While you’re all losing weight and/or making changes to your body, I hope you still love how you are right now. How you look doesn’t determine your value. Instead of wasting time hating your body, put energy into how you live your life.
11 Things Everyone Dealing With BDD Should Say (But Can’t).
1. “I’m sorry that I’m constantly focused on my appearance; I don’t mean to irritate anybody. But I can’t stop.”
2. “When I rant about how shitty I look, it’s not to get sympathy, and it’s definitely not to make anybody else feel worse about themselves. It’s actually just how I see myself, every day - And sometimes I just get sick of it.”
3. “Please don’t tell me it’s all in my head. It doesn’t help.”
4. “Don’t tell me I’m being ‘superficial’, ‘trivial’, or ‘obsessive’. I’m already fully fucking aware - trust me.”
5. “I’m sorry I can’t stop fixating on diets, or surgery, or whatever fucking fix I think I need. Again, I’m fully aware that I’m as obsessive as hell.”
6. “I don’t mean to give off the impression that looks are all that matter. They’re not. I know they’re not, but it feels like they are.”
7. “The only person I’m judging by these insane standards is myself.”
8. “Every time I’m in public, I can tell people are staring at me. I know they might not be, I know they probably couldn’t care less about a random passer-by like me, but I can tell they’re staring at me.”
9. “I hate myself every time I look in the mirror - and not knowing if what I’m seeing is ‘real’, an ‘exaggeration’, or ‘not as bad as I think it is’, only makes me feel worse.”
10. “I’m sorry if you’re feeling fed up with me. I’m pretty damn fed up with me too.”
11. “I don’t want to be perfect. I just want to be more than this.”
I will learn at 17 what it takes some people decades to accept: that pretty girls who play to patriarchy and ugly girls who never got asked to a school dance suffer just the same. That the same trick is being played on all of us. There is no way to play the perfect-girl game and win.
-my face morphs in front of my eyes when i look in the mirror sometimes. my eyes change position and float away from each other. my nose balloons out then goes back to normal occasionally. my lips shrink then enlarge to an bad proportion. i don’t look REAL, i don’t know what i look like. my face looks like a basketball then its too thin. my cheeks are too big and then too small, my chin is too fucking big and i want to cut it off. my eyes are too small, my eyelashes are too short, my eyelids are huge.
-everyone talks about you. everyone. everyone looks at you and thinks you’re ugly, if they compliment you they’re probably lying.
-people on tv talk about u and how ugly u are. even people u don’t know are thinking about how ugly u are.
-u spend hours and hours thinking about how you can fix your appearance.
-you hate yourself for being so vain.
-you compare yourself to every single person you see. you wish you were anyone else but you.
-you measure your face to make sure it didn’t grow or shrink and it has to fit the exact ratio of 1.6 or else you need plastic surgery
-no makeup means panic attack
-every bad thing that has happened in your life happened because of how you look. didn’t make the team? cuz you’re ugly. don’t have friends? you’re ugly. failed your quiz? you’re ugly.
-whenever people talk about appearances, about anyone’s appearance, this is a DIRECT ATTACK TOWARDS YOU.
-pictures/videos are HELL. but you take so many. to torture yourself.
