to see if it makes you feel more confident. I don’t know what else. do any of our followers have good tips?

-blake (maliciouswolf)

Therapy today was intense and awesome. 

We decided to start on processing my gender issues. I explained to her some of my feelings, both internal and external, as well as thoughts I’ve been having for some time now.

I can’t say enough how awesome it is to be with my therapist. She knew me at my worst and knows me now at my best. 

She said it is interesting to see, now, my gender confusions. It came as no surprise to her that I don’t like to be feminine. I dressed like a boy when she first met me, and I’ve always acted like “one of the guys”. Sure, a shallow observation, but to tell her that I don’t really feel female came as no shock to her (almost as little shock as my coming out was). 

She was the first person who talked to me about my eating disorder. She was the first one who ever brought it up to me. She is the one who sent me to treatment in Florida for it. She is the one who talked to my parents about it. My eating disorder was always abundantly clear to her, even though I fought her on it because I didn’t want to admit that I had a problem with food.

She says it’s interesting to see my gender dysphoria now because it’s clicking more for her. Part of my therapy had been trying to pin point what stressors were causing the obsessive control over my food and body weight. What happens when you get thinner? Your boobs get smaller and so do your hips…the biggest things I still want to reduce. So there’s the possibility that my subconscious was trying to deal with those anxieties through obsessive control. I’m not sure that it was the sole reason for my anxiety focusing on food, but it makes sense that it would contribute to it. 

We spoke a lot about intimate details of my dysphoria (sex, nudity, etc) and how I mentally connect with my penis. So it is a facet we are going to process more, for sure. I spoke to her about the panic attacks I’ve had when Becs has touched my chest when we are just being kids and playing around, while just 12 hours earlier while we were having sex it didn’t phase me. She brought up a valid point and something to consider. Most of the time that it has caused severe anxiety has been when I’m not expecting it or it catches me off guard. There is the possibility that it has nothing to do with dysphoria and more to do with body memories from past abuse. 

If this is the case, which it may very well be considering my abuse history, it could be overlapping with my dysphoria to create a confusing gray area. So that will be another topic to process.

All in all, therapy is going extremely well. I’ve always had high respect for this therapist, and she proves it time and time again. I like the approaches she takes and that she is able to analyze things in a way sometimes I don’t see. I’ve had too many therapists that weren’t able to do that for whatever reason. I feel completely safe and at ease with her. 

I’m not going to see her for another 3 weeks or so because she’s going to be gone to do a training directly under Marsha Linehan. I’m excited for her. I know that doing this training is like a dream come true for her. So over the next 3 weeks, in between work, school, and home life, I’m going to try to process my own cluster fuck of thoughts to bring to the session.

Hey, Forrest here! 22, ftm, pre everything. The biggest issue I have with dysphoria is with my chest, as I’m a DD, and with my voice. Both bug me every second of every day, and I can’t wait to get started on T soon so I can eliminate one of the two issues. Posting this picture because I felt really good that day, and my chest was flat as hell that day. I hate that some days are good and some days are bad with binding. -.-;

Trans and nonbinary folks, feel free to submit your own selfies to Ways to Raise right here, for our body positivity week!

To everyone who’s seen Ruby Rose’s video and also want to hide their breasts

DO NOT BIND WITH BANDAGES

DO NOT

BIND WITH

BANDAGES

IT IS DANGEROUS. DO NOT.

Why did she even??? SHE’S GOT A PACKER, SHE HAS TO BE ABLE TO GET A BINDER??????????? 

Binding like she does in that video can be a serious health risk and you should never do it. I have heard of people only doing it for a few hours for cosplay and ending up breaking a rib. So please don’t. 

Use a proper binder instead, and if you can’t afford one then there are a few other ways like layering sports bras and tops, and neoprene back braces (just wrap it over your breasts instead and hide the velcro under your arm).

As a side-note, I am very happy to see a genderqueer person like her in the media.

Edit:
The video is about her when she was young and didn’t know any better, and she stated in an interview that binding like that is dangerous. But since the video is being posted without the commentary from the interview I think she should have put a warning at the end or something. Thanks to proud-and-obsessed for pointing this out!

Aspen’s guide to Gender Dysphoria

because lately we’ve been getting a lot of asks about this, what it is, how it works, is it required etc etc

What is gender dysphoria? 

It’s an experience of distress or unease with your assigned gender, in a broad sense. Many trans people discover their identities through identifying their dysphoria, but it’s not the case for everyone. It can be generally sectioned into 3 types that i put in a venn diagram bc i fricking love venn diagrams: 

i made this really quick so I’ll explain it 

Social Dysphoria:  arguably the most common, where society views you as a gender other than what you feel yourself to be. Ways to treat this are changing name, pronouns, style of clothing, and gender marker on State IDs and Birth certificates. 

Body Dysphoria: also very common, where your body doesn’t match the body you feel you were meant to have. Many people report feeling disengaged from their body, or experience anxiety around getting un/dressed or looking in a mirror. Ways to treat this are cutting/styling hair, wearing makeup (if it’s fitting), pursuing Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), or receiving top/bottom/facial surgery as needed. Note: This is not to be confused with body dysmorphia, which is a disconnect between your appearance and your personal perception of your body. You can read about that here: [X]

Mental Dysphoria: less common, but a way of describing how you feel and think toward yourself. This can range from accidentally misgendering yourself to having cissexist thoughts or opinions that may clash with the gender you are. Can result in internal distress and anxiety. Ways to treat this are engaging in conversations about gender,finding a support group irl or online, seeking therapy, and researching trans inclusive social theories. 

Do I have to feel this way to be legit trans? Shit no! Many people don’t experience dysphoria and this has no bearing on your gender. It is a trans specific experience,and only trans people experience gender dysphoria, but it is not a requirement for being trans.

this is of course to the extent of my knowledge and might not be the whole picture so as always input is appreciated! xoxo

-Mod Aspen

3

The idea that you need any one factor (especially something painful/uncomfortable like physical dysphoria) to motivate you into transitioning is ridiculous. Being trans isn’t some sort of horrible disease and it sure as hell isn’t the same for every person. 

you do NOT need to be dysphoric to be trans or nonbinary 

Honestly, if you think dysphoria can be ‘cured’ by loving yourself, just fuck off. I don’t want you here. It doesn’t work like that, I would need to go through medical procedures to alleviate it.

Honestly, if you think dyphoria is self hatred, or hating your own body, just fuck off. I don’t want you here. I can still love myself and my body, even if I desire to have been born outside of my birth sex.

Honestly, if you think dysphoria is a privilege, just fuck off. I don’t want you here. My pain is not a privilege.