-people think you’re an absolute bitch
hi i wanted to write a post about BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) because ive never ever seen it discussed and i would like more people to be aware of it and maybe, some other people will realize they have it and not feel so messed up like i did for a long time
BDD is a disorder that makes you hyperfocus on your appearance, a lot of times its a specific part of your appearance. you obsess over a perceived ugliness and it preoccupies a lot of your time & makes daily functioning/social interaction very hard. its linked with other anxiety disorders (specifically OCD which i also have) and sometimes is thought of as being a subset of OCD
heres some symptoms in no particular order:
hiding/masking yourself (needing to put on a lot of makeup, always wearing sunglasses or baggy clothes, in my case i have to wear band-aids on my face and sometimes have to wear a literal face mask)
intense anxiety/suicidal feelings if “mask” isnt available
need for reassurance about appearance, but then immediately disqualifying any compliments you receive (”theyre just saying that to appease me, its because this picture was in a certain lighting/edited, i was wearing makeup” etc)
self-worth largely tied to appearance and thus feeling worthless very often. as a consequence it becomes really hard to talk about symptoms because preoccupation w/ appearance is seen as “vain”
withdrawal/fear in close or intimate relationships for fear of being seen as ugly
avoiding social situations for fear of being seen as ugly
looking in the mirror a lot (or avoiding mirrors), analyzing appearance daily, picking at skin/face/etc
comparing your appearance to other peoples (excessively and constantly: “people think this person is pretty and i look nothing like them so im ugly. people have called this trait ugly and i have it so im ugly” etc)
missing school, work, other events bc you feel like everyone will be staring at you and judging your appearance. this contributed to me dropping out of school
obsession with changing appearance or “fixing” perceived defects (personally i was obsessed with skincare for a long time and was always trying to find the perfect skincare routine and spent so much money on products trying to make my acne go away)
theres probably more but yea, this is getting really long! i would really really appreciate if people reblogged this so other people can know about it, also if you have any questions or just want to talk about your experiences feel free to shoot me an ask!
Diet and beauty culture thrive on guilt. Guilt over that delicious dessert. Guilt over that dress size. Guilt over those wrinkles. They teach you guilt and then they sell you the solution. Please, never feel guilty for existing. You are allowed to eat. You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to age. You are allowed to exist in the body you have right now without spending all of your time, money and self worth to change it.
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental disorder characterized by an obsessive preoccupation that some aspect of one’s own appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it. In BDD’s delusional variant, the flaw is imagined. If the flaw is actual, its importance is severely exaggerated.
People who have body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) think
about their real or perceived flaws for hours each day. They don’t have
the ability to control their negative thoughts and don’t believe people
who tell them that they look fine. Their thoughts may cause severe
emotional distress and interfere with their daily functioning. They may
miss work or school, avoid social situations and isolate themselves,
even from family and friends, because they fear others will notice their
flaws. They may even undergo unnecessary plastic surgeries to correct
perceived imperfections, never finding satisfaction with the results.
The characteristics of BDD include:
“persistent and intrusive preoccupations with an imagined or slight defect in one’s appearance.”
BDD most often develops in adolescents and teens, and research shows
that it affects men and women almost equally. About one percent of the
U.S. population has BDD.
The causes of BDD are unclear, but certain biological and
environmental factors may contribute to its development, including
genetic predisposition, neurobiological factors such as malfunctioning
of serotonin in the brain, personality traits, and life experiences.
BDD sufferers may perform some type of compulsive or repetitive
behavior to try to hide or improve their flaws although these behaviors
usually give only temporary relief. Examples are listed below:
Symptoms of BDD can vary, including:
camouflaging (with body position, clothing, makeup, hair, hats, etc.)
comparing body part to others’ appearance
checking in a mirror
changing clothes excessively
People with BDD suffer from obsessions about their appearance that
can last for hours or up to an entire day. Hard to resist or control,
these obsessions make it difficult for people with BDD to focus on
anything but their imperfections. This can lead to low self-esteem,
avoidance of social situations, and problems at work or school.
People with BDD commonly also suffer from the anxiety disorders
obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or social anxiety disorder, as well
as depression and eating disorders.
step away from the mirror. its inaccurate. your brain is tricky, judgemental and dysmorphic. you can’t scrutinise yourself to happy
what would you say to your best friend if they were hating on their body? apply that same level of caring to your own. you DO deserve it.
tell me, how do you FEEL? are you full of energy? are you able to do so much more than you were when you were hurting yourself? can you run, jump, smile, lift up your arms to hug someone? think of all of the wonderful things you can do. all of the wonderful things your vessel brings you. aren’t you so lucky?
start to look at your body as art. every curve, lump, bump, edge, soft crease and tuft of hair is a miracle. the arc of your arm as you stretch as you wake up, the morning light illuminating your face. it is beautiful and it is all there for you. celebrate yourself. take a long hot shower and thank the universe for giving you this home.
endless care. endless love. endless kindness. you need to show you all of it.
you can’t hate yourself into a person that you love.